February 24, 2005
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Well, I’ve gotten Down with the Sickness. I woke up this morning with a
fever of 102.1, so I called work and told them I wasn’t coming in. Next
I made a doctor appointment, even though I was convinced I have
broncitis.I arrived for the appointment at 10:30AM. I was actually going to be
seeing the nurse practiconer. I noticed on the wall that she was the
employee of the month. Thats fine and dandy and all, but having the NP
or doctor be employee of the month is a bit much, if you ask me. They
are the reason why people are there and already get all the accolades,
that maybe they should let somebody else shine.The thing that really bothers me about the NP (and I think I have
mentioned this before) is that she has a bit of a weight problem. She
has to be well over 300lbs, easily. How can you be in that postion and
have that much of a weight problem? How can you look your patients in
the eyes and tell them to take care of themselves and watch what they
eat and exercise and here you are, morbidly obese. It just doesn’t seem
right. That is why I would rather see the doctor as opposed to the NP,
but what can I do, she was the one available.Before she got in the room, I was with the RN who took my temp, blood
preassure and weighed me. The way I see it, she is the opening act for
the doctor or NP. She put on a good show and after a few minutes, left.
Next, the NP arrived in the room. She checked my ear, nose and throat.
She made me breathe in and out while she listened to my lungs. She told
me that I do not have broncitis, but instead, the flu, I guess a lot of
people have come down with it. She said she would write me a
perscription for pills and for cough syrup. I asked her if I could have
a shot so that I would get better sooner, and she left the room and
came back with Jose Canseco. I dropped my pants and he injected my ass
with all sorts of steroids and human growth hormones. Now, I’m still
sick, but my arms are huge and I think I might hit 50 home runs this
year…………..oh, and my balls have gone back inside of me and my
penis has shrunk to the size of a cocktail weenie.
