June 24, 2009
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Random Johnson
You can always tell how old somebody is by how high they wear their pants. Its kinda like how people can tell the age of a tree by counting its rings; you can tell the rough age of a person by how high they have their pants. Just look at teenagers and people in their early twenties. They have pants that hang down and you can see about half of their ass crack. Then they get older and into their late twenties and thirties. The pants go up to a reasonable height. When they are in their forties the pants are approaching the navel. By the time somebody is retired, the pants are so high they are nearly touching their nipples.
Every time I write out checks to pay my bills for the month, I always get a little worried that after I die they are going to find my check book and look through it and realize that the math in my check register didn’t add up. You know, like they are going to go back 5 or 6 years and say “wow, Mike was such a moron, he though he had X number of dollars left in his checking account after paying the mortgage”. So when I do finally kick it old school, please don’t let them hate when it comes to my checking balance.
Tomorrow is the NBA draft. Once again I’ve declared myself eligible. This year I’ve done something new. I learned how to jump! Listen for my name, I’m expected to be taken in the late first round.
Why couldn’t our former governor here in Illinois disappeared without telling anybody about 5 years ago? Could have saved us a ton of embarrassment.
Is anybody else sick and tired of hearing about this fucking conflict? Are you like me, do you want the two damn sides to just end their differences and shut the fuck up already? There are a lot of innocent people who’s lives are being affected by this saga. No, I’m not talking about the protests in Iran. I’m talking about something that people in America care more about. So please, somebody fucking find a way to get rid of Jon and fucking Kate. I don’t care who these fuckers are. They aren’t relevant or important in the least. Can we rush the damn divorce so the media can move on from this bullshit fucking story.
Comments (2)
I hate the John and Kate. I never really watched the show but they’re taking up valuable space in my celeb gossip mags and it drives me nuts. Good for you on the NBA, learning to jump is an important first step in playing basketball. Next stop, dribbling.
I agree, we should form a mob and kill John & Kate. Oh wait, you want them to just shut up? Oh, I guess that’s good too.