May 8, 2008
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Today I was walking into work during lunch. I was talking with 4 coworkers as I walked into the atrium of the building. Now, normally I don’t pay that much attention to where I’m going as I walk anywhere. I tend to get easily distracted by things and in this case had my head totally turned looking at a coworkers as I spoke. This is my excuse for not seeing the rather large load bearing pillar that is located in our atrium. I walked right the fuck into it. The first part that hit was my knee. At first everybody was very concerned then they started to laugh. One of the girls just looked at me as if to say “Mike, you dope, you did that on purpose, didn’t you?” In fact, a few people asked me if I meant to do that, but honestly, I did not. As I went back upstairs I started to tell everybody what had happened. One of the guy’s who works in the mail room insisted that I had to report this. I didn’t want to as I was fine and not hurt at all. They insisted though and I found myself in the mail room with the lady who is in charge of reporting shit like this. So I had to tell her the whole embarrassing story, but I was making jokes the whole time. She even had to call the security guard because he has a report that he needs to fill out as well. He kept asking me if I need him to call the paramedics but I said no. They kept asking me if I had hit my head or face to which I replied “Geez, am I that ugly that the only way my face could look this bad is if I hit it?” I know that might sound sarcastic but I said it in a joking manner which made everybody laugh. The rest of the day the security guard kept checking on me to make sure I was ok, he said that he had to because it was his job. Of course, more and more people found out about it and they found it hilarious and they kept cracking jokes about it. Of course, I was the one leading with the jokes. I swear, sometimes it amazes me that I have managed to survive and somehow not kill myself in some sort of accidental fall or something like that. I’m such a klutz, I’m always doing stuff like this to myself, its both comical and sad at the same time…………..well more comical than anything else. And then there is the other 4 people I was with, you mean to tell me one of them couldn’t have said “Yo, Mike you dumbass, look out for that fucking pole!” or at least grabbed me and pulled me out of the way.
None of this would of happened if Carl Weathers was my dad. If Carl Weathers was my dad, they would have thrown themselves in between the pillar and me, preventing me from walking into it. Or, if Carl Weathers was my dad the pillar would have moved the fuck out of the way when it saw me getting even remotely close.
