My older brother is turning 40 tomorrow so this of course meant a party. It was determined that the party would be at my other brother’s house yesterday. It was not a surprise party but there were a few things we wanted to keep secret from him. For example, I decided to make a dvd slide show with music and a ton of pictures. I of course have no clue how to do such a thing, so I enlisted a friend to make it for me. When I saw said friend on Thursday night and asked him if he had it done, he said he hadn’t even started it yet and wanted to know if I would come by on Friday evening to help work on it with him. I was a little annoyed by this because it was last second, but went over to help anyway. I’m glad I did though, as it turned out great and exactly how I wanted it. Normally this friend and I butt heads from time to time as I’m a little bit of a control freak and he is a complete control freak. But, we actually both got along very well on Friday night. He did all of the computer work on the dvd and let me make all of the decision with regards to music, pictures to use, order of pictures and so forth. We spent 6 hours together making this thing and got along the entire time.

I also found a lady to make a very cool Cubs cake for my brother. And you have to love modern technology. She finished the cake Friday night and sent me a pic via camera phone. We were actually able to include a picture of the cake on the DVD which was really cool. Anywho, I guess I should just let the pics tell the story.

Fuckin thing. I’m having issues posting pics. Its taking for-fucking-ever. So this is all you get for right now.

I’ve really got nothing today. Since I’m at a temporary loss of words, please get to work on solving the following:

Defeat the Taliban in Pakistan.

Solve the global warming problem.

End racism.

Find my detachable 6th toe on my left foot.

Now if you would get to work on those menial tasks, it would be greatly appreciated.

I went to the Cubs game again today. This time we sat in the bleacher box seats. The bleachers at Wrigley are all bleachers except for this one section right next to the right field foul pole which is actually seats as opposed to bleachers. This is where we sat. Honestly, it wasn’t a bad view at all; I even had a decent seat to watch Tim Lincecum of the Giants stretch before the game. This was good because I do find him all sorts of yummy. Anywho, here is a pic from our seats.

See, that’s not so bad is it. And that pic doesn’t even come close to doing the view justice, as it was with my crappy camera phone.

That’s all I have for today people.

I’ve decided that I think I want to set little monthly goals for myself. From now on, I’ve got a goal to masterbate in as many different rooms at work as I possibly can. I work in a decent sized building; its 4 stories but its a rather large 4 stories, like at least 50 square feet. That leaves me with plenty of area that I can jerk it. As for time, well that’s easy, I get a 45 minute lunch each day and after jackin’ off that leaves me with 44 1/2 minutes to clean up and eat lunch.

There are a lot of restaurants that call themselves pancake houses. Just once I’d like to see the building actually made out of pancakes. Honestly, how could they call themselves pancake houses if its not made out of pancakes or the building isn’t built inside a pancake, kinda like how a treehouse is built inside a tree. Or, maybe they can shape the building like a pancake. Ok, maybe that’s a little  bit crazy, but at the very least, you would think they would build a model house out of pancakes that they can keep near the register.

As you all know, I recently discovered a sixth toe on my left foot. Or maybe it was my right foot. Wait, maybe it was a fourth toe on my sixth foot. Nevertheless, the news is even better, its turns out that its actually a detachable toe! I wonder if its the long rumored toe that went all the way home.

      His penis is insured by Lloyd’s Of London
      His cock is so big, he can actually fuck himself, but he never has the need to so don’t even bother to suggest it.
      The first time he jerked off his sperm climbed back in because they didn’t want to be away from the greatness yet to come.
      He is: The Horniest Man In The World.
      “I don’t always wear condoms but when I do, I prefer Trojan.”

Those of you outside Chicago or who aren’t basketball fans probably haven’t followed much of the Chicago Bulls-Boston Celtics first round playoff series, but me being a huge Bulls fan, I have followed it every step of the way. The Celtics are the defending NBA champs and went into the playoffs with the 2nd seed in the playoffs, the Bulls had the 7th seed, which meant that Boston had home court advantage. The Celtics would be playing without their best player, Kevin Garnett but were still expected to beat the Bulls rather easily as they still have a great team. Well, as it turned out the series was anything but easy. What we just witnessed was one of the all time greatest playoff series in the history of the NBA and maybe even among the greatest in the history of sports. I’ve been watching basketball for 20 years and I’ve never seen anything like it. The series went 7 games and 5 of the 7 games were nail biting, drama filled games. Four of the seven games went into overtime;  in fact they played 7 overtimes in the series including an utterly amazing game 6 in Chicago which featured 3 overtimes. That game in itself was the best game of the series and when I think about it, probably the best NBA game I’ve ever seen. It had it all, nearly a fight in the first half, a double digit lead blown by each team, big shot after big shot, and an easy point blank layup missed by Kirk Hinrich of the Bulls with seconds left in triple overtime that could have sealed the game. There are not enough adjectives I could use to describe how good this series was. It made everybody in Chicago fall in love with basketball again for the first time since the glory days back in the 1990s. After a while it was more than just people in Boston and Chicago who were talking about this series as it was the lead story on ESPN just about every day for the last week. When I look back on this series, it will be one that we will talk about for years. At the end of the year when ESPN has its greatest games they will mention game 6 and maybe even game 4 which “only” went to double OT. In the end though, the Bulls were unable to upset the Celtics, losing game 7 yesterday in Boston, but it was a magical ride and much better than anybody could have expected.

Yesterday though was a great sports day all around. First I watched the Cubs beat the Marlins. Then in the afternoon, Jt, Dave and I went to bet the Kentucky Derby at an OTB in Joliet that we go to every year. Of course, none of us won, but it was still fun. We then met Don at Buffalo Wild Wings to watch game 7. Although I’m not a hockey fan, the Chicago Blackhawks were also playing a playoff game last night as well against the Vancouver Canucks. It was funny to be at a packed sports bar with people watching and cheering both games. There would be a break in the action in the Bulls game and all of a sudden, people would start cheering and I would have no idea why at first until I’d look at the other tv with the Hawks game.

I swear sometimes my mind never stops thinking of funny things or bits of comedy, even when I sleep. Are any of you familiar with those Dos Equis beer commercials featuring “The Most Interesting Man In The World?” For those of you who haven’t seen them, you can check out the Dos Equis website to see some of them. Anywho, this morning the last dream I had before I woke up was me making fun of those commercials (I guess its flattery, because I really do like the commercials) by parodying them with kind of an adult version. I woke up and found it so funny that I instantly sent a text to all my friends with some of the lines from the dream. I guess I was one of the only ones who found it funny because only 2 people replied. That being said, I’m still going to write it here along with a couple of additional ones not from the dream:

                          If he has an erection lasting longer then 4 hours, he doesn’t need to see a doctor.
                          For a good time, just think of him.
                          He shits fudge and pisses beer.
                          He fucks so good that any woman in a 35 mile radius also has orgasms.
                         “I don’t always use a condom but when I do, I prefer Trojan. Stay horny my friends.”