You have to read this post, I have made a very important discovery, read a couple of paragraphs ahead to find out.

 Its time for the annual Christmas Eve morning breakfast at Bob
Evans. I arrived at about 9:15 in the AM, about 15 minutes early. When
one is walking into a resturant asking for a table for 17, you should
not arrive right on time and expect them to just have a table for 17
ready, even though every year, they usually do, I just didn’t want to
take a chance on them being too busy. Anywho, it took about 5 minutes
for me to get seated, which was fine, because it gave me time to check
out the HOT ass waiter and cook. I got a close up look of the waiter,
but the cook was stuck in the back (wow, that sounds kinda dirty,
doesn’t it?) so I never got a good look at him.

Randy was the first person to arrive. He assured me that there was no
chance that the Johnsons will be on time, because he was at their house
’til about 4AM. I told him it didn’t matter if he had been there only
until midnight, there was still no chance in an all glorious hell (why
can’t hell be glorious? why is it assumed to be awful? maybe, for some
people, its glorious.) that they would be on time. Mark shortly
arrived, followed by Scooty and his chick, and then the Johnsons pretty
much at the same time as them. Then Dave and Kelli arrived. This would
be the first time that Scooty has seen them since the vibrator
incident. Scooty walked up to Dave and held his hand out. Dave said
very sternly and forcefully “FUCK YOU, MAN, DON’T TOUCH ME!” Scooty
looked taken aback and Dave said again “FUCK YOU!” and for the first
time ever, it looked like Dave would have pounded the shit out of
Scooty had he persisted. They pretty much ignored each other the whole
time. There was so much tension between them two, you could cut it with
a knife. Kelli, meanwhile, did give Scooty a hug and seemed to pretend
nothing happened. When Scooty left, he extended his hand and said
“Merry Christmas ” to Dave and Dave shook it and said “YEAH, GOODBYE”
without even looking at Scooty. Ohhhhh, its going to be mighty
interesting next week when these two are both drunk together.

After breakfast, I headed to get my haircut. I arrived and it looked to
be busy, but apparently, the in thing to do nowadays is for the whole
family to go together so that they can all watch one member of the
family get their hair chopped, even though the remaining members of the
family aren’t getting their hair cut. How boring. So, I hadn’t even had
a chance to read much in ESPN the magazine before it was my turn. The
lady that cut my hair had a new, 12 week old kitty that was there. I’m
not really an animal person, but this cat was sorta cute, and had a lot
of  bravado (did I really just use bravado?) because as I was
sitting in the chair, he came right up to me, and crawled into my lap.
She asked me if I minded, and I said no. It was no big deal, but if
this cat was looking for affection of any kind, he came to the wrong
place, as I did not pet him at all. So, I tried to milk him. Ok, maybe
not. he just sat on my lap. He would watch the hair fall onto my chest,
and they sorta claw after it. Now, here is where the important
discovery comes in. The stupid fucking cat started eating the hair as
it was falling. This answers the age old question of “why do cats get
hairballs?” Anywho, eventually, he got off my lap. The funny part, is
that the dude in the chair next to me was practically begging for the
cat to come by  him, but he refused, going up to everybody else
but him. Finally, after the cat’s grand tour of the room, he came up to
the dude in the chair. Unfortunately for him, his haircut was just
finishing up, so he had just a couple of minutes with the cat.

After the cutting of the hair, I ran to the store to pick up some food
for tomorrow’s breakfast. I found 5 cheese Texas toast! Do you realize
how much this kicks fucking ass? Garlic toast and cheese is such a
great marriage, it can only be made better by adding 4 more cheeses to
it. I will let you know how it tastes tomorrow morning.

I started reading the George Carlin book Dave got me for the grab bag.
Its funny, but not nearly as funny as America, The Book. Its a quick
read too…………I’m already 100 pages into it, and there are only
about 230 pages. Still, he makes a lot of interesting points in it. I
need more books, though, so if anybody has any books (no romance
novels, please……….in fact, I would just as soon avoid novels,
unless its really really really really really good) please, pass them
on. This might sound boring, but I think I want to read the John Adams
book that was recently released………….and by recent, I mean
within the last year or so, which is really recent seeing as he has
been dead for almost 180 years.

Speaking of books, the Johovah Witness gave me another book to read
today. Its about the Bible and the title is something like “The Bible:
Word of Man or God.” I haven’t read it, but it looks pretty similar to
the evolution/creation book she gave me. I’m still going to read it,
because I really want to strenghen my beliefs, and what better way than
to learn about the opposition and how its complete bullshit. The funny
part, is that I think she is trying to convert me, and like all
Witnesses, she probably will never give up and really really believes
that I will cave, but its just not going to happen. The funny part, is
that the more she gives me to read, the stronger my beliefs become. I
will stay open-minded, though, because one can never learn too much,
especially when one wants to be able to have a good argument to say to
those people “religon is complete bullshit.”

The Bulls have won 5 in a row! Wow.

Ohhhhh, only a 4 day week this week…………thats sooooooo cool.
Each day, I wake up and count how many days it is ’til I can sleep in
again. There are now just 3 more days until I can sleep in again.

I went Christmas shopping after work today. I think I am all
done………at least, I hope I’m all done. There was so much fucking
traffic in and about the Fox Valley mall. First, I went to Best Buy.
Damn, I swear, no matter which Best Buy I go to, there are always hot
employees and hot customers. This time, it was no different.

Next, I went to the mall. I bought some game Mark wanted from Gamers
Paradise. Next, I was going to look for clothes for him. I can’t buy
clothes for myself, why does he think I’m going to be able to buy
clothes for him? The bad part, is that since we are doing a grab bag
this year, its not like any of my other siblings will get clothes for
him, its just pretty much me and thats it. Anywho, I settled on a Bears
shirt and some stupid looking sweater that even I wouldn’t
wear……….actually, it looks like something John would wear.

After that, I stopped off at Rene’s booth. Tony was supposed to be
working with her there, but he had not yet arrived. She was
understandably very troubled by this, since she was much, much busier
then the last time I was there. After a while, Tony finally showed up,
and just in time too, because they got even busier. I really wasn’t
able to talk to them much at all, so after a while, I realized that I
was hungry and should head home.

The thing about the mall this time of year, is that there are just too
many damn people. On the other hand, there are a TON of hot guys there,
so many that I don’t really pay attention to anything else. Hot damn, I
need a man!

I had my 6 month dental cleaning today. I had to go to the Lockport
office as opposed to the extremely close Romeoville office. Its not
that far of a drive, though. Should have been 10
minutes……………should have been.

I had this vision of the office being in downtown Lockport, I don’t
know where I got that idea from . So, I passed the office right the
hell up and wound up in downtown Lockport, which is really neat, but
not where the office is located. Eventually I turned around and headed
in the right direction. I got to the office right about 11:55, so I was
about 5 minutes early.

While I waited I read a sometimes boring, sometimes interesting article
about sleep in Time. The whole sleep thing is very frustrating. There
is so much we don’t know, and as you might know, I a very curious
person and need answers for everything. I read about half of the
article and as it turns out, sleep is very important. Every animal does
it. It ranks up there with being as important as food and sex. But,
with so many unanswered questions, it can be a bit frustrating.

I got called into the office about 12:10ish. The dental lady person
assistant cleaning my teeth, but I will spare you the
details…………after all, its somewhat gross and not interesting in
the least.

After the cleaning the dentist came in. Everybody in this office is
very nice. Its 3 dentists that share 2 offices. I don’t know the name
of this dentist, but he is the one I have had more than the others. He
is cool, and I think he might be gay. Anywho, everytime he sees me, we
always talk about the Cubs. He walked in and asked me if I was done
with my Christmas shopping. I said no and he said “well, are you gonna
get a new right fielder for the Cubs?” We talked about the Cubs for a
minute or so. He looked inside my mouth for another minute. He said
thank you and happy holidays and left. This is what he gets paid for,
to walk in the room, talk baseball and look in my mouth, all in about 2
minutes. What a job!

We had some free candy today at work…………..it was very good. Really, I got nothing else about work today.

I rented Shrek 2. It was pretty damn good, but the overall message is the same as the first one. I enjoyed it though.

Damn, I just don’t feel like writing tonight.

Randy and I got our asses thoroughly kicked up and down that fucking
bar by John and Keith at pool tonight. We must have
played…………..I don’t know……..a certain number of games and
we never beat them once. Randy has a legit excuse, turns out he has
shingles right now. But me, turns out I just suck, really really really
bad. I told myself I was going to stay later tonight, but I’m just so
wipped out right now. Plus, I figured I would stay late the next 2
weeks, since I won’t have to work the next 2
Fridays……………YAAAAAAAYYYY!!! Holidays kick fucking ass!

The Da vinci code has blown my mind……………I’m completely
captivated with it. Although, I have always agreed with the underlying
idea, it has answered a lot of questions and I do believe a lot of it
is true. We all know how evil the Catholic Church can be, so that part
of the book comes as no suprise to me.

Dave talked to some of his old college friends over the weekend, and he
was telling me all about them tonight. I guess one of them is an
amatuer photographer who has his own website. Good for him.

I got nothing else.

Another long but fun day. Today at work they had some sort of holiday
raffle, they were giving away all sorts of shit…………well, it
really wasn’t shit. Things like a caupaccino maker, DVD player, George
Forman Grill, along with many many other things. In total, it was about
40 people that won, and I was not one of them.

I had a talking to today by my supervisor……….I really wasn’t in
any sort of serious trouble, but it was more like a “be careful” type
of thing. Long story short, I had to call a co-worker about a call and
while I was talking to her, I said something along the lines of “yeah,
this guy is ready to cry, he is being such a baby”. Well, it turns out
that call was monitored, and as my supervisor told me, things like that
have contributed to us losing lawsuits, so I have to watch what I say.
I agreed with her, I should not have said something like that, I was
just goofin’ around and she said she knew that and found it funny, but
I still shouldn’t do it.

Today was our work Christmas party at Bobak’s. I arrived and there
still was not a lot of people there yet. Before being allowed to go up
to the buffet, they served us soup. It was good, but it had a green,
leafy taste to it. Anywho, right after the soup, we did our grab bag.
They had a unique way of doing the grab bag. Everybody stood in a
circle and held onto a gift. One lady read “The Night Before Christmas”
and everytime she said the word “and” we took our gifts and passed to
the right. We must have passed about 20 times. Anywho, I wound up
getting a $20 gift card for Blockbuster, which was cool because it was
only a $20 grab bag, which leads me to believe that somebody got it as
a gift and didn’t want it, or there is less than $20 on the card. Of
course, there is a chance that somebody bought it specifically for the
grab bag.

Anywho, after the grab bag, we ate. It was a fairly long line for the
buffett, but there were 70 of us, and that wasn’t including other
customers. The food was outstanding, as usual, but it was not as good
as the Bobak’s in Burr Ridge, although they had a really hot bus boy at
the one in Naperville…………he had a great smile!

I had to cut out of there about a half hour early and head over the
Willow Seminar thing. I pulled up just as Danel and Sharon were pulling
up, and I parked right next to them. I got out of the car, and the
person next to me got out of her car, and as it turns out, it was Judi.
It was great to see her. We walked into the hotel and went to the large
room the seminar was taking place at. It was like an AAA reunion! The
room was filled with tons of familar faces, it was great. Even though I
have been at the new job for about 6 weeks, it just doesn’t seem like,
for lack of a better term, home. It doesn’t feel right. But, being in
this room tonight, felt right, even though there were some people there
that I did not care to see, there were a lot I wanted to see. I got
caught up with a few of them before the seminar started.

Danel, myself, and her friend Edward (who did not work at AAA) sat in
the first row. I don’t know why Danel choose the first
row…………..she and I both knew we were going to fool around
during this thing. I know it was rude, but we keep whispering shit to
each other the whole time. Shit, I really wasn’t too interested in the
program, but I was really there just to see everybody. Danel and I kept
writing notes to each other. For example, the lady was talking about
how much things cost, and she said something like “autoraztion pass,
$16″ and I wrote on my paper “fucking over AAA, priceless.” One time,
the lady mentioned how a lot of call center jobs are being out-sourced
to India, and I popped in and said “or Nebraska” which got a good laugh
out of everybody (for those of you that don’t know, our jobs were
outsourced to Nebraska). Danel and I were just being goofy. I had a
wrapper from a mint and we kept throwing it at each other. I would
throw it in her purse, she would throw it back. I put it in her coat
pocket, she gave it back. I put it on her head, she gave it back.
Finally, she got out her lotion and threatened me “I swear to God, I
will spray you with this.” She held it next to me like it was a gun and
she was doing a hold up. Classic. I kept doing it and she put some
lotion on her fingers and rubbed it on my hand and arm. After a while,
I rolled up the packet of paper they gave us and put it at my crotch
and pretended to jerk off. We did all of this as the lady was talking.
I know, how nice and mature of us. But, shit, we bring out the teenager
in each other. Oh, how I miss working with her. We used to do shit like
this in meetings all the time.

Afterwards, some of us went to The Colonial. Danel and I sat there
jawing back and forth at each other. We were making filty comments to
each other, just being vulgur and inappropriate. I don’t normally talk
like this with anybody else, but there is something about her and I
that makes us go back and forth. Its a great chemistry that we have,
but obviously, we can never be together.

I was thinking about something the other month: dating and looking for
a job are very much alike. Think about it. In both instances and on
both sides, you want to make a good impression. You always dress nice,
try to say the right things. You don’t want to come on too strong, yet
you want to appear to be interested (which is a fine line, by the way).
When you leave, you spend the whole drive home thinking “what did they
think of me? Did I impress them? What could I have done differently or
better?”. If you get offered the job at the end of the interview, its
the equivalent to scoring on a date. Then there are the insecurities.
You know, when you have to take a test on an interview, you are always
wondering “did I do ok? What if I did bad” the same thing you say to
yourself after sleeping with somebody for the first time. And if you
don’t get a callback after the first interview, its like not getting
called back after the first date, you are disappointed, but don’t want
to call back and make yourself seem desperate. And, you sit there
thinking “what if they found somebody else? Surely there has got to be
somebody better out there, I just hope they don’t see it.” Just trying
to get the first date or the interview is hard enough. You spend time
answering job postings or personal adds, knowing that a lot of other
people have responded and you don’t even expect to get a reply. You
spend the whole first date/interview thinking “can I see myself being
with this person/working at this job?”. And sometimes, you even have to
give or get references. For example, your friend works at a job and
they say “this job is so cool, let me get you a job here” just like a
friend that says “this person is so cool you would make a great
couple.” And if the job doesn’t pay well, they say “it has great
benefits” which is the same as saying about an ugly person “they have a
great personality.” Really, its all one and the same when you think
about it. And then once you get the job or person, you spend the first
few months trying to not blow it…………….you have to be on your
best behavior. Meeting co-workers, thats sort of like meeting the
person’s friends. Meet bosses and higher-ups, thats kinda like meeting
the parents and family. Calling in sick? Thats sorta like blowing off
the boyfriend/girlfriend so that you can hang out with your friends.
See, when you stop and think about it, you can apply the same thinking
to both, and be ok, don’t you agree?

Today at work, I had to have 2 ladies from a current training class sit
with me so that they can learn what not to do, at least, that is why I
think they sat with me. You know the way I am when I first meet
somebody, so I was pretty goofy with them. The one girl seemed very
ammused by everything I was saying and doing. The other lady, on the
other hand, seemed annoyed and bothered. It was pretty much me in a
mircocasm (spelling please………….I have never had to type that
word) you either love me or hate me. They sat with me for about 45
minutes, which was fine. I felt like I had to be constantly
entertaining them, though. That is one of my flaws, (if thats what you
want to call it) is that I always feel like I have to accomadate people
and ensure that everybody is having a good time. Dave is the same way.

Tomorrow is the big work Christmas party at Bobak’s. I LOVE Bobak’s,
and have been craving to go there for quite some time. After Bobak’s, I
have to go to the AAA Willow thing at some hotel in Naperville.
Although I’m about 95% sure I’m not going to take them up on their
offer, I really want to go to see some of my former co-workers, which
should be cool, at least cool to see the people I want to see.