February 23, 2010

• Mikey Issues

  Shocking news that I’m sure you have heard by now. Its so shocking that I’m going to ask that you sit down. If you are already sitting, than please stand up and than sit again. There. Only now are you adequately prepared to handle this news. Dick Cheney had a heart attack. I know, this probably shocks you so much that you get weak in the knees, which is why I told you to sit. I mean, who knew that Dick Cheney actually had a heart?

  I’m on a goal right now to try to find out who my mother’s Godfather was. The rumor in our family is that my mother’s Godfather was a “Godfather”, to be more specific, one Tony Accardo. Don’t know who he is? He was only the leader of the Chicago mob for the better part of anywhere between 20 and 40 years depending on who you ask. I have no idea if this rumor of him being my mom’s Godfather is even true, but I would love to know if its true. For starters, Accardo was born in 1906 which would have made him 27 when my mom was born in 1934 (no my math isn’t bad, my mom was born in February and he didn’t turn 28 until April) meaning that he was indeed old enough to be my mom’s Godfather. I’ve always heard that my mom’s family had mob connections, although I have no idea if that is even true. Still, its interesting enough to want to know. Recently, somebody gave me the brilliant idea recently of checking baptismal records of the church in which she was born. I have a call into the Chicago Archdiocese and am pending a call back from this lady who will probably not call me back until I call a few times. And even then, I still don’t know if they will have record of it, I mean my mom was born in 1934 for fuck’s sake and who knows if that church is even still around. I tried to look in my parent’s wedding album assuming that they would put the name of the church they were married in but they didn’t write it in there. Seriously, who the hell doesn’t write where they got married at in their wedding album? Now I don’t want to just ask somebody in my family because that is exactly how the rumor got started only to be disputed by another family member. Still I hope to find out someday so that I may use it to exploit people for money, food, sex and Cubs tickets.

  Several of yous people (see, I’m already talkin’ like a mobster!) wanted to know how things went with my friend who I came out to recently. As tough as it was, it went well, to a point. She is still in a state of denial about the whole thing. We went out on Thursday night and spent a couple of hours talking about nothing but my homosexuality. What makes it so tough for her is that she likes me. A lot. That has been the hardest thing for her, is finally realizing and understanding why all those years I did not want her. Now she knows. And she has been supportive and accepting and not mad at all.

  I also had a bit of a dispute with another friend recently regarding my homosexuality. After a long night of drinking, he said some things that were…………..well, to put it bluntly, bigoted towards gays. I thought long and hard and wrestled with the choice as to if I were going to forgive him. In the end though, we talked it out and although I still believe he might be homophobic, I decided to forgive him and move on, as my not forgiving him affects quite a few people.

  As for the title of this post, about 10 years ago I worked with a guy who heard many of the stories about my crazy family. He said that I  had issues and started calling me Mikey Issues. I always thought that would be a great mafia nickname.

  • 10:21 pm
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