I was thinking about something the other day. Deaf people. Is there a
universal language for sign language? Obviously, people that speak
English sign in English, but what about Germans? Or the Japanese? Is it
all one big sign language? That can be a bit tricky, because there is
no translation for some words in other languages. And, some gestures in
sign language are offensive in other countries (actually, I’m just
assuming this, I don’t really know……….shit, it stands to reason,
after all, biting your thumb in some places in Europe is offensive).
And, if a deaf person is trying to read the lips of a person speaking
another language, that must be very confusing. Shit, I’m clueless when
I hear people speaking in a different language, it must be awful to try
and read lips when one is speaking a different language. The whole sign
language thing amazes me as it is, if there is only one universal sign
language, that would be even more amazing.

Last night, Mark actually showed up at Clem’s. It was cool. He said he
probably will be showing up more often, because he and his people don’t
go out as much nowadays on Thursdays. The good thing about Mark being
there, is that I’m no longer the 2nd shortest one there, so I
automatically move up a notch. Anywho, pool was fun. Keith and I really
kicked some ass for a while. Eventually, we did lose. After a couple of
hours, we started playing darts………..High Score, to be precise. In
all the time I have been playing darts, I have never seen somebody get
3 bulls eyes in one round. Randy did it in the first game we we played.
In the 2nd round of the next game, I actually turned the trick myself!
I couldn’t be anymore surpassed. Randy is a big bulls eye guy, he is
always hitting them. Me, I struggle with them…………I’m usually
pretty good at hitting the triple 19, so for me to do it, it was a
complete shock.

Today at work, we had a party for the other twin’s birthday. The
cubicle behind me is empty, so it just so happened that all the food
was put in that cubicle, which made for a very tasty and fatty day. I
just could not stop eating. Everything was soooooo good. I was not
hungry once today. This one chick made this really really good ass
chocolate cake. I brought double stuff, chocolate cream Oreos. There
was also bbq ham, potato soup, potato salad, several dips, a cheese
tray, a veggie tray, donuts, and chocolate chip cookies. I ate myself
stupid. Since I usually eat healthy, this was a nice change for me,
although I’m paying for it now. Of course, I did stupid shit too. For
example, I was told I could take the cake home with me, so I put it on
a plate. There was frosting and crumbs left over on the platter it was
on. So, since I’m always thinking of ways to make great things even
better, I put some of the frosting on the Oreos. HOT DAMN! It was
excellent.

As if all of that wasn’t bad enough, I got home and had more crap. We
were planning on having Mark and Amy over for dinner. John bought some
Porterhouses that he made on the grill. We also had sweet potatoes,
which I, of course, loaded up. And, we had a pudding pie as desert.
Needless to say, I’ve now got quite the tummy ache. And, you are
probably disgusted at all the shit I ate today.

We were watching the Cubs game tonight, and Jeff Bagwell was up. I said
“Ohhhh, I don’t want Jeff Bagwell to hit a home run here, but yet, I
have no choice.” A couple of pitches later, and he sent a ball over the
damn left field wall. A few innings later, Jeromy Burnitz was up. I
announced that he was going to hit a home run in this at bat. Seconds
later, he hit a bomb to right. How fucked up is that? I should have
played the damn lotto, I’m never right like that.

Last week, I bought a case of Pepsi from Dominicks. When I got it home,
I opened it and put a few cans in the fridge. I noticed then some of
the cans were a little sticky, but I wasn’t too concerned about it
assuming that maybe a can had exploded or something like that. I have
drank a few cans since then, and today was putting a few more cans in
the fridge when I noticed a can dented. Next, I saw there was a mini
Hawaiian Punch in the box, right next to a can of Wild Cherry Pepsi.
Now, the Wild Cherry Pepsi I can understand, after all, its from the
same family of products. But, the Punch? It doesn’t make a damn bit of
sense. The only thing I could figure, was that somebody bought this
case, a can exploded, so they put the cans back in the box, complete
with the Cherry and Punch, and returned it to the store, who then
re-sells the damn thing to dopes such as myself. I should’ve tried to
take the case back, but I have already drank nearly half of it.

After dinner tonight, Mark, John and I played Castle Risk. I have not
played this version of Risk in quite some time, but I usually do very
good at it………..honestly, I usually win. Back when we were teens,
games of Castle Risk seemed to take hours upon hours to play. This
time, it was not the same. I realized that I should pounce on people
when I get the chance. So, I took John out fairly early. After that
turn, I had a large portion of the board. I never got another turn.
Mark wasted his time with a couple of lame and worthless battles before
deciding to take a chance on going for my castle, which worked, because
he actually beat me. Ahhhhhh, fuck it. As long as I win at cards
tomorrow.

I found out today at work that I’m not the only twin in my department.
This older lady (probably pushing 55 or 60) has an identical twin
sister. She said last year, they went to some sort of twin festival in
Twinsberg, OH. That would be cool, but I don’t ever see myself doing
something like that with Mark.

I love these NBA Finals commercials where the players treat the Larry
O’Brien Trophy (its the trophy given to the team that wins the Finals)
like its a real person. One has Tim Duncan professing his love for the
trophy. They are really fucking funny.

I’d hate to be boring, but I really aint got anything else. I thought
of something I wanted to put in here earlier today, but for the life of
me I can’t remember what is was.

I heard the song “Sunglasses at night” by Cory Heart today. Every time
I hear that song, I can’t help but to always think of the sunglasses
incident when I was visiting Dave at Western. Most of
you………….ok, all of you don’t know this story, so I will give
you the short version. Western IL is in Macomb. Dave and his roommates
were having a party at the house they shared. There were a lot of
people there, and of course, lots of drinking. Well, there were these
guys that did not get along. One guy was upset because he had lost his
sunglasses (mind you, it was about 11PM, so why he would even have a
need for them at this time). Anywho, he found them in a tree. He
proceeded to blame this other guy, and thats when things got a little
goofy and the accusations started to fly. Girlfriends arguing with girlfriends.
Guys in the faces of other guys. One leaves and says that he is going
to get a baseball bat. Another one says he is going upstairs to get his
gun. Fortunately, cooler heads prevailed and no punches were thrown and
no weapons brought out. Just crazy that  missing sunglasses would lead
to this. On the other hand, had this been Texas, I would have been a
witness in a murder trial.

Speaking of the fucked up wanna be country of Texas, the simpleton,
neanderthals down there have passed a law making it illegal for gays to
adopt foster kids. In fact, and this is the big kicker, as part of this
law, they can investigate people to find out if they are gay. Isn’t all
of this just a tad bit unconstitutional? As if all of this wasn’t bad
enough, some lady went on CNN (I think she was from some organization
in Texas) claiming that according to some study, gay parents are more
likely to sexually abuse the kids. Is anybody else as appalled as I am
about this? There have been a lot of things the past couple of years
that have bothered and really pissed me off about the anti-gay movement
in this country, but this has really pissed me right the fuck off. How
can somebody go on national tv and say something that outrageous? And
its obvious bullshit, based on these people hating gays so much that
they will basically say anything to put fear (the fear
factor………thats a whole different story) into people. And, as Jon
Stewart says, the media…………the pussy, ball-less media does
nothing but allow people to make statements like this on their programs
and networks. Also, the all powerful Microsoft has backed out of
support for an anti gay discrimination bill because the conservatives
threatened to boycott them. First off, Microsoft is the last company
that needs to worry about boycotts, but I digress. I bothers me that
these so-called Christians (and I do say so called, because how can
they call themselves Christians when they have so much hatred for one
group of people) hate gays so much that they OPPOSE  a bill that makes
illegal to discriminate against gays. Again, it goes back to my other
argument from previous posts, the law does not take rights away from
another group of people and give them to gays. Their argument is that
it violates the rights of Christians. How can they sit there and play
the poor little victim here? Its pathetic. And people wonder why I have
such contempt for religion. Hating others is not a Jesus value, it is a
man made feeling. I’m not a Christian, in fact, I have doubts about
God’s existence, (I’m agnostic) but correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t
Jesus and God SUPPOSED to be about love? Of course, I’m preaching to
the choir, here, everybody that reads this blog agrees with
me……….at least, I’m pretty sure, for the most part, they do. But,
if I were an unbiased outsider on this, which I always try to be, their
reasons for being against this anti discrimination bill is not logical
and doesn’t make sense. I try to rationalize and I do generally
understand why that have problems with gays, but for the life of me, I
can’t figure out how they can cry victim here? Please, somebody smarter
than me, enlighten me, or ask a conservative Christian about this.

I spent an hour talking to Dave on the phone tonight. We talked a lot
about cards, since I have a tournament this Saturday. Dave knows more
about cards than anybody else I know. Of course, I have been playing
for years, as has Dave. But, he has read several books on the whole
thing and offered me some facts and tips. Do you know what the 39th
best 2 card hand is in Texas Hold-em? No, its not a 2/7 unsuited. Guess
again, you dumbass if you even think its a 2/9 unsuited. Its actually a
pair of 7s. We talked for such a long time and my cordless was starting
to die, had it not, we could still be on the phone. I swear, cards is
my favorite non-sexual activity. And, in some cases, I like it even
more than sex (it would have to be really really bad sex and I would
have to be winning a LOT  of money) so needless to say, I can’t
wait to play Saturday. This is a bigger game with a higher buy-in then
the normal monthly game, so I want to do better than I normally do.

I think I might have missed some sort of memo that goes out to people
when they become adults, the anti-breakfast memo. I have been talking
about this with people for a few years now, they just don’t eat
breakfast. I got in a conversation with people about this at work today
and a couple of weeks ago with other co-workers about the same topic.
None of them eat breakfast. The same could be said for many of my
friends. And a lot of other former co-workers. People say they don’t
have time to eat, but if any meal is quick, its breakfast, after all,
it even has the word fast in it. I just can’t understand how people
can’t have time. People, you have to make time for 3 square meals a
day. I mean, aren’t you hungry when you wake up? I know I
am……….shit, I have to have my breakfast while reading my sports
section each morning. A lot of people say their stomach can’t handle
food that early in the morning, I don’t see how this makes sense. What
is it about food before, say, 9AM that makes people not feel good. What
is it that happens to them during the night that upsets their stomach?
What, are these people being abducted by aliens and the aliens are
giving them some sorta of anti-breakfast probe? Or perhaps the people
behind dinner are involved in some sort of government conspiracy to get
people not to eat breakfast so that they will have bigger meals during
the day? Maybe they sneak into people’s houses during the night and
drug them. It would make sense for dinner to do something like this,
after all, dinner has got to be jealous, breakfast and lunch fuck like
rabbits, they even have an offspring called brunch. It stands to reason
that dinner might get a tad bit jealous.

Still, I’m a big breakfast guy. I love cereal. Love pancakes
(especially blueberry) and waffles, among many other foods. Why skip
it, its too tasty. And when  people do choose to eat breakfast,
they have the “adult” cereals, such as Cheerios and Corn Flakes. Why
can’t they have Count Chocula or Cocco Puffs, or even Waffle Crisp? Or
Oreo O’s. Because of this bias in favor of the adult cereals and the
lack of more people buying the good stuff, it might kill off some of my
favs. And I will be damned if I’m going to go to a funeral for Count
Chocula. I swear, I don’t know what I would do if there was no more
Count Chocula. Somebody has to put a stop to this anti-breakfast
movement. Is there nothing we can do? And I didn’t even get into Pop
Tarts, which would be even more of a reason to eat breakfast. Pleaes
people, what about the kids? The kids that are counting on people to
support the likes Mr. Chocula or Tucan Sam. All I ask is that you think
of them when your heartless soul wakes up tomorrow and heads straight
for the shower instead of the breakfast table.

Ahhhhh, nothing but wall to wall sports today. The NBA playoffs have
started and for the first time in 7 years, the Bulls are part of them.
Today’s game was nostalgstic (spelling please), it reminded me so much
of the glory days. Sure, I know that if the Bulls manage to win this
series (a tall order with out Curry and Deng) they will lost to Miami,
but it is great to see the excitment in the air. The only problem is
that I no longer have a lot of friends that are into basketball,
whereas back in the day, Rob, Jt and sometimes Mark and Don would
really be into the games. Now, instead of going to a bar or friends
house to watch the games, I just watch them by myself, knowing that my
current friends have little to no interest in the playoffs.

I watched Sideways and Hotel Rwanda this weekend. Sideways was good,
but I can’t understand how it was nominated for Best Picture. I did not
feel it was better than Hotel Rwanda, yet it was nomiated and Hotel
Rwanda was not. Speaking of Hotel Rwanda, it was very good and what the
main character did was amazing. He is a bigger man than me, I never
could have lasted and saved all of those people the way he did.

I got nothing else, people, maybe later in the week I will have something worth reading.

DAMN, MUTHERFUCKING, COCKSUCKING, FUCKING CUBS!!!! Another disgusting
loss today. This might be the season that finally gives me a nervous
breakdown………well, not a real one, that would be a bit much, but
at the very least, if things go on like this, I might not be able to
watch after a while. Of course, the game just ended a short while ago,
so I’m still freshly disappointed.

I went to get my oil changed today. The last time they did it (back in
January) they forgot to put a new sticker on the windsheild reminding
me to get it changed, so I had to guesstimate when to get it changed.
Anywho, they must have seen this, because they thought they would try
to pull a fast one on me. After working on it a few minutes, they came
up to me and said that “the oil is really dirty and kinda thick” (at
least, I think they said thick, I really don’t remember) and started to
ask me when the last time I had it changed. I cut him off and said that
I get it changed regularly and he asked me how many miles since my last
change. I said under 3000 and under 3 months and that I get it changed
here so it should be in their records. This seemed to shut him up. A
few minutes later, he had me walk over to the car (just wanted to say
that I’m still pissed at the Cubs……..FUCKERS) to suggest that I get
the trans fluid changed because I’m over 50,000 miles. I had intially
planned on getting it changed today, but while waiting in line for the
oil change, I looked in my manual and it stated that I do not need to
get it changed unless I drive in heavy traffic or in hot weather,
neither of which I consistantly do. So, I told him I would not get it
changed today. I been going to this jiffy lube for……….well, even
since I had my first car, but this was the first time I felt like they
were trying to take advantage of me. I may not know shit about cars,
but I’m not a fucking idiot, so this pisses me off (pisses me off even
more than the Cubs……….FUCKERES!) because I HATE when people are
not honest with me or try to trick me.

The good thing about Jiffy Lube, is that there are usually at least 2
hot guys that work there. I think its a law, hot guys have to work at
oil change places. This time, there were 3 hotties. After that I went
to Meijer and saw another really hot dude in line. I was suprised to
see that he had a baby with him, probably about a year old, because the
guy was young……….I would say only about 22. The baby was
a-damn-dorable. He kept making faces at me and smiling, so I made faces
back and couldn’t help but laugh.

Ughhhh, that Cubs game tonight was nerve racking………..at least,
the last pitch was. Thats the thing with them having a shit bullpen,
the games can be a bit……..too interesting. Nevertheless, they won
and thats all that matters.

I started that new position today at work. Really, didn’t do much, just
sat with another calltaker all day and watched her take calls.
Actually, I didn’t pay attention to any of it and even dozed off a
couple of times. Most of it is stuff I already know, so it shouldn’t be
that big of a deal.

We also had a chilli day today, which is always cool. Its usually
between $1-2 for a bowl of chilli (which goes towards some sort of
charity) and there are always about 6 or so different types of chilli,
and I usually mix and match them. They were all good, but the funny
thing about chilli is that everybody thinks their own chilli rocks. For
example, did you ever notice that when people are talking about chilli,
they are always talking about how great their own chilli is and how
“you really need to try my chilli” and there is always somebody who
overhears the conversation and they join in bragging about their own
chilli. See, this is how these chilli bake-offs get started. Usually,
they argue about taste and spicyness, and say things like “you aint had
nothing yet until you have tried my chilli. Its so hot, it will make
you fart flames.” This, of course, gets people in a competitive mood,
as everybody always thinks their chilli is the best or the hottest.
Then, everybody brings in their chilli and, what happens? They all
taste just about the same, and nobody is ever able to admit that
somebody else made a chilli that was as good as their own. You are
back at square one, with each person thinking that they make some sort
of superior chilli that everybody loved, when in fact, we all just
wanted something to give us gas so that people would leave us alone for
the rest of the day.

Well, they elected a pope, which is a crushing blow to Liam
(iusedtobeneat on Xanga) in his run at the papancy. This is sad. All
poor little Liam ever wanted to be was pope. Ever since his first
words, papal vacancy, he has dreamed of becoming pope, and now those
dreams are shattered because they selected some dude who will probably
be dead by morning. Its not fair, I tells you. Is there some sort of
rule that you have to believe in God, be straight, and be over the age
of 18 to be pope? No, there are no rules like that, so what is the
frickin’ problem people? What is he going to tell his school chums?
That he wasn’t good enough to be pope? Try telling that to the people
that believed in you, that were sure you were going to win a papal
election in a landslide, and now he has to deal with the shame of
losing out to a guy that has to have his dinner pre-chewed for him. Its
all about division. They just want to create a division among
agnostics. So, he isn’t old enough to vote? So what, that never stopped
that one dude in that one place from becoming king. You know, whats his
name. Now, how can poor Liam look at himself in the mirror and still
believe in himself, when however many cardinals didn’t believe in him
enough for him to beat a guy who slept through the whole voting
process? Its all about the man trying to keep him down. Its because he
was gay that he didn’t win. Well, I got news for the man. When it comes
time to elect a new Dali Lama person, watch out for Liam, because you
won’t be able to hold him down anymore.

Speaking of gay teens, I read an interesting article in the Chicago Tribune today, which I will include right now:

High school teens face a gay T-shirt
showdown

By Jennifer Skalka
Tribune staff reporter
Published April 19,
2005, 8:58 AM CDT

END OF ARTICLE

I find opposition to this rather sad. Once again, why can’t they let us
be. And how can the Christians even claim that their rights are being
violated? Its because they are running out of arguments. Much like the
civil rights battles in the 50s and 60s, when oppostion starts to get
desperate, they start claiming their own rights are being violated,
which is obviously, not true. How can one group of people getting
rights (such as blacks not having to sit at the back of the bus, or
more recently in IL, the anti gay discrimination law) violate the
rights of other people? Its not like we are taking rights away from
straights and giving them to gays. With gay rights such as gay
marriage, gays are being brought on equal ground and straights are NOT
losing anything. So, why should teens wearing shirts that promote
tolerance and togetherness be protested? These damn Christians are so
insecure and fearful of gays, that it is rather sad. But, the mere fact
that they have to resort to saying that their own rights are being
violated is a sign that things just might be starting to turn in our
favor. Lets hope this is the case.

Beanbags tonight, I was partnered with Matt. We sucked. On the other hand, Matt looked REALLY hot tonight. YAY!

Tonight on the way home from work, I was cruising down the road next to
a family in a Cheroke. A kid in the back seat hollered out the window
“My finger is stinky” (at least, this is what I think he
said………..the wind was blowing, I had the radio on, and there was
other traffic) and I quicky shot back “So is mine.” Ahhhh, to be a kid
again, shouting crazy stuff out the window………..wait, I still do
stuff like that.

The other day, I was on hold at work and heard “Heaven” by Warrent.
Man, they have really sunk low. They are now hold music. How pathetic
is that? My company is notorious for having really bad hold music, like
Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, Richard Marx, and New Kids on the Block, among
others. That goes to show you, the quality (or should I say lack of
quality) of our hold music. Customers complain about it all the time.
The thing is, how bad does an artist have to be to become hold music?
Does the odrer go like this: nobody, semi-star, star, superstar,
playing local festivals, burger king commercials, and finally, hold
music, and if you are extremely desperate, judge for American Idol. The
thing is, I never thought Warrant was the right sound for hold music.
For the record, I shamingly admit that I used to be a big Warrant fan
back in the day. I recognize now that they suck a lot (but, somehow, I
still like them………..go figure) shit, when you think about it,
they are downright awful. And yet, here they are, hold music. Of
course, the better question should be, why does our hold music suck so
much? What an embarrassment. What next, Bannanarama? Stevie B.? Winger?
Its only a matter of time before I start hearing Hootie, the Backstreet
Boys, and Hanson as hold music. At least, they all deserve to be hold
music. I think that hold music is sorta like the equivalent of
retirement or social security for this music. Its sorta like the last
step before this music officially dies, only to be heard again in music
hell………karaoke. Its no wonder customers are so pissed when they
finally get to us, they have been forced to listen to “Hangin’ Tough”
or a lame-ass remake of “I think we’re alone now” while they wait to
talk about their issue. One guy even jokeingly  asked me if he
could file a claim because of  getting a headache from the hold
music. I can’t blame him though. I’d be upset too if I kept hearing “We
Built this City” over and over and over and over.

The Cubs are starting a very painful and disturbing trend this year,
the way they are losing. Now, I’m used to heartbreaking or disgusting
losses, but this is fucking ri-damn-diculous. 2 weeks into the season,
and they have already had 4 losses like this. They usually have more
than their share of losses like this, but this is high even for them.
Tonights loss disgusted me, it was so gut-wrenching, and its only
April. I know I might be over-reacting, but I know there is plenty of
time left. I’m not panicking, I’m just disgusted over the way they are
losing. It very disheartening. It has the potential to be a long
season.

Today we had a bbq at my house with Dave. Kelli was supposed to come,
but I think they had a fight and she stood home. Nevertheless, John
made ribs. They were amazing. We actually had a whole feast of food,
corn on the cobb, sweet potatos (I loaded that shit it……….ohhhhh
man, soooooo good) and spinich. Before the food was done, Dave and I
played a little Texas Hold-em tournament, with just a $5 buy-in. We
pretty much went back and forth for quite some time until I started
pulling away. Next thing I knew, I was running away with things and
eventually, I took his ass out. Yay me! I actually beat Dave, if you
can believe that. That was pretty much my day………….that and
watching the Cubs game. It was cool hanging out with Dave, I hadn’t
seen him in……….shit, probably about a month. Really, I got
nothin’ else for today.