September 8, 2010
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Somebody’s Gonna Lotto
I saw a documentary over the weekend on HBO called Lucky about people who have won the lotto. It was kind of interesting to see how people handle winning. There was one guy from suburban Chicago who was in his mid 40s, single with no kids and had lost his parents. He was severely depressed and was a hoarder who lived in a complete and utter disgusting house and was literally down to his last three dollars when he bought a ticket which won him 5.5 million dollars. There was another guy who won 16.5 million dollars in the Pennsylvania lotto and had spent it all within 2 years. Turns out he was nuts. He wasted his money on lots of things, including 400 pairs of the exact same jeans for some reason. Also, he claims his siblings were trying to kill him to get his money. He was even on Springer once. Crazy shit.
It got me to thinking what I would do if I won the lottery. I should mention that I very rarely play. Now I am a gambler, in fact, I love to gamble, but for some reason, I play the lottery only about 2 or 3 times a year. I do buy scratch offs from time to time, but I really don’t know why I don’t play the actual lottery more often. I don’t often fantasize about what I would do if I won. But, I guess this is what this post is for. So here are a few things I would do:
- Fucking retire!- I know some people say they wouldn’t retire but fuck that shit. Sure, I’m young enough that in order to retire I would have to win several million if I’m going to never work again, but if I did, fuck that getting up early shit every day and working for an evil, heartless corporation.
- Philanthropise- A certain percentage of winnings would be donated to a variety of charities. Or maybe I would start my own charity. And since I wouldn’t be working, I could volunteer more of my time to things that don’t involve building a house. I’m a walking disaster with tools, doing the whole Habitat for Humanity thing would eventually lead me to kill or maim somebody resulting in a lawsuit in which I lose a good chunk of my millions. Unless of course, I kill or maim myself, which would render my winnings useless at least to me.
- Travel the world in places that don’t result in American beheadings- I love to travel. And there is a lot to see. I would go all the fuck over, even outer space if they let me.
- Hook up some of my family and friends- Well I need people to hangout with all day and travel the world, right?
- Get season tickets to the Chicago Cubs, Bulls and Bears- This is a no brainer, shit if I win a fuckload of money maybe I will even buy a stake in the teams. I should rethink this one though, I mean do I really want to subject myself to that much of the Cubs?
- Make a really cheap, bad movie- Shit, why not? Have you seen some of the crap that’s out there nowadays, honestly, I’m not saying it would be good, in fact I’m quite certain it would be bad, but could it really be worse than Glitter?
So that is just a few things I would do. Oh, and I would invest too, but not only in the American stock market because, well, I want to keep my money, not lose it all. So what would you do if you won?
Comments (2)
Ryan and i have talked about this. We would invest MOST of it. I’d probably do a little shopping for clothes. We’d build our own home. Ryan says that he would not quit his job because he would be bored….go figure! He would want to join a country club. He’d probably work part time and play golf all the time. We would make sure the money would not destroy us. I’ve seen it happen to too many people who win the lottery. I’m sure we’d give some to family as well and donate to charities. But we would not change our lifestyle too drastically. Our #1 goal would be keeping the money safe so it would last us our entire lives.
It depends on the amount of money I won. 2 million or less, I would keep working. I would buy a nice house in Tulsa, which can be found for 200k. I would probably buy a new car and a boat. Then invest in safe things. If I won like 10 million, I would quit work (eff corporate America!), do the things I listed above but I would help out friends and family. The money would make a difference to more of my friends since we are all broke but I would insure my parents were taken care of and got to have fun travelling. I would pay for my nieces education as well, if they let me!
I would also hire a personal chef and a trainer so I can drop these pounds. Once I lost the weight, depending on how my body looked, I would get plastic surgery for loose skin. Oh and I would sign up for the millionaire matchmaker but I would make her come to Tulsa to find me a man!!
I wouldn’t really care to spend too much money on clothes if I was still fat. You can’t find designer clothes in my size so I would wait until I lost the weight, then go buy classic, expensive clothes! Oh an shoes!!!
I would also buy a modest lake house if I won big money. And travel!! Jamaica, Alaska, Greece, Italy, Ireland, Australia, Netherlands, France, England, Bahamas etc. Oh and new furniture that matches and has style! A tempurpedic bed and a maid!!
Ok now I’m going to buy a lotto ticket. I think I have bought 3-4 since the lotto started here a few years ago. My sister thinks I have amazing luck and that I will win. I don’t think so but it is fun to dream. Kinds depressing though, considering most of my dreams aren’t ever going to be possible unless I marry rich. I can’t picture myself making a lot of money in my lifetime because I don’t really have specialized skills.