Now, its time to write things about the trip that I forgot.

Friday morning I went with Randy to buy ice. Taking advantage of the
situation, it gave me a chance to use indoor pluming. While in the
stall, I noticed the usual and typical writing on walls of the stall. I
have always wondered why people write shit on bathroom stalls and it
occurred to me: bordem. People get bored sitting there with nothing to
do, so they write shit. Think about it, there usually is not writing
over the urinals. Only in the stalls. The thing that is weird though,
is who are these guys that take a pen to the bathroom with them? I
mean, its not like they have a purse with them. This would have to be a
pre-meditated thing. Honestly, who sits there and thinks “oh, I’m gonna
take a shit in a public restroom and this is what I’m going to write on
the stall.” This is the only way the graffiti gets on the wall,
people……..no, guys……….guys think about what they are going to
write the next time they are taking a shit in public. Which, brings the
other disturbing point: they thought about it and the best they could
come up with is “for a good time, call 555 6969″ or “Michelle sucks a
mean dick.” All I know is that if I were planning on leaving something
on a stall for the entertainment of the constipated, I sure as hell
would come up with something better than “I fucked your mom.”

We had some people that camped next to us that were big pricks, almost
as bad as the “WEST SIIIIIDE” assholes that were next to us in ’97. I
don’t mind people being a bit loud or obnoxious, shit, I know we have
been known to be loud in the past, but these people were rather
annoying about it. First of all, they had a dog that they kept yelling
at every 10 minutes and even had the audacity to make comments about
Keith and Heather bringing a baby camping. Ok, I have been going
camping for years and I have seen far more kids and babies camping than
dogs.

I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but Keith and Heather video
taped us going over the last waterfall. It kicks ass! If anybody wants
to see it sometime, let me know, Heather is going to email it to me and
I will attempt to (but probably fail) to download it to my computer.

Overall, the kids were pretty good while we were camping. It was
different with them there, but it still was a lot of fun. I did have a
good time playing with the kids. Also, for Keith, it was as if things
had come full cirlce. This is a tradition in his family, the kids are
always brought to Shotgun Eddy’s. Keith went we he was a kid. His
cousin Scott has been going since he was 7 months old. And now, Nicole
and David went. David kept eating dirt and anything else he could get
his hands on. He also spent a good portion of the weekend tripping over
the same damn tree root. He accidently touched the grill once, but at
least he didn’t know any better. My dumbass tried to get an onion off
of the hot and on grill and managed to burn finger. You would think I
would learn, but a little while later, I grabbed another onion from the
grill, but this time I didn’t burn myself.

I’m trying to think of other things about the trip, but am at a loss. Oh well.

I know this is going to be a long post, so if you skim through it, thats ok, but be sure to read the last paragraph.

I’M BACK, and once again, am very appreciative of indoor pluming. I
guess I should explain that we went on our annual camping/whitewater
rafting trip in Wisconsin this weekend. We left on Thursday. Loading up
the cars here and at Keith and Heather’s house was a bit of a pain, as
it was raining. Actually, it pretty much rained the whole drive up.
Even after we got there, it drizzled on and off for most of the night.
However, once it finally did stop, the weather was perfect. No rain,
low humidity and sunny. Couldn’t ask for it to be any nicer.

First a little background of our trip. Here is link of the campground
http://www.shotguneddy.com/ in case you were curious. My friend Keith,
his grandpa’s cousin owns this place. I have been going up here with
Keith and a bunch of our friends since 1991 (with the exception of 1992
and 2004) and we usually stay on an area of the campground that
is………..not very public, at least until the public area starts to
get filled up. We stay right along the river………in fact, not only
can we hear it and see it from our site, but it is only about 20-25
feet away. Its very pretty and when there is not much noise in the
morning, its great to lay in our tents and just listen to the river
flow. There is, however, an outhouse about 50 feet away. They do try to
keep it smelling as fresh as possible, but sometimes, it can get a
little………..potent, if you know what I mean. Normally, we have a
group of about 10-13 people going, with no kids and none of Keith’s
family (with the exception of his wife, Heather, but, I guess we are
all sort of camping family by now). This trip, however, had Keith &
Heather’s kids, along with his grandparents and aunt (who stood at a
local hotel) and his 18 year old cousin and his cousin’s 3 friends.

So anywho, on with the trip. We hit some traffic on I55 and 294, but
besides that, things went great. We didn’t actually have to stop until
we were about an hour away from arriving. Now, keep in mind, this is
about a 5 1/2 hour drive and we had a 5 year old and 1 year old with
us. Normally, we don’t have kids with us, but have to stop at least
twice. So, all things considered, I think we made great time. We got on
the road after 11………could have been 11:30 for all I know. We
arrived about 4:30ish…………I’m just guessing at this, though, as
I did not look at the clock. They had been nice enough not only to rope
off a rather large area for us, but also raked it and made it look as
nice as a sandtrap. It really pays to have grandpa come up with us!

One thing that was new this year, was right next to the little shack in
which you pay for your raft, there was a map of the world on a board
and people sign it saying where they are from. It looks like Shotgun
Eddy is now world famous! In addition to people around the midwest,
there were people that had come from as far away as England, Germany,
Japan, Australia, Madagascar, China and even Ethopia! I was looking to
add our names to the board and walked up to the shack and asked for a
marker. I looked up on the wall and saw a very familar picture and did
a double take. Hanging on the wall for the whole world to see was a
picture of all of us camping friends from Dave and Kelli’s wedding! How
fucking cool is that! See, back in 2001 when Dave and Kelli got
married, we took a group photo of all of us that go camping together.
Keith and Heather sent a copy to his grandpa’s cousin and they hung it
up in the office!

I’m going to skip a lot of the mundane details of the trip. For
example, Thursday night, Randy and I went to buy wood and make a phone
call. There was a cute guy behind the counter where we got wood. It was
great to get wood while I was buying wood, if you know what I mean.
Anywho, the first night was pretty uneventful, but still fun
nonetheless. When we first arrived, John, Randy and I had all sorts of
issues setting up our tent, or I guess I should call it the
“in-compa-tent”. We have been using this tent for over 10 years, so I
don’t know why this was such a fucking chore.

The next day, we got up about 8ish. We had already decided that if we
were going to raft, it would be on Saturday. We spent most of the day
just relaxing, hanging out and playing horseshoes. Keith’s grandparents
finally arrived about 3:30. Grandpa even played some horsehoes with us.
He asked us who was the worst player (at least among myself, Randy and
Keith) and I answered yes. He said he would play on my team. The first
game started sort of rough. We quickly fell behind 8-0, but grandpa got
his groove and I started to do ok and we won. And won the next game.
Nothing too exciting, but it was fun.

About 9ish, Keith’s aunt (Kim) and cousin (Scott) showed up. His cousin
had 3 friends with him. 2 of the friends were identical twins named
Mike and Matt. They also happened to be identically hot and with great
bodies. There was another friend, Kerry, who was easy on the eyes, but
not nearly as hot as his friends. He is known for doing crazy shit and
even got on MTV because of one of his crazy things. Anywho, I had mixed
feelings about these guys. They were very immature, but were fun and
could still hold good converstations. Also, they brought a glow in the
dark football, which was really cool. It was pitch black out and when
you threw it, all you could see was the ball. I was playing with Mike,
he had on a white shirt which I could only faintly make out. Each time
I threw it in what appeared to be his general direction and he would
throw it back. The problem with this was that we could not see anything
else. For example. I was going for a ball he threw and ran right the
fuck into Scott’s parked car. Still, it didn’t stop us from still
playing. Oh, did I mention I was drunk at the time?

After awhile, we joined everybody else around the fire. The
conversation turned to politics and religon. I was poorly trying to
argue evolution to Mike. Why do I talk politics and religon with people
I just meet.

I skipping ahead now. The next morning, we decided to go rafting. Keith
and Heather were going to take their 5 year old daughter, Nicole, up a
shorter, safer trip. The rest of us (me, John, the twins, Scott and
Kerry) were taking a longer, more challenging trip. When we first got
into the water, it seem as cold as fucking ice, but after we were on
the river for a little bit, it seemed to warm up. The river was packed
with people. The best part about this, is that there were a lot of HOT
guys with their shirts off and very little clothing on, including the
guys I was with. The twins are truley identical, even their stomachs
and chests were identically SMOKIN! Scott………..well, Heather reads
this, so I won’t go into more detail about him, as I’m sure she doesn’t
want to read about that sort of thing. Anywho, back to the trip. I
witnessed what might be to this point in my life, the worst parenting I
have ever seen. Some lady had her 2 underage daugthers on the river
with her. The 3 of them shared a raft and a jug that was filled with
some un-named liquor. The youngest daughter, who I swear could not be
any older then 15, was pretty damn well hammered. She was just chugging
from this jug almost constantly. She was walking……….no,
staggering is the right word………behind the raft that her sister
and mother were in. In fact, she could have falled right the fuck into
the water and they never would have known. What the fuck was her mother
thinking? I mean, mixing alcohol with rafting is never recommended for
anybody, especially a teenager who obviously is not a very experienced
rafter or drinker. It was downright shameful.

The trip down the river was fun as usual. I have done this trip 12
times now and it is still a rush and still a little scary at times.
Because of the lack of rain we have had, the river was quite low and
therefore, we had to do a lot of dragging the raft through some rocks.
In fact, the river was only inches high in some places. After about 4
hours, we finally got to the climax of the trip, which is going over an
8-10 feet waterfall. Upon going over the fall, I screamed out
“evolution” hoping Mike would hear me. Even if he didn’t, it was filmed
by Keith and I have watched the video and I could hear me say it.
Heather is going to email me the clip, so if any of you want to see it
sometime, let me know. Going over the fall, I was in the front of the
raft and John was in the back. He shot forward with his oar in his hand
and whacked my arm with said oar. It hurt like hell for a few minutes
and my arm even went a little numb. Although I don’t have a bruise or
any mark on my arm, it does hurt occasionally, especially when I press
on it. I guess I would say its sorta like when you get a shot, how it
is sore in the area of the shot for a few days.

Later on that night, I was sitting around the fire with the boys (we
had 2 separate fires). Kerry, although a good kid, seems to need some
sorta of lesson on what to ask and not ask a person. For example, he
asked me what I did for a living. I answered him and he asked how much
I make. A little later on, we were discussing sex. He asked me straight
out if I was gay, as John had made a comment the previous night that
peaked their (the boys) curiosity. I told him that he had a lot of
balls asking me the questions he asked me. I then told him yes, I am in
fact, gay (for the record, I never did tell him how much money I make.
Hey, I don’t discuss my finances with anybody, but sex, I will
discuss). This brought on a flood of questions which I was more than
happy to answer. Remember earlier when I said Kerry was going to be on
MTV? Seems he had his 15 minutes of fame because he wore a dress to his
prom and took a gay guy as his date. Kerry (and every one of the boys)
proclaimed to me several times that they were all straight. I do
believe them, but throughout the weekend, they were making some gay
comments and jokes. And, as straight guys are prone to do Kerry was
pretending to be gay. I should have found all of this offensive, and in
a way I did, but I did not let it bother me. I had thought they were
just being immature. Now, during the conversation of my sexuality, I
learned some things about them. They are not homophobic at all.
Although they think being gay is a choice (don’t worry, I defended us)
and are not interested in being gay, they were very open-minded and
accepting of gays. The twins work with gays. They have no problem with
them, which is good to hear and good to see that the next generation
seems to be more open-minded and accepting. Anywho, they continued with
the questions. Questions such as “when did you first realize you were
gay?” “have you ever been attracted to a girl?”, you know, all the
typical questions. One of them asked me when the last time I got
action. All of a sudden, Matt asked me a questions that was about as
far from typical as you could imagine. In fact, it stands as one of the
5 weirdest questions anybody has ever asked me, if not the weirdest. He
asked me of the 4 of them (Matt, Mike, Scott and Kerry), which one was
I most attracted to. Why would he care? I’m pretty sure he is not gay
(maybe bi-curious) and most straight guys I know would never even
consider such a question. Most straight guys not only don’t want a guy
to be attracted to them, but they also don’t even want to take into
account that another guy would find them hot. I asked him why he wanted
to know and he said that it was just like when a girl finds them
attractive, they want to know which one is considered the hottest. I
tried to dodge the question, but he kept asking me. I decided that it
would be ok to answer, so I did, not knowing what type of reaction I
would get. Honestly, they were all fine with it. I had just told them
which ones I found attractive and they didn’t even flinch or move away.
It was great. Even
after that whole conversation, they never treated me any differently or
looked at me in a different light. It felt good to not only be accepted
(not that I really care, I mean, its not like I’m friends with this
guys and will probably never see any of them again), but more
importantly, it gives me hope that people are becoming more open-minded
to gays. Anywho, thats all for now, as there was nothing else too
noteworthy to write about, although to be honest, I will probably write
more tomorrow.

I finally met her today. She is beautiful. So tiny and has an adorable
face. This will  probably be the closest I will come to being a
father, so I plan to cherish this.  When I first got there, Amy
was breast feeding her, but after about 15 minutes, I was able to hold
her. The whole thing was very surreal, I still can’t believe Mark has
successfully reproduced. Mark is a father, that just blows my mind.

Anywho, I will be gone until Sunday, so to keep your interest, please
feel free to read some past posts. I will suggest dates. Feb 13. Feb 9.
October 31. Jan 5. March 28 and 29. April 2. April 11 and 20. And of
course, any other day you might want to read.

My mother always said for one that dies, another’s born. Today at 8:48
in the AM, my niece, Addison Rose Consalvo, was born, exactly 28 years
to the day after her Uncle died. Mark said today was the happiest day
of his life. Wow. Just think about that for a second. Let that sink in.
In nearly 30 years of his life, today was his best moment. How cool is
that? Word can not express how happy I am for he and Amy. Although I
was unable to make it to the hospital today, I will no doubt be there
tomorrow. As for her name, Amy liked the name Addison. Mark was
lukewarm on the name ’til he remembered that 1060 W Addison is the
official address for Wrigley Field, then he was all for it. As for the
middle name, that comes from her grandmother. Its amazing how fate
works. 28 years ago, Mark’s life changed forever, even though he was
not yet 2. 28 years ago, my parents were besides themselves,
practically their whole world had ended, without question, the worst
day of our lives. Today, Mark’s life is forever changed.Today, my
brother is on a high like none other. Life has more purpose and more
meaning then ever before. Everything he will do will be for her. Its
truely a beautiful thing. Except for the dirty diapers and the throwing
up. I don’t envy him there. I know that both of them will make
tremendous parents.

I also can’t help but wonder what lies ahead for Addison. What will her
lifetime hold? What will she accomplish? Today, she can do anything,
for her life is filled with limitless potential. Will she be a Senator
someday? Perhaps she will become a great scientist or doctor. Maybe she
will leave an impact on the world. Of course, everybody wants to
believe that about their child or niece/nephew. More likely she will
quietly and reliably contribute to the world, in the way so many
normal, average people do, and like everybody else, just being an
average person will be vital to the world, as without normal, average
people, the world is really nothing. And what will she see in her
lifetime? A female president? Peace in the middle east? The Cubs
winning the World Series? What tragedies will unfold in her lifetime?
More unneeded wars? An environment that spins out of control leaving
the Earth in irreversible repair? Maybe man will go to Mars? Maybe we
won’t have a choice but to go? Perhaps gay marriage will become legal
and we will truely have equality for everybody. Perhaps Whites, Blacks,
Jews, Muslims, Christians, Atheists, Asians will live together as one.
Maybe some of the social ills that plague society will be overcome.
Perhaps computers will become so high tech that we can just talk and
things will be automatically entered into the computer. Maybe cars will
finally make the big leap that they have been dying to go and start
flying. There is no telling what the world will be like at the end of
her lifetime. Just imagine the possibilities, its exciting,
overwhelming and scary all rolled into one.
 
One thing is for sure, she will be loved like no other. For Roseann,
John and myself, this might be the closest any of us ever come to
having kids. Especially for me. I doubt I will ever have kids,
although, I think I want them. This is my twin brother having a child,
its somewhat like me having a child. Sure, I love my nieces in Denver
with all my heart, but they are 1500 miles away. Addison is the next
town over. I too am excited, so much so that its almost surreal. What a
day, I will never forget what has happened on this day, either in 2005
or 1977.

Oh, and as a little side note, 17 years ago today was the first offical night game in Wrigley Field history.

POP!!!! Did you hear that? That sound was the sound of Amy’s water breaking about an hour ago.

Well, tomorrow is the big day. My brother’s wife shall be induced to
give birth at 7 in the AM. Hopefully, she will give birth at some point
tomorrow.

Each year there comes a point in which I realize the Cubs aren’t going
to go anywhere. I have reached that point. Sure, I really started to
realize it about a week ago, but now, its fairly certain that its over.
Especially since they are getting creamed by the Reds tonight, and not
in a good way. I’m not going to go into a rant about this, but lets
just say, I’m very disappointed.

Here is post from Oct 2, 2004. I’m sure none of you remember this story:

“LAFAYETTE, La. –

A University of Louisiana at Lafayette physics professor was banned
from the campus Wednesday and taken to the coroner’s office for
evaluation after threatening his class, university officials said.

“
I made out Christmas cards tonight. If you don’t get one, it means that
I either don’t have your address or I just don’t give a damn.

I have come up with a scale to rank people’s apperance. This might be mean, but you might also find it funny.

Smokin’: One that is so good looking, cops actually pull them over just
to check them out. They have reached a God-like status in hotness. And
although most people get uglier when they get older, these people tend
to hang on to their good looks.

Hot: Somebody that keeps you up at night having sexual fantasies about them. They have no problem getting tables in resturants.

Cute: One that is just simply adorable. They are not smokin’ or hot,
which is part of their appeal. They usually have great smiles and have
no problem being able to use their looks to get ahead in life.

Ok: One that is easy on the eyes. Sure, they aren’t going to win any
beauty contests, but their looks won’t hurt them either. If everybody
in the world was at least Ok looking, there would be less drinking, and
drug use, as you wouldn’t have to use mind altering drugs to sleep with
them.

Do-able: These are people, like Clay Aiken, that if you really needed
to get laid or were really drunk, you would sleep with them. They are
also know as regrettables, as you normally regret it once you sober up.
Still you can do much much worse.

Ugly: People that are almost painful to look at. Think, Steve Buchemi.
These are the people that their mothers lie and say are “cute in their
own way.”

Fugly: These people are fucking ugly. They are so ugly, that its
offensive. There are countries in the middle east that make laws that
prevent them from showing their faces in public. People occasionally
vomit when seeing these people.

Fucking Fugly: These people are so ugly, their looks incite riots. When
others describe these people, they always start the sentence with “They
have such a great personality.” These people makes others question
their sexuality. Back in the middle ages, they were used in exorcisms
to help fight Satan.”

Last night at the fest, Amy ran into a family she babysits for the
daycare she works at. There was 2 toddler twins and another kid that is
about 3 or 4. Cute kids. The mother is divorced, but she works as a
chemist. She and the children were dressed nice, with the latest
fashions. The stroller she had seemed fairly new. And, she drives a
Hummer. Now, here is what is complete bullshit. She is on some sort of
public aid. The state PAYS for her children’s daycare. She is a fucking
chemist. According to salary.com, the starting base pay for a chemist
is $41,806 a year. Now, since she is  divorced, I can understand
having to
struggle. Perhaps the dad is a loser and doesn’t pay child support. I
can accept that. But, clearly, this lady is not struggling for money.
At the very least, she makes $40,000 a year, hardly somebody that needs
to suck off the taxpayers to make it week to week. She drives a Hummer
and has the latest fashions. So, this is what my hard earned tax
dollars are going towards, so this bitch can ruin the environment by
driving a Hummer! There is something wrong with the system. Too many
people take advantage. You see these people, with nice cars, fasionable
clothes and cell phones living off the fucking government. Ok, where is
my share? Why can’t I live off the government? Oh, I’m sorry, I’ve got
dignity and respect for myself, I would rather EARN my keep. This is
the Republican in me coming out. For the most part, I’m hardcore
liberal. But, when you see this kind of abuse, it flat out pisses me
off. There are people out there that need the govenements help and are
legit. They are single mom’s with deadbeat fathers who struggle
paycheck to paycheck. They work long and hard hours in warehouses only
to come home and turn around and work a 2nd job as a waitress. They are
people that have husbands that are disabled from some bullshit war and
can’t work. They are people that have special needs children who’s care
cost a fortune. They are people with mental illnesses that society shit
on and won’t give them the time of day. They are those who made one
mistake in life and the world won’t give them a second chance.They are
those who are singles mom’s whose husbands were murdered and she is
left to raise the 3 kids. These are the people that need it. The people
who can not get anymore from the government  because of the
others.The others  that drive their Lexus, talk on their cell
phones, play their Play Station 2 and X-Boxes and then cry poor to the
government. These people take advantage of the government. They are a
drain on society and make the world a worse place. They only care about
themselves and not the 10 year old boy in the wheelchair whose constant
care costs $100,000 a year. They are the theives of our society, and
they get away with making a mockery of our public assistance system. My
only question to them, is, how can you sleep at night, knowing that
while you are profiting off the government, some single mother
struggles to stay afloat while her 7 year old daughter dies of cancer
and the other 2 children need mental help because of what they are
going through?
Do these people not have a conscience? Perhaps they are just soul-less
leaches that suck all they can from the government until they have bled
us dry? Perhaps that only care and think about themselves while they
laugh their way through life pointing their ever filled wallets at the
very government that supports their lavish lifestyle. Won’t somebody
stop them? Won’t somebody end this larceny and re-vamp the system so
that it benefits those that really need it?

In continuing with the best of my first year on Xanga, here is a post from Sept 17, 2004:

“I was riding my exercise bike today trying to think of what I could
have for breakfast, when I came up with a very unhealthy but tasty (and
that is the key here, right?) idea: Cookie Crisp, with Hershey’s
Chocolate Syrup! Upon eating, I poured a bowl of Cookie Crisp, and pour
the chocolate syrup over the top of it, then poured the milk, and added
more syrup. Holy shit, it was really really good. Wait til John hears
this idea, he is going to love it. Imagine the possibilities: Chocolate
covered Count Chocula. Smores. Frosted Flakes. Cocco Puffs. Oh, I sure
hope this doesn’t give me diabetes.”

On August 15, I will have been on Xanga for one year. To celebrate this
occasion, I will be posting some of what I feel are my best posts. This
next paragraph is from Aug 22, 2004 and will end when after the quotes,
so, I will be back in normal time after that.

“You know, I just thought of something. Why is it, when people go to rob
a bank, they always walk in and make an announcement “Everybody, this
is a robbery!”. Why do they have to announce it? How bad of a robber
are you, if when you walk in, people don’t know that you are there to
rob the place? When people want to kill people, they don’t shout out
“this is a murder.” Or if somebody is going to commit arson, they don’t
walk up and make an announcement “Listen up everybody, this is an
arson.” Seems to me that one would not want to attract attention to the
illegal activity in which they are performing. Why not just say
“Freeze! Give me all of your money!” I mean, I think people would get
the picture. Instead, they announce the crime in which they are
committing. I just don’t get it.”

Mark arrived at my house for the beanbag tournament at about 4:30ish.
Amy came too. I didn’t know how she would be doing since we had to walk
about a mile to get there, but she seemed fine for somebody that is 9
months pregnant. People say walking helps the baby come. I don’t know
if this is true, but I sure hope it is. John and I are going camping on
Thursday and would like to know if we will have a niece or nephew
before then. GO NEPHEW!!! After all, I already have 2 neices.

The tournament was being held in the beer garden. They had 4 sets of
boxes there, which obviously means 4 games at a time. They had 28
teams, including a lot of the people we used to play with at Mickey’s.
There was also this dude Raul that we went to high school with, he was
alway a fun, happy go lucky guy. We practiced for a while before
starting. The boxes were pretty……….how should I
say……….slippery. The bags seemed to just slide right the fuck off
of them. Still, I did halfway decent while warming up. After warming up
for a while, they assigned us a place to play. Mark and I would be on
the 3rd set, and one of the first teams to play. We were going against
another guy that seemed to be very good, at least when I saw him
practicing. Now, over the course of the last 2 months, I have been very
very very good at beanbags. Not that I’m meaning to brag. Its just that
because I had been playing very well, that was why I wanted to play in
this tournament.

We started off and I was awful. Just like that, we were down 6-0, as
the guy I threw against got 6 quick points. Next, Mark and the other
dude threw. Nothing. Me and the other guy threw and I hit a ringer for
2 points. Mark then got 2 points and we cut the deficit to 6-5. I was
thinking that we just might be ok, in spite of neither Mark or I
playing good. How wrong I was. Mark and I couldn’t hit shit and by the
time we scored again, we were down 15-6. We never got any closer,
losing 21-6. Done. No double elimination. No 2 out of 3. It was one and
done. How disappointing. Mark blamed the boxes for being too slippery.
I say that we just both played like shit and not up to the way I know
we are both capable. After all, our opponent were using the same boxes.
Its not even that they were all that good. We were just awful. Other
games were ending real quick, with scores of like 21-2. It took some
time for them to beat us. If we had just been on a little bit, we could
have given them a run for their money and made it last longer and after
that, who knows, we might have been able to get hot and beat them. As
it stands, we were just bad. Period. Nothing else to say.

Afterwards, we went in search of something to eat. I settled on a
chilli dog from the Doggie Diner. It was an average hot dog, but not
very filling, so I also had walking tacos. For those of you that don’t
know what that its, they take one of those mini bags of Fritos and fill
it with meat, cheese and, well, everything else that would go on a taco
and you eat everything but the bag. It was pretty good.

After eating, we walked around. While walking, we overheard a lady on
her cell phone saying “You are really starting to piss me off right
now, and you have just added another week onto your grounding.” Ahhhhh,
kids. Funny shit.
After a while, we walked home. We got home and John was just leaving,
so we talked him into coming inside and we played some (and I’m not
even going to come close to spelling this, so I’m going to spell it
like it sounds) u-ker. It was the first time I had played. For some
reason, I was very tired and not paying attention at all. I have always
heard that its a lot of fun, but to be honest, it just seemed too
confusing to be fun. I should have paid attention or at least taken
notes, but seeing as I didn’t do either, I spent a lot of time asking
questions. Mark and I were on a team together and we actually won. Too
bad we couldn’t have won at beanbags.

After that, we went to Dairy Queen for iced cream. Yes, I am aware of
the “d” that I added to the word ice. Its there and you can’t do
anything about it. Unless you know my password, you are just going to
have to deal with it. And, if the “d” affects you that much, then you
have bigger issues to deal with.

Anywho, I had some brownie chunk blizzard. Man, that shit was sooooooo
good. And, being Dairy Queen, there is always a cute guy working and
this time was no different. After that, we went to my cousin Tony’s
house for a little while. He actually didn’t say anything rude to me,
but, just in case, I had some comebacks I was going to use on him.
Actually to start off, if he had said anything I was going to take the
high road and just ask him nicely not to say stuff like that anymore.
We will see where that gets me.

Man, fuck the Cubs. Just fuck ‘em! Why am I a Cub fan? Fuck ‘em! Fuck ‘em I say!

Of course, I will still watch them tomorrow. Its part of the disease.

First of all, if I have any spelling or grammer errors, please feel free to point them out…………especially you, Uvon!

We were out at the bar last night playing pool. One thing that amazes
me about playing pool in a bar, is the audacity of people. Well, not
people. Guys to be specific. How, they will just come up to you and ask
you if they can play with us. What is it about pool that makes guys
ignore all manners and common etiquette. Allow me to explain. See, the
way I see it, is, we are paying customers of a product, which, in
theory, is just like every other product. For example, if you were at a
resturant, it would be rude for somebody to come up to you while you
were eating and say “hey, that burger looks good, can I get a bite.”
Or, how about in the shower at the health club “Your water is already
hot, mind if I jump in this shower with you.” When you buy a car,
people don’t ask you if they can come along for the test drive. At a
baseball game, if somebody asked you to share your seat with him, he
could be kicked out. And just picture the scene if a stranger wanted to
share a hospital bed with you. It doesn’t make sense, I tells you.
Shit, I play darts at the same bar. In fact, I have been playing darts
at several bars for years, and nobody has ever asked if they could play
darts with us. Yet, with pool, its like a pissing
contest…………..kinda way to prove your masculinity or to show
that you have got a bigger cock then the next guy. Of course, it could
just be about money and hustling people. Still, it doesn’t excuse the
fact that we are paying customers. And, if we were to play these guys
and lose, they would automatically think they get the table. Which, of
course, is not true, since we are paying for it (nevermind the fact
that this bartender at the bar loves us and doesn’t charge us, these
other fucks don’t know that) and its not like they are going to give us
money for the table. The funny part, is that in this world of
mis-guided manners, if we turn them down to play with us, we are
subjected to dirty looks from across the bar, or they send there
friends over there to ask if they can play. Or, they keep coming up
trying to make conversation. If you are at a funeral and see that the
corpse next to you has a nicer casket, you aren’t going to spend the
rest of the night trying to get said casket, are you? Of course
not…………you would be dead and whole the hell cares what casket
you are in. Still you understand my point. I don’t come up to you to
ask for a sip of your suck ass Old Style, why should you come up to me
to ask to play with us?

So, I heard that they have come out with some sort of device that
allows one to talk on a cell phone underwater. Ok, are there no places
left in which one can get AWAY from a cell phone? If I’m ever swimming
and I’m underwater and the dude next to me is on a cell phone, I’m
going to flip out………..and then ask him to call 911 because I
can’t swim. But, rest assured that the first thing I’m going to do
after the paramedics revive me, is to walk over there and make the back
of his swim trunks have a larger bulge than the front. If you can’t
pull yourself away from your cell phone to go for a swim for 45
minutes, then you need to receive a serious and thorough beatdown. I
have seen or heard people talk on cell phones while driving, while
walking (everywhere……at work, on the street, in every buiding
possible), while eating, while at a sporting event, while on the toilet
, while at a stall, and while doing just about everything else. For
those of us that are non cell phone people, this is very annoying. Now,
I have no problem with cell phones per say. Its just how people use
them. I hate being out with somebody and they spend 10 minutes on a
cell phone right in front of me. Ever heard of calling back? Its real
easy, you just press a few buttons, sometimes as few as 7. And, the
reasons why people use them. A guy is at the store and you see him
standing in front of the toilet paper and he has to call his wife “hon,
I’m virtually incapable of making a decsion without you, do we use 1 or
2 ply TP?”. For the most part, cell phones are just leaches. Sure, they
come in handy when you car breaks down or when trying to meet somebody
at a large public event, but do you really need to call somebody to
tell them that your favorite soap opera star is on the cover of a
tabloid with her upper lip unwaxed?

Wow, I am on quite the rant tonight. Its the Cubs fault. I blame them
because I’ve just about offically given up on this season. Fuckers.

Went to see the fireworks tonight that our town has every year this
weekend………..on both Friday and Sunday night. Practically the
whole town comes out for this. And, the best part about it, is that its
within walking distance of my house…………..screw you, traffic!
Anywho, it just makes me see how……..er………..trashy my town is.
Sure, I’d like to think its a nice little town, but the reality is that
we have got a lot of…………how do I put this
nicely………..people in the same vein as Cletus from the Simpsons.
Or, other people that are your typical NASCAR fan. Illinios may be a
blue state, but something tells me Romeoville is pretty damn
Republican. Sure, our fireworks are always great, I’d like to think
ours are among the best in the state, even better than the Taste of
Chicago fireworks, but the rest of the fest is sorta…………well,
trashy. That being said, Mark and I are still going to compete in a
beanbag tournament there tomorrow. WOOOHHOOOO!!!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050803/ap_on_re_us/gay_marriage_cherokees

I just wish the rest of the country had judges that thought this way.
Honestly, how does 2 people of the same sex  getting married harm
anybody else? The fact is, it doesn’t. You all know how I feel about
this, so I don’t feel the need to say anything else about it, as I have
beaten it to death.

I was watching a fly today, just sitting there, rubbing his legs
together, repeatly (yes, I have no life, so much to the point that I
sit and watch flies…..I was watching the Cubs game at the
time).  Why just keeping rubbing the legs together? Almost like he
has obsessive compulsive disorder. What the hell? This of coures, begs
the question, do animals suffer from the same disorders that humans do?
I mean, I know people in Hollywood take their pets to shrinks. But,
what about stuff like claustrophobia? Or fear of heights? Could you
even imagine how neurotic a bird would be if it had a fear of heights?
They say fears such as those are irrational and animals do not have
rational thought, but could, say, a flamingo be afraid of spiders?
Also, can animals get drunk? What if somehow they ingested drugs? I
mean, they would have to unintentionally ingest drugs, you know, sorta
like how Rafael Palmiero unknowingly took steroids (see, this is why I
don’t believe him or any any baseball player that says they didn’t
knowingly do steriods, after all, that would mean that they have about
as much brains as a racoon, who ingests shit without stopping to look
at what is being put into their bodys). I’m sure some of you people
have gotten pets drunk or blown your doobie’s into the face of your
bird. This is where we have reader participation. After all this is
free entertainment for you, the lest you can do is give me some sorta
of useful info. Ok, so animals being intoxicated can’t ever be useful,
but participation is the key!

As for the aforementioned Rafael Palmeiro, he is officially a
laughingstock……….if only this top 10 list were actually funny.

Top Ten Rafael Palmeiro Excuses