Its springtime in Chicago and that could only mean fucking stupid
motherfucking construction. As the saying goes, there are 2 seasons in
Chicago, winter and construction. Today, there was “fake” construction
on Rt 59. In other words, there was an arrow and signs but nobody was
working. This, of course, caused a delay. Now, if the lack of workers
is not maddening enough, this was in a lane that wasn’t even there.
Allow me to explain. At Rt 59 and 95th st, Rt 59 expands from 2 lanes
to 3 lanes. Let me make one thing clear, its not that they are just
making this lane, this lane has been there for years. That extra lane
is the lane that is closed, causing a
back-up for, I don’t know, a mile or so. What makes no sense is that
the lane is CLOSED before you get to it, so therefore, it shouldn’t
cause a back up. Shit, we have been driving down this road with only 2
lanes for miles and miles, it should not make a difference that this
lane is not available. To add more to the fucked up situation, there is
one of those large arrows (you know what I’m talking about) followed by
a couple of orange construction horses. I’m not kidding or exaggerating
when I say that the lane is closed for all of about 30 feet. So, let me
just get this straight. They are “not” working on a lane that isn’t
even there for about the length of a first down causing traffic to be
backed up for a mile.

Try to follow this. My uncle’s (mom’s brother Freddie, I wrote about
his wake last week) first wife’s sister died and therefore, we have to
go to the wake tomorrow. Should be reasonably sane, after all, this is
not actually a member of my mother’s family that has died, so things
should be ok, especially since my mother’s brothers won’t be there.

That’s all for now, people.

Oh people………..sometimes, they just are so clueless. Check out
this conversation I had with some chick on yahoo just minutes ago:

heybabywannafukme345: hii… anyone there?
heckels97: yes
heckels97: yes i am
heybabywannafukme345: oh your there  hii… 
heckels97: hi!!!
heybabywannafukme345: a/s/l (age sex  location)?
heckels97: you first
heybabywannafukme345: im 27/f/USA. was lookin at your profile. thought you might like tto chat.  
heckels97: sure
heybabywannafukme345: so what have you been up to heckrls97?
heckels97: nothing
heckels97: what part of the us are you in?
heybabywannafukme345: cool. i was just hangin out watching tv. i was getting kinda hornyy  (*blushes)
heckels97: i see
heybabywannafukme345: feel like a  little cyber fun with me ?  please please…
heckels97: actually……….im the kind of dude that likes other dudes
heybabywannafukme345: i think ill just take that as a yes… being aas that im starting to get real horny here.. lol ok?
heckels97: haha
heybabywannafukme345: alright  how bout i get down on my knees in frnt of you and help you out of your pants?
heckels97: well, thats not going to do much for me, unless of course you have a dick i can suck on
heybabywannafukme345: i wish i could feel you ease your hard rod into
mytight wet pussy.. back and forth slowly and the ram it hard and deep
all the way in  
heckels97: hmmmmm
heckels97: did i mention that i was gay?
heybabywannafukme345: tell me what you want me to do with you while i slip out of my pantiies
heybabywannafukme345: ohh your gay.. lol.. ok cya
heckels97: lol
heckels97: sorry

Is it just me or was she a little too occupied with her pussy to stop
to realize what I was saying to her. I could have said anything to her
and she would have still continued on. Shit, I could have started
talking about Eastern European national anthems and she would have
rolled with it. I could have said something like “I’m good, but I’m
thinking about killing a family of 4″ and she would have probably
started inserting something. Some people are just so self-involved and
oblivious to the world around them.

Last night I played cards at Mark’s house. I had to pick up Dave, who,
of course, was not ready to go when I arrived. That being said, I only
had to wait for him for about 5-10 minutes. We got to Mark’s house and
Scott and band teacher Jeff were already there. Mark told me that he
would not be able to come over and watch the Cubs game today. I asked
him why and he said “because we are going to the game.” I said “oh.
well that’s ok. Who are you going to the game with?” and he said “Me
and you!!!!” WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!! I was pretty excited about it. As
for the card games, we had 8 people and in the first game, I started
off ok but lost a big pot to Mark. This put me down severely. I kept
battling back until I was almost chip leader. I wound up 4th, one spot
out of the money. As for the 2nd game, we had 6 people and I started
off very good and was rolling before cooling off and finishing 4th, 2
spots out of money.

I got up this morning shortly after 10 in the AM. I walked outside and
got the paper and saw that although it was chilly, there was not a
cloud in the sky. Doesn’t matter, though, its always colder at the
park, especially if we are in the shade. Mark arrived at 11:20ish and
we were off to the game. I have been to dozens of Cubs games over the
years, but I still get very excited about going, just like the first
time I went. The night before a game, I’m all giddy and can’t wait to
get to bed so that I can get up and go to the game. Each time as we
approach the park, I get anxious and excited and start looking for the
park. I know its sorta cheesy, but what can I say? We had some issues
finding parking, but settled on a place very close to the ballpark that
cost $25. Mark got out and said “ahhhh, its not that cold out here.” I
replied “its misleading. Sure, its not cold here, but inside the park
its going to be frigid.” We walked along the outside of the park under
the new bleacher section. Looks good. The best new feature is what is
know as a knothole, its an open window that is under the right field
bleachers that allows you to see from the street all the way into the
park, even home plate, for free. Its great. We walked in the park and
got our 2006 magnet schedule. I have a lot of old Cubs magnet
schedules, and I proudly place them on my fridge like a badge of honor.

Before heading to our seats, we grabbed some hot chocolate. We walked
up the ramp and saw we had some great seats, pretty much right behind
home plate but about 40 rows back. Great view. The big problem is that
we were completely in the shade. Oh, and there was a STIFF 20mph wind
howling directly in, smacking us directly in the face. And, since it
was only about 40 degrees out, this made for a VERY chilly afternoon.
In fact, it was almost brutal. No, correct that, when the wind gust, it
was brutal. Every now and then the wind would die down and it was
tolerable. But, when that wind was blowing, I was miserable. I hope
someday, my many games of freezing my ass off in early April pays off
with a World Series title.

The game was great and very close. Fortunately, it was a quickly played
game. The Cubs fell behind 2-0 to the Cardinals in the 6th inning, but
managed to actually comeback on Michael Barrett’s 2 run homer in the
7th and took the lead on Derek Lee’s solo homerun in the 8th. The funny
part is that with the wind blowing in as hard as it was, Mark and I
both said throughout the game that nobody would be hitting a homer
today, this of course, was not true. Ryan Dempster came on in the 9th
to shut the door and the Cubs won!!! WOOOOOOHOOOOO!!!!  They
played “Go Cubs Go” over the PA system and we along with thousands of
others in the park sang along like a bunch of dorks. I know its still
early, but I’m excited, I like the way they have played so far.

 Have you all heard about the whole Rep. Cynthia McKinney’s (Democrat from Georgia) run-in with a Capitol Police officer at the Capital Building in Washington? I guess we should not be surprised that she is playing the damn race card, but fuck, she is embarrassing herself. Sometimes, its not all about race. She is not denying what happened, just saying its all about race. Lets just say for a second that it was about race, she still got physical with him, which is not acceptable any time, even if she is a member of Congress. To be honest, though, it probably wasn’t a racial issue. I’m sure lots of minorities go into the Capital Building everyday, why would she be the one to be picked out and why that day? It just doesn’t make sense for it to be a racial issue. Sometimes, its more about security than race. I have to be honest, I don’t know the whole story, I haven’t been following this until now. All I know is that she seems nuts, and this picture of her crazy hair doesn’t help her:

Now, I know some people might imply that making fun of a black person because of her hair is racist, but honestly, look at that thing? I guess technically, its an afro. But, it is one of the most disorganized and messy afro’s I have ever seen, even more messy than Ben Wallace (plays for the hated Pistons). She is a member of Congress, she should look a little more professional.

I called Paul to invite him to play cards at Mark’s house on Friday, we talked for over an hour. This was the first time he and I have spoken on the phone and we are both talkers and share the same political beliefs. He, however, just might be more liberal than me and he is a conspiracy theorist. Fuck, though, he is so damn smart and is a better and more articulate arguer than I am, not that I was arguing with him because we agree on so much. I’m just saying if somebody had judged Paul by his looks, you would never believe he was as smart and as articulate as he actually is.

I feel like I need to come up with a funny post, but have not had time or the thought for it in a while. I will come up with something soon enough, I’m sure.

Big news people, the Simpsons movie is FINALLY going to come out, July
27, 2007!!! I’m gonna take the day off work. Its going to be one of the
most anticipated movies of all time. Shit, they have been talking about
this thing since I was in high school.

As if we needed even more proof that George W Bush is one of the worst
president’s in American history, I read in the Chicago Tribune today
that for more than half of his first term, the Intelligence Oversight
Board had no members because Bush did not appoint ANYONE to it. Now, I
don’t know enough about what the Board does, but something tells me
this is a pretty important board, especially in this day and age. What
is so frustrating and just like everything else he fucks up, he will be
allowed to get away with it. Sure, it will be a story for a couple of
weeks, but soon, it will go away and be forgotten because the Democrats
are too pussy to do anything about it and the media is too scared of
the President to investigate it any further. Bush’s presidency is now
way past the point of being bad, its even well past the point in which
his incompetence is a danger to the country. Still, it is amazing that
each week, there seems to be something else that comes along and is a
black eye on his presidency. And I don’t want to hear the right saying
that this is the liberal media only pointing out his negative, I read
this in the Chicago Tribune for Shit’s sake, a very Republican
newspaper. Impeachment is a great idea, but probably won’t happen (at
least not until the Dems take back Congress) but what about a recall
election? Shit, remember in California a few years ago when their gov
was losing support and they had a recall election? Well, why not do
that for the president?

So, with that, I will leave you all with a funny Top 10 list I saw on Letterman

Top Ten Things Overheard During George W. Bush’s Trip
To Cancun

Last night was a card game at Scott’s. I played like shit. For some
reason I couldn’t concentrate. Still, I didn’t do as bad as Sean (the
guy that sold me the Bulls tickets) who missed the first game, showed
up for the second game and went all in on the first hand, lost and left
shortly thereafter. This is the same guy that recently took part in an
85 player tournament in Vegas recently and finished 2nd. Because I was
out so early in the first game, Paul done did learn me how to play
chess. Ahhhh, I love talking like a fucking Southerner sometimes. We
didn’t even get to play a whole game, in fact, by the time he had
showed me everything and we had each taken a couple of turns, we were
ready to play another game of cards. But, I’m interested in learning
more about chess, I could see how fun that could be (although, watching
hours and hours of televised chess might be a bit much).

Last month I wrote how a bunch of us that play cards think Scott is a
closet homosexual. Well, last night he said something that really gave
him away. Somebody mentioned something about gay porn and he responded
“Hey, I don’t watch much gay porn.” And we all just laughed and said
“much”? And I could see he was stunned but his quick defense was “well,
sometimes I accidentally click on it.” Yeah, ummhmm, sure. After he was
out of the room we all talked about it again (I know…………its bad
how we all talk about it when he leaves the room, but shit………I
dunno) and I said that he is a mid life crisis away from coming out of
the closet. See, another thing is that Scott has got major anger
management issues. In fact, when he was eliminated from the first game,
he yelled at everybody, pushed his chips in and ran off. I think this
all ties in with his suppressed homosexuality.

After the game, I headed to Keith’s, since all the chicks were at
Chris’s bachelorette party, the guys were hanging out at Keith’s. And
by all the guys, I mean John, Scooty, Jt and Keith. They were doing one
of the nerdiest things, playing Lord of the Rings Risk. But, who the
hell am I to talk, I love Risk. I arrived and like a waiter taking an
order, was instantly dispatched on a fucking run for the damn boarder.
And I mean instant, I wasn’t even there for 5 minutes when they asked
me to go to Taco Bell. After they got done playing (it was close to 3
in the AM after the time change) John left and the rest of us sat
around talking to Scooty about his impending wedding. After a while,
the 4 of us played a quick $5 game of Texas Hold-em. Yes, that’s right,
I played cards with Jt. And lost. Fucker.

Tomorrow is one of my favorite days of the year, opening day. Even
though I know the Cubs probably won’t do much, I’m so giddy and excited
just like I am every other year I have been watching baseball. I think
the one good thing about the White Sox winning the World Series is that
it, in a weird way, it provides us Cub fans with hope. Shit, if the
White Sox and Red Sox can both win it all, then why not the Cubs? Last
year at this time, (04/04/05 post) I wrote that the White Sox were a
better team than the Cubs and that the Sox would contend, but miss the
playoffs. I also said the Yanks and Red Sox would meet in the playoffs
with Boston winning. Of course, I was wrong. This year, I’d hate to say
it, but I think the White Sox have a great chance to repeat. If the
Cubs can stay healthy (and that is a big if and probably not going to
happen) they can not only contend, but if they make the playoffs they
have as good a chance as anybody to win it. I think the Brewers will be
the surprise team, which sucks because I hate them. They are a team
that can come out of nowhere. If I had to go out on a limb, I would say
the Oakland A’s will beat the Philadelpia Phillies in the World Series.
How’s that for a World Series pick? Of course, most of you don’t really
give a shit, but what can I say, its my Xanga!

Its been an interesting couple of days. Last night I met a girl who’s
soon to be ex husband not only works at my job, but also graduated high
school with me. I didn’t really know him in high school and I have
never even spoken to him at work. But, fuck, what a small world. One of
his best friends is another guy I went to school with who I long
suspected of being gay and as it turns out, he is sorta bi. I was
always very attracted to him, now if only he wasn’t a coke addict.

Today at work, we got our long awaited bonuses. My bonus was very good,
but to be honest, I expected that much or close to it. We were told a
couple of months ago we would be getting a bonus in February or March
and to be honest, I was started to get worried that we would not get
it. This led to a rather embarrassing moment in front a the guy that is
our equivalent of president. As we were talking about bonus, I said
“I’m
so going to go to the track this weekend” just as Mr president dude and
his kid walked by. He quickly said “no, don’t do that” to which I
responded “no, of course not, I’m not going to go” which is the
truth………..at least for this weekend. Also at work, there is this
guy that I have been very attracted to since he started over a year
ago. He is on a different floor in a different department and to be
honest, I don’t see him too often. Well, today his mistook me for
another FLAMMING gay guy in my department. I don’t know if this is good
or bad. See, its bad because he didn’t know who I am. On the other
hand, he might have thought I was gay, which is good if he is gay
(which, I’m about 96.35874523% convinced he is straight). The thing is,
I’m not a flammer in the least, in fact, for lack of a better term, I’m
pretty damn straight acting (I hate that term).

To celebrate our bonus, we ordered pizza from Giordano’s today. The
whole thing was my idea and I got 8 other people in on it. Now, being a
call center we have scheduled lunches which we have to follow. So, I
always try to order the pizza so that in arrives in between people’s
lunches. People wanted to order at 11 in the AM, but I talked them into
ordering at 11:30, with the hope that the pizza would be here right
about 12:30. They told us 60-75 minutes, which is reasonable especially
since one of the pizzas was a deep dish pizza (if you don’t live in
Chicago, well, you are missing out). By 12:45, people were getting
antsy, so one of my co-workers called the pizza joint at 12:50PM. They
said it would be 15 minutes. Ok, I can live with that………a little
late, but still reasonable. I went to lunch at 1PM and called them at
1:10. Instantly I was placed on hold. After 5 minutes, the dude came
back to the phone and was very apologetic about the wait for the pizza.
I calmly asked him what he could do about it and he said “it should be
here any minute and we are terribly sorry about this, it will be on the
house.” That was much more then I expected since it was $40 worth of
food. He explained that they had a driver that had worked there for 5
years not show up to work today. I felt bad about all of this, because
the whole pizza thing was my idea and I talked my co-workers into
ordering later then they wanted. All of them kept asking me where the
pizza was and I just didn’t have an answer for them. Finally at 1:40PM,
with 5 minutes left on my lunch, no, the pizza didn’t arrive, but
instead, I called AGAIN and although still calm, I was frustrated and
told the dude to be realistic with me and honest and tell me how long
it would be. He called the driver and he said he was about 4-5 minutes
away. Finally, at 1:50, a full 2 hours and 20 minutes after
placing the order, the pizza arrived. I walked to the reception desk
and gave the driver a $10 tip and took our now free food back to our
desks to eat it. I know what you must be thinking, why give a driver
that was over an hour late a tip. Well, all I can say is that it wasn’t
his fault that the other driver quit and he probably had been getting
verbally abused by every person he delivered pizza to. My co workers
and I all agreed that he deserved a tip and we all agreed to give him
$1 each. Shit, we are all in customer service, so we know what its like
to be verbally beat up by customers due to things that are out of our
control. Plust, it also helps that we all had gotten our bonuses today
and were all in pretty good moods. And, we all agreed that we would
still order from Giordano’s again sometime. I can forgive them, after
all, its pretty damn hard to stay mad at Giordano’s.