April 15, 2013
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Nested!
Spring is always a great time of year, I mean provided we actually get to have a spring this year. But one of the more annoying parts of spring is that the birds seem to think they own the world and can fuck and shit anywhere they want. This year I’m not having a problem with the shitting. Instead though I am having a problem with the fucking. Or at least the byproduct of the fucking: the nesting and laying of the eggs.
In my backyard on the house right next to the backdoor I’ve got a pair of, well not floodlights, but outside lights that have a motion detector on that that cause them to turn on whenever there is motion in the backyard. Last week I noticed the lights never seemed to go off. The reason: you guessed it; some birds had decided to build a nest on top of the lights. This is a problem for many reasons, for one the lights never go off so I had to turn off the switch so that the light never goes on. I might be talking out of my ass here (heheheheh, I said ass hair!) but I think part of the reason why they chose the lights to build the nest is because of the heat that the lights give out. As I mentioned at the top, spring is not exactly rushing in; shit just last week our lows were in the 20s and even at the end of this week it is supposed to get down to freezing again. I guess the birds wouldn’t quite be used to freeze this late in the year so any sort of warmth helps.
Of course the bigger issue is that the nest is literally right next to the back door. In fact if I open the back door, there is nothing preventing the birds from quickly getting into the house. Fortunately there is a screen door as well but unfortunately, the large outdoor garbage bin is right next to the door along with the recycling bin which is used every night. And being that Hitchcock’s “The Birds” still creeps me out, I’m more than a little bit paranoid to open the damn backdoor for fear of a bird getting in the house. In fact, the other night I opened the door and thought I saw a bird start to fly in the house and quickly slammed the door and fell backward onto the floor. Gosh I’m such a freak at times.
I’ve been told that birds don’t nest for long and soon they will be on their way, but in the meantime if anybody has any ideas on how I can get rid of them without killing or disturbing them, I welcome your thoughts.
