Finally, I’ve got some pics to post, these first ones are from St Patty’s Day.

Me and John with Jt and Rene in the background at Christie’s house. Personally, I think John and I look like a gay couple here, which couldn’t be anymore disgusting seeing as we are brothers.

Me playing Christie’s leg like its a gee-tar! No, I aint actually Irish, but you have to admit, it was a cool shirt.

 
The whole night, I kept singing the part in Margaritaville “Searchin’ for my lost shaker of salt”, well I finally found the damn thing at the bar!

This is Christie with a leprechaun that had been super-sized. Really cool, but I wonder if he was hung like a leprechaun?

This is Mark with his newborn twins, one of them is Nathaniel and the other Isabella. I’d like to think Nathan is on Mark’s right, but I really don’t know. The thing that is so funny is that Mark, John, and Rene all mentioned how this reminded them of a picture that we have hanging up of my dad holding Mark and I at that same age. There is only one problem. Sure, there is a picture of my dad holding twins………..a beer in one hand and a bottle of champaign in the other hand. In the picture, my mom is in front of him holding Mark and I. Anywho, Mark wants that picture, so maybe I can get him to scan it so I can post it.

Its time to go to that special fantasy place where the stuff that is in the bible is actually real.

In this day and age of everybody having some sort of mental illness, I realized that Jesus probably suffered from any number of undiagnosed mental illnesses. Why were they undiagnosed? Perhaps he was too damn stubborn to go to the doctor. Maybe he bought into the hype of him being “the son of God” and therefore, nothing could be wrong with him. Maybe he didn’t have any money or a good health care plan. Oh, and maybe there weren’t any head doctors back then. It could have been any combination of the above reasons, either way, he was one pissed off, fucked up dude. I think he could have been bipolar. One moment he was peacefully spreading love and the next moment he was damning this person and spiting this other person and flipping over tables. One moment he was helping the homeless and next thing you know, he is saying non-believers should be whacked. Also, maybe he was a paranoid schizophrenic, after all he kept “hearing the voice of God” I mean, exactly what the hell is all of that about. And, he thought that one of his Apostles was going to betray him, if that doesn’t reek of paranoia, than I don’t know what does. Of course, he also must of had many bouts of depression. I mean, he refused to shave for years, seemed to go a long time without showering and also wandered the desert aimlessly for 40 days and 40 nights, all classic signs of depression. Actually, when you think about it, he was a complete wreck, at least mentally. In addition, he also had a pretty big fear of commitment. He left  Mary Magdalane hanging for all those years, refusing to commit to her even though she followed him around worshipping him. Quite sad, actually. I mean, what does a girl have to do to get a fucking engagement ring from the guy? And yet, people want to call her a whore. Well maybe she would settle down a little if her man just gave in and finally married her, I mean, Jesus Christ!. But, its easy to see where Jesus got it from, after all, his father was quite the headcase  himself. You never knew what you were going to get with this guy, was he a loving God, a vengeful God or a angry God? I wish he would make up his own God dammed mind! Both Jesus and God were more moody than a pregnant chick. Between me and you, I don’t think there is enough therapy in the world to cure either one of these dudes.

We haven’t done this in a while, but its time once again for “PAT ROBERTSON SAYS THE DUMMEST THINGS!!!”

“God’s pattern is for men to
be the leaders, both in the church and in the family… “Women should listen and
learn quietly and submissively. I do not let women teach men or have authority
over them.”
– Pat Robertson, reciting a
passage from I Timothy in his book, Bring It On, quoted from Nicholas D
Kristof, “Peter, Paul, Mary … and God” (The New York Times: February 28, 2004)
††

Oh Pat, you are an endless stream of entertainment!

THEY’REEEEE HEEEEEEREEEE!!!!

That’s right, today was the long awaited day. There were 2 of them and they were identical and it seemed to take forever to make them. But, as soon as they were done cooking and out, they were instantly loved by everyone who saw them. That’s right people, I speak of my chocolate waffles!!!!! Sure, it was a bit of a challenge to make them, but they tasted really good.

Oh, and also, my brother’s wife had the twins today. Nathaniel John was born first followed by Isabella Grace. I guess since it was a C-section, they were pretty  much born at the same time. Izzy is actually bigger than her brother, she is 6lbs 8oz and 19 1/2 inches whereas Nate-dogg is 5lb 11oz and 18 1/2 inches. Both babies were much bigger than their father and uncle some 31 1/2 years ago, we were actually 4lbs each. Then again, I really don’t know if we were early or not, these twins were due on 04/17 so for twins to be born only a week early, that’s really nothing.

I got the call from Mark about 9:45 this morning, within a half hour of them being born. I made it up to the hospital about 12:15ish. Mark was actually out to lunch with his in laws and Amy was in the room nippling Nathaniel. I guess it was only an attempted nippling, as she had some trouble latching him. I dunno, I really don’t know much about the whole breast myself. Although Isabella looks like Addison looks right now, its tough to figure out who Nathaniel looks like.

Soon, Mark showed up followed shortly afterwards by his in laws. We sat around enjoying the babies while watching the Cubs lose their home opener. I came home about 4:30. 

By the way, did you all catch my Poltergeist reference?

This is a brief summary of my weekend. Thursday night, I finally got what I was told I would soon be getting: an apology from Scooty for his being an asshole during Scootyfest. It did not come without him saying that I was to blame for a lot of things, in fact, he even wrote a top 10 list “Top 10 Reasons Michael Aint Right”. He also went as far as to apologize to Keith, John, and Randy for how he acted. I commend him, it really was big of him to apologize. He said that the way he acted and the things he said were unacceptable. Good for him.

Saturday, we went to Scooty’s house to see his new daughter. She is adorable, when she is awake, when she is sleeping, she is still adorable, but just not at as fun. Then again, come to think of it, she is not very fun when she is awake either. Just about everybody was there, except for the Johnsons and Randy. Oh, and Rene.

Dave had an idea of going out to a bar. He said it was the bar that we went to for our 29th birthday. The only problem is that he could not remember the name of it and did not know where it was located. I told him to find out what it was and where it was located at and I would pick  him up. Much to my surprise, he actually did find out the name and location. I picked him up and we went back to Scooty’s house. We spent time trying to talk Mark into going, but it was he was not interested. Long story short, it was just John, Dave and I at this bar. This place was such a dive, and as all dives do on Saturday nights, they had karoke. What was different about this place was that nobody was singing country. Instead, they were singing Metallica and Twisted Sister. Not that there was anything wrong with those bands, I like them, its just not what you want to hear for karoke. We soon left that bar and headed over to Mickey’s in Romeoville. We played darts. The bar was closing early last night because of Easter. So, we got stuck in this long game of cricket, so long that they had pretty much closed the bar and the workers were waiting for us to finish. They were hounding us, pretty much standing behind us rooting for us to finish. Finally, we just ended the game and left.

Easter was at my cousin’s house. Every time I see my cousin’s son in law, he is always trying to either hook me up with chicks or telling me that I should be a stand-up comedian. Today, it was #2. Not that I’m complaining. Certainly, its very flattering that he thinks I’m funny enough to do stand up. Honestly, I would love to go into comedy, I just don’t think I would be a good stand up comic. I’m not going to be one of those people that has false modesty, because that’s almost as annoying as arrogance. Sure, I know I’m funny, I make people laugh all day long at work. But, stand up is a whole different beast, you don’t have any margin for error. I have never been a fan of stand up comedy, it just doesn’t make me laugh. And, some of those comics are just so good, they would blow me away. Plus, I’m better at spontaneous comedy, such as “Whose Line Is It Anyway” type of stuff. Yet, I’m so tempted to try something. I believe that I have a gift of making people laugh and I would hate to look back 20 years from now and say that  I have wasted that gift. Its no secret that a lot of what I write on here is my own sometimes successful and sometimes futile attempt at comedy. Now I’m the type of person that is very determined and never gives up at anything. But, breaking into comedy and being successful at it is very tough, the odds are very low. And, since I’m not willing to move to Los Angeles or New York, my odds automatically go down a lot. I’m also over 30, that’s very old to get started in the entertainment industry. Yet, I feel like comedy is the one thing that I was meant to do. I’m a natural at making people laugh. I think I could totally kick ass at something like a talk show. Every now and then, I have the desire to go into comedy. And because I’ve always got people telling me to go into it, that makes it even harder to not at least attempt it. And its not even a case of stage fright, I feel very comfortable having the spotlight in front of a large crowd. In fact, that’s usually when I’m at my best. The only problem is where do I start? A lot of people say Second City (so many people have gotten their starts there) but that can be pricey to take classes there. And when I stop and look at how hard it is to be successful in comedy, whether it is stand up, writing, sketch comedy or anything else, it becomes very overwhelming. That’s what makes me not go for it. Sure, there are a lot of lame, unfunny people (Pauly Shore, I’m looking at you, you lame ass fucking has been) that have made it and I truly believe that I’m funnier than them. But, for every Pauly Shore or Tom Arnold, there are a thousand more talented, brilliant comics that have not made it. That is very discouraging. Then again, what do I have to lose? Oh well, if anybody has any ideas or suggestions, I’m open.

Jeez, I am really rushing through this post. That’s all for now.

Tomorrow is the big day, the twins will be born! I’m excited and looking forward to it, but probably not nearly as excited as Amy is to finally have them out of her.Anywho, not to be forgotten, here is a picture of Addison and me.

Now if only I could obtain pictures from St Patty’s Day, I would be set.

Awwww snap people!!! I loves me some Tom and Jerry and one of my favorites is the one with Jerry’s Uncle Pecos. You may not remember Uncle Pecos, but you might remember the song he sang. Anywho, as you might imagine, I found it on YouTube! About 7 or 8 years ago Jt, and I found the song on the internet, but that was without the video, so until the other night, I had not seen this episode (can Tom and Jerry have episodes?) since I was a little kid. It was much different than what I remembered. Anywho, here is the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4McqLOQYrk

I know it is mean to make fun of people that stutter, which is what this cartoon does. But its so damn funny how he can pronounce really hard words but tank easy words, you know kinds like George W Bush, except that he doesn’t know any words that are longer than 2 syllables. I love Uncle Pecos’s attempt at a yodel too. Back when Jt and I found this song years ago, we had it stuck in our heads for the better part of a month. And, we also got our friends and other people at work singing it too. Another kick ass song from Tom and Jerry was “Is You Is Or Is You Aint My Baby” which you can find if you do your own damn search for it on YouTube. People have said that cartoon  is racist, but honestly, I don’t get it. Obviously, its a black person singing, in fact, this was a song from, I believe the 1940s. But, the cartoon itself is classic Tom & Jerry and this particular episode was far from racist.

You know, I hope if there is an afterlife, we don’t have to watch our entire life again. I sure as hell hope we can fast forward through much of it. When you think about it, the majority of every single person’s life is boring. Even the most exciting people who have lead interesting and amazing lives are boring at least 75% of any given day. Sure, watching a movie based on somebody’s life, like the movie about Ray Charles, is interesting. But, there is so much of the life that is left out. After all, its not exciting to watch somebody sleep for 15 minutes, its got to be painfully boring to watch somebody sleep for 8 hours. Unless there is choking or major burning, watching somebody eat, for the most part, is boring. Going to the bathroom? Well, unless you are one of those weirdos that likes to watch people make #1 or #2 (I think a guy I used to know by the name of Ed is probably really into that sort of thing. Yes, this is Brian’s old friend Ed), doing one’s business is boring and sometimes gross. Imagine watching somebody talk on the phone, you only get one side of the conversation and that can be mighty boring a lot of the time. Most of the time one is driving, things are pretty uneventful, so that would be boring as well. Shit, you might be entertained at reading this blog, but would you still be entertained watching me type it? No. And speaking of reading, watching somebody silently read just might be the most boring thing a person could ever do. My point is, most of the time, life is very boring and nobody should have to watch a life. Yet, just about everybody would be willing to watch a whole entire boring life just to see the short amount of time in which somebody is having sex.

After watching Jesus Camp this past weekend, my eyes have been opened. No, I haven’t found Jesus. I have realized that the conservative Christians have declared war against liberals. The movie was a wake up call, as it shows in depth the lengths that these people are willing to go to achieve their goals. The the documentary is about a camp that is run by a lady for children ranging from the  ages of 6-12. The camp is supposed to be helping them to become better Christians. As you might expect, they use fear to reach out to these children. They also use the children to help spread their anti-abortion agenda. What is so scary is that this is all real. Of course, I have found many problems with these people. I should clarify that the movie is about Evangelical or born again Christians.

First of all, in case you didn’t know, to become an Evangelical, you have to accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior. Now, here comes the part that is so hypocritical. Christians as a whole always preach to be more Christ like. As an atheist, I do not have a problem with this at all. In fact, I think that is a wonderful idea, and I’m not being sarcastic. I strongly feel that the world would be a far better place if indeed, more people were more Christ like. I for one, do not doubt that Jesus was real, after all, there is documented evidence that he existed. I just don’t believe that he was the son of God or that he died and came back 3 days later. I just think he was a mortal man. Now, the entire basis of Christianity is to follow Christ’s teachings, which is where most of conservative Christians fail, and fail miserably I might add. Christ always taught to love everybody, help the poor and feed the hungry. Jesus was all about love and Jesus does love everybody. Ask any Christian any of what I have written in the past 2 sentences and not one of them will dispute you. Yet, why do they spend so much time, money, and effort on the Holy Trinity. No, not that Holy Trinity. What I mean, is abortion, evolution and gays. They hold conferences, demonstrations, classes and conventions to help fight against those so called “anti-Christian values.” Yet, meanwhile, millions in the world today go hungry, millions are homeless and millions need the help of their fellow man. These are the people their Jesus spoke of. Where is the fighting for them? Why aren’t they holding demonstrations in Washington trying to get our government to be more concerned for the poor and hungry? Why is the focus only on those 3 topics? In  Jesus Camp they never once mention to these children how they should be helping others, feeding the hungry and clothing the poor. They don’t preach the teachings of Christ. Instead of trying to get these kids to be more Christ-like, they focus the children on saving people and fighting against abortion. If they can not teach children at a young age to help those that are less fortunate, than what good are they? They always ask “What would Jesus do?” Well, I am not a Christian and I know what Jesus would do. Jesus would help those less fortunate and preach to others to do the same. How do I know this? Because, Christians have said that is what he would do.

So why are they not focused on this? Because, for them, it is not about being Christ like. And it is not about helping others. Its all about money and control. The more control over people they have, the more money they get. And the more money they get, the more political power they can gain to help their agenda of ending abortion, evolution and gay rights. And why do they want to do this? See, its big circle, it helps them to get more people to believe what they believe. They often speak of the “homosexual agenda”. They like to say that gays recruit people and attempt to spread the sinful homosexual lifestyle to children. Well, the reason why they say this is because they want to distract people from their own recruit and agenda: to convert as many people to Christianity as they possibly can. Now, I know that sounds awfully cynical, and it is. But, its also true. Ever talk to an Evangelical? One of their goals is to spread the word of God and save as many people as they can. They literally sometimes go door to door to do this. They give you all sorts of literature. They try to scare people into finding God with stories of how they will be saved and go to Heaven and meanwhile you will be left behind in a Hell on earth when the apocalypse happens. Who all gets left behind you say? Anybody who does not believe the same things they do. They go on missions in other countries to help “spread the word” of Christ. Its not to say that they don’t ever help those less fortunate. In fact, it is one of their best recruiting tools. Their hidden agenda for helping those people? To help them find God. Their intentions aren’t pure and out of the kindness of their hearts.  They prey on these people in their darkest hours and when they are at their most vulnerable. Because these people are in such a fragile state, these so called “Christians” are able to brainwash these people into finding God, much in the same way they were brainwashed into finding God. Its a vicious circle. And as we know, the more people they have, the more power they have. It never ends.

Now, I know that for these Christians, abortion, evolution and preventing gay rights are important issues. If I were a Christian, they might be important to me too, so dedicating some time and money to is is justifiable, even though I disagree 100% with those views. My issue here, is that true, Christian values should be more important. Helping others that are less fortunate, being compassionate and loving others SHOULD be their number one priority. They shouldn’t be fighting for those values. I suspect that most people reading this agree with me. But, if you don’t, consider this. We live in a world that lacks enough love to go around for everybody. There is more than enough hate to go around for everybody, yet not nearly enough food, shelter and clothes.  Christianity is supposed to be about bringing people together, yet for far to long, Christian leaders have divided people and pushed them further and further apart. Its not to say that any other religions are not guilty of the same atrocities, because they are. But, Christianity is the most popular religion in the most powerful country and therefore, we as a country have an obligation to lead the way. Once poverty and starvation are wiped off the planet, then maybe they can consider making the Holy Trinity their main focus. But as long as people starve, go to sleep hungry in the streets, Christianity should be following the teachings of Christ. They should be preaching to help those less fortunate. Let me ask you this, when was the last time you saw or heard a Christian leader speak up for those less fortunate? Every time you see them, they are focused on the abortion, evolution and preventing advancement of rights for gays, among other things.

It all starts with us. We need to demand the change. We need to insist that the focus is helping others. That is your war, people. The war is not against other people, people who just disagree with your beliefs. The war is against death, starvation and poverty. The war is to help others live real lives, instead of struggling to live and not know where their next meal is going to come from. People shouldn’t have to choose between which child gets to eat today or have to worry about being attacked by animals and the elements because they are homeless. Everybody can help these people, it doesn’t matter if you are Christian, Jewish, Islam, Atheist, Buddhist, black, white, gay or straight. This is the message that Christianity needs to put out. This is what Jesus would teach.

These are my words, the words of an atheist. If I GET Christianity, shouldn’t Christians?

Please feel free to share this with anybody. It all starts with us.

There are no 2 greater words for a baseball fan than opening day. And I am so excited about baseball and my beloved Cubs being back. I want to stress though that I’m not nuts about this, I’m realistic about the Cubs chances this year. A lot of Cub fans have them in the playoffs because they spent a lot of money in the off season. I see it for what it is, they spent a lot of money, but not wisely, it was dumb money. With how bad they were last year, I think a 500 record is about where they should be, which would not be good enough to get them into the playoffs. Still, what doesn’t make any sense is that I’m still very excited about this season, as I am every year. Every year, this team lets me down and in some cases, totally breaks my heart and yet, at the start of each year, I’m so excited for the season to start. I’ve said before and I will say it again, its a disease, a damn fucking disease. Every year I like to try to predict the World Series and then at the end of the year, look back at how stupid I was. Well, this year is no different. Red Sox beating the Dodgers is what I say. The White Sox will be strong again, but no playoffs, they are just in too tough of a division and too tough of a league. You know what, fuck it, I just thought about something. The way things are going, 2004 the Red Sox win, 05 the White Sox, 06 the Cardinals, each of these teams a dagger straight through the heart of Cub fans. So with that, I should change my pick to either the Brewers or the Mets winning it all this year because it would only add to the misery of Cub fans.

Big news today, though, the Cubs are for sale! Or, at least they will be for sale after the season. Its not like we couldn’t see this one coming though, they have been spending money like never before and the Tribune Company (they own the Cubs) have been financially struggling and they have been talking about selling assets for the past year. The Tribune and all of its assets have been sold, but as is my understanding, they will sell the Cubs before that sale of the Tribune is final. So, if anybody wants to float me a little bit of money, say, in the neighborhood of $350 million, it would be very appreciated.

More good news, I got a $100 American Express gift card today for my perfect attendance for last year. Also, I’m going to be getting a jacket with my company name on it. I have now not missed a day since Feb of 2005. I’m very lucky, though, I have been able to stay healthy and not had anything unexpected come up, such as car issues. Plus, it helps that I don’t have any kids, so that has made a big difference as well.

I have never been a normal person, so why would my disorders be any different. I think I might be OCD, but here is the thing, its only when I’m sleeping. Now, you might be asking yourself “how the fuck does one have OCD in their sleep?” Trust me, if anybody is going to have OCD in their sleep, its me. Well, let me attempt to explain. I always have trouble sleeping, its just the way I am, I’m very hyper and my mind is always going. I wake up often each night baffled as to what time it is, even though I look squarely at the clock and it says something like 2:13 in the fucking morning or 5:28 in the stupid fucking morning. I don’t get up until 6:30, but this only adds to the confusion. Now, here is where the OCD part comes in. When I wake up in the middle of the night, I’m confused and have no idea what is going on. So, I re-set my alarm, just to make sure it is set. Then, I reset it again, just to make sure its set. I then put my head back down and fall right back to sleep. I barely remember doing this, in fact, I’m usually not completely conscious when I do it. I also do other odd things in my sleep to, like………….well, take off my underwear, which is the only thing I wear to bed. If I had a million damn dollars  for everytime I went to bed with underwear on and woke up not wearing anything, well, I just might have enough to buy the Cubs. The funny part is that I will wake up in the middle of the night, take off my boxers and then proceed to whip them across the room, you know, kind of like I’m trying to scare off a fly. And its not like I’m taking any sort of sleeping pills to be doing this odd shit, I’m doing this with out the anything. The thing is, I think if I play my cards right, I might be able to profit from this. Maybe I should film it all and put it on the internet. Shit, people would pay money to see somebody do some weird shit in his sleep. If it weren’t for the OCD, every night would be something different. And plus there is a potential for nudity, well, that’s all the more reason for people to pay. When it comes to the internet, people don’t care if the person is not attractive, just as long as they are naked. So tomorrow you might see videos of me sleeping and doing crazy shit. I just hope I don’t get really nuts and sleepwalk to Bolingbrook like my brother in law did years ago.

Whenever I use the term OCD, the song “Opp” by Naughty By Nature goes through my head and I replace the lyrics and instead sing “You down wit OCD, Yeah you know me, whose down wit OCD?”

This is as good as an excuse as ever to post the lyrics to this song since I can’t think of another time in which I would post the lyrics. Still, its a funny song and I realized something by reading the lyrics: pussy and penis have the same number of letters.

Harm me with harmony
Dave drop a load on ‘em
OPP, how can I explain it
I’ll take you frame by frame it
To have y’all jumpin’ shall we singin’ it
O is for Other, P is for People scratchin’ temple
The last P…well…that’s not that simple
It’s sorta like another way to call a cat a kitten
It’s five little letters that are missin’ here
You get on occassion at the other party
As a game ‘n it seems I gotta start to explainin’
Bust it
You ever had a girl and met her on a nice hello
You get her name and number and then you feelin’ real mellow
You get home, wait a day, she’s what you wanna know about
Then you call up and it’s her girlfriend or her cousin’s house
It’s not a front, F to the R to the O to the N to the T
It’s just her boyfriend’s at her house (Boy, that’s what is scary)
It’s OPP, time other people’s what you get it
There’s no room for relationship there’s just room to hit it
How many brothers out there know just what I’m gettin’ at
Who thinks it’s wrong ‘cos I’m splittin’ and co-hittin’ at
Well if you do, that’s OPP and you’re not down with it
But if you don’t, here’s your membership
Chorus:
You down with OPP (Yeah you know me) 3X
Who’s down with OPP (Every last homie)
You down with OPP (Yeah you know me) 3X
Who’s down with OPP (All the homies)
As for the ladies, OPP means something gifted
The first two letters are the same but the last is something
different
It’s the longest, loveliest, lean– I call it the leanest
It’s another five letter word rhymin’ with cleanest and meanest
I won’t get into that, I’ll do it…ah…sorta properly
I say the last P…hmmm…stands for property
Now lady here comes a kiss, blow a kiss back to me, now tell me
exactly
Have you ever known a brother who have another like ah girl or wife
And you just had to stop and just ‘cos he look just as nice
You looked at him, he looked at you and you knew right away
That he had someone but he was gonna be yours anyway
You couldn’t be seen with him and honestly you didn’t care
‘Cos in a room behind a door no one but y’all are there
When y’all are finish, y’all can leave and only y’all would know
And then y’all could throw the skeleton bones right in the closet do’
Now don’t be shocked ‘cos if you’re down I want your hands up high
Say OPP (OPP) I like to say with pride
Now when you do it, do it well and make sure that it counts
You’re now down with a discount
Chorus:
You down with OPP (Yeah you know me) 3X
Who’s down with OPP (Every last lady)
You down with OPP (Yeah you know me) 3X
Who’s down with OPP (All the ladies)
This girl ah tried to OPP me
I had a girl and she knew that matter-of-fact my girl was partner’s
that
Had a fall out, disagreement, yeah an argument
She tried to do me so we did it in my apartment, bust it
That wasn’t the thing it must have been the way she hit the ceiling
‘Cos after that she kept on coming back and catchin’ feelings
I said, “Let’s go my girl is coming so you gotta leave“
She said, “Oh no, I love you Treach” I said, “Now child please“
You gots to leave, come grab your coat, right now you gotta go
I said now look you to the stairs and to the stairwindow
This was a thing, a little thing, you shouldn’t have put your heart
‘Cos you know I was OPP, hell from the very start
Come on, come on, now let me tell you what it’s all about
When you get down, you can’t go ’round runnin’ off at the mouth
That’s rule number one in this OPP establishment
You keep your mouth shut and it won’t get back to her or him
Exciting isn’t it, a special kinda business
Many of you will catch the same sorta OPP is you with
Him or her for sure is going to admit it
When OPP comes, damn– skippy I’m with it
Chorus:
You down with OPP (Yeah you know me) 3X
Who’s down with OPP (This whole party)
You down with OPP (Yeah you know me) 3X
Who’s down with OPP (This whole party)
Break it down!

Ahhhh, Palm Sunday, what better way for me to spend it than using my palm!

I didn’t have much going on this weekend, so I decided to rent a movie. Ok, so it actually turned into 4 movies, 3 of which I have already watched. One of them was a documentary called Jesus Camp, which was downright frightening, but more on that movie later this week. Another one was Fast Food Nation, which was not a documentary, but it might as well have been. It makes such a strong statement on fast food and meat production in this country that it left me wondering if I will ever eat fast food again. Then again, I have gone a couple of years without eating fast food, so its not like it would be a big loss. Still, there are a lot of extras on the dvd that really make you think. Sure, the movie itself was kind of average, but it was the message and meaning of the movie that is the real value of the movie. A lot of the stuff about how they treat the cows in the fast food industry I already knew, but how they slaughter the cows and treat the workers at these meat packing plants I did not know. Sure, this is just a fictional movie, but judging by the extra on the dvd, I think it is probably an accurate depiction of the industry. Now, I have never been an animal rights person, but even I have some limits to treatment of animals. Plus, the whole process is not healthily for anybody who eats this type of food. The whole thing is a damn disaster, and most people don’t even know it. Sure, there are many reasons to stop or  cut back on eating fast food, but if all of those obvious reasons (including the ones I have mentioned) don’t make you change, than I will be disgustingly honest. When you eat fast food, you are a lot more gassy and spend more time on the shitter. You don’t realize it until you stop eating that way how much better the food flows through your body. Your stomach feels better, you just in general, are healthier. This, if for no other reason, should make you realize how unhealthy this stuff is and automatically question how it is made. Sure, it tastes good, but honestly, put your typical fast food meal up against a normal cooked meal and to be honest, its no competition.

Last night, Mark, Amy and Addison came over for dinner. John made chilli, which always kicks ass. After dinner, we had ice cream from Coldstone, which was good, but probably a little bit over priced. Anywho, we sat around talking and watching some shows on the Discovery times channel on serial killers. Finally, about 10:30, we had a knock on the door, which was probably a little scary because of what we were watching. But, as John pointed out, a serial killer is not going to knock before coming in. Turns out, it was Dave. He bought a new car, trading in his Escort for a Chrysler Pacificia. Its pretty damn nice. Of course, Kelli will be the one driving it everyday since she takes Natalie to daycare. But, for the first time since I’ve known him, Dave no longer has a Ford Escort. This thing was well past its time, it was 13 years old and had many problems, I’m not even going to get into it because Dave tells the story about the car’s condition much better than I do. Still, to show how bad it was, he got only $50 for the car, and by his own admission, he thought that was a lot. As he was leaving my house he said that now Randy is alone in driving a car that is old and in need of being replaced.

You know, if you went on musical taste to determine somebody’s sexuality, than I’m completely straight and my brothers are both gay. Last night, Mark and John were talking about cds that they own. Just listen to these gay ass cds they have: Wilson Phillips, Celine Dion, Michael Bolton, Mariah Carey, Elton John, and Bon Jovi among others. See, I’m not saying that they are bad………….ok, some of them are. But, all I’m saying is that those are all either chick music or gay guy music. Bon Jovi is John’s favorite band of all time, and when you think about it, chicks are Bon Jovi’s main fan base. Sure, guys might like some of their songs, but most guys only listen to Bon Jovi and go to the concerts to get laid. Now, I’m not saying that I love the most masuline music, after all, I’m a big Sheryl Crow fan and have owned some Mariah cds back in the day myself. But, for the most part, I’m not into any of your typical gay music or chick shit. You won’t find any Celine Dion or Wilson Phillips in my collection. And although Mark and John do like most of the same stuff I like (Metallica, The Black Eyed Peas, Mellencamp, Van Halen, among many others), but I’m just saying based on music, they are gayer than me.