September 25, 2004
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Man, I’m really starting to get depressed about the whole lack of job
thing. Its not bad being off work. Its actually sorta fun. But, the
fact that I can’t even get interviews right now is very very unnerving.
My fear is that I will be broke in a year. I know I will not get a job
that pays as much as AAA. I know its going to be a while before I get a
job. And even then, it won’t be what I want, because I think I might
have to settle for something I don’t want. To makes matters even worse,
the light in the bathroom has gone dead again. She is going to have to
come back out again to look at it, and I’m worried its gonna cost a lot
to fix. Also, I still have to replace my shingles, which is a lot of
money there. Man, I feel so overwhelmed right now. I’m so discouraged,
I’m not very motivated to look for a job, as it only means more
rejection. I keep telling myself “keep applying, you will get
something” but the more I tell myself that, the more disappointed I
become. To make matters even worse, I’m afraid to go out, because I
fear I will be spending money I don’t have. Tonight, Danel invited me
to go to the boat. Ahhhhh, the boat. I love it so and am usually up for
going. But, I had to turn her down. Also, she invited me to Dick’s Last
Resort tomorrow. Man, I would love to go, but that place is expensive.
So, I have to turn her down again. This is not helping. Going out and
having a good time is supposed to be a stress reliever, and now I can’t
do it. On the other hand, the Cubs are on a fucking roll!!!!
