May 29, 2005

• Ahhhhhh, man, I’m exhausted for some reason. I woke up shortly after
  10. I exercised and mowed the lawn. I was waiting to see if Dave would
  call to go to the track, but he never called. It was ok. He told me all
  along that he didn’t think he was going to be able to go anyway. I also
  had back-up plans, Scooty was planning a bbq at his house. He said to
  be there anytime after 2 in the PM. John and I arrived about 2:15.
  Scooty had TIVOed a clip from the Jeff Foxworthy roast that had a guy
  doing a killer Bush impression. Scooty had been telling me about this
  damn thing for months, and finally, I had a chance to watch it. I have
  to say, though, that it was well worth the wait. The guy that did it
  was amazing. He was dead on. It was scary. And funny.

  We started to play beanbags a while later. Scooty’s girlfriend’s kids
  were very interested in playing. It sucked, because, they kept wanting
  to play, and they were also annoying, what with they kept going after
  the bags each time one was thrown. Anywho, eventually, we played a game
  in which is was John and I against Scooty and Chris. I have to say, I
  really stunk up the place. I was awful. Couldn’t hit shit. Of course,
  the wind was blowing, which did not help things at all. Needless to
  say, we lost. We played a little while later, this time I got stuck
  with a 10 year old on my team. Supriseingly, he actually did very good
  and carried my lame ass, as once again, I was awful. We wound up
  winning 2 in a row before we played Mark, who spanked the shit out of
  us.

  After playing for a while, we had dinner. The food was…………eh,
  it was food. It was good, but nothing too exciting. After eating, we
  headed over the the park area to play volleyball. I thought i was bad
  at beanbags, but vollyball I was downright pathetic. Of course, in all
  honesty, we all were pretty damn bad. And to make matters even worse,
  the sand was rough. There were like little pebbles in the sand, it was
  awful and hard on the feet. I actually had to play with my socks on.
  The only good thing, was that there was a cute dude playing basketball.
  Shit, I would have loved to have played him one on one, if you know
  what I mean.

  After 3 games of really bad volleyball, we left. We came home and made
  smores…………hot damn, they were good. After the kids went to bed,
  we played Uno and a card game called 99. Again, I was bad at both. I
  guess it just wasn’t my day, at least, in a competitive sense.

  While we were playing, though, I thought about something. What if songs
  had to be sung with proper English and correct grammer. For example,
  Beck’s “Where its at?” would have to become “Where it is located at?”
  And “I can’t get no, satisfaction” would be “I can not get any,
  satisfaction.” Also, words like aint wouldn’t be able to be used. So,
  “Aint nothing but a G thing” would be “It is not anything but a G
  thing.” And in “Louie, Louie” they would say “Louie, Louie, we have got
  to be going now.” Or “Just a hunk of burning love”. And “Hey ya” would
  become “Hey there, you!” I sometimes like to change up some songs and
  make them sound really really lame. For example, “Hot in here” by
  Nelly. I try to sound like a lame ass white guy and say something like
  “Its getting rather warm in here, so remove all articles of clothing.”
  See, just think about how lame that sounds. I don’t know if its even
  funny, but its, at the very least, mildly amusing.

  • 1:39 am
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