As I write this, I’m some 34 hours away from hopping a flight to Miami to connect with a flight to Montego Bay, Jamaica for my best friend’s wedding. This will be my first time in Jamaica and only the second time i have ever left the country. The wedding is set for this Friday at sunset. I will not be returning to the country until Wednesday May 9th. So of course this means that I will not be updating until I get back when I will no doubt have lots of stories and pics to share.

This weekend was the long awaited bachelor party for my best friend J.T. Being that I am co-best man, it came down to me and the other best man to plan the party. Because just about all of the other guys in the group are already married, I aimed big with the thought that this very well could be last bachelor party for the group. I wanted to do a whole weekend of partying, not just one day or night. So the plan was to start on Friday at 8 in the morning and the three of us drive three and a half hours each way to Ho Chunk Casino in Wisconsin. Unfortunately though, the other best man had to work so we were unable to go. But, the groom and I still hung out all day. I was up at 6:30 and all dressed and ready to go when he sent me a text pushing it back until 9. The day was pretty cool though it was just me and him, first we had breakfast at his house then played golf. After a late lunch of pizza, we picked up the keg before heading to the casino to lose money.

We had plans to play poker at my house at 8:30. We wound up having five guys for poker and as usual it was a great time. We wound up playing until fairly late and then didn’t get to bed until almost four. As is the case when I drink, I have trouble sleeping and this was no different. I wound up getting up at about eight in the morning to go to the bathroom and then was unable to fall back asleep. I eventually got out of bed at about 10:15 as we had a jam packed, fun day ahead of us.

I picked up Dave and J.T. about one and we raced over to Whirly Ball which was about a half hour away. For those of you not familiar with Whirly Ball all you need to know for this story is that you are in a bumper car and are subjected to repeated violent hits. Oh there is more to it, but in the interest of time, this is all I’m saying. The whole ride there my stomach was getting kind of queasy and, well gassy. This is the part of the story that might be too much info, but it is funny so I’m sharing.

We were supposed to play from 2-4 and right about 1:55 we were standing on the court while the worker went over the rules when it hit me: I urgently needed to go to the bathroom. So off I went to go relive the famous bathroom scene from Dumb and Dumber only this time in a public bathroom. As if it were a scene from a movie, while I was in there, another friend came into the bathroom to tell me to hurry up because they could not start until I signed some paperwork. Ohhh fuck me. Here we are paying a ton of money to play Whirly Ball and I was holding the whole thing up because I couldn’t get off the toilet. A few minutes later Dave came in there to yell at me about how I was holding up Whirly Ball for 12 people and to hurry up. So I yelled at him “LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.” Man what a funny fucking scene me sitting on the shitter yelling out at him to shut the fuck up. When I finally did finish, I went out there and they had taken care of the signature and were just about to start playing.

After my eventful time in the bathroom, I realized there was no way I can play as the last thing I needed was to be getting slammed in a bumper car while squeezing my cheeks and hoping. I ran to the local Walgreen’s to pick up some Imodium A-D and came back but my stomach was still bothering me and this time I had some very nasty cramps. One of my friends suggested that I not only drink water but drink Gatorade as well. So  back to Walgreen’s I went. We were also planning on going to Hooters after Whirly Ball, but I figured that I should skip it. Finally about 3:30 I realized I would be better served if I just went home. I swear that fucking drive took forfuckingever, shit I might as well have been driving to fucking Texas.

After some time at home and some much needed Gatorade, I was feeling much better. Everybody was planning on being back at my house about 7:30. We have a friend of ours who plays guitar and sings and Dave and I decided to surprise J.T. and have him perform at the bachelor party at my house. The plan was to get him there about 7 so he had time to get set up before J.T. got there. And man it was a close call, but he did wind up getting nearly all set up before J.T. got there. When he walked in and saw that he was going to be playing, J.T. was very excited and kept saying throughout the night that he was “blown away” by him being there. We had a great time singing and listening to him play all the songs we used to watch him play back in the day. Hell, Dave, J.T. and I even got up there and sang REM’s “It’s The End Of The World As We Know It“. All in all, it was amazing and J.T. could not be any happier.

As for the rest of the night…………….well……..

Last year I started a love affair with Alfred Hitchcock. It started with Strangers On A Train and on it went after that with (in no particular order) The Wrong Man, North By Northwest, Rope, The Trouble With Harry, Shadow of a Doubt, Rear Window, Vertigo, Dial M for Murder, and The Birds. The one I had not seen all of yet was perhaps his best and most famous movie, Psycho. The American Film Institute lists Psycho as the 14th greatest movie of all time, however Vertigo is listed higher at number nine. Still Psycho is the one that EVERYBODY knows and the one that probably influenced countless horror flicks.

I had first seen about half of Psycho about 10 years ago and loved what I saw. I always wanted to see the rest of it and more of his movies but never did for various reasons. But, the other night I had nothing to do so I watched it. And boy, I can just about kick myself for not watching the whole thing sooner as it was everything that it was cracked up to be and more. Outside of the intense suspense, one thing that really stood out for me, like just about every Hitchcock movie, was the music. A big part of suspense is the music and the score. I think this really adds to making the viewer feel a sense of uneasiness when watching, well, any movie but especially Hitchcock.

And Anthony Perkins was amazing in the movie. I know after Psycho, all people remembered him for was his performance in spite of the fact that he did do many other movies and had many other roles. But, when you play a role that legendary, it is hard for people to imagine you as anything else.

Make no mistake, Psycho, is nothing if not legendary. Everybody knows the music and the infamous shower scene. Hell, even Janet Leigh’s scream is so well known and famous that it is a ring tone. Of course, when I got my new phone a couple of weeks ago I had to buy it and made it my ring tone for text messages. The other day I got woken up to that scream at seven in the morning when I got a text.

As great as Psycho is, it is still not my favorite Hitchcock movie. North by Northwest remains my favorite as that movie remains the most gripping and intense movie I have ever seen. I have only seen it once though, I really should go back and watch it a few more times to see how it holds up over the course of multiple viewings.

Being that I’m going to Jamaica next week, I’ve become quite a bit more interested in Bob Marley. After all, who doesn’t like Bob Marley? Seriously, I have been asking a lot of people this very question recently and everybody likes him. And I think it is more than just his music, although that certainly has a lot to do with his like-ability. It is also his whole carefree, peaceful, fun loving, and tolerant. I dunno…………maybe its the pot?

Over the weekend I bought a book about Marley and read part of his bio on Wikipedia, however I’m always skeptical of the stuff on Wikipedia. Still, I was surprised to find out that he was actually half white, but when I look at him closer, I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised as he does seem to have white facial features. But, I think his biracial background is a part of the reason why he was so popular and was able to relate so well with so many different people.

It is a shame though that he died so young, only 36 years old of cancer. Turns out he had skin cancer underneath one of his toenails which sounds all sorts of gross and painful. He decided not to have the toe amputated due to his Rastafarian beliefs and the cancer spread through his body and it eventually killed him. One has to wonder what more he could have become had he not died so young. Than again, many legends die early and as is the case with a lot of musicians, they tend to make their best music when they are young, so it is hard to say if his music would have gotten better. But, he very well could have had even more of an influence in the world had he not died young.

In, now less than nine days, I will be going to Jamaica for a week for my friend’s wedding. I can’t be anymore excited about the trip and the wedding. As I do when I take trips, I like to read up on the area I’m going to be visiting. Now this will be only the second time I’ve ever left the country; the last time was in February of 1999 when I went to Puerto Vallarta for a week.

But back to Jamaica. A couple of things you might not have known about Jamaica. For starters, contrary to popular belief, marijuana is not legal in Jamaica. However, that being said, as is my understanding it is readily available and not hard to find, however you need to be careful as there are undercover cops that try to catch people buying.

Jamaica is so anti gay that it has been called “the most homophobic place on earth”. I  have to say this comes as a not only a disappointment but also a pretty big surprise as well. I mean, I thought Bob Marley was all about peace and love and therefore many of the Jamaicans would be the same way. I guess they are, as long as you are straight. Fortunately for me, I’m pretty masculine and also will probably not leave the resort much, if at all.

While Jamaica is technically in the Eastern time zone, they do not participate in daylight savings time so even though we will be quite a bit east of Chicago, we will still be on the same time. This was quite the big debate I got into with some friends over the weekend, many of whom insisted that Jamaica was an hour ahead of us.

Jamaica had one of the highest murder rates in the world for many years, however the murder rate has been dropping the past several years. I’m not too worried though as we will be confined mainly to the resort.

Despite all of that, I’m still very exited to go.

So Friday was April 20, also known as Weed Day. Like a hell of a lot of other people, I believe it should be legal. But, I have documented this countless times here on this site, so I would like to take this post in a bit of a different direction. I was driving home from work on Friday playing every single song about pot that I could think of and trying to think of what is the best song about pot. I came up with quite a few, however I just learned a few minutes ago that the Black Crowes did a whole entire album dedicated to pot so I’m sure I’m leaving some songs out. And I only know a couple of Willie Nelson songs and none of them are about pot, which is funny since he is one of the world’s all time notorious tokers. So here are the songs I came up with:

• “Smoke Two Joints“- Sublime- A lot of people don’t realize that Subilme actually remade this song, the original artist escapes me right now and I’m too lazy to work. Unlike many other songs about pot, this one is not subtle in the least.
• “Mary Jane’s Last Dance“- Tom Petty- My friends and I are pretty certain this one is about pot. But, unlike them I still have my doubts. Great song though.
• “Because I Got High“-Afroman- Like “Smoke Two Joints” this one is pretty fucking obvious. At the end though, I don’t think it is a pro pot song.
• “Sweet Leaf“-Black Sabbath- I’ve never been a big Sabbath fan, hell this one is pretty good.
• “Rainy Day Woman #12 and #35- Bob Dylan- This one is probably the most misunderstood song about pot ever in that it is not actually about pot. But, the word stoned is mentioned so often in the song that people assume it is about pot.
• “Green Day“- Green Day- This is actually how Green Day got their name, it refers to a day when all you want to do is sit around and smoke pot.
• “Puff The Magic Dragon“-Peter, Paul, And Mary- I don’t know about you, but I can never hear this song and not think of the infamous scene in Meet The Parents with Robert DeNiro and Ben Stiller when they argue about the true meaning of this song. 

I’m quite certain I’m leaving songs out but you tell me what other songs belong on this list?

The 20 year anniversary of the Rodney King riots are coming up this month. And outside of the fact that it is crazy to think those riots were 20 years ago, it is interesting to think of how much things have changed yet remained the same when it comes to race relations.

First though, about the riots. I still remember them pretty vividly. I was in high school at the time and remember watching the coverage on t.v. and thinking “wow, this is fucked up.” I also remember having a conversation in the locker room in gym class with a flaming gay dude who had no idea about the riots as they were happening saying that “there was just no time for news.” Okay, I understand being busy, but this was a pretty damn big news story at the time and something that was fairly important.

With the recent case in Florida involving Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman, it has put a whole new spotlight on race relations, even if the situation is not about race, it had become about race. And I would be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned about a repeat of riots had Zimmerman not been charged with murder. Also, as is the case with most trials or crimes involving race, this one was divided along racial lines. Most blacks believed Zimmerman should be charged with murder, a majority of whites did not. It goes back to the O.J. Simpson trial and the Michael Jackson trial, both of which were split along racial lines.

Of course, since the King riots, we have made significant progress on race relations. 1992 was a presidential election year and it pitted two white guys against each other, Bill Clinton against George Bush. This year is an election year too, but it features an incumbent mixed man as president who is running for reelection. I don’t think any of us would have thought in 1992 that we were only 16 years away from electing our first non white president.

While things have changed drastically since 1992, I think there is still a lot of racial issues that need to be overcome. It will be interesting to look back 20 years from now in 2032 and see how far we have come.

Friday night as I left work I discovered that my phone was no longer working. In fact, I was having the same problem I had with it back in January when they replaced it with the exact same phone. So I went to Sprint to have them look at it. Turns out, the phone they gave me in January was just a used phone. Also that brand of phone has a propensity for the screen to stop working in the same manner it did to me twice now. So I decided to just purchase a brand new phone which turned out to be the iPhone 4S. Right now I’m having some issues getting used to using it as I do think it is “too much phone” for me but heck, the phone I used to have is obsolete and no longer being made.

Yesterday morning I had a volunteer event for my work at the UIC Pavilion in Chicago.This was my first chance to use the new navigation led by Siri. Well, it turns out when it comes to directions, she is pretty damn useless. Not only did she get me totally fucking lost on the way there, she got me even more lost on the way back. As for the event, it was a ton of fun.

There is some more shit that happened this weekend that has me extremely stressed at this point so I’m going to cut this post short for now.

Last night I went with a friend to see the musical Little Shop Of Horrors. Many of you don’t recall the 1986 movie directed by Frank Oz and starring Steve Martin, Rick Moranis and lesser roles for Bill Murray and John Candy. Still, none of you recall the 1960 version directed by Roger Corman staring a bunch of actors you have never heard of and Jack Nicholson if you can believe that. I remember seeing most of the ’86 version when I was a kid but never actually saw the whole thing.

I’ve never been a big fan of musicals, but saw my first musical just last year and loved it. So I jumped at the chance to see the musical version of Little Shop Of Horrors in Chicago. And what was even better was that the tickets were free because my friend is friends with one of the stars of the musical. So we went to see it at Chicago’s Stage 773. I loved the show and thought it was amazing. And what was even better was that most of the guys in the show were fucking hot as hell.

Watching it though, it made me wonder what could have been, at least for me. I’m a natural born entertainer; I love making people laugh and have absolutely no stage fright. Oh sure, I can’t sing very well. And I’m pretty sure I can’t act. But, what if I had gone in that direction when I was younger? My life could have been totally different than it has turned out. I don’t know if I would have gotten into that whole acting scene, but I think I would have liked the attention as I am quite the egomaniac. The whole thing made me yearn to entertain people.

But back to the musical. I had a great time and found parts of it downright hilarious. So if you get a chance to catch the movie, I would recommend it.

I have a friend who was taking part in a body building contest this weekend so she invited me to go. I had never been to anything like this ever before and in fact haven’t even watched it much on t.v. as I have absolutely no interest in this sort of thing at all. Quite honestly, most of the people who compete in these sort of things not only look disgusting, the shapes and deformities of their bodies makes them look kind of creepy. My friend though, she was in the part of the competition that was more focused on not building a big, muscular body as much as it was being trim and looking toned. So, instead of looking scary she looked good as did everybody else in her category. As for the other parts of the competition………..welllllllll………….

I don’t know if any of you have ever been to such a thing before but honestly, last night had to be one of the longest nights of my life. Not only was the ticket $25, but the damn thing lasts FOREFUCKINGEVER. Seriously. For those of you that find baseball boring and endless, this is only about a million and one times worse than baseball. The damn thing lasted well over four hours and we left before it ended so that means that it probably went for well over five hours.

And talk about boring, holy shit, honestly how many times can you watch somebody walk out on the stage, flex, and have a smile on their face that says “I’m flexing so hard that I just might shit myself right here on the stage.” Plus, their bodies have all sorts of weird shapes and colors. They have protruding muscles that I never knew existed. And yet, as boring as I found it, the placed seemed to have quite a few people who seemed to be fanatics about the whole thing, which I just didn’t get.

Now don’t get me wrong, I admire the discipline, tenacity, and the dedication that these people exhibit to get their bodies in the shape that they are in. And of course, one has to have a massive set of balls to go out on stage wearing nothing but their underwear in front of hundreds of people to be judged based on how they look. That can not be an easy thing to do, yet these people do it.

On the other hand, they also seem like extremely self centered, self indulgent, and possibly narcissistic individuals who scream out “oh, look at me, look at me”. One has to wonder what they are compensating for to live a life dedicated so much to their bodies and looks. Now don’t mistake me, I think it is great that they take care of themselves. And everybody can admire their dedication, shit we need more people to be more dedicated about taking care of themselves, but I think these people overdo it. I think working on your bodies like this is an addiction no different than anything else, like smoking, drugs, sex or food. Their addiction happens to be something that keeps them healthy, however they do look very unnatural in what their finished product is. And, who knows if any of them are doing any sort of performance enhancers that might harm them in the long run. Or in the short term.

So if you ever have a chance to go to something like this, be prepared to spend a whole heck of a long time being bored to death at people flexing.