September 13, 2011

• Smoke Attack

  People my home state of Illinois is under attack from the rouge state of Minnesota. It turns out the smoke from some wildfires in northeastern Minnesota has invaded Illinois. I think its clear that they have been started to go to war with us here in Illinois. And you know why right? They hate us for our freedom to our governors. They believe that all of our governors are corrupt and should all be put in jail, when in reality it is a scant six out of every seven Illinois governors are corrupt. So what do those Minnesotan fuckers do? They start a damn wildfires in the hopes that they get so far out of control that the smoke winds up here in Illinois. Well guess what fuckers, it worked! The National Weather Service is issuing a warning about the smoke that has somehow managed to find its way here from Minnesota.

  Where am I located here in Illinois you ask? Well I’m about a half hour southwest of Chicago without traffic; with traffic it’s about two weeks. I work a couple of towns over in Naperville and when I left work today, there was a slight haze and a semi potent burning smell from these said fires. And they are saying that it will probably get worse overnight. Wow, ain’t that totally fucked up that fires some 400 miles away can affect us?

  But don’t worry, I’m sure we will fight back against Minnesota. After all, they can’t get away with this. I bet part of the problem is their shitty ass fucking sports teams. Wow, there isn’t a great team among the bunch. And it only gets worse and worse for them. So I say Illinois should fight back by, ohhhh, I dunno, maybe spurning a couple of tornadoes their way.

  • 10:20 pm
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