November 21, 2005
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BIG NEWS PEOPLE!!! Oprah is going to be on Letterman!!!! Mark your calendars, its next Thursday, Dec 1!!!!
I showed up to work naked again today. They said if it happens again,
they are going to have to take disciplinary action. I think that means
they are going to buy me clothes.I haven't done one of this survey things in a while, so you people are
going to put up with my lame answers...........unless of course, you
choose not to read this, which I must say, you should probably skip it.1. What time did you get up this
morning? Well, I got up about 6:45ish, but my penis had already been up
for a good 45 minutes..........stupid dreams about Mickey Rooney!!!
2. Diamonds or pearls? I have always been a fan of pearl necklaces
3. What was the last film you saw at
the cinema? The cinema............what the hell is this, Europe in the 1950s?
4. What's your favorite TV shows? You
guys would never guess this, but it is a show about a cartoon
family.........shit, whats it called again????? The Desperate Simpsons
or something like that.
5. What did you have for breakfast this
morning? The new Peanut Butter Cookie Crisp. Very disappointing.
It tries very hard to be like Peanut Butter Crunch, but instead, well,
its sorta like..........suck. It sucks.
6. What's your favorite cuisine? Cooked food.
7. What food do you dislike? Not many. Coconut and I have always been pretty big enemies.
8. What is your favorite chip flavor? Poker
9. What's your favorite CD at the moment? American Idiot, Green Day. Part of it is about George W Bush.
10. What kind of car do you drive? Sorry, but I don't pay attention to detail, so lets just say its a Cadillac. !
11. Favorite sandwich? I really don't know, but you can never go wrong with a nice big sausage between 2 fat buns, right?
12. What characteristics do you despise? Lying
13. Favorite item of clothing? Sorry, I ain't a chick and I'm not gay enough to care about clothes
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would it be? Oh Vegas, why do you call me so much
15. What color is your bathroom? Color? who the fuck cares about color...........I'm just trying to avoid the smell
16. Favorite brand of clothing? Isn't that pretty much the same as number 13
17. Where would you retire to? Same place, but with all my fucked-up, fun and crazy ass friends.
18. Favorite time of the day? Is 5:57PM taken?
19. What was your most memorable birthday? Now, if it was memorable, it wouldn't be much fun than, would it?
21.
Favorite sport to watch? Ohhhhh, you gotta love that "Dancing with the
Stars" right? Come on people, you know what my fav sport is
22. Who do you least expect to send this back? I don't know, I don't have any idea who I'm going to send this to
23. Person you expect to send it back first: Uh, Jt.................HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAA!!!!!!!!!
24.
What kind of detergent do you use? I have always been a big fan of
Clorox on the rocks, man, that shit will knock you right the fuck out!
25. Were you named after anyone? I try to pretend I wasn't named after my mother's father
26.
Do you wish on stars? like which stars? Like, Oprah yes, but why would
anybody wish on a "star" like Tony Danza, he is a talentless bum
27.
When did you last cry? This morning why I accidentally heard 3/4 of a
second of that really lame Scott Stapp song. Man, talk about a suckfest
28. Do you like your handwriting? I don't know, I can never read what I wrote.
29.
If you were another person, would YOU be friends with yourself? Well,
sometimes, I'm a dick, othertimes, I'm goofy, but I am always reliably
entertaining, so you are always guaranteed something interesting and
that is really what life is all about, right
30. Are you a daredevil? Eh, if the dare doesn't involve extreme pain or instant death, sure
31. Do looks matter? hells motherfucking yeah...........unless somebody is looking at me, in which case, no.
32.
How do you release anger? Sometimes, I pick cars out at random in
parking lots and walk across the hood Usually, it works, but except for
that cop car that was moving...........long story short, I'm still
working the old folks home for that one
33. Where is your second home? In the can
34.
What were your favorite toys as a child? Mark's face, I spent so much
time punching it that it really became my happy place. In fact,
sometimes, nowadays, I punch him square in the eye just to go back to
my childhood..........it makes me cry
35. What class in High
School was totally useless? Biology. I didn't need to dissect a
frog and I probably could have figured out.........come to think of it,
the whole damn class was pointless
36. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Uhhhhhh....................no?
37.
Do you think that you are strong? Oh yeah. In fact, this one time, I
held a whole gallon of milk over my head for a solid 8 count!!!
38. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? chocolate all the way. Anybody who thinks any differently should be committed.
39. What are your favorite colors? Blue, unless I've got blue balls.
40. Who do you miss the most?
Haaaa.........uh, Bill Clinton, back then the only war we had to focus
on was the one between he and his wife
41. What color pants are you wearing? who said I was wearing pants?
42. What are you listening to right now? The sound of my fingers typing!44. If you were a CRAYON what color
would you be? I wouldn't want to be a crayon, because I used to
eat crayons and life is never good when you are being digested by the
stomach of an 8 year old. Or in my case, a 26 year old.
45. Last person you talked to on the phone? Danel. Fuck, why is every conversation with her 75 minutes long?
46. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex: Oh, tits..........no thanks, I'll pass
47. Favorite Drink? I'm all about the Pepsi
48. Do you wear contacts? With my glasses.............no
49. Favorite Day(s) of the Year? Opening day........I still think the Cubs have a chance
50. Hugs or Kisses? what about sucky sucky? thats good too
51.
What Is Your Favorite Dessert? One word: Eli's Chocolate Chip
Cheesecake, pound for pound, the best dessert on the planet.
52. What Book(s) Are You Reading? only 3 different books
53.
What Did You Watch Last night on TV? The Bulls game and the
Simpsons, along with a few other things. I was pretty worn out and
hungover
