As I mentioned earlier, I watched a movie called Iraq For Sale the other day. Here is a link to the website:

http://iraqforsale.org/

This SHOULD anger you. A lot. Sure, everybody knows that the war is costing taxpayers hundreds of BILLIONS of dollars, but if you are like me you just have to know what we are spending it on. Some estimates put the cost of the Iraq war thus far at OVER 300 billion dollars. The only time the term 300 and war should be used is in reference to the movie 300. Just what exactly are we spending our money on? Do we have round the clock 24 hour hooker service for the troops in Iraq? Are the bullets we using gold plated? You can’t sit there and tell me that two-ply toilet paper for the troops is costing us a billion dollars? If that’s the case, than maybe we should switch to leaves. No, its none of that. Its these contractors who are raping the US of this money. And they get away with it because of the Bush Abomination. Sure, everybody knows Halliburton is one of the biggest offenders and the former president of Halliburton was one Dick Cheney. That’s just the start of it. For example, Halliburton is pretty much housekeeping for the military in Iraq. Do you know what they charge to wash a bag of clothes? Are you ready for this clusterfuck of a total? Mind you, this is ONE bag. $99 for one bag of laundry. Ok, so they are a company which is trying to make a profit. Sure, it might cost you, I don’t know, at the very most $2 or $3 to do that same bag of laundry at home. But you mean to tell me we couldn’t find somebody else to do it for $25 a load? Or shit, not even that little, fuck, I would settle for half the price, $50 a bag, that would save us tons of money right there. Of course, Halliburton got a no bid contract so they can pretty much charge whatever the hell they want. It sure is nice of them not to take advantage of the situation though. I mean, after all, they could charge us $100 per bag. That would be triple digits, at least they managed to keep it to double digits. Fuckin A people, how much is a gallon of Tide in Iraq, $45? Shit, at $99 a bag you could probably pay the damn Snuggle bear to pick up the laundry, fuck you in the ass for 5 minutes, wash the clothes and than fuck your wife for another 10 minutes. Also, for those of you that like soda, if you are going to Iraq, you might want to consider giving it up. That’s because a case of soda will cost taxpayers 3 times the amount of a case of beer. Halliburton charged the tax payers $45 for a case of soda. Jesus, for 45 fuckin dollars it not only better get you drunk, it should also get you stoned.

And its not only Halliburton. In March 2006, Custer Battles became the first Iraq occupation contractor to
be found guilty of fraud. A jury ordered the company to pay more than
$10 million in damages for 37 counts of fraud, including false billing. Unfortunately, most of the charges were dismissed due to a technicality, but still that gives you an idea of what we are up against here. Mike Battles, one of the company’s owners, with the fact that 34 of 36
trucks supplied by the firm didn’t work, he responded: “You asked for
trucks and we complied with our contract and it is immaterial whether
the trucks were operational.” Wow, what great customer service and what an amazing product. That’s just what the country needs piece of shit trucks that even Sanford and Son wouldn’t drive.

And sadly, its not only the money which is the biggest problem. Its the cost of life. Its estimated that over 770 civilian contractors have been killed in Iraq. And, to make matters even worse, Halliburton has been accused of providing the US military in Iraq with contaminated water.

Capt. Michelle Callahan, MD, a U.S. army surgeon in Iraq with the 101st Sustainment Brigade told a Senate committee in an email that water containing human fecal matter and other human
waste was being re-circulated by Halliburton back into the non-potable
water supply used by the troops for showering, brushing teeth, shaving,
washing clothes, and preparing food and coffee. According to Callahan,
“concentrate reject was being used to fill the water tanks.”  Even the water at the place I go camping at is cleaner than the water in Iraq, for fuck’s sake. I don”t know about you, but when I take a dump, before I flush I look in the toilet and wave to the shit saying “See you later, hopefully we can be reunited in my coffee!”

This whole thing is a disgrace and as you might imagine, only the tip of a very large, billion dollar fraud iceberg. And why haven’t we heard more about it? Why hasn’t there been anything done about it? Because 53 so called Senators voted AGAINST independent committee hearings into contractor fraud in Iraq. Now take a wild fucking stab in the dark as to which party every single one of those 53 Senators belonged to? That’s right people, every single Republican voted against the committee, including presidential candidate John “I used to have dignity, honor, and respect, but now am as about as pure as Halliburton provided water” McCain. And every single Democrat in the Senate voted for hearings. Unfortunately at the time of the vote, the majority of the Senate was held by the Republicans. Gee, I wonder what the Republicans were trying to hide.

Again, this is not much and I do not even come close to telling the whole story. I hope this is enough to at least get you outraged. If not, than visit these sites:

http://www.halliburtonwatch.org/home.html
http://www.mfso.org/
http://www.corporatepolicy.org/
http://www.ourfuture.org/

The time is now people. Its time we have a female leader. A female in charge. A lady to lead the masses. No, I’m not talking about a female president. I talking about a female cult leader!

I was watching this thing tonight on cult leaders. They practically had a Hall of Fame of cult leaders. Jim Jones. Lil’ Chuckie Manson. Some evil Mexican dude. The only people who were missing were David Koresh and that CREEEEEPY Heaven’s Gate dude. I realized though is that much like American presidents,  the whole cult leader thing is pretty limited to white males. Ok, so the one dude was Mexican, technically some people lump Hispanics in with Caucasians. Nevertheless, with equality being so important, when are we going to have the first female cult leader? Really, why can’t they do it. Let’s look at some qualifications to be a cult leader:

1. Have a HUGE, massive ego. When you think its a big enough ego, double it. Think really big. You know, like Cher sized.

2. Get people to worship the ground you walk on. That one should be easy, there are some guys I know who would fall over themselves for a pretty face. As somebody once said, chicks have the “magic pussy” which means they can get guys to do whatever they want.

3. Brainwash people into believing you are Jesus or a Jesus like figure. You’ve really got them once you reach this level. I mean, its fucking serious at this point. You are pretty much unstoppable.

4. Get people to commit evil deeds. Once you’ve got legions and armies of people who will literally kill for you, what you have got then is a full fledged cult.

Wait a minute. Massive egos. Worship, brainwashing and evil deeds. Hell, I think I just described Evangelicals!

Shit, I think the time is right for a female to emerge and really take command of these people. You know, 9 out of 10 cults fail on their first mass suicide attempts and it doesn’t have to be that way. And maybe all we need is a chick to really put them in line.

What am I even thinking. Only guys would have such large and demanding egos that they brainwash people into believing they are Gods. Fuckin men. Such ego freaks.

Why isn’t an escalator that is going down called a de-escalator? People still call it an escalator when clearly its not escalating. And I’m just as guilty of it as everybody else. I call the de-escalators escalators as well and am powerless to change. Its actually pretty stupid when you think about it. Well this is it people. I’m gonna change. And not only am I going to change, but I’m going to start a whole revolution of change. Soon we will all be calling down escalators de-escalators. Only I can accomplish this. Only I am tough enough to achieve this impossible dream. And I’m asking………….no, I’m telling all of you to follow me. I am the perfect person to bring change. I know this because I’m the one who got people to stop using the phrase “The Bomb”. I also got people to stop playing the Macarana. Yes. That’s it people. Bow down to me, your superior. Now that I’ve got your attention you will see that I am now your God. You will forever refer to me as Jesus Of De-escalator. That is all you will ever be allowed to call me. And we will reign terror, death and destruction on those who refuse to “De-Escalate”.

Now repeat after me, the Jesus Of De-escalator

“Oh, de-escalaty stairs, your steps are so steep.
We fear we are not worthy of your gravity defying powers
We pray that you will spite and bring pain on your enemy escalators and those who ride against us.
Deliver us safely to the bottom where we can rejoice and live a sacred and safe life on the first floor that only your de-escalation could bring us
We vow never to use the escalator in vain.
Even if our backs are heavy with the burdens of fast foods of poisonous nature.
Oh, de-escalaty stairs, you are the only one that can bring us down
For we know that we are not worthy of being at the top.
For He is the only one worthy
And by He we mean Jesus Of De-escalator.
By way of the stairs, elevator or ramp
                               De-escalate.”

There. Now people, do as I have commanded you and say the prayer of De-escalation 400 times tonight before bed. And bow down to this picture of me:

Yesterday Dave, Don and I went out to watch the Jags-Pats playoff game. We were trying to talk Keith into going and I told Dave that I had to call Keith while I was leaving to see if he would go. Dave said to not call, but just show up at his house and kidnap him. Dave’s theory was that if we just show up, than he will have to go. So, we got to his house and pretended that we were going to actually kidnap him. We pulled our coats up over our heads and stuck our fingers in our coat pockets and went up the stairs. Instead of just walking in the house, Dave proceeded to knock on the door. Yeah, real forced kidnapping, let’s knock on the door first! Heather didn’t hear us knocking so we called before walking in. As it turned out, Keith had actually ran to the store, so he wasn’t even there. But, he showed up within a few minutes and unfortunately we were unable to talk him into going.

Dave and I met Don at Buffalo Wild Wings. The place was packed and after a 10 minute wait, were were seated. We ate and watched the game until about midway through the 3rd quarter when we decided to drop Don’s car off at his house and go to Tailgaters to watch the rest of the game and play darts. It was kind of hot in Tailgaters, so I ran out to the car to put our coats in there. I’ve always known that at some point, it would happen. While in the parking lot, I ran into Rene’s son Tony, who turned 21 last year. This was the first time I had seen him at a bar. He and his friend Chuck were there to play beanbags. Tony was only there for a few minutes before his girlfriend called him home.

As for darts, we were on a dart board that was right next to the change machine. While I was throwing, this one big guy came up to get change. He was kind of right in our way, and oblivious to it; this was also not the firs time that he was in our way. So, I throw the dart. He quickly shot me a look as if to say “hey fucker, watch it!” So, I threw another dart. Hey, the way I see it have some consideration to others and be aware of where you are at. He again gave me a look to which I apologized and let him get the rest of his change. It seemed to work though, as he really wasn’t in our way the rest of the night.

Damn, this just in, I kinda suck at darts.

Today we hung out at Dave and Kelli’s house because our friends Tom and Julie were in from South Carolina, where he is stationed with the Air Force. Those of you might remember them from a video I posted a few months ago of him on the local news in Louisville surprising his wife and daughter by coming home a week early from Iraq. Outside of that video, this was the first time any of us had seen Tom since July of 2006. It was great to see both them and their 3 daughters. Dave had bought a great cake which read “Welcome Home, Soldier”. I thought this was awesome and both Tom and Julie loved it. It was also a chocolate cake with chocolate whipped cream and Oreos on it. As you might imagine, it also tasted great. I have included a picture of it here:

See, I told you it looked good.

I always like talking to Tom about the war and politics. He had a lot of interesting things to say about the situation in Iraq. Tom has always been different and he is not anything like most of the military. In fact, he is liberal and said he is supporting Hillary Clinton for president. I had watched a movie the other night called Iraq For Sale which was about companies we have contracted to help in Iraq. More about that in a post later this week, but for now I had to ask him a lot of questions about those contractors. Actually, in retrospect, I really didn’t ask as many questions as I thought I would.

Shit, I wish I had more time to write, but I’ve got to go.

I saw a guy wearing a pre-wrinkled shirt today. It made me think we have really hit the zenith of laziness if we have to PAY somebody to pre-wrinkle our clothes. What worse is that these things probably cost more money. I’ll tell you a way to save the $10, just drop it on the floor in your bedroom for 3 days and then wear it. And again, how fuckin lazy do you have to be to have it already wrinkled for you? Really, in all honesty, wrinkling clothes comes form being lazy to begin with. You are either too lazy to pick up the clothes, too lazy to hang it in the closet or too lazy to make sure that it is not getting wrinkled in the dresser. That’s lazy. But, I guess its just not lazy enough. Apparently, taking it off and leaving it on the floor must be too much damn work. You need somebody else to throw it on the floor, permanent press some wrinkles into it so that you don’t have to wrinkle it yourself later. And whats even funnier is that you are probably still too lazy to pick it up or hang it in the closet so its only going to get wrinkled anyway. And yet, people pay more money for it to already be wrinkled. Does anybody else find this baffling? And why exactly is it stylish to wear wrinkled clothes? What I don’t understand its only stylish if its a pre-wrinkled shirt. In other words, I can take a overly wrinkled shirt from the bottom of my dresser drawer and wear it and that is not stylish. Instead, it makes me look like a lazy slob. Now don’t get me wrong, by all means, I am a lazy slob. But, why is pre-wrinkled fine but old school wrinkled not socially acceptable? After all, I thought all things retro and old school are supposed to be in and hip. Again, this makes no damn sense. Somebody please explain this to me. I guess its just the good ol’ Douche Bags of Fashion at it again. By the way, I liked that name so much that I gave my fantasy basketball team that name. But I digress.

Then there is the whole torn jean thing. I’ve got no problem with torn jeans. But, why is it only hip if you purchase them torn? And pay more money for them as well. Let me understand this correctly, you are buying LESS fabric and it is costing you more. How does this make a damn bit of sense. Its kind of like paying more money for a partially eaten cheeseburger that for a fresh, uneaten one. Also another hip fashion is the worn look, in which the jeans look like they have been worn out. Ok, that’s part of the beauty of jeans is buying them and watching them fade away after each wash. What I like to do is have contests with my jeans to see which one is going to last longest. That’s hard to do if its already halfway worn once you get them. I mean, how do you have any idea which pair is winning?

I swear, fashion makes no damn sense to me.

I’m starting to think being gay is totally where its at. I mean, gay guys and girls really have it much better when it comes to the accessability of genitals. Although there is certainly nothing wrong with female genitalia, its not on the OUTSIDE of the body. I mean, with a guy, its right there. You can give a guy oral sex right through the pants whereas with a girl, its a little more difficult, what with their indoor junk. And really, that’s what it comes down to. Our plumbing is outdoors for everybody to easily see, not like girls with their indoor genitals. Sure, we have to cover them, but that’s only a temporary restriction that can be easily taken care of. And yes, I guess there really is not much work to get to the chick junk, but still, ours is out there for the world to see. Of course, this can be a potential problem. After all, it can be hard to hide when we are overly excited, which for the average teenage boy is about 173 times an hour. And outdoor pipes can be dangerous and painful, I wish I had a dollar for every time I “crunched” myself. Let me explain that to you, if I were some pants that are tight fitting along with boxers, sometimes if I sit down too quickly the tight fitting pants crunch the nuts,  and let me tell you, it is not exactly the most pleasant experience in the world. But being on the outside really makes things easier, at least from a gay guy’s perspective. Straight guys sometimes have to strain their necks for a long period of time to really do a good job of eating out some pussy. Gay guys and girls, its simple, just bob up and down for 7-10 minutes and then try not to get shot in the eye.

Plus gays are really experts on their bats and balls. As it was mentioned in a Seinfeld episode once, we have access to the equipment 24 hours a day, whenever we want it or need it. We can just reach down there in our pants and have at it if we want. Hell, I’m reaching in there right now, its that easy! Ok, don’t get too freaked out, do you honestly think I would tug it while blogging? Even if blogging is a dirty sounding word, I still have to focus on the task at hand. Still we have a huge advantage in this area. With guys there are no surprises. I mean, say you are a straight guy and you have never seen a pussy and the first time you get a girl naked you look down there and HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT! You have never seen it up close and let’s face it, its not the most attractive thing up close. Its totally different from what you own.  Seeing how much different the pussy is from the cock can really be an eye opener, hell I’d bet it even scared some guys gay. But with a guy, you know exactly what you are going to get, after all, they get to play with the same thing you have been playing with since you were 12. Oh sure, they might be a different size (ok, so there are HUGE differences between a circumcised and uncut cock, but when they are erect, there is not as much of a difference) but for the most part you are getting what you expected, the same thing you have! Its wonderful. You don’t have to get down there and say “oh shit, what have I gotten myself into?” Also with a girl, you sometimes have to play a game of “Pick a hole” which can be a BIG BIG BIG shock for everybody involved. Plus, like I said its so much less work; with a girl you sometimes have to bust your ass off to make her cum. Yeah, that’s just what I need, work my ass off at work for 8 hours, come home deal with the kids and maybe some chores and then just when I think I can relax and have some easy sex, I have to again bust a hump trying to get my wife off. That’s not the case with a guy. With a guy you get no surprises and its as easy as a bowl of cereal!

So I’m watchin this thing on A&E about the whole Drew Peterson case when what should I see? A former acquaintance being interviewed about Stacey Peterson. Turns out, he was an old friend of hers who she contacted just weeks before she was murdered by Drew Peterson. As many of you probably know, I used to hang out at Denny’s with Dave and Jt damn near every night back in the day. This guy, Scott and his identical twin brother used to hang out there too. They were going to school to become nurses. As if to prove my point, they then show the very Denny’s that we hung out at because Scott and Stacey hung out a Denny’s just a few months ago. This is huge news people and I don’t need to tell you why. This means that since I know a potential witness, I could never be on the jury should this thing ever go to trial. Damnit anyway, I was going to make TONS off of this trial. No book deal. Tv interviews, GONE. Being sequestered at a hotel away from work and my family, nope. Using the notoriety of the trial as a springboard to my own talk show, not a chance. Now I just have to work for a living like everybody else. Why the fuck do I always have to know somebody?

I forgot to mention this before, but like every other bar in the state of Illinois, the bar I hang out every Thursday has gone smoke free. This past Thursday I walked in there and it was remarkably clear. As Keith so funningly put it, “its like the bar has gone HD” meaning that previously with the smoky haze you couldn’t see so good, but now with the smoke gone, its like seeing in high definition. I also cleaned my windshield this weekend and that too was like seeing in HD. I was driving home today when I noticed how much clearer it was. It was amazing. Now just imagine how much better I would be able to see if I actually cleaned my glasses.

What the fuck is with this weather people? The temp has not been below 50 in a couple of days. This includes overnight. In fact, the past 2 days have seen highs in the 60s. Today I went to work without a coat. Today we had nasty storms complete with lightening, wind, tornado watches and severe thunderstorm warning. Technically, this is still the first week of January. What gives? What happened to winter, where we get a break from all that shit and I don’t have to worry about tiny dicked assholes riding around on their loud ass motorcycles. That’s right, those fuckwads don’t waste anytime, they are out there annoying the shit out of everybody with those loud pieces of shit the first chance they get. Well, yesterday morning as I dragged myself out of bed, I heard one of those piece of shit motorcycles  screaming in the distance. Winter, PLLLEEEEASE come back.

Ever since I was little, I have always had a fear of tornadoes. I think it stems from being anally raped by a tornado when I was 8 years old. That might help to explain a lot of other things too, such as my love for tires.

Last night I went to a get together at Mistey’s house. Mistey is a girl that used to live next door to us growing up. She is married and living in Channahon now, which is probably about 15 minutes south of Joliet. I printed off directions from Evite and little did I know until I was already on my way, the directions were rather……………abrupt. Now keep in mind, Channahon is not exactly Chicago. Hell, its not even Joliet. In fact, in terms of population, with only an estimated 13,410 people its not even close. I don’t know the square mileage of Channahon, but its not like its only one square mile. Even if it was, I still can’t justify the directions that it gave me. Just look at this:

Now keep in mind, at the top of the page for the directions was her address, which is NOT on Rt 6. In fact, she is probably a good 2 miles from Rt 6 and you have to take 2 different roads once you turn off Rt 6 to get to her house. Its not like POOF! you are in Channahon and all of a sudden her house appears right in front of you. Of course, I should have taken a closer look at the directions before I even left the house, but honestly I assumed that it would end at least on the street she lives on. After all, at the top of the page was her address. Needless to say, once I got onto Rt 6 I had to call her to get directions.

Her house is nice. Its kind of a tri level with a basement. On the level above the basement but below the kitchen living room area, they ad a projection tv, which projected onto a screen that was painted onto the wall. No, I don’t mean, that it was VERY close to the wall, I mean, it was an actual movie screen painted on the wall. This screen was, get this, 111 fucking inches! And the picture took up the entire length of that screen. In addition, it was also HD, which made it even better. We put the start of an NFL playoff game on the tv and let me tell you, you have not lived until you’ve seen an oversized John Madden in HD. The kids were also playing video games on it later and holy shit, this really takes things to the next, next, next level. And to think, there was a time when I played video games on a 13 inch tv, which when you do the math was damn nearly 100 inches smaller than the tv they were playing on. 100 FUCKING INCHES!!! Let that sink in for a few minutes, would you?

As for the party itself, I had a good time, but I won’t bore you with the details.

I can’t post without mentioning this, Barack Obama won the Iowa caucus. By the way, isn’t caucus a fun word to say, even if nobody know what the hell it means? I digress. This is pretty significant because a mixed man has won an election (caucus, election, both pretty much amount to the same thing, right?) in what is statistically speaking, the whitest state in all of America. Of course, its not the south, which is far more racist than Iowa, but still, if he can win in White-owa than he can probably win anywhere. Its not to say that he is going to win, but he can win. I know people have been saying since he announced that he was running that he had no chance to win. But, win the White-owa caucus and you pretty much have to be taken seriously. As you all probably know, I’m a HUGE Obama backer, not only to I plan to donate to his campaign if he wins the nomination, but I also would love to work on his campaign as well. All this being said, now that he is a serious contender, how safe is he? We already know there are people hateful and racist enough to want to kill him. He was also given a secret service detail earlier than any candidate in history (last April, more than a year and a half before the general election) because of his race. Other major candidates have been assassinated in the middle of a campaign for president. Hell, if you think about it, there is a lot that Robert Kennedy and Barack Obama have in common. Both were democrats. Both civil rights champions who were running on a platform of change. Both young and successful. And right now we are in a very unpopular and controversial war as we were back then. Some people believe this decade is every bit as turbulent as the 1960s. The difference of course, is that people are far more accepting of blacks and mixed people as they were before. The fact that he is even popular enough to run says a lot about America. But, the threat is still out there. All that being said, call me a optimistic dreamer, but I think Obama is not only going to win the nomination, but also the presidency. Of course, there is still a long way to go and a lot can happen between now and then. And it certainly will be interesting, but I’m cautiously optimistic.

I’ve decided that I’m going to attempt to keep track of the money that I give to charity this year. ATTEMPT being the key word here, as I will probably last about 2 days before I either forget to keep track or just give up keeping track. Wait. That makes it sound like I’m just giving so much money that I can’t even keep track, which is clearly not the case. See, they say (again, with they…………I’m still wondering who the fuck THEY are) one should give 10% of his/hers income to charity. Now I always try to be very charity focused. I write a lot about it and honestly in a typical day think of ways that I can give money or give back to others. For example, the other day, I was thinking how I should really give more money to the homeless. After all, it was 9 years ago when I beat the shit out of the guy coming off the train and stole his identity. Three weeks later he was homeless, living under a tree in Grant Park. Since it is society’s fault that they dumped him there, I’m thinking I owe it to society to at least give back. Ok, I may not be able to give back his 20 year old son’s virginity back, but I can at least give back some money to those that are homeless. Anywho, I digress. I was guesstimating that even as focused as I am, I probably give well under 10% of my income to charity. I’m thinking its more in the 6%, honestly, probably not even that much. I’m not keeping track for the tax benefits, but rather so that I can see just how much of a difference I’m making. For example, last year I only gave a total of  $52 to the United Way via an automatic withdrawal from my check every other week. This amounts to 48% of last years earnings going to the United Way. Wait, I think I might have done my math wrong. 48%, that can’t possibly be correct. Let me double check that. Ok, here we go, this is more like it. With that $52 total, that’s 63% of my income. That’s more like it. Still, in the grand scheme of things, $52 is really not a lot of money. And I can certainly afford to give more, at least $53 a year. Actually, when I think about it, $52 is pretty much an embarrassment, especially when you consider how much time I spend blathering on about how everybody needs to give more. Now that’s not to say that I only gave $52 to charity last year, that was only to the United Way. And yeah, I know that the United Way is supposed to be about as crooked as an NBA referee, I still feel they serve a good purpose. Also, I still gave money randomly throughout the year to various charities. Still, I know it is no where near 10%. And actually, when I think about, its probably not even near 5 or 6%. Really, I need to focus on giving more, whether its time or money. Or better yet, both. I think this can be a real big eye opener for me as to what I’m doing, or rather the lack of what I’m doing. It is important to me that I contribute and give back to society after taking so so so much from society all these years. And the best way for me to gauge how much of a charitable deadbeat I am is to keep track of how much I actually give. Of course, this is going to skew the data because I fully intend I giving more this year just to make it look like I’m not as much of a deadbeat as I think I am. But still, at the end of the year, who wins? The charities. And hopefully I can carry it on to next year and the other 2 years I will probably live so that I can at least make more of a difference.

See, my thinking is that I don’t have kids, so I have to have a legacy somewhere. And why not giving back. I’ve always been a firm believer that everybody needs to give. We are the haves and being the haves, we should be helping the have nots become the haves so that we can all look down on the have not not nots and thumb our noses at them. Ok, maybe not. But, there are plenty of charities to give to, even some that may help to find a cure for a nasty, debilitating disease, such as Foot in Mouth Disease, a disease I’m far too familiar with. I believe that everybody has an obligation to help others, whether its with money or time. So far I can say that I have given $5 this year, which if I give $5 a day would amount to just $1830. Wait, I’m already a day behind, as my deadbeat ass didn’t give shit yesterday. And since I’m not planning on giving shit the next 2 days, that is really going to put me in a hole. Ahhhh, fuck me, I should just give $100 this month just to get ahead. Wait. $100 a month, that’s still well under $5 a day. Fuck, $5 a day, that might be tough to keep up. Then again, who says I have to physically give $5 each day, I can just give one lump’s sum each week. Maybe $20 a week. Well fuck me stupid! That’s still less than $5 a day. Damnit. Certainly there has got to be another way. Well, I’m sure I will come up with something.

Anyway, I certainly hope I’m getting my preachy point across. With so many charitable causes out there, truly there is something for everybody. Everybody has got a cause for which they are passionate about, find yours and get to it. Come on people, the cure for Foot In Mouth Disease won’t find itself. And when you think you are giving enough, double it. Honestly, I thought that I might be giving enough but when I stop and attempt to do the math on everything I might have given, it really is not a lot at all. Sure, there is nothing wrong with giving what you can afford, but honestly, think long and hard about it, can’t you afford to give more? Think about how many times you get fast food in an average week and think about how much of a difference you can make by  cutting back on one fast food meal a week and giving that money to charity. Not only would you be doing something good for others, but your body will thank you for saving it from unhealthy fast food. Just bring your lunch one more day each week and you can really do a lot with that money.

Do it people!!!

Ahhhh, New Year’s Day. Is there anything more…………well, something………..than New Year’s Day? A time to look back and forward at the same time. A time for, as George W Bush would probably say “New Year’s revolutions.” I remember last year at this time, I read an article on Yahoo about Americans predictions for 2007. There were some crazy ass predictions, none of which came true. So I’m not going to try to predict 2008, but instead try to predict what people will predict. Something like:

85% of Evangelicals will say that God has cured them of diarrhea
97% of Republicans believe Hillary Clinton will be discovered to be the bride of Satan
100% of Christian conservative Republicans believe they are straight when in fact 82.8% of them are carrying on gay relationships with the paperboy

See, predicting what people will predict is much tougher than actually coming up with predictions. Then again, the difference is that the odds of their predictions coming to fruition are much less likely than my predictions of their predictions. After all, we know the above is true.

Still though, I would like to be in the prediction business. Honestly, you can predict things at the beginning of the year, but most people forget those predictions by the end of the year and still listen to you and believe you at the start of the next year. But I digress. There is no way to say what will become of this year. Honestly, when you look back at it, how many people at the start of 2001 would have believed that the US would be attacked in the manner in which it was attacked? Or locally, at the start of 2007, how many people thought that a couple of towns nearby would become infamous for a couple of missing wives? Sure, a lot of people predicted the New England Patriots perfect season, but at the end of the year, nobody ever predicts the big news stories.

Damn. This post sucks ass. I wanted to post SOMETHING today but just couldn’t come up with something good. I should just erase the whole damn thing.

Nah. I’ll leave it. After all, its the one prediction I can control: I will post tons of crap this year.