December 19, 2012

• What’s In A Name Or AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

  Are you like me? Do you believe that boy bands are the absolute worst music of all time? I mean seriously, is there anything worse than listening to a group of mostly gay young guys professing their love for some random girl in the most sappy, bubble gum pop way possible? And yet, boy bands are always very popular. I guess they owe their popularity to their target audience of teenage girls and creepy older gay guys. Eventually the girls grow up and the guys die off but after a while another group of girls come of age and inevitably usher in the popularity of some other crappy boy band. And so it goes on and on for decades and decades. But do you often wonder where they come up with their names? Well lucky for you, I’ve taken the time to do the research and give you the 100% guaranteed to be true facts* as to how some of these bands got their names:

  • One Direction- They got their name because they make gay guys cocks go in one direction.
  • The Backstreet Boys- Well as it turns out, the boys in this  band are all REALLY into anal sex.
  • New Edition- A bunch of virgins decided that they wanted to get laid so they started a boy band and decided to name themselves the one thing they would all be when they bagged their first chicks: like a damn new, unused edition.
  • New Kids on The Block- See, when a gay guy just comes out of the closet, he is the “new kid on the block”.
  • NSYNC- They came up with their name because of their uncanny ability to all cum at the exact same time.
  • Take That- Turns out, they were referring to a money shot.
  • Boys II Men- These guys were so desperate to be famous that they would fuck everybody from boys to men to finally make it.
  • Boyzone- Wow this might be the gayest one yet, named for an area that is filled with all hot boys.

  *And by totally true I mean a total and complete load of utter bullshit that I totally made up. And I don’t mean some of it was made up. I mean the whole damn fucking thing. All of it. Every last word. It happens when I have absolutely jack shit to write about and have way too much damn time on my hands. Sorry. Perhaps I should have just stuck to jerkin off. Then again, I’m quite certain you didn’t believe any of this anyway.

   

  • 11:11 pm
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