February 27, 2011
-
Weekend Update, With Former First Lady Betty Fucking Ford!
I had a busy weekend that I will try to briefly summarize here in this post. Friday night I headed into Chicago for dinner with a friend. We wound up eating at Chicago’s legendary restaurant The Italian Village. Actually, I have no idea if it is legendary at all. But, it has been around for a long as fucking time so maybe it is legendary. Either way it was some good Chinese food. What, you assumed it was Italian food just because it is called The Italian Village? Well that is certainly presumptuous of you.
After dinner we walked something like 300 blocks over to the Dave and Buster’s. Did you know that neither Dave and Buster were actually there that night? Turns out they were off getting gay married in Paris. Well fuck them anyway!
On the way home I got talked (or should I say texted into, since it was via text) stopping off at my brother’s house to hang out with my brothers and my two best friends. We did some shit and yadda, yadda, yadda, I was tired in the morning.
Last night was one of those nights in which I had to be in two places at once. So, I invested $152,362.78 in a clone of myself to attend both events. Well, the clone got to my house and right away I could see it was defective. First of all, he instantly tried to kill me. Next, I noticed that he was Japanese and wasn’t wearing clothes. Finally, I realized he wasn’t real. Somebody is going to have to answer for this fucking shit; the good people at clonemyjunk.com are going to get the nastiest fucking letter from my fake lawyers.
So what did I have to do you ask? Well, first I had a card game to go that started at 7 in the pm and a going away party that started an hour later. Fortunately, they were kind of close to each other, so if I lost in the card game quick enough, I could easily do both. Well, it turns out that while I suck at cards, I’m not bad enough to be at the party by the time it started but not good enough to finish in the money. Instead I finished 4th, which made the whole thing fruitless since only the top 3 get paid out.
I was able to make it to the party by around 10:15. There were still plenty of people there and honestly, I didn’t miss much, especially since I didn’t even get home until shortly after 4am. All in all a pretty good time though.
And of course, tonight is the Oscars, which I watched a grand total of 0 minutes. How do I know I didn’t watch the Oscars if they haven’t even aired yet? Because awards shows fucking suck ass so why would I waste my time with them. Oh sure, I’ve got a little interest in who wins Best Picture, but that is only because I someday dream of making a really bad movie that wins Worst Picture at the Bizzaro Oscars.
So what was my weekend update, how about yours?
