Went to Clem’s tonight. Danel actually showed up too, it was grand. I
would go into the whole pool playing process, but lets be honest here,
nobody really gives a shit about that.
     Scooty and I were arguing most of the night
about a Bears game we went to almost 3 years ago. It was against the
Browns, and as I remember it, the Bears were down by 14 with about 30
seconds to go.They scored twice in those last 30 seconds to tie the
game and eventually win in overtime. Scooty insisted that they trailed
by 14 with 3 minutes left to play, but only 7 with 30 seconds left. He
said that he has proof with his camera that suggested otherwise. Now, I
know without a shadow of a doubt that I am right……….I’m as sure
as the sky is blue. We asked Keith, but he couldn’t remember exactly,
but he said that the Bears were down by 14 with under a minute to play.
Danel called her dad, who is a big Bears fan. He looked it up online,
and found out that the Bears did trail by 14 under a minute to go, in a
game that they eventually won. Scooty still was not convinced entirely
that I was right, but whatever.
        When ever Danel and Scooty
are together, they both take turns ripping on me. They both like to rip
on me seperately, but getting them together, is like having 2 people
shooting at me at once. Its fun, and I honestly don’t mind it at all.
Its all funny stuff and everybody has a good time. Well, tonight,
Scooty said something that was sooooo funny, I had to mention it. Danel
was saying that I don’t have a lot of testosterone (somebody, please
correct the spelling) and Scooty said it was because “Mark had sucked
all of it out when we were in the womb”. Thats classic!
     After Clem’s, Danel and I went to Denny’s. We
sat in a both next to 2 hot guys. One of them was SMOKIN hot. He had a
great face and a hot body, with great legs. Ohhhhh. We spent most of
the time talking politics and I was pleading my case for reasons not to
vote for Bush, although I don’t think it matters too much, because she
won’t vote for Bush anyway. We all talked, as we do a lot lately, about
her little get rich over a gradual course of time scheme.

DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN! DAMN FUCKING DAMN!!! DAMN, DAMN!!!
    I swear to all that is holy and sacred that this
house is falling apart. Yesteryday, we tried turning on the light to
the bathroom and it blinked on and off. It kept doing this each time we
tried turning it on. So, I have Danel’s mom (she is an electrician)
coming here tomorrow to fix it.
    Tonight, I went in the utility room to get a Pepsi
for dinner. I stepped in the room and into a soapy puddle. The damn
washer was leaking! Luckily, we have the Sears maintenence agreement
and they will come out and fix it for free, or give us a new VCR. So,
Monday, they will be here between 1-5. Hopefully, both things will not
cost us any money. Hopefully.

I won’t bore you with the details of the begining of my day. I had
another class that I had to be at by 1 in the PM. Today we had to write
on little sheets of paper, cut them out, and paste onto a folder. I can
go into more detail, but lets face it, the most important part of the
story is the paste………….or, in the case, glue stick. It was fun.
Like being a kid again. The whole time, I kept wanting to laugh
thinking of the episode of the Simpsons when Ralph Wiggum was eating
his paste:
 MRS HOOVER: Ralph, are you eating your paste?”
RALPH (With the paste in his mouth): No Miss Hoover.
Ahhhh, so funny. You have to love Ralph Wiggum.
    I also had a meeting with chick that does resumes.
She was of great help, although my resume is already good, this will
make it better. Plus, it gives me a chance to come up with another
resume, so that I can get a job that is not in a call center if I so
choose.
     When I started this little journal, I told
myself I would offer my opinions on things such as politics, which I
have not done. So, here goes.
    I was thinking the other day, that the time we live
in now, is like the 1960s. Just look at the similarities. Both decades
we were in wars that we had no business being in, and they both turned
into disasters (sure, we have not lost yet in Iraq……the key word
being yet. Sorry, but there is no way this war is over, I don’t care
what any stupid Republican says). The country is and was very divided
on these wars, lots of peace rallies in both decades. Both decades had
a slick-talking, funny haired senator from Mass. running for president.
In the 60s, there was a massive civil rights movement. Today’s version
is the gay rights movement. In the 60s, we were worried about the cold
war and the Soviets attacking us. Now, we are worried about terrorists
attacking us. The 60s had a brash, wealthy Texan as president. Now, we
have a senseless, stupid, wealthy Texan as President. The September 11
attacks are today’s equivlient of Kennedy being killed, both very sad
and tragic, and both mirred in conspiracies. I’m sure the are more
similarities that I have not thought of. The point is…………well,
I have no point. But, with the decade not even halfway over, its going
to be interesting to see how things unfold. We will tell our children
about the times that we live in. Really, it is a historic time, even if
it is not good history. Times are turbulant right now, which is exactly
how people describe the 60s. Its just amazing how history repeats
itself, and how we are powerless to do a damn thing to change it.

Ok, I have to admit, I’m really starting to believe in the Cubs now.
Last year, I believed all along that they would win the division. And
they did. They are finally playing the way I thought they would. And
tonight, while watching the game, I was getting nervous again. Not as
bad as the playoffs last year, but still on the edge of my seat.

Another one of those classes today. I had to be there at 9 in the AM.
Danel called me at 8 and said that she won’t be going today. Pain in
the ass! I didn’t want to go alone, especially since the annoying
former AAA co-worker would be there. Nevertheless, I set out on my own.
I arrived just about 9, and realized that the class was for resumes and
I had forgotten my resume. I was going to try to make it through the
class without the teacher chick knowing I didn’t have it. The class
would end at 10:30AM. At about 10:25, she found out I didn’t have it.
She said I had been naughty and asked me to bend over. She pulled down
my pants and started to spank me. Then, she lovelingly kissed my
woun…………..I don’t think I should be disclosing any of this.
       The 2nd half of the class started
at 11ish. I didn’t really pay attention to any of this, as it was
boring. We are on the 12th floor, so instead, I spent most of that time
gazing out the window. What a view! I can even see O’Hare airport (at
least, I’m pretty sure its O’Hare) in the distance and was watching the
planes. And of course, watching cars drive from 12 stories up is pretty
interesting too. You can see people make illegal left hand turns, and
cut each other off and shit like that. We were let out of the class
shortly before noon. I went home and decided I wanted to try to get a
job at the Statesville Haunted house. I drove down there and there was
no enterance that did not say “NO TRESSPASSING!”. There was even one
sign that threatened attack my a bulldog if entering. Since I’m not a
big fan of pain that such a beast could inflict, I choose to leave.
Besdies, there wasn’t anybody around at all.
    After that, I went to get my car wash. I wanted to
see how much damage I did to my car when I rearranged Scooty’s mailbox.
Turns out, the long scratch, wasn’t only dirt. Most of it is indeed a
scratch. Also, the “SLUT” Danel wrote in the dirt on the door is still
partially there.
   One thing I forgot to mention, there was a dude in the
training class that looked an awful lot like John Kerry, about 20 years
ago. Even his hair looked like his, except it was black.

This getting up early business really sucks. I woke about 7:30, ate and
showered. I called a place that had left a message for me yesterday. It
was for some sales/delivery job which requires going to schools and
such and selling them crap. Its not for me, so I told her to shove it.
      I stopped off at the bank before heading
to the job fair. Traffic wasn’t as bad as I expected, and it only took
about 45 minutes to get down there. I parked and headed inside. The
doors had opened at 9 in the AM, so I figured there to be a little bit
of a line. Boy was I wrong. The line was from one end of the stadium,
to the other end, and halfway back to the other end. And I actually got
in the line when it was sorta short. After I was in line for a good
hour, the line streached all the way to the Indiana boarder, or so it
seemed. Although most people were dressed good (I in my very nice
suit), some dumbasses were wearing jeans. And even a couple had shorts
on, if you can believe that. Shit, if you are going to wear shorts, you
might as well stay in bed. A couple of other losers even brought their
kids. Shit, its a job fair, not a fucking county fair. Still, most
people weren’t that dumb. There were a lot of hot, young guys dressed
in nice suits, which made them look even hotter.
     After spending what seemed like 2 hours in
line, I was granted permission inside. But first, I would walk to the
seats and look at the field. It looked so tiny. And it was unpainted.
Did you know they remove the paint after each game? I didn’t. At least,
I’m assuming they remove the paint after each game. They left the field
goal posts in the ground. After a few minutes, I headed into the fair,
not knowing exactly what to expect. It was packed. And long lines at
every booth. I was a little discouraged, because of the amount of
people. How am I going to beat out all of these people, or even 1/3 of
them? I stood in a few lines. Most of the companies were from downtown
Chicago, or the north burbs, like Waukegan and Schamburg. And a lot of
the jobs required degrees. Damn. I felt hopeless. Being there made me
realize just how many people are looking for jobs. It made me feel like
I don’t stand a chance. After visiting about 6 booths, I decided to
head home after visiting the Tribune booth. While I was in line, there
was this really hot guy dressed nicely in the line next to me. He
seemed very fem. I was unable to talk to him, though, while in line. We
both finished in the line about the same time. He was walking out, as I
was walking out. I wanted to talk to him. As soon as we reached the
doors, though, he was on his cell phone. Nuts!
    For some reason, while I was in line this morning, I
had Baby Got Back stuck in my head. I think it was because there were a
lot of big butted (is that even word?) black girls there.

I had such a tough time sleeping last night. I didn’t fall asleep until
well after 1 and had to be up about 7ish. Even when I did fall asleep,
I kept waking up for some reason. As I was lying in bed, I kept
thinking about how I think I want to work in a haunted house again.
Ohhhhh, how much fun that was. I would love to do it again, and I’m
trying to talk Danel among other people into doing it too. If I’m still
without work come December, I might want to even play Santa Claus. That
would be fun as well. I would love to just scare the children and make
them believe that Santa is just a pinko commie that supports Pat
Buchannan and testing on animals for human gain. Of course, I don’t
care about any of that ( I really hate Pat Buchannan) but I would only
do it as part of the character of Santa………………to show kids
how he really is. You know, most kids just see the Santa on TV or in
the malls, but they don’t get to know Santa as a person. You know, the
Santa that likes to go hunting. Beat puppies. Sexually harrass the
female elves. Cheat on Mrs Claus with the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy,
and Nathan Lane. Thats the Santa that nobody knows about, the Santa
that needs to be shown. Oh, we can turn it into a FOX reality
show…………When Santa Attacks!
       So, we got to the Oak Brook place
shortly before 9 in the AM. I have always wondered what going to school
with Danel would be like, and this is sorta like that. We, of course,
sat right next to each other, in the back row……………there were
only 2 rows. There was a total of about 20 people, including one other
person, who shall remain nameless, from AAA was there, it was a person
that we CANT STAND. She sat way on the other side of the room. The room
we were in was on the 12th floor, so we had one hell of a view.
Throughout the day, I kept gazing out the window. Last week, I did this
other survey (not the one I have been bitching about, but another, cool
one) and I got the results today. Apperently, the ideal career for me
would be a law person thingy, you know, lawyer. They also had an area
of interest report, and one that I scored as having a very very high
interest in is literary stuff. Apperently, I have a creative interest
in “writing and sophisticated language skills.” Heheheheh, they refered
to me as sophisticated. I also tested strong for Social Service,
Persuasive, Clerical, and Musical. I was thinking, and being a social
worker would be really cool. I have always wanted to help people and
make a difference, and not in an annoying way. Anywho, most of the
class, Danel and i whispered to each other and giggled. I know it seems
bad, but we weren’t as bad as I just led you to believe. I do think,
however, that we mildly annoyed the older guy next to me. I really
should be more mature, but its not as fun.
     The teacher lady chick had some sort of a
backpack, which is supposed to represent…………you
know………….shit. She asked for a volenteer to reach into the
unknown pack and take something out of it. I enthusiastically raised my
hand and she choose me. I reached in and pulled out a dirty sock which
was the size for about an 8 year old. It was not stinky dirty, as it
looked like it had been washed, but just dirtied up a little. She said
it was supposed to represent dirty laundry and how everybody has it and
needs to………..I don’t know, I really wasn’t paying attention. I
was too busy throwing the sock on Danel and whatnot.
     We went to lunch at the Corner Bakery, which
is a Panera part of Maggiano’s. I got some sorta of chicken sandwich
and chedder brocolli soup. Damn, it was all very good.
      The class after lunch was a boring
resume class that I didn’t pay attention to and was dozing off in, so I
really can’t tell you much about it.
    After class, we went to Kinko’s so that I can print
out some resumes. The dude asked me how much I needed and I said 100
copies (50 resume, 50 reference). He said it would be about $12 and
asked me to place my money in  a machine where I would get a card
to use. So, I did, expecting to get money back, but apperently, all the
money was put on this card. Shit, like I’m going to spend $20 at
Kinko’s. I wound up selling the rest of the card to Danel. Anywho, the
dude put some resume paper in the copy machine for me. I needed 100
copies, but for some reason, he only brought about 40 sheets. I ran out
and had him get more. He came back and I started to print out again.
Danel noticed it was a different shade of color, so I had to get new
paper. He comes back with more paper, and of course, it was not enough.
Dumbass. Why can’t he just give me a huge ass stack of paper. No.
Instead, he has to keep going back and forth, wasting my time, his
time, and the time of the other waiting customers. What a dope!

So, today I went to Scooty’s house to watch football. I arrived and
rang the bell. I could hear the games on, his TV was so loud. I rang
again. And again. And knocked. And rang. And just walked in. He was
sitting on the couch watching his brand new 50 inch hi-def tv. I was
the first one to see it and know about it. Its sweet. He loves it. For
the first half hour, we were primarily watching the Bears game, but
throughout the day, we kept switching between all the games, including
the Cubs game. The whole Direct TV/NFL Ticket is pretty cool. Scooty
was so distracted with it and his TV, that he really didn’t pay much
attention to the games. I swear, sometimes, he has ADD. In and out of
the room, constantly. He was even trying to hook up a computer to his
TV. It was nice though. And the Bears actually won! They beat the
Packers! The funny part, was Scooty not only put 16 points on Green
Bay, but also made them his lock of the week. Sucks to be him. And, the
Cubs won too. Kick ass.
    After a while, we were hungry and decided to order
stuffed pizza from Giordano’s. So, he called John and invited him over.
After about an hour, the pizza arrived. It was really really good.
Sausage and Garlic stuffed pizza. Holy crap, what a meal. We watched
more games and I dozed off in his recliner. I also had him make a cd
with a bunch of pictures from all sorts of different events, and if i
could afford premium, I would put them on here. About 6 in the PM, I
decided it was time to go home.
    Now, what happened next, I know I will never live
down. See, Scooty’s driveway is really weird. Its sorta curves at the
end of it. I think you might know where this story is going. I backed
out and drove straight. I felt the car hit something, but, I thought it
was just the curb. I heard the noise again and looked to my left, and
there it was: His now bent mailbox. Fucking great. The first time in my
life I was straight, and I hit a fucking mailbox. So, I drove off.
Shit, there were kids walking down the street and other cars in the
area. It was embarrassing. Plus, I didn’t want to tell him to his face.
I figured I would call him as soon as I got home. As soon as I walked
in the door…………..I don’t even think the door was closed
yet………..the phone rang and it was him. Needless to say, he was
not happy. I felt just awful about the whole thing, but on the other
hand, it was sorta funny. And, now there is more ammo for people to use
on me. It shall be fun!

So, the dumbasses of Louisana approved the gay marriage ban, including
civil unions. I was thinking about this, and if gays can not have the
same rights as everybody else, then they should not have to pay the
same amount of taxes. They should get a tax break. How can you ask us
to pay the same amount as you, if we don’t enjoy the same
freedoms……………its bullshit when it comes down to it. “Oh, you
are not one of us, but when it comes to paying, you are.” Does that
make sense?