You know what’s kind of cool, weird and mysterious about people? They can do pretty much anything and you would never know. For example, just think of co-workers. Now, certainly, a percentage of straight people take it in the ass, the question is, who? I would bet its the people you would least suspect. It could be older people, maybe over the age of 50 and they are all into ass fucking and blow jobs and you could have this in common with them and yet you never know because for obvious, disgusting reasons, you don’t talk about it. Or maybe they trim or even shave the whole damn forest…………….they could be walking around as smooth as a baby’s ass and everybody else is none the wiser. And let’s not limit this to co-workers, it could be friends and relatives too. Just think of how creepy the mere thought is of your relatives in this context and yet, I had to bring it up. And it doesn’t stop with sex or the pubic region. Any of these people could be pot smokers or alcoholics and you wouldn’t know. Maybe they have a dark side in which they beat their family members or neighbors. Or, maybe they are Satan worshipers but can not come out of the Satan loving closet for fear of a judgmental Christian backlash. Maybe they have flied for bankruptcy or have trouble managing their money. Maybe they have done illegal shit, like stolen something or tried to have sex with the dude in the next stall. And its not only in the present time either. Just think about all the crazy shit that people might have done 5, 10, 25 years ago that you would be blown away to find out. Really, when you think about it, the possibilities are endless. So the next time the boss pisses you off, just think “he must be mad because his wife wouldn’t fuck him in the ass with her dildo last night.”

CUBS WIN!!! CUBS WIN!!! CUBS WIN!!!!! I guess you can probably tell, I’m pretty damn excited. Of course, I do realize its not even September, but this was still a big game, the start of the biggest series in the Cubs-Brewers rivalry. Now the Brewers can not possibly leave Chicago in first place. Its hard to not be excited, the Cubs are in first place and its almost September. Now they have made me believe and you know what that means? They have set me up for heartbreak once again. Still, I have to keep reminding myself that none of those other years have any effect on this season, so honestly, anything can happen. Now that the Cardinals are in 2nd place, its going to make my trip to see the Cubs in St Louis (Sept 14) that much more exciting. Of course, a lot could happen between now and then, but shit, the Brewers are sinking faster than the Titanic and could very well be out of it by then. That was a bad analogy, after all, didn’t it take the Titanic a long time to sink? Ah, what the hell do I know, I never even saw the movie.

Read the article first:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070829/ap_on_go_co/craig_arrest

Its not often that I defend a Republican, not that I wouldn’t, its just that its so rare that they do anything that is worthy of defending. Usually, the stuff they do is so evil and despicable that a normal, sane person can not defend it. But honestly, I can not see the big deal about what  Senator Larry Craig of Idaho did. So he approached somebody for sex in the can, so fucking what. Honestly, I had no idea it was illegal to approach somebody for sex in public. Now I know sex in public is illegal, but who is to say he wasn’t just asking if this undercover officer was interested in sex with the intention of getting busy in a private place. I mean, after all, in bars when people try to hook up with other people, they usually don’t have sex in the bar, normally they go some place private to fuck. Do you realize how much LESS sex would be going on if people could not approach people in public about wanting to have sex? Shit, if that were the case, than Pauly Shore would be a virgin. Man, Pauly fucking Shore…………..what a waste of human space. But, I digress. And just read about how they caught him? Its actually funny as hell when you picture it, him looking in between the crack of the stall like some kind of pervert. After going in the next stall, he put his bag in front of the door. Then, in what I feel is the funniest part of the story, he starts tapping his foot like he is a racehorse waiting to run. He then hands his business card underneath the door to try to impress the guy. How fucking funny is all of this? If he knows all of the moves, than he probably has done this time and time again. Still, I fail to see how this is a crime.

Even though he has pleaded guilty, of course, he has denied the whole thing and is insisting that he isn’t gay. Why is it that Republicans are the only ones that are outed in such a crazy fashion. They spend their whole careers trying to find ways to hold gays back so that it makes them look straight, but instead, they are gay. Man, they must have some pretty intense self loathing to go to those lengths. And people think that Jewish people are self loathing. Its obvious this dude is gay, just like its obvious that Rev Ted and Mark Foley are gay. Oh Reverend Ted, one has to wonder how your homosexuality cure is going. You probably have to resort to trying to pick up guys in airport bathrooms.

Shit, I almost forgot to mention, over the weekend I went to a bbq and burn at The Compound. Keith’s mom, Cathy, bought some chocolate marshmallows to roast over the fire! Its about damn fucking time they came out with chocolate marshmallows. Shit, I’m almost embarrassed that I didn’t come up with the idea……………not that I would have done anything with it, knowing my history, you would think I would at least think about such a product. Anywho, as you might expect, they totally kicked all sorts of ass. The best way to describe them would be that they kind of tasted like Count Chocula marshmallows, except all grown up. And you all know how I loves me some Count Chocula.

At the beginning of the year, (read the post from 01/01/07) you might recall how I wrote that 25% of Americans (mostly……..no, all 25% are stupid) believe that Jesus would be making his comeback this year. So, how did that work out for them? Well, here we are, almost September and we are still waiting. Now don’t get me wrong, we still have 4 months left in the year in which he can arrive, but honestly, even those 25% have to admit that things aren’t looking so good at this point. I mean, there haven’t been any signs of him, no Jesus spottings at truck stops, no tours announced and no Jesus infomercials saying where you can meet him. Nothing. There have been some other comebacks though. I mean, who would have ever thought that the Police would reunite and comeback? The Eagles, they are set to release their first album in 28 years. Van Halen, they are SUPPOSED to tour with David Lee Roth, the way that band is, you can probably count on Jesus coming back before they do. Now some people will point to the above reunions as signs that Jesus is on his way, but I don’t, after all, its the greed of money (and in David Lee Roth’s case, the greed of not having to live underneath an overpass since they will be touring) and the pickings of old pussy at ever tour stop that brings them back. Other people say that the storms we have had combined with the wars going on are a sure sign that JC is about to come riding down from Heaven to help save the day. If there is a Heaven then he better sure as hell hurry his ass up because I’m quite certain that coming from Heaven has got to be a long ride. And as for those 25%, you might want to stop blowing your retirement savings on Jesus statues and new church clothing because it looks like you will be needing it after all.

Today was our annual family reunion/picnic. Normally, it is just the same 50 people that go, but this year, our cousins, Jimmy and Alan,  from Florida actually showed up. Jimmy and Alan were the first set of twins in our family, so this meant that for the first time, and maybe for the only time, all 3 sets of twins in my family were at the same place. Of course, they are quite a bit older than us (they are actually 46) but it was cool to see them. Alan actually looks a lot like Dave Grohl from the Foo Fighters. Jimmy has made tons of money doing one of those get rich over a gradual course of time schemes. After being up here, they (he, his wife and step daughter) will be driving to Canada, then New York followed by Pittsburgh before going home to Florida. It almost sounds like a road trip that a baseball team would take.

In our family, baseball/softball is a big deal. You know how the Kennedys have football, while we have softball/baseball. Everybody in our family is a baseball fan and although this might come as a surprise to some, our extended family has some White Sox fans. Sure, the majority of us are Cub fans, but its not like this was a reunion of short, Italians running around with a bunch of Cubs stuff on. Anywho, every year we play softball. Since we play with a 16 inch, I love to pitch because I can catch it and it probably will not kill me if it hits me in the head. This year’s game was fun, but nothing too crazy happened. For example, previous years John slide for a fly ball in center only to have it hit him in the balls. Another year, one of my extended cousins broke his fingers. Another year, I bruised my cousin’s shin when I slid into her at second base. Last year, I got ran over by my 14 year old cousin in one inning and a couple of innings later got run into and knocked to the ground by John. There was nothing like that in this year’s game, although it was still pretty fun.

I forgot t mention this, but a couple of weeks ago, I watched Raging Bull for the first time. Quite honestly, I don’t know what took me so long, it is after all,  not only a Scorsese movie, but also quite possibly DeNiro’s best roll. I have to say, I really liked it, it was pretty good. A lot of people don’t know this, but Scorsese wanted Mary Kate and Ashley Olson to play DeNiro’s wife, but it turns out they were not born for another 6 years.

Ok, it looks like motherfucking Mother Nature didn’t get the damn message to FUCKING STOP RAINING!!! It stormed last night. It stormed overnight as well, once again I was woken up by a storm. Today at work at about 2:40 in the pm the tornado sirens went off and we all had to go down to the first floor hallway or pile into a stairwell. I was one of those that was stuck in the stairwell, which was bad, but I was also next to this hot dude, which was good. We spent about an hour down there waiting for the damn storm to pass, if you can believe that. Finally we go back upstairs and everything was fine. The people that leave at 5 left and those of us stuck there until 6 stood. About 5:30, I see it was starting to get dark again, but nothing too bad, although I heard on the radio that there was a pretty fierce line of storms in the county next to us Kane Count, which was really close, in fact, we were only a few miles from Kane County. 10 minutes later, it got really dark. I could see the clouds and rain rolling in, it actually looked pretty cool. Although it had not started raining yet, I knew it would start very soon. I even told my co workers that it would probably start to pour right about 5:55, just in time for us to go home. Sure enough, 5:55 came and it was POURING, complete with heavy wind and frequent lightening. Earlier during the first round of storms, somebody said they saw lightening strike a light pole in the parking lot, so me being quite a big wuss, I was afraid to go to my car. But, I was not the only person, in fact, there was about 12 of us that were standing inside for 10 minutes waiting to leave. Finally, it slowed down a bit and I sprinted from the door to my car, which was the start of a very tense and stressful drive home. Traffic was actually pretty good, to be honest, it probably only took me 5 minutes longer to get home. But, constant sheets of rain came down literally the whole 35 minute drive home. In fact, I had my wipers on full power the whole way. Now granted, for part of the drive I was riding with the storm, but still, it was amazing that the rain could fall that hard for that long. Accompanying the rain was wind and lightening, making it a severe storm trifecta! And here we are 2 hours later and the rain is still falling (although not nearly as hard, now it is actually reasonable) and I can still hear some rumbles of thunder. And you know what? I still think we might get more.

You might have missed this, but it is too damn important for me not to write about it. It seems that Bush is trying to sell weapons to the Saudi royal family. Yeah, this is a great idea, I wonder how this one will work out? Now keep in mind that Bush tried to use the history of WWII, Korea, and Vietnam to show why we can’t leave Iraq. Let’s indulge this genius for a second and say that he is right about leaving Iraq with regards to the things that happened in Vietnam. Thinking about history, didn’t we sell weapons not only to Iraq, but also to Iran? An we also have sold weapons to Bin Laden back in the 1980s to help him against the Russians. I just think that when it comes to us selling shit, we probably should stop selling weapons. I mean, can’t we find other things to sell, like fat? We have such as surplus of fat people, why not give them liposuction and sell that to the Saudi royal family. After all, have you seen these people? They are so fucking thin, they can really use the fat. Or how about selling some of our illegal immigrants that all of these Republicans hate so much? Of course, selling people is probably not very moral and ethical, but just think about the money we can make? Its just heartless and cruel enough for these Republicans to do. Also, is there a way we can bottle some of the pollution that we have and sell that? See, there is no end to the shit that we can sell instead of weapons. Now, I know the things I have come up with are pretty fucking crazy and downright mean, but I’m only suggesting them as a way to show how FUCKING NUTS it would be to sell weapons to the Saudi royal family. See, they might be our friends now, but our friends now usually turn out to be our enemy tomorrow. And please, correct me if I’m wrong on this one, but didn’t we help put Castro into power? Come to think of it, we have got a HORRIBLE track record of helping and supporting people and then they turn out to be way worse than what was there previously. Its almost like we should be doing background checks before we help these fuckers. Or maybe they should give us references. Its like the girl that meets a wonderful guy, goes out on several dates, falls for him and then finds out that he is some sort of two timing creep who beats her. We need to be more selective about who we choose. There almost needs to be a match.com for countries, so that we are not matching with somebody who is evil.

There has been a lot of discussion lately about what should happen to dog hater Michael Vick, at least as far as the NFL is concerned. Should he be banned for life, maybe a suspension for a year, or the standard NFL suspension of 8 games. Personally, I think a suspension of a year sounds right. You have to do be consistent with other crimes committed by NFL players, for example, Pac Man Jones got a whole year, Tank Johnson 8 games. Sure, what Vick has done is worse than both of those players, but this is also his first transgression, those 2 losers have done lots of shit. For all of those people that want to say that he should be banned for life, here is my argument as to why he shouldn’t: Leonard Little. He unfortunately plays for the St Louis Rams instead of for a prison team, which is where he should be. 8 years ago he murdered somebody and yet he is not only a free man, but he continues to play in the NFL, after serving only 90 days in jail. Now I should be clear about something. He was drunk driving when he killed an innocent person, but honestly, that doesn’t change the fact that somebody is dead because of his irresponsible actions. Somehow, the justice system is totally out of whack because he only served 90 days instead of a more reasonable sentence of 2 years. Next, the NFL let him back in after serving a suspension of only 8 games. To make matters even worse, 6 years later, after the murder conviction was removed from his record, he got another DUI. That says to me that he just couldn’t wait until it was removed from his record before he started driving drunk again. In other words, he had not learned a thing from taking another person’s life and quite obviously showed no remorse for what he had done. Of course, that was obvious because the first thing he said after the accident was “Look what that bitch did to my car!”.  The NFL had a chance to correct this injustice by never allowing him to play again, yet he continues on. Sure there are some people that say the murder was an accident and yes, I can agree that he probably did not intend to kill somebody that night. But keep in mind that he CHOSE to drive drunk and when one CHOOSES to drive drunk, they automatically should be responsible for all of the consequences with such irresponsible and dangerous behavior. Right now there are people calling for Vick’s head, and rightfully so. But where were these people when Little killed a person and not some dogs? Where was the media coverage? Sure, MADD did protest his first game after his suspension. But, there was no national outcry for justice as there has been with Michael Vick. By all means, I’m not defending Vick, he will get what he has coming to him. But, why is it that a lot of people are more compassionate and humane when it comes to animals and not people?

Now I realize the irony in changing subjects to this, but by now I’m sure you have all heard (especially those of you in Chicago) about the illegal immigrant who was living in a Chicago church to avoid being deported. As I’m sure you know, she left the church and was deported back to Mexico, leaving her kid behind. The Immigration Department refused to go in the church to get her. Here is what I don’t understand, since when did a church become a safe haven for criminals? Now I want to state that I’m not one of these right wing whackos that wants to deport immigrants immediately and never allow another immigrant inside the country. Play along with me here for a second and break it down. Being an illegal immigrant is a crime, making her a criminal. So does this mean that any criminal can hide in a church and be guaranteed immunity from arrest and prosecution? If this is the case, than that essentially means that Bin Laden can come to America and hide out in a church and be safe. Ok, so that is an extreme case, but please somebody explain to me why we refused to go in and get her?

Toby dropped my applications for a couple of building permits off at the village hall today. See, I need one permit to replace the shingles and another to replace the siding. I think that is a bit crazy, but its not like they are going to charge me $75 for them; I  figured it would probably be like $15 for each of them which is really nothing. Well, as it turns out, the Village of Romeoville is in the business of strong arming their residents, or so it seems. That’s right, the total for the building permits is $7fucking5! Now keep in mind I’m not building a brand new garage, shit, I’m not even rebuilding this existing garage. To make matters even more fucking stupid and crazy, technically, they can turn me down for BOTH permits. Although I do not find that likely, it would be funny if they did seeing as they are the ones that are making me fix my garage. Could you imagine though if they did? On one hand, I would be in trouble for NOT fixing it, yet if I go ahead and fix it, I could be in trouble. Oh well, I’m sure it won’t be a problem, although it would make for a great post if it turns out to be an issue.

I just had an erection that lasted 4 hours or longer.

A couple of things I forgot to write about over the weekend. I found out a guy that I play cards with has the exact same birthday as Mark and I, October 7, 1975. Pretty wild, huh? I mean how unusual to know 2 people born on the exact same day as me. Ok, so one of them is my twin brother, which really makes the story so much less amazing. Come to think of it, just ignore this whole damn story.

Will somebody please turn of the giant hose that has been spraying the whole damn Chicagoland area with nearly constant rain for the past damn week. Ok, so maybe it has not been constant and it has not been for an entire week, but it just seems like its been raining a lot this month. And what is even worse is that its supposed to rain pretty much every day this week. Now how the hell is my garage supposed to be fixed if it never stops raining? With the way things are going, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Village has some sort of working in the rain tax or maybe a rain delay permit.

Its now 4 hours, 3 minutes and 48 seconds. Or longer.

Yesterday we played Whirley Ball. Of course, I was the first one to arrive, getting there shortly after 1:30 in the pm. While I waited for everybody else to show up, I pumped some music in the jukebox. After a few minutes, Dave, Jt, Lance and his cute friend showed up. We wound up getting started a little late, not until about 2:10 which really sucked because with Whirley Ball, your hour starts at the top of the hour no matter if your game starts then or not. We had just 10 people to start and soon Scooty and Kris (with the baby) showed up while we played the first game. We won the first game and everybody took a quick break to grab beer before the next game. For the 2nd game, I wound up in a very crappy car which ran like a John Deere, very loud and bumpy. For some reason, the Sanford and Son song was playing in my head while I was in the car. Next game I switched teams and was in an even worse car. Sure, it was quieter and a smoother ride, but it did not want to move. It was during this game that Lance took my racket out of my hand and threw it in the corner. You really had to be there to see this, but I drove around in a circle about 5 or 6 times trying to pick this damn thing up, each time just missing it. The whole time, Kris stood there watching this and laughing……………I can’t blame her though, it was funny as hell. The next game I still wound up in that same fucking car because I tried sitting out the game but we needed another player and I had to play. The next game I played, I decided to do everything I could to bother the hell out of Dave. See, he was doing all sorts of things to cheat, such as using his hands or hitting people with his racket. It was funny, but after over an hour of his shit, it got old, which is kind of how things are for Dave, he has always been the kind of person that goes too damn far. In the last game, Keith had the piece of shit car I had that wouldn’t go anywhere. He really wound up getting fucked, because it only went right so he pretty much just drove around in circles for 15 minutes. Come to think of it, its kinda like riding in a car with Keith. What totally pissed us off about this is the lack of customer service from the Whirley Ball staff. During the games, there is a worker who stands above the court in a box watching over the whole damn thing. In this case, it was some girl who seemed a helluva lot more interested in talking to her girlfriend than paying any damn bit of attention to our game. Still, she had to notice this piece of shit car. Before the last game, Mark told her that the car wasn’t working and needed to be replaced, all she said was that she would “watch it” this game. While, she just sat there watching Keith be stuck and didn’t do anything about it. So, Mark was yelling at her to get rid of the car and she said there wasn’t enough time left in the game to exchange cars. So, after our time was up, another group of people came on the court. While the worker lady was giving instructions, I told another worker outside the court that the car wasn’t working. He basically said that it was ok, even though I knew damn well it wasn’t ok. So, I went into the court and told the worker in front of the next group of people that the car wasn’t working. She mumbled something back to me and still did not remove this car. So, the game started and guess what? The damn car still was not working. Finally 5 minutes into the game, the got rid of the damn thing. I found this rather horrible that it took this long to change this car, after all, Whirley Ball costs $150 an hour (this is for everybody, not per person) and its too damn much to waste time with a piece of shit car.

After Whirley Ball, we went to Hooters and hung out there for a while. Scott’s card game, in the Oswego/Montgomery area was set for 6 in the pm, but I knew that those games never start on time, so I didn’t even leave there until 6. I wound up getting there about 6:35 and we still had to wait at least another half hour for everybody to get there. I was at a table with feminine guy who was very cute. He was married, though, but probably has homosexual thoughts. Still, I managed to keep him and his friend laughing for most of the night. He had another friend who was a little bit out there (although they were probably saying the same thing about me), or so I thought once I found out he is writing a book about terrorists that blow up Yankee Stadium, Cowboy Stadium, a McDonald’s and some other places. He told me that he might need to find a new church if his book ever gets published, to which I replied that it was ok “you don’t need any of that God stuff.” He and his friends did not react well to this statement, which is when I realized that they might be some crazy Christians. Later on in the night after the one dude could not bring himself to say ass or butt, I realized they were Jesus-aholics. And as they were leaving, the one dude had what appeared to be a get out jail free card, only it was slightly different. It was a Jesus card and he wanted to give it to me. He said that even though I said that I didn’t need God, I should read this card. At first I took it and looked at it and said that I wasn’t interested, would not read it because I have already learned enough out Christianity but I would take the card. He started to tell me that it changed his life about 10 years ago, which was when I decided to give it back to him, only he refused to take it. I told him I was an atheist and did not want it, but he kept giving it to me. He then said something that really pissed me off (although I did not react like I  was pissed) saying that I needed it. Ok Jesus freak, who the hell are you to tell me what I need. He handed me the card and started to walk out, but I was determined not to take this damn card. So as he walked away, I stuffed it down the back of his shirt and walked away. He looked back and gave me a kind of “you fucker” smile and walked off.

After that I was talking to another guy that I have been playing cards with for several years. He is very liberal and for lack of a better term, an atheist as well. He said something which I found very different. We were talking about gays and he said that he believes gays should have full and complete rights, as many rights as straight people. But then he said that he is convinced that homosexuality is a choice. I don’t know what to make of his stance. I mean, I know its not a choice, however he supports us in every way that matters. So, its almost like no harm, no foul, in other words, you support us, so your belief that it is a choice does not hurt us at all. I have yet to talk about this with other gays, so I’m interested to hear their take on the situation.

Speaking of gay, I’ve said it before and I will say it again, Scott is a closet homosexual. Last night, he said something to me that no other straight guy would ever say. He said if the Cubs make the playoffs, he would jerk me off. Keep in mind he said this in front of EVERYBODY. I spent the rest of the night making fun of him for saying it. Soon though, he backed off his statement and said that what he meant was if it would guarantee the Cubs making the playoffs, he would give me a hand job. I kept telling him that I had a roomful of witnesses as to what he said. Its only a matter of time, even if its 10 years from now when he has a midlife crisis, in which he comes out of the closet and divorces his wife.

As for the games, in the first game I finished 3rd out of 11 people to win $20 (that was $20 after I paid $20 to play) and the second game I took first place out of 7 people to win $100. It looks like a pretty good profit, but for the weekend, I’m down about $800, as Whirley Ball and Hooters were pricey and I spent a lot of money today to buy everything I’m going to need to have my garage nearly replaced. Toby took me today to Home Depot and we picked up all of the aforementioned supplies. Just getting everything wound up taking nearly 5 hours as we had to make 3 trips to Home Depot. And if you have been to Home Depot, you know that everything takes a long time, as it seems like there is never anybody around to help you when you need help.

That’s all for now people. Wow. This whole post kind of sucked, not very entertaining at all. Eh, I’ll get ‘em tomorrow.

Oh, what a glorious day! I think this might be one of the greatest days of my life. Comcast has given us a 3rd CSPAN!!! Ohhhhh, its hard to temper the excitement, because in addition to the 3rd CSPAN, I also found out that there was a 2nd CSPAN as well! Imagine, becoming 3 times more CSPANy in the course of only a few minutes. How are they gonna pull this one off, doesn’t CSPAN have only one camera? Ok, that was an old Saturday Night Live joke, but I had to use it. Oh, by the way, as if you couldn’t tell, I’m being sarcastic. I just can’t imagine needing another CSAPN, I mean you can only cover so much of the president or Congress being on vacation before it just gets boring. And should it be one of the 3 days a year in which both houses of Congress and the president are actually working, I’m quite certain one channel can handle it. Then again, maybe its kind of like how ESPN has ESPN Classic in which they play classic sports, maybe on CSPAN 3 they will play classic CSPAN moments.

I went to a couple of websites the other night that compare presidential candidates to find out who you agree with the most. One of the other sites gives you a grid of each candidate and where they stand on each issue. The candidate I agreed with on 83% of all of the issues was Barrack Obama, which should not come at a surprise at all. Anywho, here is a link of the sites.

http://flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=868063604&size=o
http://www.politichoice.com/resultsanalysis.aspx?Page=1

Oh, and in case you were wondering, Sam Brownback is totally fucking nuts and would be far worse than Bush. I read an article/interview with  him in Rolling Stone and although I don’t have the link (I hope to have it again), believe me, he is a total fucking whack job. Damn. I wish I had time to post more. Gotta run. Later.

You know what really grosses me the fuck out? People that go complete ape shit with bodybuilding. You know the type I’m talking about, they have muscles that are practically bursting through the skin with more veins showing than expressways on a Chicagoland map. Why the fuck do they get so big? Maybe they are compensating for something, if you know what I mean. Its like they grow up, look down and say “OH CRAP!!! TINY PENIS, TINY PENIS!!!! What do I do, I have a TINY PENIS?” How do I know this? Because the skinny dudes always have the biggest cocks, since they don’t need to compensate for anything. And the best way to solve this so-called problem is to make EVERYTHING else comically large so that people will assume they have a large cock or to take the attention away from their tiny cock and focus it squarely on their massive biceps. Of course, the ironic part is that they probably would get more pleasure from a tiny penis, what with a tiny dick being easier to deep throat. So what do they do? The lift weights like crazy and in some cases take steroids, which supposedly make the cock-a-doodle-do even  smaller. Meanwhile, their body gets so damn big that they look like some kind of mutant freak that nobody wants to have sex with. And the thing is, its  not only guys that are into bodybuilding. Sure, most are men, but there are females that are into it as well. And you know what, it still comes back to the same thing: The schlong. For these ladies, they have taken the term penis envy to a whole different level. They start lifting weights and doing so many steroids that all of a sudden their clit gets so big that it actually winds up bigger than the sausages of the male bodybuilders. And how healthy can any of this be? After all, do you know of any of these people living to be any older than maybe 60 at the oldest. Of course, because they have done so much shit to their bodies, 47 looks like 64 and 60, well that looks like dead for 3 or 4 fucking years. Then there is the sex, should they manage to find somebody that can overlook their grotesque bodies and mis shaped genitalia. Now, sex with these people has got to be a fucking chore. For a girl sleeping with a male bodybuilder, there is the massive weight, as we know, muscle weighs more than fat. So, they have to hope they don’t get crushed by this massive beast of a man. Then there is fucking the female bodybuilder, shit that just sounds like it would hurt. I mean, how romantic could it possibly be if SHE carries you to the bedroom, throws you on the bed like you are some fucking rag doll and than literally tears your clothes right the fuck off of you. This would scare the shit out of any guy, but he is helpless to do anything about it, as she is stronger than him and she has him pinned down with her massive biceps and over sized clitoris. Do you think any of this would be a warning sign to these muscleheads? No, if anything they think the rest of the world is just weak and a bunch of pussies. But you know what? They can go on thinking that, right up until they drop dead at age 53 while the rest of us outlive them.