August 6, 2007

• Why the hell would anybody want a bobble head doll of the Empire Today carpet guy? For those of you that aren’t from the Chicagoland area, Empire Today is a carpet company in the area, everybody who has lived in the Chicagoland area knows who they are. Well, the Cubs are giving away a bobble head of the Empire dude at a game later this month. Unless some lonely housewife is going to use it to stare at while she masterbates, I see no use for the bobble head. By the way, he is not attractive in the least, so masterbating to it is very unlikely. And its not like children around the area have been dreaming of the day they could own an Empire Today bobble head. “Oh mommy, mommy, pleeeeeeeeease get me a bobble head of that weird dude from those commercials.” Its kind of like the equivalent of a bobble head of the Menard’s dude, who by the way, is creepy and kinda looks like Dave’s dad. I can just picture the Cubs blowing a game that day and everybody throwing the bobble heads onto the field. I can think of a ton of other bobble heads they can give away, like maybe an Eddie Vedder bobble head or Bill Murray. Or shit, even a bobble head of Mickey Mouse, but not the Empire dude. Can’t they just give out free carpeting to a few lucky fans instead?

  • 11:21 pm
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