September 26, 2004
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The plan today was to watch football at Scooty’s all day. I got out of
the shower and John said that Dave needed a ride, and he was jumping in
the shower now. So, I figured I would give him a few minutes, knowing
that he usually takes a LONG ass time in the shower. I went online for
about 10-15 minutes. I left a short while after that. Games start at
Noon, and i left my house at about 11:40. Got to Dave’s and he, of
course, had not even showered yet. Motherfucker. The only thing I
figured, was that he and Kelli had a quickie before I got there.
Anywho, we left about 12:20. We were at the corner of RT 59 and Caton
Farm rd. He told me to turn there, but I had other directions that
Scooty gave me to turn on Theodore. He was very insistant on me
turning, but I simply did not want to turn. Until John drove past us
and said “hey, shouldn’t you turn here?”. At that point, I was thinking
“well, its 2-1 that I turn, so I will.” We arrived at about 12:35.
Throughtout the course of the day, we kept making jokes about me and
the mailbox. I have to admit, I more than deserve it. Its all funny,
though.
We kept switching between the Bears game and the Cubs game
(those fuckers………..don’t get me started, I swear!). After a
while, we decided to order Giordano’s again. After about an hour, the
doorbell rang. So, we all sprung up and raced toward the door. I hit my
foot on something, and Scooty shoved Dave into the table. I grabbed the
pizza while Dave made out a check (you would think he would have it
made out already, seeing as he had an hour to do it, but whatever). The
driver was from India, and John, not even realzing it, for some reason,
while he was in the kitchen, blurted out, in his Apu voice “thank you,
come again.” Now, I don’t know if the delivery guy heard it, but he
still shouldn’t have said it. Still, it was funny. John said that he
normally just out of the blue, talks like Apu or Flanders, and I
believe it, becuase I am always hearing him.
We started watching the afternoon games,
but also talking about going to get ice cream. Dave is insisting that I
now owe him $15 because of the Jt bet (we made a bet on how long Jt
would be with his girlfriend, but things aren’t looking good for me, as
they broke up for real now), which made me think of the other bet we
have: a $1000 on who will live longer, me or Dave. The joke is on the
winner, as the loser will be dead and therefore unable to pay.
After a while, we went for ice cream. We
arrived and started to order. John and I were simple, we each got the
brownie bucket, which is ice cream (chocolate), a brownie, hot fudge,
whipped cream, a cherry and nuts. Dave was being really difficult about
what he wanted. Of course, he was also so drunk he stunk like a
brewery, so that didn’t help either. He was going to order some sorta
banana split deal. It was $6.25! $6.25 for a fucking banana split.
Shit, the way this guy eats, this will be the easiset $1000 I ever
made.
He wanted such special things done (4 scoups of ice cream, but he
wanted every other scoup chocolate and other vanilla. And he had some
weird way of wanting toppings on. He is so high maintence, and nuts. It
must be because he is left-handed). I told him that he was so
difficult, they should charge him a difficulty tax. While we were
ordering, the soup was ready for 2 girls that had already sat down. So,
I told the waitress girl that I would play waitress and bring it to
them. So, I did, and the 2 cheap-asses stiffed me on the tip! Anywho,
we were talking to the cashier girl, asking here were she was from and
just generally being goofy, as we are prone to do. We eventually got
our ice cream and decided to sit.
While we were eating, something happened that I can not go
into here. We left and we were waiting for Dave to get done smoking a
cigerette before driving off. I don’t understand why he stands outside
of the car to smoke, as he still hangs hand, the hand with the
cigerette, inside the car. Eventually, he finished and we were on our
way. He picked up my change thing and started throwing the quarters in
the back seat at John and Scooty. I swear to god, if Dave is not kept
constantly entertained, he becomes very disruptive, especially when he
is drunk, and he was drunk. I have some cell phone cord in my car for
some reason ( I have no idea whose it is, so if anybody wants to claim
it, please do so) that he was hanging out the window and pretending to
talk into. He also hung it from my rear view mirror, at which time I
started to drive on the opposite side of the street and told he I
wasn’t going to move until he removed the cord. This worked, as he
removed that thing so fast. Anywho, we got back to Scooty’s, watched
the rest of the game, and went home.
