August 14, 2007

• You know what really grosses me the fuck out? People that go complete ape shit with bodybuilding. You know the type I’m talking about, they have muscles that are practically bursting through the skin with more veins showing than expressways on a Chicagoland map. Why the fuck do they get so big? Maybe they are compensating for something, if you know what I mean. Its like they grow up, look down and say “OH CRAP!!! TINY PENIS, TINY PENIS!!!! What do I do, I have a TINY PENIS?” How do I know this? Because the skinny dudes always have the biggest cocks, since they don’t need to compensate for anything. And the best way to solve this so-called problem is to make EVERYTHING else comically large so that people will assume they have a large cock or to take the attention away from their tiny cock and focus it squarely on their massive biceps. Of course, the ironic part is that they probably would get more pleasure from a tiny penis, what with a tiny dick being easier to deep throat. So what do they do? The lift weights like crazy and in some cases take steroids, which supposedly make the cock-a-doodle-do even  smaller. Meanwhile, their body gets so damn big that they look like some kind of mutant freak that nobody wants to have sex with. And the thing is, its  not only guys that are into bodybuilding. Sure, most are men, but there are females that are into it as well. And you know what, it still comes back to the same thing: The schlong. For these ladies, they have taken the term penis envy to a whole different level. They start lifting weights and doing so many steroids that all of a sudden their clit gets so big that it actually winds up bigger than the sausages of the male bodybuilders. And how healthy can any of this be? After all, do you know of any of these people living to be any older than maybe 60 at the oldest. Of course, because they have done so much shit to their bodies, 47 looks like 64 and 60, well that looks like dead for 3 or 4 fucking years. Then there is the sex, should they manage to find somebody that can overlook their grotesque bodies and mis shaped genitalia. Now, sex with these people has got to be a fucking chore. For a girl sleeping with a male bodybuilder, there is the massive weight, as we know, muscle weighs more than fat. So, they have to hope they don’t get crushed by this massive beast of a man. Then there is fucking the female bodybuilder, shit that just sounds like it would hurt. I mean, how romantic could it possibly be if SHE carries you to the bedroom, throws you on the bed like you are some fucking rag doll and than literally tears your clothes right the fuck off of you. This would scare the shit out of any guy, but he is helpless to do anything about it, as she is stronger than him and she has him pinned down with her massive biceps and over sized clitoris. Do you think any of this would be a warning sign to these muscleheads? No, if anything they think the rest of the world is just weak and a bunch of pussies. But you know what? They can go on thinking that, right up until they drop dead at age 53 while the rest of us outlive them.

  • 11:46 pm
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