September 7, 2011

• Brandon Marshall

  I’ve made similar posts about my name previously. But, agirl at work recently was asking me what I prefer to be called, Mike, Michael,Mikey or something else. She said I should come up with different personalitiesfor each of my aliases. I should clarify that for the record, as if there wasan actual record, my given name on my Kenyan birth certificate is Michael. Iwas named after my mother’s father and my mother refused to call me Mike, butinstead always called me Michael or yousonofabitch. But, nevertheless, Idecided to come up with different personalities for each name, mainly because Ithought it would be funny and because I needed something to write about.

  • Michael- We will start with the original name. Michael is the part of me who is well behaved and has nice manners. He is also thoughtful and the smartest of all of my personalities. He is not around very often, because he is a boring fuck.
  • Mike- He is the most common one and around most often. He is obnoxious, loud, blunt and generally a dick. But he is fun. You either love or hate him. He is also the one who does most of the posting.
  • Mikey- I swear I’ve never once introduced myself or Mikey or told anybody ever to call me Mikey, yet for some reason, lots of people call me that and it is usually people at work. Anywho, Mikey is immature, and often like a child but in a good way. He is the one who rides shopping carts, watches Tom & Jerry, eats Cookie Crisp, who loves chocolate and who throws a football at a 12 year old in a basement, breaking shot glasses and spilling drinks.
  • The Mick- When I attempt to be a total hard ass, I bust out The Mick. When I get pissed off and start going off on some sort of stupid rant that might end with me in a fight that is The Mick. Unfortunately for me, it is not possible to be 5’6 130lbs and be a hard ass. The Mick is also difficult.
  • Mickey- I hate that name. Don’t ever call me it; I hate it so much I didn’t even bother to create a personality for it.
  • Rick Mumbles- This was a name given to me by some friends of mine, mainly because I have a tendency to mumble from time to time. Rick Mumbles turns up a lot when I’m drunk. Gee, imagine that.

   So that is pretty much it, I think I managed to fiteverybody into the above names. Maybe someday I will be able to add onto thelist.

  • 10:02 pm
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