So, we had a tornado watch (later upgraded to a warning……..upgrades
are always good, except in weather) yesterday, which got me to
thinking: why is it called a tornado watch? Shouldn’t it be a tornado
alert? Saying watch sends the wrong message, like you should watch the
tornado as it runs a path of destruction through your
neighborhood…………you know, point at it and wave. An alert woudl
seem to send more of a sense of urgency, as if to say “a tornado alert,
if you see it, run.” The term watch is never bad. Wrist watch. Watch
tv. Watch animals doin’ it. Watch a baseball game. See, none of that is
bad (well, the animals doin’ it really isn’t good, just really creepy)
but now look at the word alert. Red Alert. Alert the authorities. Stay
alert. See, now that makes more sense. That way, you won’t stand there
saying to yourself “well, a watch isn’t that bad, even though there is
a funnel shaped cloud in my neighbors backyard.” Whereas, if its an
alert, you would be like “HOLY HELL!!! ITS A TORNADO ALERT!!!! SWEET
MERCIFUL CRAP, GET IN THE BASEMENT!!!”

Well, I finally got the damn promotion today…………2 fucking
months later! This means I will have to keep this position for the next
6 months. Unless, they offer me a promotion.

Today on the way home from work (after the first set of nasty ass
storms, and just before the start of the 2nd wave) while driving down
Weber road, I noticed a very unsual sight: so much hail on the ground,
that it looked like snow. I had never seen anything like this. It got
up to 70 today, so I knew it couldn’t be snow. But, yet, I saw the
white stuff on the grass and I did a double take. It sure as hell
looked like we had gotten a dusting of snow, even though I knew it
wasn’t possible. I looked at the bank temp and it said 52 degrees, so
obviously, no snow. But, damn, if it didnt look just like snow. After I
got home, it started to rain and hail heavily. Danel called me worried
about tornados. She has only lived in Romeoville for a year, before
that, she had lived in Chicago her whole life. Yet, you would think she
lived on the north fucking pole, judging by the way she reacts to these
storms. Its not like They don’t have hail or tornado warnings in the
city, yet she freaks right the fuck out when we get them out here. She
claims she isn’t used to it, but I find that unlikely.

Anywho, speaking of the city, I went to see Uvon tonight. We had a nice
little time and parking wasn’t as bad as last time. The drive home was
more…………er………..traffic-y than normal. Not that there was
a backup or anything, but for some reason, there was traffic on
I55.  Ahhhhh, fuck. I’m tired. Will write more tomorrow.

Well, I got my car back today. Turns out, it was the front brake
pads………..again! For about the 3rd time in the last year and a
half. They didn’t actually have to replace them, but just do some sort
of shit to them to make it all better. It was only $75, so that was
good. This girl at work said that they put the cheap pads on and that
is why it keeps happening. I’m sick of having to keep bring it in, so
I’m just going to stop using the brakes, or at the very least, cut down
on my brake usage to just once a day. From now on, I will just glide to
a stop and bump the car in front of me. They will understand.

I was driving to work today and saw a bird eating the remains of some
roadkill. It got me to thinking, do you think animals get ecoli or any
other food poisonings due to eating un-cooked meat? It would stand to
reason that they are running around with bad stomach cramps, throwing
up, shitting a lot or even dropping dead due to it. I mean, why
shouldn’t they? Hell, we do when we have bad meat. One would think that
if a dead animal sits out in the summer heat for a few days, that if
another animal comes and tries eating the remains, that they are going
to have to suffer some repercussions from it. Its the same thing with
animals and stds. They go from partner to partner, it would stand to
reason that they get stds. They don’t call it “fucking like rabbits”
for nothing. Stds have got to be rampant in the animal kingdom. During
mating season, some of them have several partners a day. Ok, so I’m
just making that up, but it sounds real, doesn’t it? Animals just can’t
go around whoring it up and not getting some form of the clap or herpes
from it, right? After all, why else do stray dogs and cats scratch so
much?

I got a phone call from our local rec center today. Back in the day, I
used to rent the basketball courts for games with AAA co-workers. Turns
out, they didn’t give me my last deposit………….from March 26,
2002! I’m glad that they were honest, but it really shouldn’t take 3
years for me to get my $50 deposit back. Honestly, I forgot all about
it, and they did not know about it until they were throwing some old
paperwork out and noticed it. I wonder if I can get my deposit back
from that keg I rented a couple of years ago?

I almost forgot, got a call from Dave today. They arrived in Miami
about 2PM today. He was calling me from a beachfront resturant in South
Beach. They are loving it down there. Monday they went to Universal
Studios in Orlando, he said they rode every ride and it was awesome.
Now that they are in South Beach, I’m a little worried, since OJ lives
there and all. I think he said they will be there until at least
Thursday, then things are up in the air. They were supposed to be going
to Savanah and Myrle Beach, but they heard it was only going to be in
the 60s there. He said they might stay in Miami a couple of more days.
He is loving this whole trip.

Well, my car is in the shop again. Nothing big, I think its time for
the rear brake pads to be changed. They say I should change them at
50,000 miles and I’m at about 49700, and I have been hearing some
squeaking………actually, it sounds kinda like a chain. Sort of a
chainy sound. Is that even a word? Anywho, I will find out tomorrow
what it is, I’m not too concerned about it, though.

I was listening to the radio this morning and they were talking about
the Michael Jackson trial. They were taking calls from people and
whatnot. Nothing exposes the racial divide of this country like a trial
for a minority celeb. Most blacks believe he is innocent. It seems like
all whites think he is guilty. I’ve noticed something. Not to be
racial, but it seems like blacks never think another black is ever
guilty. The race card is always played and its never the blacks fault.
Whites on the other hand, its the exact opposite. Whites believe
everybody is guilty. Its funny. But its also true. Blacks? Guilty.
Whites? Guilty. Hispanics? Guilty. When you think about it, if it
weren’t for whites, our prisons wouldn’t be so over crowded. Its all
the fault of the whites. Somebody was charged with a crime? Put him
away, he is definitely guilty. GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY!!! When any celeb
is on trial, whites always say he/she is guilty. Maybe its because
whites are always doing things illegal, that they just assume that
everybody else is always guilty. As for blacks, all minorities are
innocent, but all whites are guilty. Maybe they always believe
minorities are innocent because they have to convince themselves that
there is nothing wrong with committing the very same crime. See, it all
makes sense now. AHHHHH, I’m such a bastard.

I have been thinking a lot lately about how I want to do something
important with my life. Just being a productive member of society is
not enough. I want to make a difference and make the world a better
place somehow, but I have no idea how to do it. Sitting here and
ripping on things and making wisecracks on my blog
is…………….well, its nothing, anybody can do it. Anybody can
make their opinions know and make fun of shit, but only those who
CHOOSE to make a difference actually make a difference. My problem is
that I have no idea how to go about doing anything, and I never want to
go about these things alone. I mean, should I try to get into politics
of some kind? And how do I do that? People like myself don’t make
successful politicians. All I know, is that I should do something
meaningful with my life. Its not to say that I don’t like my life, I
do, but with so many problems in the world, how can I sit there
and………..well, just sit there. Talk about action, but not take
action. And I know this is all lip service now. I will talk all about
this, and a year from now, it will be the same old shit, me bitching
and making semi-funny jokes about this.

Dave called this morning from a beach on the Gulf of Mexico. He held
the phone out to the ocean and asked me if I could hear it. Of course I
could. Anywho, they left New Orleans at about 11ish and he was about an
hour east of New Orleans in Mississippi just off some state road south
of I10. By now, he should be in Orlando.

Today is a monumental day. Today, I have paid off my car, and 13 months
early. Nobody will understand this but me, but just as a last fuck you
to them, I left a balance of 35 cents on the account. Shit, the people
at GMAC won’t understand it, they will think I did it in error, but I
don’t care, as its my last laugh and own personal satisfaction, even if
I’m the only one that knows it.

Today we went to my cousin Cathy’s house in Tinley Park. She and her
husband are 2 of our favorites from my mom’s side, so we really should
spend more time with them. Anywho, dinner was pretty damn good, ham and
potatos and all sorts of shit. Not that it was shit, because honestly,
it was very good. We go to her house for Easter every year, and every
year, I get drunk on strawberry flavored wine, and this year was no
different, except that I didn’t drink enough to get drunk, as we ran
out of strawberry wine before then. Anywho, we watched the NCAA
tournament, I’m not really into college basketball, but both these
games were really good. Shit, even John sat and watched, although I
think he was just amazed with the hi-def big screen. We left about
7:15ish and came home.

I’ve come to realize something about me and my siblings: we are
different and odd. Its not to say we aren’t good people, we are decent,
hard working, productive members of society, just a little off, thats
all. Take me first. Besides the obvious, I say and sometimes do odd
things. You never quite know what will come out of my mouth. Then there
is Mark. Although he just might be the most normal of all, he still has
too much of my mom in him to be considered normal. He is obnoxious and
doesn’t hold back. John…….well, he’s John. Just when I think I’ve
got him figured out, he does something that makes me and others scratch
our heads. And, most people don’t know this, but he often makes weird
noises and says funky shit, not in front of people, but basically when
he is around just us. As for Roseann……….I don’t have the time or
enough space on this blog to even begin to explain her. I could almost
say the same thing for Carmen, the nudist, wican practicing mother of
2. I can just sum her up by saying that she never shutsup and used to
think her cats could talk to her, and this was without drugs. I can go
on and on about all of us, but really, its not fair to ruin everything.
Some things, you just have to find out for yourself. In closing, my
parents offspring are a little odd and different. Nice, but weird. If
nothing else, we are interesting and for the most part, you can always
count on having a good time…………..at least when you are with
either Mark or I.

Here is another Dave update. They arrived in New Orleans about noon on
Friday. They came in over the country’s longest bridge, a 25 mile
bridge going over part of the Gulf of Mexico. It cost $4 to drive over
this thing. He said it was amazing, nothing but ocean on both sides of
him. He said the town has an area that is filled with bars (Bourban St?
the French Quarter? help me out here, people) and they found themselves
at a karoke bar at 4 in the afternoon with about 300 other people, most
of which were drunk. He said the streets were like one big party. They
wound up going back to the hotel, drunk at about 10PM, which I thought
was sorta early, until he told me that they had been up since Thursday
morning. Today, they went to the Six Flags down there, which is about
1/3 of the size of ours. They also took a 2 hour tour of the city and
tonight will be hitting up some of the bars in the area. Should be a
great time for them.

I finished reading The Stand on Thursday, and decided that I should
watch the movie. This would be the first time I have watched a movie
after reading the book. I specifically saved today so that I can watch
the 6 hour movie. I have to say, I was disappointed. First off, there
was a lot missing from the movie and a lot that was different. And the
movie was corny and had lots of bad acting. Man, there is no doubts now
about why Molly Ringwold’s career went south………..holy shit does
that chick suck. The plot was good, but even though it was made in
1994, it still seemed like a campy 80s made for tv movie. Now, I’m well
aware it was a made for tv mini-series, in fact, that might be part of
the problem. But, still, like the book, there just seemed to be
something missing, I can’t place my finger on it. My biggest pet peve
about changes from the book to the movie, is that one of the characters
in the book is fat, ugly, and a complete loser but in the movie, he is
thin and actually cute, despite them trying to “ugly him up”. Of
course, they can’t make him TOO ugly. They have to make him tv ugly,
which as we know, is not ugly at all. I just felt they should have
remained true to the book with regards to that.

Speaking of books, I have a book from 1997 which lists the 100 best
baseball players of all time. No, Todd Hundley is not on the list. But,
Barry Bonds deservingly is. It lists players weights. Back then, he was
listed at 185 pounds. Now, 228! He is a rail in the picture in the
book. Most of the great home run hitters of yester year were not much
over 200. Sure, Ruth was 215, but just listen to some of these weights
of some of the greatest homerun hitters of all time: Foxx 195, Aaron
180, Mays 180, Banks 180, Musial 175, Mantle 198, Robinson 195, just to
name a few. Now, look at some of todays players: Palmiero 214,
Sheffield 215, Sosa 220, Giambi 230, Thome 246. Most of the older
players mentioned and new players are about the same size. What does
this tell you? Its just more proof that steroids are rampant in
baseball. Sure, some of them might have bulked up naturally, but not
all of them. Look at Giambi. He admitted it. Look at his weight and
compare it to the others. Its almost a smoking gun. And pitchers aren’t
off the hook either. Buehurle 220, Farnsworth 240, Gagne 240, Sabathia
290, shit even Jeff Supan is 220. Here are weights of classic pitchers:
Feller 185, Seaver 206, Grove 190, Span 175, Gibson 195. All hall of
famers. Now, try telling me steroids aren’t taking over the game.

Well, our fantasy baseball league is all set. I have to say, I’ve got a pretty damn good team, I like my chances.

Tonight, I went over to Marks house, Amy was at a bachelorette party so
he wanted to have a guys night at his house. There really weren’t many
of us there. We ordered Girodanos and since Mark and John still believe
that eating meat on Fridays during lent is a sin, we weren’t able to
get pepperoni or sausage in it. Brian was there and he claims that the
reason for that stupid Catholic rule is because way back in the day,
the fish industry was struggling, so the big bad pope came up with the
no meat rule during lent Fridays. I don’t know if its true, but it
sounds like something the Catholics would do.

Rusty was also there. He and I talked about politics and religon for
quite some time. Even though he is a Republican and I’m more Democrat,
we found each other agreeing on more things than I ever imagined, which
is kinda scary.

After Brian and Rusty left, Mark, John and I played rummy. I actually
did very good and wound up winning. Next, we played a new card game
Mark taught us called 99. It was a lot of fun, but I lost the first
game to Mark and lost the 2nd game to John. Ask me how to play
sometime, I can show you.

Throughout the night, the Mark and I kept pretending we were the
voice-over voice for the WB. I know its sorta stupid and corny, but we
were really amusing ourselves. We would make up names of shows and
pretend like we were saying lame ass previews. I can’t even remember
any of the names of shows. We were also making fun of 24, turns out
Mark and John think I do a good impression of one of the characters on
the show. This was the first time I could remember that just the 3 of
us hung out and done something………….it was weird.

I finished reading The Stand the other day. It was good, Stephen King
is definitely taleted, but the book was a bit much at times. It didn’t
have me on the edge of my seat or leave me hurring up to finish like
other books, such at the Da Vinci Code. Still, I enjoyed it, and I
think I’m going to try to watch the movie sometime this weekend.

WOW!! I’m excited for Don. He and Dayna moved into their new house.
Last I heard, he wasn’t going to be moving until May, but their
townhouse sold really quick and they were able to move in. He was
telling me, even the garage and shed have AC and heat, if you can
believe that! Wow. Crazy shit. A heated shed. I can’t wait to check out
the new house, should be cool. Now I wonder which one of my friends is
going to move into his old townhouse, seeing as Brian and Rene moved
into one of his old houses and Keith and Heather moved into another one
of his old houses.

For those of you that don’t know, my friend Dave and his wife Kelli are
taking a major road trip for spring break. They are leaving Thursday
night and driving straight through to New Oreleans. Then, Orlando,
Miami and somwhere else in Flordia. I’m going to track their trip here.
I spoke to Dave tonight. He hopes to be on the road by 8PM tomorrow.
Tonight, he is very excited and if I know him, he will be too excited
to sleep tonight. Kelli’s sister will take the dogs from tomorrow until
next Thursday, then they are going on vacation. At that point, Jt will
stay in the house with the dogs. Dave said he knew better than to ask
me, knowing how I feel about those dogs. I told him that was probably a
good idea, because I would punt those dogs so far if I had the chance.
Anywho, he said he has a ton of things left to do. More updates when I
get them.

After hearing the Michael Jackson mix last night, I really got in the
mood for his music. So, after listening to some of his greatest hits,
it got me to thinking. He wouldn’t be in this whole mess if he were
still black. Think about it. Black people never molest little boys.
Old, creepy white guys pretty much have the market cornered on that
one. After all, the priests raping those little boys………all white.
It wasn’t until he became white that he started dating 12 year olds.
When he was black, he was singing about “Bille Jean” and “PYT” and
things like that. He turns white and its all about healing the world
and hanging his kids over balconies and bagging Macualy Culkin. Its
really a shame. As for blacks, they spend all these years trying to get
equality and they can’t even get arrested for molesting a 12 year old
boy. Oh sure, they commit crimes, but its usually killing their wives,
just like every other race. I’m all about equality and the blacks just
aren’t being fair on this one. You know what, when I go back and read
this, I probably should just shut-up right now. But, I wouldn’t be me
if I didn’t just go on and offend those of you that are still reading.
Would it kill the blacks to throw in a molestation charge here and
there? If you want equality, then you really need to start committing
the crimes to make things equal. What, does Michael Jackson have to do
everything for you? Shit, he writes the music, dances, gives to
charity, and has been with more boys that a priest. And Oprah can only
do so much, and molesting has never been her bag. So, help a former
brother out. He needs it.

Q101 does this whole mash up thing in which they take 2 songs and
combine them in a unique and interesting way. Tonight, I heard a combo
of “Foxy Lady” “Bille Jean” with a pinch of “Purple Haze”. If nothing
else, it was interesting. Actually, I liked it. I found it cool. They
said you could go to the website and listen to it, but I was unable to
find it.

So, Joe Borowski is out for what could end up being 10 weeks. I don’t
know if this is good or bad. He was having a good spring, but on the
other hand, there is no telling if he would be back to normal this year
or not. This HOPEFULLY will force the Cubs to go out and trade for a
closer (I’m thinking Uguth Urbina from the Tigers. If they don’t, we
might get stuck with having to watch Hawkins attempt to close games.
Its funny what the 9th inning does to a pitcher. Hawkins is lights out
any other time. Yet, put him in a save situation and he turns to
fucking jello. Yet, they just might be content enough to stick with
him.

I went to Uvon’s again tonight. Damn parking. Ughhhh! I have to say
though, we did find a spot and I did manage to paraell
park…………of course, I bumped the car behind me, but my parrell
parking skills are a work in progress. Anywho, I’m tired, for some
reason, I was unable to sleep well last night. Again.