Man, I swear, Republicans are pure evil. Pure fucking evil. A
Republican State Senator in Maine has proposed a bill to legalize gay
marriage………..just so that he can vote against the bill. Is life
in Maine that boring that he has to dream up of new ways to prevent
gays equal rights? I don’t understand these people. How can they have
so much hate in their hearts that they want to try to preventing gays from
being as happy as they can be? Gays being married, does not affect
anybody else in any way, shape or form. The fact is, it does not hurt
Christians or straights, and it does not make straight marriage any
less valid. Its all based on religon, which is funny, since we are
SUPPOSED to have seperation of church and state in this country. I see
these people on tv and see pics on the net and in the paper protesting
gay marriage so much. They put so much time and energy into prevent
other people’s happiness. If only they would put that much time and
effort into bringing people together and teaching love, the word might
be a lot better place. Instead, they protest something that doesn’t
affect them at all. Does that make any sense to you?

I watched Donnie Darko yesterday. It was pretty good, but confusing in
a way. I did understand it, though. I also understand that Jake
Gyllenhaal is really really really really really really fucking SMOKIN!
Man, he makes my special place happy. I think, though, that if you want
to watch it, it would be better to watch it stoned or trippin’ or under
the influence of some sort of drug. To put it simply, its a drug
movie…….. not in the sense that there are a lot of drugs in it, but
it makes more sense when you are toasted.
There was also some extras on the DVD, and one of them was a contest
they had for the #1 Donnie Darko fan. The fan had to make a little
documentary proving he/she was the #1 and it would be included in the
DVD. The guy that won was SOOOOOO pathetic, I thought it was a joke.
The dude was so embarrassing, that he should not be allowed to have
kids because the kids would get the shit kicked out of them everyday.
Don’t believe me? Watch the damn thing for yourself.

I have said it before, and I will say it again: beware Sox/Cubs karma.
I have said that the teams are partners in misery, whatever happens to
one team, the other team will have something happen to them which is
equal or worse. Case in point, last year, there was concrete falling
from Wrigley Field. In today’s Daily Southtown, there was a report that
Comiskey (I won’t call it US Cellular) is having the same problem. And,
as you all know from one of my previous rants, Wood and or Prior are
hurt (depending on who you ask), well, yesterday the Sox top pitcher,
Mark Buhrele, may or may not have broken his foot, depending on who you
ask, he might be out for 6 weeks. Its erie how these things work
between these 2 teams. Previous examples, Sox fans run on field and
attack 1st base coach and later an ump. Cub fans find this funny and
make fun of Sox fans, then………….well, you all know about the
infamous Cub fan incident, no need to bring it up again and break my
heart. See, its all Cubs/Sox karma. And its down right creepy.

The Clevland Cavailers fired their coach, Paul Silas today. I mention
this because of how tough the coaching profession has become,
especially in baseketball. Your team goes into a slump, and all of a
sudden, its time to fire the coach. The Cava narrowly missed the
playoffs last year, Silas’s first season in Clevland. They started off
strong this year, but have lost 7 of 10, but are still hanging on to
the 5th seed in the east (there are 8 playoff spots) and more than
likely, will go to the playoffs. Now, I know these coaches get paid
lots of money, so its hard to drum up sympathy for them, but I just
think too many times, they get the raw end of the deal. I always say,
more times than not, its not the coachs fault the team is bad. At least
in the NFL, they usually wait until after the season to fire the coach.
Baseball usually does a lot in season, but they are a little more
patient than the NBA. The sad part, is that a lot of times in the NBA,
its a direct result of the players, who can’t handle authority and
discipline. If the whiney millionaire player (Kobe Bryant, Allen
Iverson, Jason Kidd, I’m looking at you) doesn’t like the coach, they
tell the front office “its either them or me” and the front office
sides with the player nearly every time. If the team struggles in the
least, the coach is fired. They just don’t get a chance anymore. Just
imagine if you had to be looking over your shoulder at the first sign
of trouble at your job, always having to worry about getting canned. I
would hate to work in that type of environement, its not healthy.

Tonight was Mistey’s big suprise birthday party. Mark and I were
worried that we wouldn’t have many people to talk to, since we don’t
know too many of her friends all that well. I arrived to pick up Mark
about 4:40 in the PM. He was in the shower, and I had woken Amy up when
I got there. We talked for a while as I waited for Mark. I guess Amy
watched like 5 hours of the steroid hearings the other day, which I
found odd, seeing as she really isn’t into baseball, but she said that
it was very interesting and she was captivated by it. Mark was ready
about 5ish and we left. It was a quick drive, only
about……………eh, what would I say……….7 minutes? Does that
sound right?

For a suprise party, there were an awful lot of people parked right in
front of her  house, which reminded me of Rusty’s suprise party in
which everybody parked in front of the house. When did people stop
trying to hide the suprise? Maybe the thinking is that “Ahhhhh hell,
he/she is going to find out soon enough anyway.”

There was not a whole heck of a lot of people there, probably
about……..15-20. We had Browns Chicken…………..you know,
because it tastes better. Mistey arrived shortly after 6. She was not
surpised, probably because the birthday cake which said “Happy
Birthday, Mistey” on it was in the garage right next to the door she
walked through to get into the house. I’m telling you, its like they
weren’t even trying.

Mistey’s husband, Jerry, has a creepy friend who is sorta clingy. He
was so clingy that for a while there, I thought that he might like me.
He would ask me questions like “what kind of movies do you like” or
“what pizza places do you like to eat from?”. I found out later that he
is a little slow. Great. How fucking stupid am I? I think a slow dude
likes me……….honestly, I’m not this stuck up……..or am I?
Ohhhh, I don’t know. I noticed he was following Mark around too. Maybe
he just didn’t know anybody, but shit, I have seen him one other time,
and I had never had a conversation with him before. Man, I hope I’m not
one of those dudes at parties. Nah…………I’m more the dude that
just annoys the shit out of everybody.

After a while, Mistey’s friend Carly’s boyfriend, Nate, showed up. He
was frickin hot! Turns out he used to be friend’s with my cousin Matt.
Found out we have all sorts of common links, or at least people that we
both know.

I guess Jerry’s sister is some kind of sci-fi freak. First, when we got
there, she was watching the Empire Strikes Back By Dismembering Luke.
Next she put in Star Trek: Wrath of the Fantasy Island Dude. I never
quite understood how in the Star Trek movie, they ship Spocks body out
the garbage shoot and into space leaving his body (which was in some
sort of coffin apparatus) to land who the fuck knows where. And then
all of a sudden in the next movie, they realize he ain’t really dead,
but instead just passed out from an all night bender with Buck Rogers.
Why would they just shoot him out there and not care where he lands?
Isn’t that a form of inter-galactic littering? I know its a body and
all, but don’t just throw him out of the ship like he’s a frickin gum
wrapper. Then again, what do I know about these types of movies, maybe
this sort of thing is acceptable in the space geek world.

I like hanging out with Mistey (on the rare occasions I get to see
her), she is fun, but I hate the fact that she tells bullshit tales.
She always has. I have known her since I was 3 and she has always done
this. Its too bad too, because she is a fun person. Some people are
just that way, though. They need to lie to cover up insecurities and
make themselves feel good and try to get people to like them. I know
several people like this, but most of them should just be themselves,
because they are fun, good people (ok, not Mark’s friend Jeff
Kroll………he is a liar and a complete fucking prick………really,
he’s not nothing going for him) and don’t need to lie to impress
people. And since lying is one of my pet peeves, I find that I don’t
hang out with Mistey more often. Its a shame. We have known each other
for our entire lives, so its too bad she can’t drop the charade.

I was lying in bed thinking about something this morning. I really
think that in Pulp Fiction, Jules (Samuel L Jackson) should have given
a 2 week notice instead of just quitting. Now, I totally understand the
magnitude of what happened with him and Vincent (John Travolta), but I
still think its proper to give 2 weeks instead of just outright
quitting. It would have given Marsellus a chance to find somebody else
to work with Vincent. And think about this, if he had of given 2 weeks,
then he would have been at Butch’s (Bruce Willis) house when Vincent
was in the can when Butch showed up, and he could have whacked Butch.
Instead, Vincent gets done flushing and POOF! there is Butch with a gun
to blow his ass into next week. In short, its because Jules was not
considerate enough to give 2 weeks notice that Vincent is dead,
otherwise, he would be alive today. I wonder how Jules feels about
that? I wonder if he feels guilty or bad about that. See, this is the
kind of shit I think of, and its at the most inopportune time for me,
when I’m in bed trying to fall back asleep. I’m beginning to think, I might not be normal.

Its time for another episode of: BREAKFAST GONE BAD!!! I almost forgot
all about my breakfast experience this morning. I had planned all week
to have blueberry pancakes this morning, since I would be able to sleep
in. I started to mix the water and powder together, when I had what I
thought would be a good idea. I decided to put some of the Hershey’s
Chocolate powder into the mix. At first, I was only going to put in one
tablespoon, but that didn’t seem like enough, so I added another one.
Big mistake. This made the batter WAAAAAY too thick. I couldn’t even
pour the batter out, I had to spoon it out. The pancakes were too
thick. They were, literally, panCAKES. It actually sucked. I think I
had too much sugar too. See, I had to put cool whip on them. And syrup.
And of course, I had milk with Hershey’s chocolate syrup in it.

I had my half-day Friday today. I’m lovin this. I worked from
1:30-5:15. I know. Real hard. Anywho, the card game would not start
’til 8, so I had lots of time to kill which I killed at the mall. Damn,
there are always so many hot people there. Its frickin awesome.

I have noticed an interesting trend recently. People don’t put as much
emphasis on keeping their shoes tied, and I feel it a serious problem,
at least as far as the shoelace is concerned. Walking around with a
shoe untied really put a lot of wear and tear on the damn shoelace,
when will people realize that? Maybe its an in thing, like having pants
that hang down, or tounge rings. Maybe I’m just old fashioned, but it
seemed like back in the day, keeping your shoes tied meant something.
Now, its like “who gives a damn, so my shoe is untied, just give me
another nipple piercing and I will be on my way.” But, I feel the lace
just doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment. Will somebody, please
think of the shoelace in all of this?

Cards was………….disappointing………..no, I don’t know if thats
the right word…….unfullfilling, that might be the right word. We
had 2 games, 9 people in each game. Top 3 get cash, fourth place gets a
straight  porn. Long story short, I walked out of there with 2
fucking porns if you can believe that. How fucking ironic is that? The
gay guy gets 2 useless fucking porns. I have already won 2 other porns
from previous games (although I passed on taking one the last time I
won), which is frustrating to be that close to getting my money back
and not get it. Shit, even if I were straight, I would still rather win
the damn fucking money. Even though I’m doing ok when we play, its
still not winning. When I get down, I play scared and try to protect my
money. This other guy tonight told me something that I should try, and
that is to try to bet the same, no matter if you are up big or down. He
also said that if I have something, don’t rush and bet really quick or
very slow, but just have the same reaction each time. I think I will
try both of these tips, although I really should have implemented it
tonight.

The one cute band teacher was there tonight. He brought a friend that
was hotter than him. It was sweet, except that he kicked my ass 8 ways
from Sunday. In fact, he finished in 2nd place in the first game. Man,
I can’t wait to play again. I get like this each time I play. As soon
as I’m done, I want to play again. Of course, I thought about it the
whole way home and stewed about how I lost. I should video tape these
games so I can find out what I can do to improve, you know, the same
thing baseball players do to improve their swings. And then, maybe I
can start using steroids too.

Everybody seemed to be in the St. Patrick Day’s spirit this year, even
the government. For example, on the way home from Clem’s tonight, most
of the stop lights were a festive green.

There was this SMOKIN’ guy at Clem’s tonight. I just couldn’t take my
eyes off of him. And he had a body that wouldn’t quit. Sure, he was
straight as hell, but one can look, right? I think he looked so hot
because there is never any hot guys at Clem’s………….shit, there
is like one hot guy a year there. Then again, this guy was really
fucking HOT HOT HOT!!!

We have all discovered something about pool. We all play way better
after John leaves. We think he does something to make us play bad.
Maybe he puts some short man curse on us. Not that he needs to put a
curse on me, seeing as I suck anyway, but we all played better after he
left. Keith really started to kick our asses after John left. It was an
all around bad night for me. I was awful at darts too.

Ahhhh, St. Patrick’s Day, as Kent Brockman once put it, “its a day when
everybody is Irish……….except the gays and Italians” which means
that I’m screwed either way.

I watched some of Congress’s hearings on baseball steriods today. I
still don’t understand why they are holding hearings, I know how bad it
all is, but I just think Congress can find a better use of their time.
Still, I’m sorta glad they are, but I don’t know how effective it will
be, Anywho, some of it was soooo boring. The thing is, I don’t think
any of these people would tell the truth. I think they ALL might have
lied, except McGwire, who just avoided answering the questions. I’m
sure he, Sosa, and maybe Palmiero have done them. I’d like to think
Frank Thomas didn’t, but honestly, at this point, I wouldn’t be
suprised if he or anybody else did. The whole thing is very sad,
though. The game of my youth is tarnished. Its sad, really. To think, I
fell for it all in ’98……….or at least, I turned a blind eye to
it. I knew at the time, it was a possiblity, shit, there were rumors
back then, but I just didn’t want to believe it. I wanted the great
home run chase to be legit, to be what it was, or what we all thought
it was then. I know about all the other factors that go into more
homeruns, but as a near baseball expert, steroids have got to be the
biggest reason, it doesn’t make sense otherwise. And not only are all
these records not legit, it also raises a shadow of doubt over pretty
much every player, even pitchers. I miss the days when my all time
favorite player, Andre Dawson, was humble and worked hard and was good
because of his honest talent and hard work. I feel like a kid that just
found out there was no Santa Claus.

I’ve been thinking about something for quite some time: What does the
Who’s “Squeeze Box” mean? When one first hear’s it, one would think its
a song about sex, such as this chick’s fun box or vollyballs. But, see,
I’m not so sure. When you look at the lyrics, it might actually be
about a lady that plays the accordian. I know most rock songs are about
sex, or metaphors about sex, and this one very well might be the same,
but read the lyrics and you tell me, is this chick horny or just all
about the music?

Squeeze Box Lyrics

Artist: The Who

Album: Squeeze Box

What is it about city driving and clueless drivers that are prone to
getting lost that is not a good comination? I was supposed to meet Uvon
Tuesday at a Starbucks in Edgewater at about 8:30PM. I had to get off
on Bryn Mawr which, I swear was before Belmont. All my years going to
Wrigley Field, I swear it was before Belmont. So, I drove all the way
to what I thought was the end of LSD and didn’t see it. I thought I
might have missed it, so I turned around to see. This was only 8:15, so
I THOUGHT I had plenty of time. I drove all the way back to Michigan
Ave and did not see it. Then, I had to turn around, which was an ordeal
in itself. FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!. It was 8:30, and I still hadn’t found it.
I kept driving past where I thought was the end of LSD and as it turns
out, it was the next street, if only I had kept on going just a little
further. Next, I had to try to find Starbucks. It turns out I drove
past it a couple of times and never saw it. I started to look for
parking, but there just was none. It was ridiculous. Finally, at about
8:50PM, I pulled over at a Shell station and called him. He said he
would come to me. I waited at the Shell and after about 5 or 10
minutes, he showed up. He looked different from his picture, but he was
still sorta cute. Taller than I expected. We drove around looking for
parking again. After about another 10 minutes, I finally found a spot.
We parked and walked the couple of blocks to his apartment.

I really enjoyed talking to him. We had some great conversations. He
told me all about his plan of world domination, which involved
moonshine and cows………….don’t ask, I don’t quite understand it
either. We also spoke for quite some time about religon, I was curious
as to how he could be Christian that goes to church every week, yet he
is gay. It was interesting. We talked a lot about politics and even
sports, which was cool. 3 of my favorite topics. Anywho, I left about
11ish. He was even nice enough to walk me to my car, which was a good
thing, seeing as I probably would have gotten lost and wound up in Lake
Michigan.

I just watched the Daily Show, and I saw something very refreshing.
They used the word bullshit UNCENSORED at least 20 times, I shit you
not. Granted, Jon Stewart said that it will be bleeped out of most of
the replays throughout the day, but it was not bleeped out of the 10PM
show. In all my years of tv watching, I have never heard that word
uncensored on network tv or basic cable. For the past year or so, I
have thought that we have been getting too conservative, but for once
things swing the other way. We are still getting to conservative, but
at least this is a something that is liberal. Who knows, Comedy Central
might pay for this, but there aren’t many conservatives that watch the
Daily Show and therefore might not be many complaints. Then again,
knowing the Christian right, they probably watch just so they can find
stuff to complain about. It would be stupid to file a complaint with
the FCC about this, no kid young enough for it to have an effect on
would or should watch the Daily Show, on the other hand, any teens that
might watch it already know what that word is and they probably use it
themselves. Anywho, I’m just saying, it was great to hear the word
bullshit uncensored.