May 20, 2006

• I saw the year’s most controversial movie tonight, The DaVinci Code.
  For those of you that don’t know the premise of the movie, DaVinci hid
  a bunch of secrets in his paintings and artwork, such as a killer
  recipe for key lime pie, the combination to his hope chest, and his ATM
  pin number and in the movie, Tom Hanks runs around Europe trying to get
  this info so he can make a pie for his daughter’s graduation party. In
  addition, the movie and book (I’m going to give away the most
  controversial thing in the movie and book, so if you don’t know, shame
  on you for sleeping through the news the past 3 fucking years) also
  says that Jesus Christ was married to Mary Magdallen and they made
  whoopie and he knocked her up. Quite frankly, I don’t understand the
  controversy here, would it be so bad if Jesus was married? Hardcore
  Christians and Catholics are saying they don’t like the way Jesus was
  portrayed, but honestly, its not like they are saying he killed people
  or that he raped little boys……….I mean, he was a Jew, not a
  priest. Basically, all it is saying is that he was married and had
  kids. What is so bad about that? Also, its not saying that he wasn’t
  the son of God or a Savior and its not even saying there was no God. So
  what do Catholics and other Christians do? They try banning it and
  telling people not to see it, because we all know how much people
  followed the Catholic Church when it came to divorce and pre marital
  sex. When will they learn, that tell people NOT to do something just
  doesn’t fucking work. Jesus, for shit’s sake, can they honestly be that
  fucking stupid? Then again, I guess they can……….it is the
  Catholic Church we are talking about here. But, I should be fair, lets
  examine and compare and you can judge for yourself what makes more
  sense and is more believable.

  Christianity believes: Jesus born by immaculate conception
  Non believers believe: Every person that has ever been born has come
  from a sperm and an egg and some sort of sexual contact or test tube.
  Christians: Jesus walked on water
  Non: Jesus sank to the bottom until a lifeguard dove in and gave him mouth to mouth to resuscitate him
  Christians: Jesus turned water into wine
  Non: Spend all of their days trying to turn water into some form of alcohol, believing that it has never been done before.
  Christians: Believe Jesus could heal people
  Non: Believe that riding a shopping cart down a flight of stairs was a
  bad idea and nobody in the history of the world could have ever healed
  their broken pelvis and torn scrotum.
  Christians: Believe Jesus died and came back 3 days later
  Non: Believe the greatest comeback of all time was Travolta and it was
  only his career that was dead, certainly nobody has ever came back
  after being dead for 3 days.
  Christians: Believe that Jesus was never married and Mary Magdallen was just a prostitute that stalked him.
  Non: Believe that no straight man would not have “hit that shit”. If he didn’t, than he was gay and she was just his fag hag.

  Now, I want you to make an honest assessment and tell me which is more
  believable. Do you suspend all logic and reason and go just based on
  faith alone or do you use common sense and blasphemy to say that Jesus
  was human and not the son of God? You all already know my thoughts, and
  if you don’t, then you haven’t been paying attention to many of my
  previous posts.

  • 12:57 am
  • 1 Comment