My mom’s birthday was February 1 and every year in honor of her birthday, I have a dealer’s choice poker game with my friends. My mom was the biggest gambler I ever knew and although she had a gambling problem, I still choose to remember this part of her. Its a pretty exclusive game, I play with the same people I have been playing with for 16 years and never any outsiders. All of these people knew her (I should mention my brother Mark is one of the guys who plays) and I think that’s one of the reasons why I never have outsiders. So this past Friday was our annual game. We started playing about 8 in the pm and played for about 7 1/2 hours, finally ending about 3:30am. You might say to yourself “holy shit, that is a long time to be playing cards” but honestly, its mere child’s play compared to my mom and her crew. I remember one time they played for about 16 or 17 hours straight, went to bed, woke up a few hours later, went to the casino for 10 or 11 hours, went to bed and played the next night for 5 or 6 hours. See, I told you she had a gambling problem.

Mark picked up our friend Dave on the way over to my house which of course meant he would be driving Dave home. After dropping off Dave, Mark was headed in the direction of his house when he saw what he first thought was a police roadblock. Upon getting closer, he realized it was a pretty bad car accident. Dave called us Saturday afternoon and told us that the accident Mark passed was a one car accident in which a car hit a tree at roughly 1:30 in the morning, just a couple of hours prior to Mark driving by. There were 4 guys in the car ranging from about age 22 to 32; all 4 guys died.  Dave and I recognized the name of one of the departed and after struggling for 10 minutes to try to remember how we knew the name, I realized that we worked with him some 15 or 16 years ago.  Now I should clarify that I was not friends with the guy, he was just somebody I worked with and I really don’t remember much about him.

I know the obvious questions that everybody asks when there is an accident like this and to answer those questions, I don’t know if alcohol or speeding was involved in the accident, however let’s be honest at 1:30 in the morning on Friday night a car hits a tree, there is a good chance that something was not right. But, even if there was no alcohol or speeding involved, it still should serve as a reminder to people how careful one must be when driving. Also, when it comes to alcohol and driving, I myself have a strict zero tolerance policy.  Most people have driven drunk at least once in their life, I however have not. And for the most part, I never drink alcohol at all when I’m driving and I never drive when I have been drinking. I should be honest though, I have done it twice, once when I got laid off of my job, a bunch of us went out after work and I got drunk but stopped drinking about 9pm and drove home about 1or 1:30am and I was sober by then. The other time was this past November when I was at Dave’s house for our Saturday before Thanksgiving feast. I got drunk between 5 and 6pm, ate a whole shitload of food, didn’t drink alcohol the rest of the night and left his house at 4am, sober as could be.

I certainly hope I’m not coming off as being holier than thou or being on a soapbox again, but wanted to stress just how important it is to drive sober and how dangerous it is to drive drunk. I know most people have driven drunk at least once in their lives and to be honest, there really is no excuse for it. Look, everybody likes to drink, I understand that and there is nothing wrong with drinking. The key though is to be responsible. Oh, and remember, if you do stay sober, at least you won’t be waking up with a hangover.

Like at least 3 or 4 people, I watched the State of the Union address last night. And like all those windbags on tv, I have observations, but unlike them mine are going to be here:

• Joe Biden has a going problem. Or maybe its not a going problem but instead a growing problem. Either way, he was a little too………giddy back there. I swear he and Nancy Pelosi were playing grab ass back there. Or maybe Obama had a hole in the ass of his pants and they couldn’t stop smiling about it. Pelosi seems about as genuine as her face, which besides looking all plastic-y, looks kinda like Skeletor. 
• Do we really need 2 people to introduce the president? When he first comes out, one dude says “Ms. Skeletor” and the other one says “The President of the United States!”  As if that isn’t enough, Skeletor introduces him again once he gets behind the podium.
• Republicans have utter disdain towards Obama. Now I don’t expect them to applaud when he says something they disagree with, which oh, by the way, is everything. And that’s fine. But, they sit there with looks of disgust and extreme anger on their faces. Of course, they would react differently if Grandpa McCain or his running mate the ditzy prom queen were speaking. And don’t even bother pointing out that Democrats did the same thing when Bush was in office because the Democrats were too busy giggling at Bush trying to give a speech.
• The Republicans hate Obama so much, that they had to stage their own State of the Union speech as part of their response. Oh sure, their speaker this year was WAAAAAY better than last year’s speak, Indian Opie, but why did they have to try to duplicate the setting of Obama’s speech in every manner possible?
• Although I didn’t observe this myself, my brother said that my two year old niece quietly applauded every time Congress applauded, which means that the Republicans got out clapped by a 2 year old.
• Obama is certainly really good a talking a good game, but then again we learned that two years ago. Of course, the time for talk ended a year ago, its time for action, and if you ask me, he needs to repeal Don’t Ask Don’t Tell immediately. The good news is that if you agree (and I certainly hope you do) you can go to this link and tell the Pres how you feel http://www.couragecampaign.org/page/s/DontDelay

I was at my monthly pizza club outing on Saturday and somebody I was with mentioned something about the service we were receiving from the waiter. For the record, his service was fine, but it got me thinking. I’ve never been a waiter or bartender or a waitress (although in my defense, my danglewood prevents me from being an actual waitress seeing as I would have to be female to be a waitress) but a part of me has always wanted to be one as I’m a people person and love food.  But I was thinking the other night about how people are always judging the wait staff. I mean, its totally justified, seeing as you are going to pay them based on their performance, but I still think it makes people too judgemental. People judge them based on other shit besides their service, and I’m not talking about their attitude, because that goes right along with service. They judge them based on their looks or how they talk or what they are wearing or anything else. Its like they look at the waitress and say to each other “Oh sure, Katie is a good waitress, but she is such a slut. I mean just look at her, I’ll bet she is easier than a bowl of cereal.” Or they look at the waiter and say “Wow, he is so attentive and really takes care of us, but he is such a fucking flamer, I mean could he be any gayer?”

Now I’m in customer service, but its over the phone, so its kind of a totally different ballgame. Oh, I’m sure people deal with difficult customers in person, but over the phone people seem to have a bigger set of balls. That being said, I almost think dealing with customers in person is probably harder. But as for me, if there is one group of people you don’t want to piss off it would be the waiter or waitress. Think about this for a second, you are at their total mercy when it comes to your food. You might think that they didn’t hear you call them an asshole, but they can do whatever the fuck they want to your food. “Call me a slut, did you? Well how’s about if I rub your burger all over my herpes sore!” Or maybe you have been treating the waitress or waiter like shit directly to their face, how do you know they aren’t going to jerk off into your cream of broccoli soup and mix it up real good? All I’m saying is be the fuck careful how and when you judge.

I swear, I’m convinced that Jay Leno is either fucking somebody at NBC, has naked pictures of somebody in power or has put a spell on a high level NBC executive, its the only way this fucker keeps getting his way. Look, the guy is a two bit hack; he’s a hump; he’s not worthy of the money or the attention he is getting. Everybody thinks he is just this really nice guy, but honestly, I don’t buy it for a second, when you look at how he cut David Letterman to get Tonight Show the first time you could see he was kind of a dick. And then the way he takes it back from Conan O’Brien well shit, that’s even lower than how he got it from Dave. He moved to prime time, his ratings sucked ass, why couldn’t they just let him go or maybe find something in another capacity for him.

Of course, I am by my own admission quite a bit biased, after all, I am a huge David Letterman fan, he is arguably my comedy hero. Letterman to me is still pretty damn funny, although he doesn’t do nearly as many cool and funny things that he used to do. Nowadays he stays pretty much in the studio, never venturing out for anything. And I don’t mean only him, he doesn’t do any video outside the studio at all. But, if you ask me, that was when his show was at its best. Just check out this clip right here, its a bit long, over 8 minutes, but well worth it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybPSOdrmClo

Anywho, I’m still way to damn busy to do a normal length post. I hope to be less busy next week.

Look at this, its a rare Friday night post. What kinda loser has nothing else better to do than post on a Friday night? Well how’s about a loser who has been working 12 and 13 hour days for the past two weeks and who has to be up early tomorrow for work. We are so fucking busy at work that we need to work overtime. I might bitch about having to get up at 4:45 in the morning to work those extra hours (I don’t have to be up quite that early tomorrow though) but the reality is that I need the money.

Why do I need the money you might ask? Well I have some very expensive dire repairs I need done to my house. My sister recently moved out and it turns out that the room she was staying in has poor ventilation. Just how poor is poor? Well a couple weeks ago when it got butt ass cold and into the lower single digits, I put a thermomotor in the room and closed the door. I came back a half hour later and it was 38 degrees in there. Also, and I’m not making this up, I could see my breath. My plan is to move into this room and I couldn’t very well do it if it would be so cold that I might go to sleep and never wake up. So I had a guy come out and he told me that it wasn’t as much the lack of force of the air going into the room from the vent (although that is not great) but instead it is more the temperature of the air coming out the the vent. He assumed that the ducts in the crawlspace going into the vent were not insulated. Well he got down into the crawl space the other day only to find that there is a leak down there and there are large puddles of standing water about 3 inches deep and part of the duct is in water. Of course before he could fix it, I must have the leak repaired. Now I don’t know why it is leaking. Maybe its because for the first 5 years that my mother was dead we kept her in the crawl space until one day the funeral director and his band of merrymen came crashing in through the roof and windows to remove her. True story!

And by true story, I mean bullshit, I don’t want anybody assuming that I kept my mom in the crawlspace after she died.

We kept her in the backyard.

So was anybody watching that benefit for Haiti on CNN tonight? I caught bits and pieces of it and was wondering why the hell every damn song that was performed had to be a slow, sad or somber song? I know its a tragedy and all, but they could at least play stuff that wasn’t such a downer. I guess its all right, I was just waiting for Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson to come on, but for some reason they never showed. Hmmmm………..imagine that!

As you all know, I’m a very political person. Somehow, both the Democratic and Republican parties sent me surveys in the mail. The funny part is that the form letter from the Republicans kept mentioning that I was a Republican, which is obviously funny as hell. The questions revolved around how Obama, Reid, and Pelosi are destroying the country. Then at the end of the survey, they asked me to donate money, which of course, I didn’t. The Democrats survey revolved on what I thought of Obama and my general opinion of him and the Dems. It gave a list of 13 things and asked me to rate how important each issue was, with 1 being the most important and 14 being the least important. No, that’s not a typo on my part, they did list 13 things and ask me to rank them 1-14. And then they asked me to donate money, which of course, I didn’t. And to make matters even worse, the survey was too big to fit in the return envelope. Both of these surveys seem to really sum up each party very well. The Republicans are of course fear mongers only concerned with making Obama look bad. The Democrats are so damn inept that they can’t even count and are most concerned with their image and yet these are the fuckers who are have the most amount of Senators and Reps in Congress. I’d be concerned about them being in power, but let’s face it, the Republicans are still the ones with the power.

I swear, there just about nothing as frustrating as politics. And honesty, it doesn’t matter if you are a Republican or a Democrat, both parties seem to always let their bases down and the only time each party is happy is when the opposite party is in the shitter. And both sides seem to only want to do good to fuck up the other side.

As you might know, there was a special election held in Massachusetts yesterday to fill Ted Kennedy’s seat due to him kickin it old school. Well the unimaginable happened, a Republican actually won a former Kennedy seat. This means that the Democrats will no longer have a “supermajority” in the Senate, which means the Republicans can potentially block any of the bills the Dems want to pass, including the health care bill. I’m still struggling to understand how a party that is this much in the minority could hold the power to control legislation. If I remember correctly, (and please correct me if I’m wrong) the Democrats somehow changed the whole filibuster process when Bush was in office to allow them to prevent him from passing certain bills. Of course, somehow, Bush still managed to get things done, even if the things he got done were awful.

But, the potential and very probable failure of the health care bill is 100% the fault of the Democrats. I’m totally livid with them at this point. They had a year to get a damn bill passed with the biggest majority they have had in Congress since 1923 and still couldn’t do it. They are just so inept and impotent with power, oh, and also pussies. They could have had this whole thing passed 6 months ago if they weren’t such pussies. Its why I stop short of calling myself a Democrat, instead I always refer to myself as a liberal.

But this whole thing is so damn disheartening. Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with this damn political party? And its not like I’m going to support the other side, that would be nuts. Its hard to say which party does more damage, the do nothing Democrats or the clusterfuck Republicans. Either way, they both fuckin suck, I can not stress this enough. If you ask me, there needs to be a fucking serious reform of the whole political system. I would love to go into more details about it now, but hell, I’m too damn pissed and have other more important shit to do.

As you may know from my December 14th and January 4th posts, I’m reading a book about American history. When we last left off, I was about 180 pages into the book. Well, now I’m 317 pages into the book and have picked up the pace a tad, I’m now reading 9 pages a day. At this pace, I should be done right around the time the Democrats pass a health care bill! Wait, that’s never going to happen. When I last left off, I was right around the start of the Civil War. Anywho, here is what I have learned in the last 137 pages:

• Abraham Lincoln thought his wife was kidding when she told him to duck.
• Ulysses S Grant appointed a special task force to find out what the S in his middle name stood for. When he couldn’t come up with an answer, he attacked Poland.
• In 1860 the Democrats announce that they are going to pass a health care reform bill before the 2040 election.
• Theodore Roosevelt becomes the first president to lose the Tonight Show to Jay Leno.
• Woodrow Wilson becomes president because 78% of the population confused him for that volleyball in Castaway.
• Alexander Graham Bell invents the telephone. Five minutes later he is interrupted during dinner by some jackbag selling term life insurance. 
• Aquaman and a team of illegal immigrants build the Panama canal. 

Ohhh, aren’t you excited about what I have learned so far? And I know you can’t wait until I write the next post!! Damn if I’m not careful this whole thing will become an internet sensation!

I was watching a documentary today about Martin Luther King on the History Channel. It got me to thinking had I lived in that time, how I would have reacted to the whole civil rights fight. I’m quite certain I would have been a strong supporter of civil rights, however because I’m a complete and utter wuss, I would have stopped short of marching in the civil rights marches because of the fear of getting attacked. But I certainly would have spoken out for civil rights and contributed money to the cause. It also got me to thinking about the biggest civil rights cause of our day, gay rights.

It would be foolish of me to say that gay’s fight for rights is as tough as the trials and tribulations that blacks went through to get their rights and freedoms. After all, blacks were lynched, churches and homes bombed, blacks beaten and murdered and that was just to get equal rights in the 1950s and 1960s. Some of these atrocities still happen. And gay’s basic right to marry is not even close to black’s right to be free from slavery, after all even without our right to marry we will still be able to live a free life, even if it isn’t on equal ground as heterosexuals. It’s not to say that gays aren’t discriminated or have to suffer brutal physical violence against them. Hell, all of us remember Matthew Shepard. But, at the end of the day, it is still about civil rights and still about equality. You can connect the dots of black civil rights and gay civil rights. Blacks did not want to be elevated above whites or take away rights from whites, they just wanted equality. And the same can be said of gays. We don’t want something heterosexuals don’t have, we just want everything that heteros have.

It is uncertain if MLK would have been a supporter of gay rights, however I have read in recent years that his widow, Coretta Scott King, did support gay rights and said that King himself would have been a supporter of gay rights. It was a different time back then; civil rights for gays wasn’t a thought in the least, hell most gays were still firmly entrenched in the closet. What frustrates me is that so many other blacks are not supportive of gay rights; in fact its quite the opposite, they fight against gay rights. It would make sense to think that blacks would support gay rights, knowing the struggle they had just to be free. But, let’s face it, Christianity and religion prevents blacks from supporting gays.

We can win this fight for gay rights, but only if we have support of heterosexuals, just like blacks could not win freedom and rights without the support of whites and just like women could not win the right to vote without the support of males. As you may or may not know, I’ve been reading a book about American history and its amazing how much the straight, white, male has fought to keep every other group of people down. Its also equally amazing that no matter how hard they have fought, the other groups have always been able to overcome and win the rights they deserve. This is what gives me so much hope.

President Obama speaks tough on gay rights. Herein lays the problem. He speaks tough but never seems to follow through with actions. Publicly he is against gay marriage but for civil unions, which is far more than any other president we have ever had. Privately I believe he is for gay marriage but instead is too afraid of what he might lose politically to support gay marriage. Look, he is not going to lose the vote or support of any Obama supporter who is not for gay marriage, this one issue will not hurt him. He really has a chance to show courage by coming out and supporting gays. Some people don’t believe that we need his support, but I feel that he carries so much influence that without him, we will not win this fight for decades to come. As Obama has said several times, the time for words have passed; the time for action is now. Well for Obama, its high time to put his words into action.

Our country was founded on freedom. It is the mere pillar and foundation of America. It is only natural that the next step is taken to give gays the same rights as everybody else and it remains a grave injustice unti we are given those same rights. As King said, “If there is injustice anywhere, than there is injustice everywhere.”

Seriously, who the fuck names their kid Rush anyway? Just what the hell kinda stupid ass name is that? As you might expect, I have never liked this motherfucker. When he mocked Michael J Fox a few years ago pretending to shake I lost any last bit of respect I had for him. And now his comments about the Haiti earthquake. Of course everybody focuses on the political, racial comments he made about Obama and the earthquake, which was pretty bad in itself. I would rather focus on this comment: “We’ve already donated to Haiti. It’s called the U.S. income tax.” Maybe I’m stupid or a bit dim, but I don’t fully understand this comment,So he is pretty much implying that we should not donate or help Haiti financially, but I don’t understand how the U.S. income tax has anything to do with Haiti. Is he saying that we give taxpayer money to Haiti? Honestly, I’m pretty sure that is the case, but it by no means doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t still give to Haiti. I will say this much about the man, at least he didn’t pussy out of the comments he made, afterwards he said that he meant what he said and didn’t apologize. After coming under so much heat, most people would issue some sort of bullshit, insincere  apology for the whole thing. Of course, the reason why he didn’t apologize is because nothing will happen to him if he doesn’t apologize. Hell, he makes a lot of people a whole shitload of money, so he has no incentive to apologize. Also, if he isn’t truly sorry than he shouldn’t apologize. And I know damn well that he made these comments because its what he does; it will get him attention which is what he wants. The problem is that there are a good portion of people (or should I say idiots) who follow and do what he says and won’t donate to the cause because of him. I’m struggling to understand how Rush had heart problems lately; I mean after all, to have heart problems you have to have a heart, which clearly he does not. Its too bad that as part of his recovery he didn’t have to shut the fuck up for the rest of his life.

And then there is Pat Robertson. Ohhhh, Pat. Its been a long time since he said something stupid. Ok, well maybe not a long time. Hell I’m quite certain that he says stupid shit every single day, its just that much of it is not publicly captured or aired. And if it is, when you are talking about Pat Robertson, it has to be REALLY REALLY stupid to get noticed anymore. And this qualifies. Its been a long long time since I have done an edition of “Pat Robertson Says The Dumbest Things” but this my friends is Dumb worthy. If you haven’t seen it yet, see for yourself:

“Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about. [Haitians] were under the heel of the French…and they got together and swore a pact to the Devil. They said, ‘we will serve you if you’ll get us free from the French.’ True story. And the Devil said, ‘OK it’s a deal.’ Ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after another.”

Honestly, where the fuck does he come up with this shit? And why does he always save it until the most inappropriate time to tell the world. I’ve got a wild and overactive imagination, I’m sure if I tried I could come up with things this crazy. And yes I am a bit socially retarded at times, but I would never say something like this at a time like this. Then again, I also don’t believe in the devil. And unlike Pat, I’m not a blood sucking, leach preying on the souls and fears of people when they are at their lowest.

Fortunately most people believe Rush and Pat are nuts, out for attention or just plain assholes, but there is a certain percentage of people who actually believe what they say and because of this, their comments are not exactly harmless.

Everybody makes new year’s resolutions that they never keep, but does anybody ever make a new decade’s resolution that they never keep? I’ve come up with three resolutions that I vowed to do within the next decade. Wait, maybe vow is too strong of a word, after all I did write my resolutions with spray cheese and how could something written in spray cheese be considered a vow. But nevertheless, the three things I promised myself I would do are………….wait a minute, maybe promise is too strong a word. After all, who will be hurt by me breaking my promise other than me? And maybe the hookers and bookies that stand to lose out on my business. Ok, so let’s just say there are three things that I would love to do in the next decade:

Actually, maybe not love. That might too strong a word. Maybe just really like. Yes. These are three things I would really like to do. No, I would love to do. Yes, love is the right word

• Go to the Kentucky Derby. I’m a gambler. And I love sports. And horse racing brilliantly combines both, even if they do whip the shit out of the horses. I’ve always wanted to go to the Derby. And it’s only 5 hours away, I have to wonder to myself why the hell I haven’t gone yet, after all I have a couple of friends who have always wanted to go as well. Don’t let anybody fool you, the Kentucky Derby is the biggest sporting event in the world. Its not just all the celebs that go, usually around 150,000 people go. You buy a $40 ticket in the infield and its a wild party. I like to say that the Derby is kinda like the Super Bowl meets Mardi Gras, which brings me to my next resolution.
• Go to Mardi Gras. A lady I work with told me she has been to Mardi Gras and that everybody should go at least once in their life. I’ve never been, but that’s a good enough reason for me, after all I have always kinda wanted to go and I’ve never needed an excuse to party.
• Ring in the new year in Time Square. This is one of those “do it just to do it” things. A friend of a friend did this one year and all it is is a ton of people pretty much just standing around all day just to watch a damn ball drop. I hear that alcohol is not even permitted in Time’s Square on New Year’s Eve. But again, its something to do.

I have to say, I really missed the boat on this idea when the new century rolled around, I could have made all sorts of resolutions and never would have made it or failed it because I would be dead before the next century ended.