May 17, 2011
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1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8
My friends and I are spending this upcoming weekend in Milwaukee for some reason. Whenever I’m in Milwaukee the theme song from Laverne and Shirley goes through my head and this time is no different. In fact I spent most of the day with the song flowing through my head, repeating the lyrics over and over. It finally hit me: those two bitches are a couple of fucking anarchists! Just look at these lyrics along with my interpretation in parenthesis:
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. (counting to get the attention of their fellow anarchists)
Sclemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated. (Sclmeel? Schlemazel? Hasenfeffer? Clearly this is a secret message to other anarchists)
We’re gonna do it! (Its like a Goddamn rally cry!)
Give us any chance, we’ll take it. (That basically means, we will do anything legal)
Give us any rule, we’ll break it. (and if its not legal, fuck you, we are doin’ it anyway!)
We’re gonna make our dreams come true. (We can do whatever the fuck we want asshole!)
Doin’ it our way. (Fuck you, it’s our way and a punch in the fucking face for you)
Nothin’s gonna turn us back now, (Fuck the police yo!)
Straight ahead and on the track now. (fuck the government, this is our fucking country!)
We’re gonna make our dreams come true, (ANYTHING, fucker! Anything we want)
Doin’ it our way. (Wait, maybe this should be my fucking way, after all, we are anarchists)
There is nothing we won’t try, (Think I won’t kill a man? Just fucking watch, bitch!)
Never heard the word impossible. (Ain’t no fucking jail gonna hold us!)
This time there’s no stopping us. (Trying to stop us is pointless! ANARCHY!!)
We’re gonna do it. (I SAID ANARCHY! DOWN WITH THE GOVERNMENT AND RULES! EVERYBODY FOR THEMSELVES)
On your mark, get set, and go now, (Start running asshole, this shit is gonna blow!)
Got a dream and we just know now, (We all know how this ends: freedom from tyranny!)
We’re gonna make our dream come true. (DOWN WITH TYRANNY!)
And we’ll do it our way, yes our way. (Fuck you, fuck you!!!)
Make all our dreams come true, (I am an anti-Christ, I am an anarchist, don’t know what I want, but I know how to get it)
And do it our way, yes our way, (Anarchy for the UK, it’s coming sometime and maybe)
Make all our dreams come true (ANARCHY FOR ALL!! DOWN WITH THE GOVERNMENT!)
For me and you. (We are lesbians!! Fuck this anarchy, let’s do it!)See what I’m saying, it’s all right there in black and white. That Laverne De Fazio and Shirley Feeney are bad fucking news. Just look at them. They worked in a brewery for crying out loud; hello, nothing represents anarchy and out of control more than gettin’ drunk. And they lived together and we all know lesbians are a total fuck you to the heterosexual establishment. See people, it’s all there.
We can’t let these two get away with this shit. We need to have Congress and the President act immediately to ban Laverne and Shirley before they start a revolt and take down the government. Now that Bin Laden is out of the picture, we all know there is going to have to be somebody to replace him; well, these two pose the biggest threat in a post Bin Laden world. That is why I’m encouraging you to write your senator, write your rep, write the president, tell them that Laverne De Fazio and Shirley Feeney must be stopped at any cost. I’ve already written both my senators, the president, my rep, and the head of People for the Advancement of Crazy Jewish Phrases to encourage them to do everything in their power to stop them. Now it’s your turn.
