Most of the people that read this are females. So without sounding too much like an asshole, I’ve got a question or two. Why is it that there seems to be two things females never do alone? When they are out ladies always go to the bathroom together? Also, why do ladies always get there hair done in groups?

I’ve got a large group of friends and most of the wives all get together about once a month and have their hair done together at another ladies house. Why is this? What exactly goes on during these hair sessions? Oh, I’m sure there is a fair share of gossip but certainly there has got to be more than just gossip. I feel like I’m missing out on something; after all what is so damn special that it requires all of them to be together to get it done.

It is the same thing with the bathroom. When they are out together, women always seem to go to the bathroom together. I understand the whole wedding thing and going with the bride because let’s face it, that dress takes a team of people to deal with, but I’m just saying at bars or other places. Guys don’t go to the bathroom together, but it’s like if one girl has to go they all have to go. I guess I just feel like there is something I’m missing out on when people do things without me. Hell, it’s not like I’m begging to get invited to the bathroom or that I have an overwhelming desire to take part in having my hair done but I just have to wonder what goes on at these things that necessitates a group of ladies?

Last night I was sitting there watching t.v. when I had avery interesting idea which some might consider totally nuts, or cool buteither way certainly not boring: going to the Super Bowl. Well, not really theactual game. But, the Super Bowl is a whole week long event, not just a game.Oh, sure the game itself is an actual game in that two teams play a four hourfootball game to determine who is the best team in the NFL. But, the wholeSuper Bowl is so much more than that.

The week of the Super Bowl is a total event in the host city complete withconcerts and celebrities and parties and all sorts events. In short, it is theplace to be; almost the entertainment capital of the world for a week. Thisyear’s Super Bowl is being held in Indianapolis.And being that I live in the southwest suburbs of Chicago,I’m not all that far from Indy, in fact from my house to Lucas Oil Stadium itis only a three hour and 12 minute drive. Basically, a day trip. As a matter offact, this is the closest the Super Bowl has ever been to Chicagoand probably the closest it will ever be.

Now as much as I would like to go to the actual game, I’m not exactly going todrop $4,000 on a ticket. But, going to the whole pregame parties and the eventson Saturday is certainly a possibility. They even have a fan fest there that is$25 and gets you a chance to meet some players and experience other things. TheSuper Bowl is pretty much every football fan’s wet dream; shit, even casualfans or even non fans would love to go. And here I have the opportunity of alifetime to go, but alas my none of my friends have any interest in going.

Sigh. I guess this is just something that a single guy with no kids couldrealistically do, but people who are married or with kids would have asignificantly tougher time doing. I won’t rule it out though. I can’t say thaton Saturday I definitely won’t get up and drive down there.

I don’t know how many of you realize this, but right now we are all very fortunate to be alive and share this planet with one of the greatest people who has ever lived: Newt Gingrich. As a matter of fact, I’m not even so certain that a little peon like myself is worthy to even mention his name. But, I can’t very well post about one of the top 10 greatest people to ever live without mentioning his name. I’m thinking though that I probably should adjust how I refer to him though. I should refer to him as President Elect Gingrich, since it is a forgone conclusion that he will not only be president but also have at the very minimum two terms as president and possibly more once all of America recognizes that he is the greatest president/world leader in the history of mankind and in fact, one of the top five people to ever live.

The problem though is that right now, while he runs for the Republican nomination, the liberal elite media has the audacity to ask about his record and his life. For example, at a recent debate, PRESIDENT ELECT GINGRICH (his greatness mandates that his name be in all caps) chided the media for daring to ask a question about the rumor that he asked his second wife for an open marriage. Damn that media, it is all your fault for getting his former wife to recount him asking her for an open marriage. After all it was totally her fault and her fault alone that she got multiple sclerosis forcing PRESIDENT ELECT GINGRICH to find somebody else who was more worthy to receive his seed. The media should be ashamed.

Just like his first wife, who should be ashamed and condemned for having the gull to get cancer while married to PRESIDENT ELECT GINGRICH. After all, nobody with cancer should be allowed to sully one of the top three people who has ever lived by coming into contact with him. Because of PRESIDENT ELECT GINGRICH’S strong and passionate love of his country, he had no choice but to cheat on his wives with other ladies. This of course is squarely the fault of the America hating liberals; if they loved America even a quarter as much as PRESIDENT ELECT GINGRICH than he would not have to love America even more, leading him to cheat on his wife.

So what exactly is PRESIDENT ELECT GINGRICH doing with his life right now? Well you can be certain he is not a lobbyist for any company or corporation, that is for sure. I mean, when a normal person gets paid by industries and corporations to lobby on behalf of them to congress, it is called a lobbyist. When PRESIDENT ELECT GINGRICH speaks to congress on behalf of corporations, it is something totally different.

Now unfortunately PRESIDENT ELECT GINGRICH is forced to actually run for president instead of just be allowed to become president because he wants to. This process also entails debates, which are totally unfair should PRESIDENT ELECT GINGRICH some how manage to lose a debate. It is not his fault, but instead the fault of the liberal elite media which asks that the audience keep quiet during the debate, which clearly is not fair to PRESIDENT ELECT GINGRICH because, after all, how could you expect people to be quiet and control themselves when they are in the nearby presence of PRESIDENT ELECT GINGRICH, after all he is only the greatest person who has ever lived.

Recently I have been taking swimming lessons which has given me a chance to spend sometime in a health club locker room. Does anybody else find locker rooms to be really really fucking weird. Really weird. And it is totally obvious what it is. It’s the nakedness. And because of this nakedness, I think it leads to some sort of odd, sexual tension in a way.  I mean you always here guys say stuff like “well if I ever saw a dude checking me out in the locker room I would beat the shit out of him.” Yet, why are those same guys strutting around the damn locker room naked?

And people do weird shit when they are naked. Today I saw a guy standing in front of the mirror completely naked, I mean wearing absolutely nothing, except maybe he was wearing shower slippers. He had just gotten out of the shower and was drying himself with the hair dryer. Now I don’t mean that he was drying just his hair. He was drying EVERYTHING. Shit, he even reached around and used it to dry his ass! I took what was one of the more awkward pisses of my life before going back to my locker, drying off and getting dressed, which took probably five minutes. The whole time he was still drying himself. Then on my way out of the locker room, there he goes walking by wearing nothing. I almost walked into him.

And then you have the showers. All the shower stalls have curtains, yet there are guys who insist upon showering with the damn curtain open, which means that we can not only see everything but also the water gets out of the shower. Seriously, it’s like these guys want other guys to see them naked. Perhaps they are gay. Perhaps they are proud of their junk. Or maybe they want guys to go back out and brag about how big the other dude’s dick is.

Now I know a lot of people go there to lose weight or get healthy, but fuck, why is it that there are so many disgusting, fat and/or old guys strolling around naked in the damn locker room. I’m not saying they shouldn’t go there or even that they shouldn’t get changed, but shit, can they at least stop having naked conversations with other fat guys. Fuck, have some courtesy and at least put on a damn robe.

Ever go through those times when you just don’t have much to say or post about? It is is not often but I’m in one of those places right now. I guess it is okay though because I have been so busy lately that I just haven’t had time to make any real posts. I’m hoping to have time over the weekend and next week for something better. In the meantime though I should read and comment on other people’s sites.

My best friend is getting married in Jamaica in May and my other friend and I are the only two guys standing up in the wedding. Well, I’m booked and nearly all paid, but my other friend, that’s a different story, he doesn’t even have his passport yet. My best friend and I have decided to do things to encourage him to get his passport and get booked. At this point he still has plenty of time to get his passport. But, he does not have plenty of time for there to be problems with the passport and still expect to get it sorted out before the trip. So far this is what we have done:

• I purposely bought him a Bob Marley shirt that I knew would be too small on him. My plan was to sneak in his car and leave it hanging from his rear view mirror. When I opened his beat up car, I noticed that he didn’t even have a rear view mirror. So I had to leave it on his steering wheel.
• We left a jar of Jamaican jerk spice in his car. 
• A couple of weeks ago he left his coat at another friends house. This weekend I’m going to pick the coat up and not give it back to him until he gets his passport.
• I also  might leave some empty bottle of Red Stripe on his porch and perhaps a Jamaican flag hung to his garage door.

I’m open to other ideas if anybody has any.

As many of you know, recently I remodeled my front room, hallway and bedroom. Because of all the hard work, blood, sweat, and anger (sorry, but I’m not the type that cries, so no tears) that went into it, I decided to throw a party to celebrate. Also, I’m always looking for any excuse to throw a party. Now we are not 100% done yet with the rooms; we do still have some trim that needs to go up around a few of the doors but the nail gun we were using stopped working. But, on we went with the party this weekend.

I decided to make it an adult only party. This wound up being a disappointment to some and source of controversy for others and I knew that by making it an adult only party, it would limit the number of people who came and also some people would not stay as late. What can I say though, as much as I love kids, I love a good party just as much and when our group of friends get together to party it usually turns raucous and, well, kinda dirty at times, certainly no place for a child to be. This is my idea of a good time. And last night was no exception.

My sister in law’s parents were unable to make it, but they did send along a gift with her. It was a gag gift, the ugliest Christmas sweater you would ever see. Now I’ve got to find somebody else to pass it on to. Shouldn’t be hard though. I’ve got a couple of people in mind. I really should post a picture of it, one of my friends took a picture of me wearing it.

Overall the party was a good time, however it did end earlier then I would have liked. And of course, I’m a little more hungover than I would like to be, but hey, it was worth it.

I’m not going to lie people. I like porn. Wait, that shouldn’t come as a shock to anybody, after all most normal guys like porn. Shit, without porn there would be no internet. Hell, if I started posting naked pictures and other pornographic material on here I’m sure my footprints and views would fucking skyrocket. Fuck, about the only thing more popular than porn are orgasms which many times are the direct result of porn. It has always been this way though, however it wasn’t until the internet that porn became so accessible and so free. And with the internet, everybody can be a porn star.

A couple of years ago I happened upon a site called cam4.com which, well, let me explain the concept. See, first you get yourself a computer and some form of internet connection. Next you get yourself a webcam, go to cam4.com and take it off and start masterbating for the whole fucking world to see! And what’s even better than masterbating than getting paid to masterbate. That’s right, people pay to watch you! Oh, you can do it for free, but the smart ones charge for it. So let me get this straight, a generation ago people were made fun of and shamed for masterbating; now you can proudly go online and get paid while the entire world watches you pleasure yourself. Fuck, what a world we live in. Man, to be a adult teenager in this society; raging hormones, a 24 hour erection and plenty of people willing to pay you to see you cum and cum and cum again. Fuck, where was the internet when I was walking around with a stiff dick pointing out of my pants 20 hours a day?

Call me pathetic, call me what you will, but I’m kind of addicted to this site. I love the everyday, boy next door type as opposed to your porn star muscle freaks. And what better way to watch straight guys get off either by fucking in front of the camera or jerking off. Of course, the ironic part is that normally a straight guy would kick my ass if he saw me checking out his junk or watching him fuck but shit, thanks to the internet, my kind of voyeurism is encouraged by the very same people who would kick my ass.

I’ve never been the type to bitch about how much better the current generation has it than when I was growing up because, hey, every generation has it better than the previous and that is just the way it is and no use in bitching about it. But, in the case of porn……….fuck, I was a gay teenager with absolutely no access to porn besides my mind. And shit, even straight kids coming of age prior to the internet had limited access to porn. Nowadays though, just turn on your computer and there it is. And with this site, it literally could be your neighbor or co worker naked. Or perhaps somebody here on Xanga could be naked on that site. Shit, who am I kidding though, there is really only one person (maybe two) who will actually check this site out after this post.

By the way, did anybody catch my song lyric in this post?

I’ve had a really shitty couple of days. I guess it kind of all started Saturday. I’m in a fantasy football league that goes all the way through until the NFC and AFC championship games, which are this upcoming weekend. A friend and I got a team together and were fortunate enough to make the playoffs. We were even more fortunate in that we won our first playoff game. So this weekend, we drafted really well for our team against this other guy who had been out of the country for the past week and was drafting with us over the phone on the way home from the airport Friday night. We were lucky enough to draft Tom Brady but then dumb enough not to fucking start him, instead going with Drew Brees and Eli Manning. Not bad. In fact, on just about any other week, this would have been great. But, this was not any normal week. Brady threw six touchdown passes, three of which went to a player who our opponent had. After the first game of the weekend, the Saints at the 49ers, we had a huge lead. After the last game of the weekend, the Giants and Packers, we had lost. With the loss was a chance to play for the championship. Hell, all we had to do was win and we would have made money. But we lost.

Sunday while driving, I got a text and I struggled to get my phone out of my pocket as I drove. Well I must have done something wrong, because the damn phone stopped working. Kind of. While the actual cell phone was totally fucking dead, somehow it still worked through the Ford Sync. Don’t ask me how, I have no fucking clue. Long story short, I never got the damn thing to work so I took it to Sprint to be looked at and they were unable to even get it to work. So they gave me a brand new phone, the exact same kind I had. Unfortunately though, I lost EVERYTHING, contacts, pictures, ringtones, text messages, I mean everything. Fuck, do you realize how many pictures of my dick are on that thing?

Being the holiday, I was going to work from home on Monday. I had gotten a remote all set up on my computer so that all I had to do was pretty much roll out of bed, have some breakfast and work. Well as it turned out, while I was able to get it working on Saturday and Sunday, I never actually tried the main system I needed to work and of course, as things were going, it did not work on Monday morning. So, I had to fucking go into work.

Uggh, I guess it wasn’t all that bad. I mean if this is my idea of a bad couple of days I guess I should consider myself lucky.

On January 1 of this year a new law went into effect here in Illinois that you might find just a tad bit crazy. Or awesome, depending on who you are. It is now legal here in Illinois to go if you are riding a motorcycle as long as you “stop for a reasonable amount of time.” That’s right people, motorcycle riders can now blow red lights!

What is the reasoning behind this law you ask? Well, the thinking here is that motorcycles are too light to trip the censors for stop lights, therefore you get people on motorcycles sitting there waiting forever for the damn light to turn green. Annoying, I know. But, you know what else is annoying? Nailing the fuck out of somebody on their motorcycle, sending them 20 feet into the air before slamming to their inevitable death on the now blood splattered road. See, it is also legal to ride without a helmet here in Illinois. Now don’t get me wrong, I am all for that law, after all if you want to ride around without a helmet and kill yourself or worse yet, turn yourself into Gary Busey, go right ahead, it’s none of my business. But blowing red lights? Well, that is a disaster waiting to fucking happen.

And just what exactly is a “reasonable amount of time”? Is it anything like a reasonable attempt to avoid a pitch in baseball? Because that rule is totally judgmental and always controversial. I mean suppose somebody is riding a bike and they stop for two seconds and than continue to text and ride, is that long enough? Or is 60 seconds more reasonable? I mean, just how exactly is a cop supposed to enforce a law that is open for interpretation? Shit, after all, what is reasonable for me (waiting until the light fucking turns green) may not be reasonable for somebody else (pull up to the light, look both ways and zoom off). My guess is that this is going to turn into a war of words between cops and riders, that is assuming the rider is not smacked by the semi truck they didn’t see coming through the intersection.

Now here in Illinois, this is a law that people are only able to take advantage of half the year since it is not warm enough to ride from about mid October until mid April. But, within a day or two of the law going into effect, I actually saw people on the road riding their motorcycles in spite of the fact that it was about only 35 degrees out. I’ll let you know more once the spring comes and I narrowly miss hitting some asshole on a Harley.