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| I guess I should probably post a few pictures of me with glasses so you can see just how hideous I look with glasses.
Clearly you can see right here that the glasses forced me to do a vile thing in making an obscene gesture.
Look here, having glasses left me so depressed that I was unable to shave. Clearly the smile is photo shopped.
The glasses weighed so much, that they caused me to be dropped.
So clearly you can see that glasses were very bad for me. Of course, I am still in the early stages of still adjusting to contacts. I'm still not able to wear them for a full day. Each day I'm supposed to increase by an hour the wearing of the contacts. Saturday I started with wearing them for about 4 hours, Sunday 5 hours and so forth. I never realized until I got glasses just how dry the air is at my work, so I have been bringing eye drops to help keep my eyes moist. I go back to the eye doc next Tuesday. We'll see how I'm doing then.
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| Check out this picture of drug cheat Scammy Sosa
Holy shit, is it just me or does he look like a fuckin corpse in that last picture? Being a huge Cub fan, I can't stand Sammy because of not only how he left town, but also because he is a selfish, self-centered bitch who has cheated on more than one occasion. They say he doesn't have that disease that Michael Jackson had, but instead is he going through a "rejuvenation process" for his skin. Hmmmm................if only they had a steroid for that.
Ok, so the rest of this post you might want to skip. I'm warning you know, you will probably find it gross or even downright disgusting. Yet, on the other hand, kinda funny. Or interesting. Or all of the above. So continue reading at your own risk.
I don't know if you watch Curb Your Enthusiasm, but recently there was an episode in which the main character and Seinfield co-creater Larry David took a piss next to a paint of Jesus. I should clarify. The Jesus painting was in the bathroom right next to the toilet. His urine came out so strong that it bounced up and hit Jesus in the eye. It made for a funny episode, especially if you aren't offended by such a thing. Anywho, A friend of mine told me a story about how she was takin' a piss and somehow hit herself in the eye. Before casting instant judgement on her story as ridiculous, I figured I get the fact. First question I asked was if she was on the Earth at the time. Hell, it is possible to piss and have it float up and hit you in the eye if you didn't have to contend with that little annoying thing known as gravity. Well, she said that she was indeed still on our planet when she did this. In fact, she was on the toilet. And by she, I mean she is an actual person of the female persuasion. Now I'm not a girl, I don't know what it is like to be a female pissing, but I still find this not only hard to believe, but actually pretty much impossible. But if you are a girl, you tell me, is this even remotely possible? I guess if one can believe the Magic Bullet theory than maybe one can believe the Magic Piss Stream theory, but I am not one of them. Hell, the piss would have to go up, back and to the left. You heard me, back and to the left in order to hit her in the eye. Back and to the left. Its just not possible.
Still it reminded me of the time, I shot myself in the mouth. Only, this wasn't with urine! I was..................being orally pleasured laying on my back when "the moment" happened. Like pretty much most people, my mouth dropped open at the same time as my penis threw up. And up it went, right into my mouth! It wasn't the whole load that landed in there, but it was little bit. It was altogether odd. I mean what are the odds that would happen. Its kinda like trying to make a half court shot in basketball. Or, even a better analogy, a hole in one! If I recall correctly, my head was leaning back when it happened. I didn't know what to do, I mean it wasn't like I had a chance to spit!
Still, I would say that the odds of me doing that were better than the odds of a female shooting herself in the eye with her own piss on the toilet. I just don't see how that's even possible.
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| I was at work a few weeks ago and this lady who I work with returned to work from breast cancer. I told her she looked tremendous. Later on, I was told that you should never tell a lady she looks tremendous because its pretty much a nice way of saying she looks fat. I've always used the word tremendous a lot to describe good things or something that impressive, I had no idea it was an insult of sorts. So this past Friday I was going to my cousin's wedding. I was in the shower reminding myself not to say to the bride that she look tremendous. Well I get to the wedding and see the bride who looked great, and I walked right up to her and said "Hi! Wow you look tremendous!!!" I swear, sometimes I am socially retarded. I tried to cover it up by saying that she looked beautiful (just for the record, she did look great) but I think the damage was already done.
While I was at the wedding, I got a voicemail from my friend Danielle. Earlier in the day I had sent her a text message seeing to see if she would be interested in coming out with us this weekend as her mother had been battling cancer and thought it would be a good way to get away. When I last talked to her on Monday night for about two hours, she said things were not going good with her mom, they had stopped chemo treatments for the time being because her body was not reacting well to it and they thought they would be able to start treatments again in a few weeks. Still, the doctors said that they thought she might have about 6 months left to live. Getting back to the voicemail, Danielle said that she would not be able to go out with us because her mom had died. I was instantly deeply saddened by her loss; I had only met her mom a handful of times but she was a wonderful lady; always happy and laughing. I used to love to talk to her and make her laugh, she had a smile and a laugh that lit up the room. I remember when my mom died of cancer nearly 10 years ago, the first feelings I had were not of sadness but instead of relief that my mom was no longer suffering and we no longer had to watch her go through it. Danielle kind of has the same feelings right now. Although I can relate to her a little, there is no way to truly understand how she feels because I am not her and can't know the relationship she had with her mom. Nevertheless, my heart bleeds for her during this most difficult time.
So Saturday was try number 3 at trying to get my contacts in. I showed up promptly at about 9:40 and the lady who works at the eye doc's office said that she would have 2 other people that she would help getting contacts in as well. One of the people was a lady in her mid 20s who sat across from me. She sat down and I said to her "I'll race you!" Well, within about 5 or 10 minutes she had them in! The other person was a 12 year old girl who seemed to have them in even sooner than the last lady. Meanwhile, my ass was still sitting there struggling to get them in. I don't know why I was even there, I knew there was no chance of me to get them in. I knew it was a waste of time and pointless. After about 45 minutes I was getting ready to give up when I forced my eye open as wide as I could get it and just poked my eye quickly. Next thing I knew, my vision was blurry. Then clear! I looked and I could read the sign on the wall that listed the hours of the eye doc. Holy shit, I had it in! Even the lady that worked there was surprised. I stood up and walked around the room. Next thing I knew, I had the left one in. She had me take the right one out and put it back in before I left. Yesterday I was to wear them for 4 hours, today 5 hours, tomorrow 6 and so forth.
I walked out of the eye doc all sorts of excited. The sun was shining and for the first time, I could wear actual sun glasses! After 4 hours I had to take them out. I had no problem taking out the right one, but the left one gave me fits. My eye was plenty red by the time I finally got it out, but eventually I did get it out.
I like the way I look with contacts. I look tremendous!
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| Tomorrow morning I go back to the eye doctor to attempt to put in contacts. Again. For the third time. I'm pretty sure I know already the end result, I will sit there for an hour trying to put the damn contact in. I've told a lot of people about my struggle and of course everybody wants to help and offers advice. At this point, I feel like a baseball player who is struggling at the plate and gets overwhelmed with well meaning advice from everybody and in the process can't concentrate on getting a hit and continues to do worse. I'm not saying that I can't concentrate on putting them in, but I'm just saying that I've had many suggestions.
Somebody even suggested I try putting on eyeliner. I don't think that is a bad idea, however I haven't tried it yet because it appears that eyeliner is damn expensive, at least for somebody who doesn't intend on using the whole thing. I should be honest, I am supposed to be practicing touching my eye on a daily basis, however I have only done in a few times in the month since I went to the eye doc the first time. I feel bad because I feel like I'm wasting the time of the wonderful lady at the eye doctor every time I come in and can't get it in. Because of that, I almost want to say that if I can't do it tomorrow, then I'm going to give up. On the other hand, I've never been one to give up at many things. Maybe it is selfish of me, if I keep trying and wasting her time. On the other hand, she does get paid to be there, so what the hell, maybe I should keep going. | | |
| I was thinking last night about what makes me a liberal. I mean, why am I a liberal and not a conservative? Certainly, the odds of me being a conservative or a Republican were just as good as me being a liberal, yet for whatever reason, I am a liberal. I was not raised in a political household. Growing up my mom had no interest in politics and seemed to have no opinion on it either. In fact, no matter who was president at the time she would be pissed at Reagan, Bush or Clinton for interrupting her stories during the afternoons. Hell, I can't even think of a time in which I heard her mention the president by name. As for my dad, well he died when I was 4 so I have no clue about his political beliefs. And its more than just that I agree with liberals on just about every topic.
My oldest sister moved away out of state when I was probably 5 or 6, so her views would not have much of an influence on me. She is a liberal too though. My older brother, he has always been a big environmentalist and environmentalism and liberalism go hand in hand, mostly because Republicans don't believe there is anything wrong with the environment. So yes, I guess my brother had a bit of an influence on me in that respect, after all, I'm very pro environment as well.
I'd like to think my homosexuality has played a roll as well, and while I do think that is very true, I was a liberal even before I accepted my homosexuality and before gay rights became a hot issue in politics.
My utter disdain and hatred of Republicans played as big of a role as anything. I've always been type that is for the little guy and for minorities. Since I was a kid, I have deplored racism and discrimination with every fiber of my being. And while not all Republicans are racist, pretty much all racists are Republicans, regardless of the color of the president. If you look at people who are sexist or anti gay, chances are they are Republicans. And Republicans always seem to have a way of not only finding ways to hold back those who are different from them, and by them I mean straight, white, rich, males.
While pretty much many politicians on both sides respond and support the special interests who get them into office, Republican special interests seem to be more evil than Democrat special interests. The Republicans have the whole Christian conservative movement along with the NRA backing them. And I'll be damned if I'm going to be in bed with them!
I can go on and on about the evils of Republicans, so much that I would never end the post, as there is no end to just how truly evil they are. But, I'd like to also focus more on the issues that make me liberal. First of all, I want to clarify that I don't consider myself a Democrat. For starters, the Dems are not liberal enough for me. And also, let's face it, they are spineless pussies. And I also don't want to limit myself to only Democratic ideas. I'd also like to think I'm a least someone conservative when it comes to spending. But, socially, I'm just about 100% liberal. I've always believed that anything should be legal as long as it doesn't affect other people. The ironic part is that decades ago, that used to be a core value of the Republican party. So I guess, if I had been around then, I would have been a Republican. But that was a long time ago and things have changed so much.
But to me, part of the idea of big government is pointless laws that try to tell you how to live your life. For example, pot and prostitution, both victimless crimes. And of course, gay rights. The government should never be telling me what or who I can stick into my body; its my own business and if I want to do it, so be it. Now I want to clarify, this would be things that consenting adults do. But generally, I live by the rule to each's own; how can I honestly tell somebody what is right or good for them.
And with that being my core value and it being less a Republican value and more of a liberal value, my liberalism grew into the runaway monster that it has become today. Not that it matters though. Barring a major shift in the thinking of the two major parties, I can't ever envision a time in which I would be a conservative. After all, I care about other people, unlike the cold and heartless Republicans.
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