December 24, 2005

• First of all, I want to say that there is tragedy at the holidays, I
  have lost a dear loved one. Dashboard Homer has died. I could see it
  coming, last week, he was working off and on, earlier this week, his
  voice was getting all weird, and finally, he has passed on to the great
  dashboard in the sky. The good news, though, is that unlike actual
  people, I can just go to the store and get a new one for only $7.99.

  Yesterday at work, we had a sweets day. I, of course, brought Oreos,
  because, whenever........well, whenever food of any kind is involved,
  Oreos should be involved too. Anywho, this one lady made these VERY
  good brownie mint cookies. Also, there were these other chocolate chip
  brownie type bars, they kicked so much ass it was like.......well, it
  was like something that kicked ass. I had so much sugar and crap, that
  after a while, I had a tummy ache. It was suggested to have peppermint
  tea, which worked like a frickin' charm.

  By the way, I wore my Christmas Homer shirt, which my boss said was
  not appropriate to wear at work. I have to say, she might of had a
  point. Here is a partial pic of it

  

  I should mention that although it looks like he is naked, he is in face
  wearing a pair of briefs. I told my boss that because I was unsure if
  it was ok to wear it, so I saved it for the Friday before Christmas,
  the least professional day of the year.

  After work, I had a couple of hours to kill, so I headed to Toys R' Us
  to try to recover my losses from the Great Gift Card Incident of 2005.
  I waited in like for about 10 minutes to be told that since I bought it
  from the Joliet Toys R' Us, I should go there to have them void it out.
  Works for me. This never happened, though. By the time I got home, I
  had a message from Keith stating that they had found my gift card at
  their house. I guess I accidentally brought it to there house when Santa
  got dressed there last week. What a load off my chest, I really did not
  want to go back to the Joliet store for fear of getting the worker that
  sold it to me in trouble.

  After Toys R' Us, I headed to the VERY packed mall. Fucking people. I
  went straight to the food court and ate from the Great Steak and Potato
  place..........at least, my mind thinks that is the name of the place.
  They have such good food. I then walked around the mall and visited
  with Rene at the glass gallery for about 15 seconds, as they were
  EXTREMELY busy. I walked around the mall and left, heading for Scott's
  with plenty of extra time. I even stopped at Farm and Fleet for the
  first time ever. For some reason, I always thought they sold farm
  equipment, but it turns out, its just sorta like a redneck version of
  Meijer.

  I was the first one at Scott's house, arriving at 7:45ish. At first we
  were worried that we would have a small game, but we eventually wound
  up with a decent 8 person game. My old AAA rival Mike (who I have never
  gotten along with, he was the one that bitched about my house
  constantly when we played at my house back in June, you can read about
  this in the June 12, 2005 post) arrived and instantly started talking
  about the vasectomy he had 2 weeks ago. We had to hear about this thing
  for the whole night. Dude, nobody gives a shit about your plumbing. So
  you got your power cut off, so what. You aren't the first person to be
  disconnected, get over it. As for the game itself, I had a better
  showing then I have recently,
  finishing 4th and 5th. I left about midnight and got home at 1245ish.

  I had to be at Christmas Eve breakfast at Cracker Barrel between 8:30AM
  and 9AM, but Randy was kind enough to get there at 7:45 to reserve a
  table for 22. I arrived about 8:45 and saw Randy on the phone trying to
  reach everybody. He was told by the asshole staff at Cracker Barrel
  that if people didn't start arriving soon, they would give our tables
  away. What the fuck? I called them 3 weeks ago and they told us that if
  we needed a huge table, we should get there an hour early. Randy even
  stopped there earlier this week and they told him the same thing. Now,
  they want to take the tables from us. We never had this problem at Bob
  Evans (we used to go to Bob Evans for Christmas Eve breakfast, but they
  closed down, making all of us sad) and they are about the same
  size...........in fact, they might even be smaller. Cracker Barrel has
  good food, but the staff sucks. When I had called a few weeks earlier,
  the manager dude was sorta rude to me. This morning I told Randy that
  if they took our tables from us, I would never eat there again, and I
  was serious about it. We told our friends 9AM. They are late every year
  (in fact, they are late to everything we ever do) but it was never a
  problem in the past. When you are talking about breakfast for 22
  people, that amounts to a pretty large bill. If you can not or are too
  stupid not to accommodate us, than fuck you, we will take our business
  elsewhere. This made for a tense few minutes. I was partially
  embarrassed about this, because to an extent, the restaurant had a
  point. I told Randy that if we didn't have people sitting at the second
  table (we had 2 large tables) soon, I would give up that other table.
  Fortunately, they all started to show up, pretty much all at once.

  I sat next to Nicole during breakfast. We colored and played a
  crossword puzzle while waiting for breakfast. While waiting, Chris' son
  Ben spilled his orange juice. One of the bitchy waitresses said to me
  with a rude tone "if you will move, I can clean that up before the
  floor gets sticky. Our main waitress, though, was very nice.

  Dave got me the forth season of Seinfeld on dvd and Kelli got me a
  Homer operation game. I'm assuming it kicks ass, but won't be able to
  confirm ass kicking status until I open it, which should be after this
  post. I don't know if you people have ever been to cracker barrel, but
  they have a checker board there. Nicole and I played a game of Checkers
  after breakfast, which I let her win It has been years since I played
  and sorta forgot how to play.

  For some reason, my nose was sorta runny today, even though I don't
  think I have a cold. I was head toward the bathroom behind a little boy
  of about 7, who thought I was following him. He kept smiling and
  turning around and when we got into the bathroom he said "are you
  following me?" I said no and got some TP to wipe my nose. The little
  boy was looking to get into one of the stahls and as I was wiping, I
  heard him say "oh, this door is closed, its ok, I will just climb
  underneath the door." I quickly told him "uh, no, somebody is in there"
  but it was almost too late, he was already on the floor. To make
  matters even funnier, I think it might have been Mark in the stahl!!!

  That's all for now people. Must check out Operation Homer.

  • 2:21 pm
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