May 29, 2006

• Saturday during the day I didn’t do anything during the day but watch
  the Cubs game and talk to my cousin, she told me the whole story about
  the 2 times she cheated on her lame husband. She eventually left her
  husband for the loser ass that is her current husband. Now, I’m not
  going to defend her for cheating on her husband, but he was quite a
  fucking bore, all he did was sit home and watch tv all day long (he was
  on disability and could not work). She said some days, the only time
  she talked to him was when she said good morning and good night. That,
  my friends, is not much of a marriage. Anywho, later that night, I went
  over to Mark’s house for a burn. He finally met his neighbor who had
  moved in about a year ago. He is a happy go lucky guy who kinda looks
  like Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano. He came over with his wife and
  adorable 18 month old daughter and gave Mark a bottle of tequila which
  he got in Mexico. Now, keep in mind it was about 9 in the PM and he
  told us he had been outside and drinking since 10AM! Fuck. Needless to
  say, he didn’t stay too long and staggered his way home about 10. His
  daughter had to be one of the happiest toddlers I had ever seen, she
  was constantly smiling and laughing.

  Amy’s sister Mandy was there too. Mandy lives in Florida and had broken
  her foot in February. Now, here is the fucked up part. She was standing
  on her counter painting and fell and broke her foot so bad, that the
  bone came through the skin. It’s important that you remember this
  happened in February and this is the end of May. Her bone is still out
  of the skin, for some reason, her dumb as fuck doctor, who must be Dr
  Nick from the Simpsons,  has not done surgery on the foot yet. I
  was even able to see the bone, it looks just like a scab, except that
  it is leaking bone marrow. And yet he wont put her fucking bone back
  into her foot. Oh, and also, her Achilles heel has moved and needs to
  be put back into place. Of course, she has yet to go for a second opinion, but fuck this doctor is a fucking dumbass.

  Yesterday, we had to help Randy’s mother move. John and I arrived at
  her old apartment about 10:20 in the AM. She didn’t have much stuff and
  honestly, we were all packed up by 11 at which time we headed to the
  new place. Unloading was even quicker, we were done within about 20
  minutes. His mother then gave us $50 each for what amounted to under 2
  hours of work.

  After heading home to shower, we met Randy and his wife Cathy, Scooty
  and Chris and Keith and Heather to watch X-Men 3. The kid that sold us
  the ticket was a complete flammer, although he was kinda cute to be
  honest. As for the movie itself, it was good, and there probably
  doesn’t need to be another one. After that, we headed to Scooty’s place
  to hang out. First, though, we stopped and grabbed something to eat at
  some sub place in Plainfield. I had an Italian sub which totally
  fucking rocked! WOOOOHOOOO!!! We arrived at Scooty’s shortly after 6
  and played some beanbags. Chris brought out some bubbles which I spent
  the better part of an half hour blowing them. I love blowing bubbles!!!
  I mean, who doesn’t like bubbles? You would have to be evil if you
  didn’t like bubbles.

  After beanbags, we played Uno and Rummy. Chris didn’t know how to play,
  so we quickly gave her a lesson. At first, she started off bad and was
  very bitchy about it. She told us that she was not a good loser, which
  I guess is why her 11 year old son is such a poor sport. Scooty jumped
  out to a huge lead but we all came back and eventually, Scooty finished
  in last and Chris won. Oh, shit, I just realized, Chris’s name is
  spelled with a “K”. Everybody pretend that I had been writing her name
  with a “K” the whole time.

  Today was baseball and a bbq back at our place. As for baseball, we
  showed up right about 12:30PM and after hitting around for what seemed
  like forever, we picked teams and got started. I had a solid team which
  included Rene’s shirtless son Tony, Jt’s asshole friend Dan, Dan’s baby
  friend Ted (he is a baby because he lost in cards and threw his chips
  at Dave………then again, Dave does have a way) who looked like the
  lead singer of Fallout Boy. Later in the game, he confirmed baby status
  by missing a flyball and throw his glove on the ground and yelling and
  bitching. I guess he has what is called an anger problem. The best part
  of the game for me was when Mark hit a ball to right field and I ran
  what seemed to be about an hour before I finally got to it and stuck my
  hand out and somehow, the ball landed in the glove. I love the fact
  that I miss every other fly ball hit to me except for when Mark hits it
  to me. As for other parts of the game, Keith, who is not known for
  being strong, actually hit a home run to dead center, and it was not a
  cheapy at all, it cleared the fence by at least 10 feet. I think he is
  on ‘roids. Or just Icehouse.

  After the game, we came back home and played bags before it started
  pouring out. We had to bbq in the garage, but everything worked out
  well, including some kick ass steak burgers Keith and Heather brought.
  After it stopped raining, we played beanbags again and Dave and I
  kicked complete and utter ass, winning each game we played. Well, I
  have shit to do, so that’s all for now. Hope you all had a great
  weekend.

  • 9:55 pm
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