August 3, 2005

• http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050803/ap_on_re_us/gay_marriage_cherokees

  I just wish the rest of the country had judges that thought this way.
  Honestly, how does 2 people of the same sex  getting married harm
  anybody else? The fact is, it doesn't. You all know how I feel about
  this, so I don't feel the need to say anything else about it, as I have
  beaten it to death.

  I was watching a fly today, just sitting there, rubbing his legs
  together, repeatly (yes, I have no life, so much to the point that I
  sit and watch flies.....I was watching the Cubs game at the
  time).  Why just keeping rubbing the legs together? Almost like he
  has obsessive compulsive disorder. What the hell? This of coures, begs
  the question, do animals suffer from the same disorders that humans do?
  I mean, I know people in Hollywood take their pets to shrinks. But,
  what about stuff like claustrophobia? Or fear of heights? Could you
  even imagine how neurotic a bird would be if it had a fear of heights?
  They say fears such as those are irrational and animals do not have
  rational thought, but could, say, a flamingo be afraid of spiders?
  Also, can animals get drunk? What if somehow they ingested drugs? I
  mean, they would have to unintentionally ingest drugs, you know, sorta
  like how Rafael Palmiero unknowingly took steroids (see, this is why I
  don't believe him or any any baseball player that says they didn't
  knowingly do steriods, after all, that would mean that they have about
  as much brains as a racoon, who ingests shit without stopping to look
  at what is being put into their bodys). I'm sure some of you people
  have gotten pets drunk or blown your doobie's into the face of your
  bird. This is where we have reader participation. After all this is
  free entertainment for you, the lest you can do is give me some sorta
  of useful info. Ok, so animals being intoxicated can't ever be useful,
  but participation is the key!

  As for the aforementioned Rafael Palmeiro, he is officially a
  laughingstock..........if only this top 10 list were actually funny.

  Top Ten Rafael Palmeiro Excuses

  10. "Pete Rose bet me I wouldn't do it"

  9. There wasn't a Starbucks around and I needed a quick pick-me up"

  8. "I enjoy the fresh minty flavor"

  7. "Uhh, I lost it in the sun?"

  6. "Somebody must've slipped something into my Viagra"

  5. "Steroids illegal?! Since when?"

  4. "Heard steroids give your mustache a glossy coat"

  3. "Memory loss from steroid use made me forget I was on steroids"

  2. " 'Roids rule, dude!"

  1. "How am I supposed to keep track of every single thing I stick up my ass?"

  • 10:43 pm
  • 1 Comment