There is a haunted house here in Illinois that is a based on a Baptist’s version of hell. Essentially, its a hell themed haunted house. On the surface, it sounds cool. But, let me tell you a little bit more about it and you will see why I find it disgusting and offensive. It involves scenes depicting consequences of bad decisions, or so says the church. Decisions such as sex, drugs, violence and the worst decision somebody could possibly make, homosexuality. In one scene, there is a guy that is pretending to give a lady an abortion. There are people who are playing homosexuals that have gone to hell. This so called hell even had a meditating Buddhist. At the end of the house, an angel asks people to invite Jesus into their hearts to avoid hell. This whole haunted house is appalling. Once again, so called Christianity is preying on people’s fears. How can they sit there and ask people to “invite Jesus into their hearts” and also preach hate. I may not know much about the bible, but is this how their so called Jesus acted? Did Jesus try to get people to follow him by using fear and hate? No, he did not. Jesus was all about love and caring. Correct me if I’m wrong, but Jesus never did tell people they were going to hell. These so called Christians preach to be more Christ like and always ask the question “What would Jesus do?” And yet, they can not be any less Christ like and I don’t ever seem to remember Jesus condemning  gays and Buddists to hell. And, if Jesus can not send somebody to hell, than these Christians sure as hell can’t condemn somebody. The worst part about this house is that it is geared and marketed towards teens and young kids, minds that are very impressionable. Minds that will be influenced to carry the seeds of hate and intolerance to the next generation. Instead of trying to bring all different types of people together, they use fear to push people apart and to drive people to bigotry. Hardcore Christians often blame gays for what they call, recruiting teens to be gay. Yet, they run around and literally but the fear of hell into people so that they believe and follow what they do. Simply put, this is unconscionable.

What if those of us that are non believers came up with our own Christian is Hell haunted house? In other words, the opposite of this house. Actually, I think we would make it a fun house. Maybe more of a HOUSE OF HIPPIES!!! First, as you step into the house, there is a thick haze of refer smoke, so that as soon as you walk in, you get a contact high. As you go through the house, you start to snack on potato chips and Oreos, because you have got “the mad munchies, yo!” You even have the option to smoke joints that were lite with burning bibles. Next, there is a bar, in which you are given any alcoholic beverage you want. Being drunk and high helps loosen your inhibitions so that you are prepared for the Glory Hole room. All guys do is stick their beefsticks into a hole and pleasure ensues. As for the ladies, they sit down, spread their legs, and start playing a game of Insert with vibrators that lower from the ceiling. All the while, porn is being played on a big screen. After the Glory Hole room, patrons are then brought into another room, where they take morning after pills just in case they got knocked up. Next is the gay room, in which people are made to watch a 30 minute infomercial on gay recruitment. Right afterwards, there are gay recruitment officers waiting to “sign people up to be Soliders of the Gays” and are given rainbow bumper stickers. Next they are whisked off to see how stem cell research works. After that, they walk through the “Vortex of Evolution” in which they learn the facts of evolution.
Finally, to get out of the house, all married couples must get divorced!

See how utterly ridiculous this sounds? Such a place would not be tolerated in society, so why is the Baptist Hell house tolerated?

Yesterday when we went out to breakfast, there were a couple of goth type teens that sat at the table next to us. Because I have to be me, I had to say something to them. I asked them if they were hung over (it was noon) or coming from church. Of course, they didn’t go to church, which got me to thinking. See, at that time of day on a Sunday, especially Halloween weekend, there would be a lot of hung over people (like us) just waking up. And because its Sunday, others would be coming from church. This was no exception. See, it pretty much assures that everybody there was praying to something that morning: either praying to God or praying to the porcelain God. And you can easily tell the difference between the 2. Church goers are dressed nice and have the fear of hell in them; hung over people are disheveled and feel and look like hell. They really can’t be any different types of people. Its downright fucking crazy.

I could have made that WAAAAAY better, but I’m lacking something right now, don’t quite know what it is.

I met a guy last night who, well, I’m just going to come right out and say it: he was a rich, spoiled brat. Although nice. And fun. He is 20 years old (come on, you people know I like ‘em young!) and lives in Tinley Park. But, his parents are VERY well off. So much, that its fucking ri-damn-diculous! For example, he is from Florida and going to school up here. He has his own condo which is nice. At least once a week, he flies back home to Florida, if not first class, than business class. Ok, that’s not too bad, but it really gets much worse. He told me that pretty much, every month, he racks up a $3000 American Express bill and pays it off each month. He has a set of $2000 cooking knives which he has never used, since he doesn’t cook. His jeans are around $250. He takes his dogs to a doggy hotel each day, which costs $40 a day. That’s pretty much the cost of daycare! His parents are so rich that he told me a story about when somebody told him to shop at Wal Mart for pet supplies. You know what he told them? “Why would I want to shop at a store that sells walls?”. That’s right people, he did not know what Wal Mart is! Dude, what the fuck? I HATE Wal Mart, and don’t shop there, but shit, I know what it is. It kept getting worse. He bragged about how he has gotten people fired from their jobs at stores and car dealerships. He is pretty much the asshole, rich, prissy customer. But, the thing that I was most appalled at was he goes shopping with his friends and because he is too lazy to carry his own bags, he buys his friends stuff so that they would carry his bags. I told him that he was an asshole and that he should treat these people (workers and friends) with respect and dignity. I said that   the other countries that hate us because we are greedy, materialistic, and superficial and how he represents all of these. I told him that he needs to be socially responsible since his parents have all this wealth. He told me that he has done some good things, like he took a kid from the Make A Wish Foundation to Disney World and bought her a puppy. I mentioned that this was wonderful and a great thing, he needs to do more things like this. I don’t want to make it seem like I was mean to him or resented him, because I didn’t. I just told him that he did not deserve to be treated any differently than anybody else. I don’t know if any of this shit made him think, but I hope so. Its not like he was a mean kid, he was fun and nice. Just prissy and materialistic.

Ever since it came out, I have always been a really big fan of Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start The Fire.” In fact, its always been my favorite Billy Joel song, although “Scenes From An Italian Restaurant” is a good song too (wink wink!). In fact, I love “We Didn’t Start The Fire” so much, my lame ass even tried to write a version of my own about my friends and I a couple of years ago. My plan was to write it and read it the last year that we were all going to go camping together, but I couldn’t finish it in time, it was hard. Being a big history buff, I became very interested in everything in this song. I  quickly learned all the words and eventually, I got Jt and Dave into the song. One time, we took a road trip to Dave’s college. Most of the way, we played “We Didn’t Start The Fire” and REM’s “End Of The World” over and over so that we could learn the lyrics to both. In fact, the whole time we were there, we annoyed the shit out of Dave’s old roommates singing it constantly. Soon though, both songs became our “drunk songs”, in other words, we used to sing them when we were drunk. We could tell how drunk we were by how much we fucked up each song. Anywho, I only mention this because I found a video of “We Didn’t Start The Fire” on Youtube which shows everything that is in the song. At the end though, it shows a lot of events that have happened since 1989, the year of the songs release. What is really funny about this video is that during the chorus, they show people trying to start fires. Anywho, of course, I have included the link:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=z8BTqnycK1M&mode=related&search=

I’m kinda pissed. I was thieved yesterday. Somebody stole my change collector out of my car. You know what I’m talking about, it is a little portable change dealy with slots for nickels, dimes, and quarters. Well, it was filled, and somebody stole it. No, I didn’t have the car locked, which I know, I should lock it. But, that still doesn’t give somebody the right to take whatever the fuck they want. See, I leave it unlocked because I’m hoping that somebody will go in there and clean it for me. I mean, I woudln’t be pissed if they at least bothered to throw out all the shit on the floor before taking the change, at least then they would have earned it. Also, I don’t lock the doors because there really isn’t anything of significant value in the car. Sure, there was the change, but everything can be replaced at a rather low cost. Now, I don’t know for sure when it was stolen. I only noticed it yesterday, so it could have happened any time over the weekend. And I was so angry yesterday about it that I forgot to post about it, which is to say, I wasn’t extremely pissed, had I been, I would have bitched about it. But, it is one of life’s little annoyances and I can’t help but feel violated.

Also yesterday, I did something I have wanted to do for a long time: I combined a cup of coffee with sugar free hot chocolate. Now, I know this is something that Starbucks has been selling for $17.95 for years now, and yes, I have had a mocca before. But, this was the first time I did it myself for free with the coffee and hot chocolate we have at work. It was pretty damn good, especially for sugar free. So, today, I decided to bump it up a notch, this time I used the regular hot chocolate. Holy shit, it tasted even better! It was fucking scary good. So good, I fear I might become addicted and as many of you know, the last thing I need is more sugar and caffeine.

I forgot to mention this rather huge achievement of a friend of mine: she completed all 26+ (I don’t know the exact miles, just know its between 26-27) miles of the Chicago Marathon. She was really excited, but exhausted and very sore. She tool today and tomorrow off work as recovery days. At first I thought, “two days for recovery, thats a bit much, I mean its not like she…………wait, now that I think of it, there probably isn’t anything more physically demanding than running a marathon.” She was telling me I should run a marathon sometime, but shit, I have a hard enough time driving 26 miles, how the hell am I gonna run it?

It looks like Barack  Obama is going to run for president in 2008. At first, I was thinking he wasn’t ready, since he has only been a senator for 2 years. But, the more I think about it, the more I realize that he should run. He is very popular right now and who knows if he will still be this popular in 2012 or 2016. He has cross appeal and brings together a lot of people. Even a  Republican like Rusty says he will vote for him. The Democrats also really don’t have anybody else that stands as good of a chance of winning. Its safe to say that America has had enough of Republicans right now, but the Democrats still have to put up somebody worth voting for in 2008. This is going to be an election that is the Democrats to lose and putting up somebody like Hillary Clinton might be a huge mistake. Hillary Clinton is too polarizing and will probably not win. John Kerry or Al Gore? Been there, done that. Howard Dean? Great choice, but not a solid pick. Just look at all the potential candidates I have mentioned and try telling me that Obama is not better than any of them? Also, Oprah wants him to run. Laugh if you must, but with Oprah behind him, this makes him about as sure a bet as can be. Some people say America is not ready for a black president, but I say if not now, then when? This is the time, and this is the place. The longer he stays in Congress, the more of a chance he has of losing his popularity or being involved in some sort of scandal. People love this guy. Sure, there are your staunch Republicans who will refuse to vote for a Democrat. And of course, you have your racist people that would only vote to see that a black man is not elected, but I believe that he can overcome all of that. Not only will I vote for him, but I might even campaign for him.

I’ve decided I want to be fossilized someday. Preferably after I’m dead, but I haven’t ruled out when I’m alive. I know that I need to be dead to become fossilized, but my thinking is that I could reach a certain age and then start to undergo steps to be ensured of fossilization. I know this sounds crazy, but what a way to be remembered. 100,000 from now when everybody else has turned to dust or been cremated, here is the fossil of me being moved all across the globe by animals and futuristic school children. What a way to live on. And, maybe I can even find a way to be smiling on my fossil. Imagine, they find a fossil and its smiling back at them. How funny and incredibly creepy all at the same time. Now, I know it takes a few years to become fossilized, and that’s why I’m hoping Steven Hawking invents something that Bill Gates can fund to accelerate the process. I mean, I don’t need it to be microwave fast, surely the last thing the world needs is On Demand fossilization. But, instead of 100,000 years, maybe they can come up with something thats more reasonable, say in the 150 year range. I know what you are saying, why not fossilize somebody of greatness, you know, like Chachi or the guy that did the voice of the Knight Rider car. But, see, this is the genius of the whole plan, you take some average joe and turn him into a fossil. After all, its not like the dinosaurs that we have fossils of were famous in their time. No, we only have the fossils of the average, every day dinosaurs. This would give future generations a peek into the life of an average, everyday person. So, get to work Hawking and Gates, I’m probably gonna wanna start the process in about 30 years or so.

I was chatting with a guy online this weekend and he showed me one of the funniest pictures I have ever seen, provided its real. And, I think it is. He was a pretty goofy guy and he had a picture of him with his fist in his mouth! I could not stop laughing at this pic, it was damn funny. It reminded me of something on the Simpsons.

Watching the World Series this weekend and being a Cub fan, of course, I have to root for the Tigers, but not just because they are playing the Cardinals. The way I see it, the Tigers represent hope for all of us hopeless Cubs fans. 3 years ago, the Tigers were the laughingstock of baseball. They lost 119 games, the second worst season in baseball history. The next 2 years also sucked, and now this year, out of nowhere, they are in the damn World Series. It gives me hope for the Cubs. The thing is, do I really want hope?  After all, this is the Cubs, and in the end, they are only going to disappoint me. Fuck.

I swear, FOX has no shame. One thing they have always done is show actors from their shows in the crowd of the baseball playoffs/World Series. As if, more people are going to watch Prison Break because one of the actors is at the World Series. Honestly, does this make a difference? Does somebody honestly say “Holy shit, there is the dude that plays on that crappy show ‘Til Death is freezing his ass off at the World Series, this makes me want to sit through 5 or 10 minutes of his shit ass show.” I mean, is it worth it to fly the actor all the way to Detroit, set him up in a hotel, and give him tickets on the off chance that somebody is going to watch his show? I guess in a way, its free advertising. And shit, for the actor, its a free trip to the World Series. But still, FOX is absolutely shameless. They have people from American Idol sing “God Bless America”. Its just so fucking shameless, I swear. They are so shameless, they are kind of like the tv version of my mother.

I know its been a while since I posted, but I really don’t have too much more to say for now.

I fear the end of days may be near. Turns out, I actually agree with some evangelicals about something. Nah, the end of days aren’t near, because, as an atheist, I don’t believe in the appocolypse. Anywho, read the story here:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061018/ap_on_re_us/sudan_evangelicals

This week at work they are going to have blood drive and also info about being a bone marrow donor. I grabbed a brochure to look into it, as I’m always look to donating when needed. Of course, I’m not giving blood because I’m a complete Prior (that’s Cub lingo for pussy) when it comes to needles. As for the bone marrow, do you realize what you have to do to donate marrow? First of all, because obtaining bone marrow is expensive, people donating actually have to pay to donate. Normally, its $85, but people at our company are getting a discount, its “only” $55. But, that’s not the crazy part. To donate, you actually have to take several blood tests and other tests just to see if you are a match. Should you match for somebody (and chances are, you will), the next step is taking some sort of pill or some kind of injection for a few days. Then comes the surgery. Usually, they get the bone marrow from your pelvis. It is an outpatient thing, but you remain pretty sore for about 3 or 4 days afterwards. Isn’t it much easier to just give money or blood? No, I realize, people need bone marrow. Still, this is a major deal and process just to donate. Having a fear of needles, I’m not going to donate, but even if I didn’t have a fear of needles, I still don’t know if I would do it. But, I will say this, much kudos and praise to the people that do, they have my admiration.

This is a bit late, but last week at Clem’s, Todd said something to me that I have been thinking about ever since. We were talking about how I like sports, can’t dance or dress and he said “wow, you have just completely blown every stereotype I have of gays. Are you sure you are gay?” Obviously, I am, but here is where it made me think. I don’t want to over do this, but it made me realize that for most of my friends, I am their only representation of gay. Or, I’m the closest person to them that is gay. I don’t know what to make of this. My friends all accept me for who I am, regardless of what or who I am. Nevertheless, does this mean I sort of have to watch what I do because I might give gays a bad name? Or does this just open up their eyes to typical (and for the most part, true) gay stereotypes and they see gays as being just like them, except gay? I think the latter might be more true. For years, Jt was the only person that knew I was gay. Yet, for years, he never treated me any different than anybody else. Now that we are no longer friends, I don’t know what he thinks of gays, maybe I have ruined his perception of gays and now he has a problem with gays. I doubt that, though. Scooty was another person that said to me once “do you realize how unusual you are, being a gay guy that knows more about sports than most straight guys?”. See, I don’t know if this is supposed to be a compliment or more of an insult. I wasn’t offended at the time and still am not offended by it (Scooty has said far more offensive things to me), but I think I’m more happy that I’m able to breakdown the typical gay stereotypes. Still, what do I mean to those that know I’m gay? Am I just their friend? Am I their gay friend? Or am I their gay friend who, oh, by the way, happens to be gay? I’m having a harder time explaining this that how I’m thinking it in my head. I do think that I have had an impact on Dave, for years Dave seemed to always have a problem with gays. I know he used to be against gay marriage, for example. I asked him about it now and he said that he only was like that because he thought I was gay and isn’t really like that. I don’t believe him, I think he is too worried that he might offended me if he had the same views (I would be offended). But, still, I think that in the 2 years since he found out I’m gay, he has a more positive perception of gays. I think he now sees them as being just like straight people. And ultimately, I think if it came down to it, he would support me in a battle for gay marriage. In the end, though, I just want them to see me as a person and not a sexuality. I don’t want to be treated any differently than anybody else. And for the most part, that is how my friends have all treated me. Sure, they were all surprised at first (that’s not to say that they didn’t suspect it) and asked many questions all of which I was happy to answer. But, with the exception of some of Scooty’s rude and uncalled for comments, they don’t treat me any different and they don’t see me as being their “gay friend” but instead just their friend. Which, is all I could truly ask. The interesting thing about it, is that Scooty has a gay brother and although he has spent the most time around any other gays, he is the one that is the least sensitive and seems to make the most and worst comments, even if they are just jokes. Does this mean that everybody else might be worried that they will offend me or upset me? I’m a hard person to offend, although there is a time and place for those sorts of comments or jokes. Being socially retarded, Scooty doesn’t seem to get this. In the end, I think that, for lack of a better term, my purpose has been to open up their eyes to gays and make them realize that gays are not any different that heterosexuals. That’s not to say my friends have been homophobic or had a problem with gays, some of them I know did have problems with gays, but not all of them. Now, though, all of them are very accepting and comfortable around me.

BEAR DOWN, CHICAGO BEARS!!!!!!

Holy fucking shit, what a game!!!! We watched it at Buffalo Wild Wings in Romeoville. Most of the game, Mark and his friend Brian (and Rusty at times) were bitching about the Bears and Grossman. At one point, with about 6 minutes left to go, Jeff, Mark, and Brian all started to get ready to leave. I knew better. I told them they still had a chance, after all, I was at a game (say it with me, Heather!) in which the Bears were down by 14 points with 27 seconds left and they came back to win. 13 points with 5 minutes left, piece of cake. After they came back, the place was going crazy, everybody jumping up and down and cheering, you would have thought that we were at the game. And when the Cardinals had a chance to win on a field goal with 40 seconds left, I felt helpless so before the kick, I started shouting “WIDE RIGHT, WIDE RIGHT!” and to make myself look even more like a jackass, I started jumping up and waving my arms to the right, kinda like Carlton Fisk in the ’75 World Series. Here comes the kick. Its up…………………..WIDE RIGHT!!! All of a sudden, with well over a hundred people in the bar going crazy, I didn’t feel like a jackass after all! The Bears won a game they had no business winning, which is what good teams do. I mean, they turned the ball over 6 fucking times and still found a way to win. That’s crazy!

And, as an added bonus, I came home to find I’m in first place in my football pool! WOOOHOOO!!! Everything’s coming up Mike!!!

Last night was the big card game at Dave’s house. I will make it brief, since I have a lot to write. We were trying to get 30 people to play. We can very very close, we had a grand total of 12 people! Holy shit, 12 people! What the fuck happened to all the people we play cards with? Between my people, Mark’s people, and Jt’s people, would should have been able to get 30 with our eyes closed. Then again, Mark was unable to play and therefore, none of his people played. Long story short, I did rather average and did not win any money. Dave’s neighbor actually won the whole damn thing. The funny part is that Dave predicted that his brother Darryl and Jt would be the top 2. Turns out, Jt was one of the first ones out and his brother I think finished 6th.

After my perfect week picking games last week, I thought it would be very funny if I didn’t get a game right this week. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t rooting for that to happen, but it would have been funny. Nevertheless, I wasn’t perfect this week, but as of right now, I’ve got a 4 point lead for the week and its looking like I will pick up big ground on the dude in first. Oh, and on a side note, with 2 games left to play for the week, Scooty told me that Dave has won only one game.

Today, I finally became one of you: I reluctantly bought a cell phone. I probably got more minutes that I needed, but as is my understanding, once I realize this, I can still get this corrected. After buying the phone from Sprint, I made my way over to Best Buy where I would use $60 worth of gift cards to get myself a Bluetooth. For those of you that don’t know what this is, its a wireless earpiece for cell phones. Its supposed to do other things, but I have no idea what those other things are. All I know is that once I got the damn thing working, it was pretty cool. I was able to leave my cell phone on the table and walk away with the piece in my ear and still be able to hold a conversation. You gotta love technology. Obviously I love technology so much, that I waited a million years to get a damn cell phone.

With this whole Mark Foley getting jiggy with 16 year olds, Denny Hastert has been all over the news, which is bad for anybody with eye sight. I have always thought he was pretty damn ugly, but holy shit has he gotten fatter and really really fucking ugly. I mean, he has really let himself go. I know, this sounds mean, but look at these pics of him. He is unsightly to say the least.

Whoa nelly, I sure hope he wasn’t planning on taking part in any dating auctions

He is so awful in this pic, the truck next to him needed a jump start after he stood next to it.

Wow, he is so fat, even his reflection needs to go on a diet.

How many damn fucking chins does one guy need? No wonder why Bush is smiling, next to him, he looks like an Adonis.

The man is so fat, he needs two microphones to be heard.


Look away people! Looking at this ugly face for longer than 3 seconds can turn you to stone. Just look at Bush, he can’t move.

Wow. That’s ugly enough to make a gay man go straight.

This singlehandedly might be the ugliest picture of any Congressperson ever. Holy shit, I mean what the fuck! Its so ugly, I can’t think of anything to say. Wait for it. Wait, it will come. He is so ugly in this pic, it was enough to make the entire press core pass out. They should use this pic when they are trying to sober up Courtney Love.

I know, I was pretty mean on the guy. But hell, he is a Republican!

Ok, some people might find this a little bit crazy, but the other night I printed out the nutritional content for Panda Express, Panera and Subway. I’m not surprised and I have seen this info before, but its really crazy how unhealthy fast food places are. And, I didn’t even look at McDonald’s or Burger King. Of course, these companies are only giving America what it wants. If people stopped buying this junk (and we all know that will never happen) they will stop selling it and marketing healthier alternatives. But, these places just don’t seem to have many other healthy options. I don’t know why these places can’t just use like a Weight Watchers cook book to come up with other meals; its not like good tasting, healthy food doesn’t exist. As long as you season it properly, it can be very tasty. Anywho, I brought those printouts to work, since those are the 3 restaurants I eat at most. Granted, I usually only eat from the healthier parts of those menus, I still wanted to know what I could get by with should I choose to eat less healthy.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention this, but Mark and Amy had a 3D ultrasound of the twins. Although, you really can’t see anything clear on the one twin, the other twin looks exactly like Mark. In fact, it looks so much like Mark, its downright creepy. Its like a little, alien version of Mark. It makes me wonder even more if its a boy or a girl, I mean, after all, Addison looked a lot like Mark when she was born too.

Today I walked my happy ass over to Macy’s to look for one of those things that go around your ears during the wintertime. Its not a hat, not ear muffs, but it goes around your head and ears without messing your hair. Anywho, Macy’s didn’t have them, but I was pricing scarves and hats just to see. When I think about it, I don’t know that I have ever bought a hat, not that I don’t own one, but as you might expect of me, I have had the same one since, shit, high school……………I’m not kidding about that. Anywho, their hats and scarves STARTED at around $30-$35! And some when on up to $50. I just can’t imagine why they need to cost that much. I mean, what the fuck, are they fucking heated? I’ve never been one to bitch too much about the price of things. I’m even willing to overpay for certain things. But, even I have my limits. Now, not having shopped for wintergear, I asked people at work what they would pay and the consensus seemed to be around $10, maybe $15. I know this was Macy’s, but still, what the fuck could be so damn special about those hats and scarves? I know, its the name. Some of them were made by Nautica, but how fucking superficial does somebody have to be that they are buying a fucking hat or scarf as a status item and to show off to people? Shit, I don’t even think Jt’s devil girlfriend would be that superficial. Than again, I don’t know her well, maybe she is. Either way, its a lot of fucking money to pay for a hat or scarf