Those of you who are baseball fans probably already know that Alex Rodriguez tested positive. No, I don’t mean positive for an STD after sleeping with Madonna, I mean for steroids back in 2003. I for one am not surprised, but I’m still disappointed. I’ve always liked him going back to his days in Seattle. Of course, since he has been playing for the Yankees, I’ve liked him less and less with each stupid thing he has done. Even though I suspected that he probably wasn’t clean, I was hoping like hell that he was so that he could break the all time home run record because I hate Barry Bonds. And now he is dirty just like a whole bunch of other players.

I’m a huge baseball fan, in fact I know more about baseball than any other subject. But in recent years, my love for the game has waned because of steroids. I look at every individual  accomplishment on with doubt and suspicion. People give me shit about it because they think I should give players the benefit of the doubt. My brothers think I crazy when I suggest that a certain player is dirty. For years I told them Roger Clemens was a user and they laughed at me. And then the truth came out about him. I also am convinced Albert Pujols has done them, although I’ve got no proof. But, for me the proof is in the stats. I’ve always been cynical and for years I either didn’t know about baseball’s steroid use or chose to ignore it. Once it all started to come out, in my eyes it makes everybody a suspect. I’m the type of person who can be fooled but will not allow myself to be fooled again.

The question is how do we solve this problem of performance enhancers in baseball? At first I thought a lifetime ban for a first time abuser. Sure, it is harsh and probably harder then it should be. But it does send the message and would solve the problem. Not that the players union would ever go for it. Another idea I had was baseball hires an independent and highly reputable company with a high standard of integrity to test the players. If a player tests positive, it automatically voids their contract, the very contract they got by using roids in the first place. Again the players union would never approve of such a deal. Also, baseball is not serious about wanting to eliminate performance enhancers from the game; they make too much money when people use them and excel.

What more needs to happen before they are pushed to the extreme to rid the game of performance enhancers?

I realize this post is going to make me sound very shallow. VERY shallow. Or maybe just make me look like a dick. A VERY big dick. Or maybe both. Yes, a shallow, big dick. I was thinking the other day, there are some very very ugly people in the world. Everybody knows people or have seen these people who are so ugly that you wonder if they indeed have ever had sex. Or maybe they have kids and you wonder how the fuck it was that they ever got somebody to fuck them. I mean, they are nice people, good hearted, maybe even some of the best people you know, but you still sit there and think to yourself “wow, Ted is a great person but I still can’t imagine anybody finding him attractive enough to want to have sex with him.” Of course, some people are older and don’t look so good. I’m not talking about those people, after all a lot of people are hot when they are young so you can see that they were probably hot enough to be getting action on a regular basis. I’m referring to the people who are still young and just don’t have it, have never had it and never will have it. You look at them and realize that they are utterly unfuckable. Maybe they are larger people, or people with all sorts of magic odors or people who are just flat out molten ugly. For people like this, there is a very good chance that they are never going to have sex. Ever. There is no conceivable manner in which they will ever engage in a naked activity with any other human being. You might feel sorry for them. You might say to yourself “man it really sucks to be Karen, ain’t nobody ever gonna fuck her; she will never know the joys of somebody else giving her an orgasm.”

Its right about then that their boyfriend or girlfriend walks up and you say to yourself “Holy shit, even the ugliest of the ugly gets laid more then me!”

I was looking at my universal inbox the other day when I realized something: compared to posts by everybody else, my posts look weird in an in box because I don’t have titles on my posts. See, I always wanted to be different so I’ve never given my posts titles. Everybody gives titles and I’ve never been one to conform and like individuality. But, I’m starting to think that without the titles its hard to see when I’ve updated and therefore people might miss a post. At least, that’s the excuse I’m using for people not reading or commenting. So you tell me would it make it easier if I had a title to my posts?

You know who is a real motherfucker? David S. Sorensen the CEO of Select Staffing. See, on August 8th, 2008 he donated $10,000 in support of Prop 8. I hope one day he realizes that being against gay marriage is not going to cover up cheating on his wife by fucking hooker after hooker after hooker. Wanna know who else is an equal motherfucker? I mean besides Bruce A. Bitnoff of  Rescue, CA, who hates all minorities hence his $9,900 donation to help pass Prop 8. Learn more at http://www.californiansagainsthate.com/dishonorRoll.html

Will somebody please make Joe the Plummer and Rod Blagojevich go away? Far away. Or just make them disappear, you know, kinda like mafia style. And they don’t even have to go away separately, they can go away together. Maybe they can skip off to Antarctica together to never be heard from again. Ok, I guess Blago would have to come back for his trial, after all if we can send him to jail that really would be prime. But, both these fuckers seem to be showing up everywhere nowadays. I mean, did Blago really need to go on Larry King again tonight? Dude, you have been removed from office and made yourself look downright pathetic on the way out, you are only piling on now making yourself look even worse. And than there is Joe the Plummer. For some reason, he we was making commercials shortly after the election. Last month he was covering the war in Gaza for some website. Now he is doing some shit with the Republican party. Somebody needs to tell him that his 15 minutes ended like 20 minutes ago.

Illinois wins!!!! Our joke of a governor, the money whore Rod Blagojevich, has been removed from office! He was pathetic until the very end, denying that he ever did any wrong doing and instead insisting that the whole world was out to get him because he wanted to help people. Yes, because the people he compared himself too, Gandhi, Mandela, and MLK were all vile human beings hated by everybody who crossed their paths. Furthermore, only 7% of the population approved of them. Wait. I forgot, none of that is true. It turns out that Blago is just a self indulgent, self centered, narcissistic, creep who deserves everything he has coming to him. Oh, and tomorrow night, February 3rd, he will a guess on David Letterman! Holy shit that is going to be really fucking entertaining!

Friday night was my annual poker night in honor of my mom’s birthday. It was quite an unusual night of poker, let me tell you. Since I don’t want to take the time to explain some of the games we were playing, just make up your own shit in your head. Still, a great time was had by all, we played for about 8 hours the last people leaving my house shortly after 4 in the am. Oh, and I lost. Gambling on Super Bowl Sunday was no better. I split time between 2 Super Bowl parties and at the first one I was at I had no luck with those squares or strip cards. The next party I was at I wound up winning $20. Like any gambler, I had to parlay that shit, so Jt, Corlee, Dave and I went to the casino where I promptly lost what I won and then some.

As for the Super Bowl, it was quite the game. I know some people watch it just for the commercials, but I have never been the commercial type, I truly love football and watch it for the game. Fortunately, it was a close and exciting game, coming right down to a probably bullshit call in the final seconds. Nevertheless, it was great to see Kurt Warner lose and the Steelers win. If only every Super Bowl could be that exciting.

Perhaps you are like me and you are still steamin mad about this Prop 8 bullshit. Maybe you want to know if you Uncle Al donated money in support of Prop 8. Or maybe you wanted to know about which organization donated $1,425,000 (hint: the Knights of Columbus. Don’t worry you can contact them here Headquarters: 1 Columbus Plaza, New Haven, CT 06510 • Tel: 203.752.4000 • Web: www.kofc.org/un/index.cfm to tell them how much they suck, even though what you say probably won’t make a difference.). Anywho, you can check out all the donors on the website
http://www.californiansagainsthate.com/dishonorRoll.html

I’m sure most of them wouldn’t be a big surprise. But maybe some of them are. I mean, who would have thought that Paul A Barney hated gays so much that he felt the need to donate $5,500 towards Prop 8. Or that John Chandler from Allstate probably sucks cock and doesn’t want anybody to find out so he gave $6,000 to keep his little secret. Anywho, check out the site for yourself and decide if you want to boycott any of these fuckers.