June 28, 2006

• I’m beginning to think there is an outside chance that the Cubs might
  not win the World Series this year. Just an outside chance.

  Tell me something, am I missing the boat on something? Why does it
  always take people a long time to get out of their cars? I mean, its
  one thing if you have kids, but these are people that do not have
  kids……………at least, not with them. You see them park the damn
  car, then they sit in there and fidget around for 38 or 39 minutes
  before finally getting out of the vehicle. Its maddening I tells you.
  They can’t possibly be getting dressed, I mean, they really should have
  done that before leaving the house. Me, I park the car and BOOM! get
  right of the car and start heading into whatever structure I happen to
  be going to. Other people, they have to hide shit all throughout the
  car, like they are hiding drugs or something. You see them lean over
  and open the glove box, than they are feeling around under the seat,
  next they are looking around in the compartment between the seats and
  then rubbing the damn ceiling. What the fuck man? They are moving
  around
  so much in the parked car that its like they are getting ready to steal
  it. Dude, its your car, you don’t have to steal it. And next thing you
  know, they are getting out of the car with a couple of book bags. Mind
  you, these aren’t students, these are older people (don’t bother
  pointing out that older people go to school too, I already know that).
  They are carrying enough shit to officially qualify as luggage, almost
  like their spouse has given them the boot for sleeping with the
  babysitter or gardener. Seems to me that back in the day, people just
  parked and went, there was no fooling around with anything. Nowadays,
  people shift around and take so many things, its enough to make you
  wonder if they are obsessive compulsive or something like that. Its
  downright crazy. Just park the damn car and move, no need to waste all
  that time doing meaningless things, like putting the car in park. Shit,
  just let it keep rolling, eventually it will hit something and stop. Do
  you people even realize how much time you are wasting? After all, you
  could be inside, discussing last night’s episode of  “Who Wants To Have Their Parents Deported?”

  Today I had some really really hot shit from the Panda Express. Wait,
  was it the Panda Express? For the purpose of this story, it was. It was
  good, but shit, this had to be the spiciest shit I have ever eaten, and
  I love spicy food. This was ri-damn-diculous spicy. It did more than
  just taste like burning, it burnt the whole way down and even burned in
  my tummy. I almost didn’t finish it, I came so close to saying “this
  just ain’t worth it” but instead, finished it. I mean, holy fuck, I
  thought I my tongue was going to burn off or I would lose a lip eating
  this shit.

  • 10:13 pm
  • 1 Comment