Month: August 2004

  • Big day today, so I hope you are ready to read.

    I just got done watching John Kerry on The Daily Show, which is the
    perfect time to offer my opinion on the whole president matter. First
    of all, did you know (I actually heard about this before, but forgot
    about it) that when people go to a George W Bush rally, they are
    required to sign an “Oath of loyality” stating that you will support
    Bush. This, at least to me, doesn’t seem to make sense. Sure, an
    overwhelming majority of people at the rally are going to vote for him
    anyway, but wouldn’t you want to try to attract people that are on the
    fence to this rally? If you are making people sign an oath, those
    undecided voters are not going to want to go to the rally. Even though
    I LOATH Bush, I will give him credit when do (its not very hard, since
    he rarely is due credit) and of course critisize when needed. I just
    think the whole oath thing is a dumb move. Anywho, there has been a lot
    of talk recently about Kerry’s record in Vietnam, and also that he was
    a anti-war protester when he got back. Well, I’m not a huge Kerry
    person to begin with, but if anybody is entittled to be an anti-war
    protester, it is the soliders that have fought in any war. And, again,
    another bad move on Bush’s part (although, they say its not him making
    these commercials, but another group, which I find hard to
    believe………i mean, he has to be involved in it somehow) is to try
    to rip Kerry’s Vietnam record. Hello………Bush, you didn’t serve in
    the war at all. Didn’t even go. So, to take a attention away from the
    fact that you didn’t go, you attack his record in Vietnam, therefore
    giving Kerry a chance to open up a whole can of worms about your lack
    of service. Again, it doesnt make sense. When I add up all of the
    issues, the one that stands out as the most important, is that Bush
    went to war when clearly, he didn’t have to. War should always be the
    last resort. Can anybody honestly say that we had no other choice?
    There was absoultley no other way out? We were in a clear and present
    danger of being attacked? Sorry, but none of that appears to be true.
    It wasn’t true before the war, and not true now, even as the war wages
    on. Don’t even get me started on the other issues, because nobody has
    the time to read all of that.
    Today was the interview for the place in Westchester. It is one of
    those credit card places. I arrived early, and walked into the
    building. It was a laid back atmosphere, people wearing jean, and me in
    my $500 suit. For some reason, it reminded me of Maritz, which was my
    first job. I filled out an application in the breakroom (like Maritz)
    and was taken into another room to take the Wonderlick test (I don’t
    remember if there was a test a Maritz, but whatever.). I was given 13
    minutes to finish 50 questions, some of them easy (what is the 11th
    month of the year………..I said SMarch) some of them more difficult
    (I hate math……….have I mentioned that before?). I got most of the
    questions done, but struggeled mightly with the math. After the test, I
    met with the HR chick. She started off by telling me that there was no
    way they could even match what I wanted, at least salary wise. I
    thought that this was not a good sign. She asked me a few questions,
    and then spent a lot of time almost trying to sell me on the company.
    She then went to get the customer service manager, whose name I can’t
    remember. I was brought back into the room in which I took the test.
    The manger showed up, and she was COMPLETLY naked, so we had sex on the
    table while the HR lady watched and took pictures. Anywho, the manager
    chick asked me a lot of questions, and I answered most of them
    honestly. I was on a roll. I’m afraid of many many things, and get
    nervous over a lot of stupid shit, but two things that most people are
    afraid of, interviews and dentists, I am fine with. I was not nervous
    at all. After quite some time, she asked me if I had any questions and
    I asked about vacation time. She left and came back with the HR chick,
    who answered my questions and proceeded to offer me a position at their
    company. It was for $2000 more then what she had mentioned earlier, but
    still $8000 less than what I make now. I told them I would think about
    it. I left, and thought about it the whole way home. I’m going to take
    the job……………..but, continue to look elsewhere. At least I
    have this to fall back on. There is still one slim hope at AAA, an
    admin job upstairs that starts at $10,000 more than this other company. Ohhhhh, if only i could get that job.
    Today, there was an ice cream social at work. I ate 2 scoopes of
    chocolate, and was talked into getting a scoupe of strawberry by this
    guy at work (Mike Corp……yes, thats his real name) with whom I
    always talk baseball with. After lunch, I sat around bullshitting an
    surfing the net, until I decided to play cards with Sandi and Cara. I
    learned how to play speed………..turns out I have bad reflexes. I
    was really tired and my comprehension was really really slow. I lost
    like my first 10 games, before beating Cara about 3 or 4 games in a
    row.
    This other job is very casual in dress. I can wear jeans and even
    shorts. I need to go shopping for clothes, but have no idea what to
    buy. I plan to take $500 and blow it on clothes. I used to always have
    Jt with to help dress me, but that is no longer an option. I need
    somebody to go with me, so if anybody has any free time (of if anybody
    is even reading this) and wants to go shopping, please let me know.
    The Cubs won again!!! WOOOHOOOOO!!! I have been waiting all season for
    them to go on an extended run of good baseball, and I really feel this
    might finally be it. They have now played 3 straight great games, this
    after Saturday’s heartbreaking loss. Lets hope they can keep it up.
    Long post……………..thanks for staying with me, if you did read the whole thing.

  • Today I got a phone call from a company in Westchester wanting to interview me, so that will be tomorrow at 9:30 in the AM.
    Work was fun. After my first lunch, we played uno for quite some time.
    I also set up the radio so that I may listen to the Cubs game. We then
    switched from Uno and started to play bullshit. It was me, Jason,
    Sandi, Cara, and Joe. What fun we had with that game, all the way until
    my 2nd lunch. Jason and I went to Mejier and he got whatever it was
    that he bought and I got some really crappy sausage pizza puff. It was
    not good, and not healthy. Oh well. Anywho, we went back to work and
    played war, poker, and blackjack. I wound up winning 2 dollars American
    from Jason in blackjack. I then tought them all how to play pass the
    shit. That was pretty much my day. I’m sure I left something out, but
    oh well.

  • You know, I just thought of something. Why is it, when people go to rob
    a bank, they always walk in and make an announcement “Everybody, this
    is a robbery!”. Why do they have to announce it? How bad of a robber
    are you, if when you walk in, people don’t know that you are there to
    rob the place? When people want to kill people, they don’t shout out
    “this is a murder.” Or if somebody is going to commit arson, they don’t
    walk up and make an announcement “Listen up everybody, this is an
    arson.” Seems to me that one would not want to attract attention to the
    illegal activity in which they are performing. Why not just say
    “Freeze! Give me all of your money!” I mean, I think people would get
    the picture. Instead, they announce the crime in which they are
    committing. I just don’t get it.

  • Today was the annual Consalvo family reunion picnic thingy. Good times,
    good times. I had intended to try to get up early. I woke at 10:04 in
    the AM and said “I will just lie here for 5 mo………next thing I
    know, I’m asleep and woke back up at 11:11. Awwww, nuts.
    We left pretty much at noon and arrived about noon-thirty. Much to our
    suprise, there were not many people there and the food was not
    done………….normally, people get there earlier, and the food is
    normally done by the time we arrive. So, we just hung around and talked
    for awhile. My cousin’s kid lost a baseball in the woods, so he and I
    went to retreive it. It took about 10-15 minutes, but we finally found
    it. In the process, I ran into a lot of cobwebs and actually had spider
    webs and even a spider in my hair. Gross. But, they were removed by my
    cousin’s wife……..it was the least she could do, as I did help her
    kid look for the baseball.
    The food was finally done. Good stuff. Burgers. Dogs. Sausage. Corn on
    the cob. Pizza bread. It was all very tasty, and I got my fill.
    After that we were all playing catch with various balls. Baseballs.
    Tennis balls. Softballs. Soccer balls. My balls………….oh, wait,
    that was only me. We also played beanbags, but I did not do as good as
    I did last time. We still won, though.
    After that, the kids had discovered the waterballoons, and the fight
    was on. We were all hitting each other with them. Mostly kids, but
    there were about 5 adults in on the action as well. The balloons were
    cool, but would not break on contact, so we had to squeeze them to get
    them to break.
    After that, it was time for the big softball game, which we all love.
    We had a decent amount of people playing the 16-inch game. I was lucky
    enough to pitch. First inning was rough. We made a lot of errors, all
    of them throwing errors, including one by myself. We wound up giving up
    4 runs. Damn. I was choosen to lead off. 2nd pitch a line ground ball,
    base hit. The next batter hit a ball on the ground as well, but I would
    be damned if  it was going to be a double play. My cousin Andrea
    was playing 2nd, and the ball was being thrown to her. So I slid. Right
    into her. I nailed the shit out of her shin. I felt bad, especially
    when I saw the bruise. She was ok, though. But, no double play. We were
    both safe. I think it was that play in which I hurt my toe, as it is
    sore now. Anywho, we scored 5 times that inning. Overall, I played a
    good game, 3 solid singles. Fielding and pitching was fun. The only
    other thing of note, was I gave up an absoulte bomb to Anderea’s big
    ass boyfriend Todd. I swear, that ball still hasn’t landed. I knew soon
    as I let go of the ball, if  he made contact, it would be gone. It
    was right down the middle, and he smoked it. Took us a few minutes to
    find it in the woods. In the end, though, we won the game.
    We played more beanbags and ate more food. All around, a pretty good time. Its always a lot of fun, though.
    On the way home, we saw a good looking lady in a Hummer. She smiled at me. If only she knew.

  • Woke up and went to the bank. Came home and wanted to clean the
    gutters, but upon further review, things suck up there. See, we have
    roof issues and need to get new shingles. Turns out that most of the
    shiney things on the shingles (like I even know what they are called)
    have left the shingles and are now living in the gutter. See, the
    shingles are warped and therefore curling upwards (as if they could
    curl another way). We are in dire need of new shingles.
    Had some errands to run. Went the cemetary. Lots of people there for
    some reason. It wasn’t a funeral, but probably safe to assume a loved
    ones birthday, as they were all hanging at one gravesite. Then I drive
    up and they are looking……….almost staring at me. What, they never
    seen somebody visit 6 graves before?
    Went to Menards to check on the cost of shingles. Asked a really hot,
    yet creepy guy to help me. Ohhhhh, he had great
    legs…………RRRRRRROARRR! Anywho, it doesn’t look like its gonna
    cost that much. I need to measure so see how long it is, and its
    basically just half of the roof with the problem, and the hot creepy
    kid says I can just replace half.
    After that I went to Kinkos to make copies of my resume. Nothing really to tell.
    Went to Best Buy after that, and this is when things get embarrassing.
    I saw the hot boy there. I swear, he is gay. He floats around the damn
    store for crying out loud. Anywho, he saw me and actually walked up to
    me to shake my hand. I start talking to him and everything, and making
    him laugh. He is so cute when he laughs, he has this great little smile
    and turns his head. Anywho, he tells me he is going to be going back to
    school. Turns out, he didn’t mean collage. UGGGGHHHHHHHH!!! He told me
    before that he had been working there for 2 years! He looks 20 at the
    youngest, I swear. I always thought you had to be 18 to work at Best
    Buy. Also, he mentioned that he can’t wait to go to a strip club
    sometime. Now, I know he aint straight, he is too fem. Ughhhh, this is
    so fucking embarassing. I talked to him for about 45 minutes, before I
    left and went to Meijer. I wanted to get some pancake mix, but couldnt
    find any.
    I did have an idea though. I love jolly ranchers (the candy, not the
    drink) and I love cereal. How about a Jolly Rancher cereal? Ohhhh, I
    know what you are thinking. How can jolly ranchers be a cereal, since
    they are a hard candy. Well, you just poor the cereal and milk in a
    bowl the night before, and by the time you wake up, they will be soft
    enough to eat!…………..heheheheheheheheh……………..I’m
    insane.
    The Cubs really pissed me off today. Being down 2-0 the whole game.
    Score 1 in the 8th. 2 in the 9th off the Astros closer. I’m thinking,
    “this is the kind of game they can really build on.,
    unless……………..” and unless happened in the bottom of the
    9th…….Cubs lose 4-3!

  • Here is a confusing story, but please, try to follow along. Danel’s
    best friend, Sharon, is……….well………in a word,
    in-fucking-sane! She is VERY self-centered and selfish, and here is a
    great example why, although there are plenty more examples upon
    request. One of Danel’s other friends, Sandra, works at a job that her
    own cousin got her. She told Sharon about the job and Sharon had an
    interview today. Well, Sandra’s cousin was one of the 2 people doing
    the interviewing. Sharon had mentioned, in the interview, that “Sandra
    said this job is boring.” Can you even believe one person could be so
    fucking stupid? Anywho, Sandra got in trouble because of it and was
    told that they are “going to be watching her now.” Danel confronted
    Sharon about it, but as usual, Sharon claimed it was not her fault, and
    if Sandra gets fired for it, than its her own fault. She said she
    couldn’t help what she said because she was nervous. What a crock of
    shit. Why can’t she take responsability for her actions? Remind me never to work with Sharon ever again.
     
    Is it just me, or do I bitch an awful lot in these posts?
    Danel brought her gameboy to work today, and I had so much fun playing
    old classics like Super Mario Bros, and even some Atarri classics, such
    as Pitfall, Pole Position, and River Raid. I still suck at River Raid.
    I can’t fly straight to save my life, but that shouldn’t suprise me,
    its kinda hard for someone like me to fly straight, if you know what I
    mean.
    Tonight I had a long discussion with Dave, about many things, but
    mostly about the whole Jt situation. I feel really bad for Dave. His 2
    best friends practically hate each other, and he is stuck in the
    middle. And instead of the 3 of us hanging out and playing darts, or
    going to the boat or track, or playing video games, he gets none of it.
    I’m sure it has taken its toll on all 3 of us, but we just can’t be
    friends, at least not now, and probably not anytime soon. Dave suggsted
    that the 3 of us have a sitdown at Denny’s sometime, as there are a lot
    of things planned for the next few months in which both of us are going
    to be invited. I have no problem going ot places that he is going to be
    at, but he has a problem with it and will not go if I’m gonna be there.
    Poor Dave. He is the biggest………….victim in all of this.
    Actually, I don’t know if victim is the right word, but it will suffice
    for now.

    CUBS WIN!!!! 2nd win in a row. They played a pretty good game today.
    Hopefully, they can build on this and finally get hot. They need to
    consistantly take 2 of 3 from here on out. They also need to make sure
    Wrigley is able to have fans.

    AUG 20…………..HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY, DON!!!!

  • Well, I had an interview this morning at 10:30. The drive was sorta long and I was really worried that I was lost, but made it ok.


    The place is Colortyme……..yes, that Colortyme. Altough the interview was in Aurora, the position is in Bolingbrook, near Wal-Mart. It is an Account Rep, and its sorta a jack of all trades. I could be calling people back if they don’t pay, or even going to there house to shake them down like I’m some kinda Mafiaso type. GIVE US THE FUCKING MONEY…………..TA-DAY!!!!!! I WANT THE MONEY TA-DAY!. I also would be handling customers, organizing deliveries and whatnot. The pay is good with potential for bonuses every week. The part I don’t like is the hours. 45 hours a week, including 6 on Saturday (but, I get a day off during the week.), and as we know, I HATE working weekends. But the job intrigues me, to say the least. And its not an entry level position, its sorta mid-level………..2 positions below me and 2 above. He pretty much interviewed me in the middle of the store right on a glass table that they are selling/renting, so it was pretty informal. The man is probably in his late 40s and looks a little like Johnny Sac from the Sopranos. I don’t know if I want the job, but there isn’t a whole heck of  a lot out there. I did fairly good in the interview and he seems interested in me, at least enough to earn a second interview next week.

  • Today on my way to work, I heard “Get a job” by the Offspring. I hadn’t
    heard that song in a long time, so it was nice. Its also gonna ring
    true for me in under 2 weeks.

    For the past couple of months, there has been a homeless guy (I’m
    assuming he is homeless……….he looks it, complete with a bunch of
    homeles type stuff.) Anywho, he has a sign boycotting Panera for
    disrimination, which is funny, because he is white. Seems he was
    shocking people with an electric cattle prod as they were going into
    Panera……………wait, thats not true. Depending on which worker
    you ask, he was either A. sleeping in front of the store or, and this
    is good B. going in there and not ordering anything and using their
    free internet access. Well, this seems likely, because I have seen him
    outside with a damn laptop! And I have been told he even has a digital
    camera. Anywho, he has switched sides of the street. He was on the same
    side as Panera (the west side of the street) now he is on the east
    side. Its pretty funny. If he has money for a laptop and a digital
    camera, one would think he can afford somewhere to live.

    Rumor is, a girl at work got fired for leaving early, so my days of
    sneaking out early might be over. Although she left 2 or 3 hours early
    and I only leave 15-30 minutes early, I don’t want to take any chances
    right now, being so close to the end.
    Today they gave us free sandwhiches, complete with pop, chips and these
    good ass chocolate chip cookies…………mmmmmmmmmm cookies. Once
    again, I spent a good portion of the day yapping with co-workers and
    playing Uno.
    Ohhhhhhh, not again. Today’s ESPNS “Top 100 moments of the past
    25  years” was Game 6 from last year, THE foul ball. I know its
    just a sporting event, but everytime I see it, I smile uncomfortably
    and sigh at what might have been. I know it wasn’t totally his fault,
    and they should have won that game (and people forget, they still had
    Game 7, which they blew) but it still makes me sad to see it. Speaking
    of the Cubs, they did their best to blow it tonight, but did win in the
    end. They still need a bullpen.

  • BOOOOOORING!!!!

    Nothing big today. Woke up, went for a run. Called a guy a Colortyme,
    they want to interview me for a position, but I hope its not in the
    store.

    Each day, work is less and less busy. Today, I was unable to take calls
    on the complaint line, so that meant I did nothing pretty much for the
    whole day, except look for jobs and yap with co-workers. I heard that
    somebody else got the job at the Villa Park store. I have a feeling
    that they don’t want me. Its no good when higher ups don’t like you, it
    makes it damn hard to get another position. Oh well. Tomorrow, I will
    tell the other place that I will not be employed by them. I have a
    feeling I might be making a mistake.

    Cubs lose again…………….FUCKERS!

  • Here is one of those stupid little surveys I
    filled out that  people are always sending me. Feel free to read
    it if you want.

    1. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR KITCHEN PLATES? I don’t know, I usually just
    eat over the sink or garbage.

    2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Does my stack of unemployment info
    count as a book?


    3. WHAT’S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? My mouse

    4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Lots of games. Lets just say
    Chutes and Ladders and end it at that.

    5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? Sports Illustrated………..Just do
    it…………I mean, Get into it.

    6. FAVORITE SMELL? Chocolate.

    7. LEAST FAVORITE SMELL? This stinky ass chick I used to work with, we
    called her Stink-Tit because………..well, you really don’t want to
    know why.

    8. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE
    MORNING? Damn! Its not afternoon!

    9. FAVORITE COLOR? I don’t know…………..does blue count?

    10. LEAST FAVORITE COLOR? Another color besides blue

    11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? however long it takes
    for the caller ID to show who is calling.

    12. FUTURE (or First) CHILD’S NAME: Quaid

    13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE? The cartoon network and cheese,
    but only if its at the same time.

    14. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?  Oh God, chocolate! I once gave the staff of
    the Bolingbrook Dairy Queen a fairly healthy beat down because they
    didn’t have chocolate ice cream.

    15. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? Yeah, sometimes, if there is a kick ass
    song on the radio…………you know speeding music…………like
    Phill Collins or Neil Diamond.

    16. FAVORITE TV SHOW?  Take a wild guess on this one

    17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? Well, I have a Ralph Wiggum
    and Bart stuffed dolly thingys at the end of my bed, but I usually
    just kick them each night.

    18. STORMS – COOL OR SCARY? Cool when you are sitting at home watching
    them…………..scary when camping and they tell you a tornado is
    coming and to seek shelter in either a screen house or trailer.

    19. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? 87 ‘Vette

    20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON (LIVING OR DECEASED)?  Doesn’t
    everybody want to meet Tony Danza?

    21. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Eh…………alcohol doesn’t taste
    good, so I will just say pepsi

    22. WHAT IS YOUR SIGN & YOUR BIRTHDAY? what ever sign October 7 falls
    under…………I think Libera

    23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? I do under gun point and extreme
    duress

    24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB WHAT WOULD IT BE? baseball player

    25. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY COLOR HAIR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I just want to
    keep it from going gray.

    26. IS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY? depends…………..if i’m filling a
    glass, half full, if im emptying a glass, half empty

    27. FAVORITE MOVIE? A Few Good Men, the movie directed by Rob Reiner,
    not the gay porn with Simon Rex and Ron Jeremy.

    28. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? if i can type a
    sentence, than it is the right keys.

    29. WHAT’S UNDER YOUR BED? hmmmmmmm………….the foundation to my
    house.

    30. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? Im all about the
    baseball……………also like basketball and football. and who
    doesn’t love competitive eating……………….ewwwww, gross!

    31. WHAT IS YOUR SINGLE BIGGEST FEAR? Running out of toliet paper

    32. SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Which
    person? everybody has sent me this survey about 10 times now

    33. KETCHUP OR MUSTARD? both

    34. HAMBURGERS OR HOT-DOGS? both

    35. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SOFT DRINK? Pepsi

    36. THE BEST PLACES YOU HAVE EVER BEEN? VEGAS!!!! And Wrigley Field

    37. WHAT SCREEN SAVER IS ON YOUR COMPUTER NOW. None

    38. PERSON MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Heather has a ton of time at work.

    39. PERSON YOU SENT THIS TO WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Kelli,