February 8, 2006

• When one is on a roll, one waits for the sign that the roll is now
  over. Today, as my little car headed west down 119th street, a Will
  County Sheriff happened to notice that my car was traveling 53 miles an
  hour in a zone which 35 miles an hour is what the man would like you to
  travel. I saw him parked off to the side and looked at my speedometer.
  He had his rollers on before I even got to him. I knew I was caught and
  as I went by him, he made a circle like an umpire does after a homerun.
  He started to move and I pulled over right where I was going to turn
  onto Rt 59. I pulled over and he walked right up. I felt like a batter
  that knew that he had just struck out looking. He walked right up and
  said "You were doing 53 and its 35 through there. There were signs, but
  they are really getting on me, I need to give out more tickets. License
  please." I handed it right to him and he walked away. Its so
  humiliating waiting there as cars pass you buy, looking at you. Keep in
  mind not only was this my first ticket, but also the first time I had
  been pulled over. Although it seemed to take an eternity, he came back
  only about 5 minutes later and told me to sign something and if I
  signed clearly, he wouldn't need my license. It was at this moment that
  things got just a little bit more embarrassing: Danel drove by,
  pointing and laughing. I can't blame her, I would have done the same
  thing. To be honest, I found the whole thing quite funny. In fact, as I
  drove off, I sat there, chuckling at the whole week I have had. So what
  if its $75, that's not so bad. I'm still up for the week, at least with
  all the money I have made.

  I guess there is some new "Sex Soda" that they have come out with. Anywho, Letterman did a pretty funny Top 10 list about it:

  Top Ten Slogans For The New Sex Soda

  10. "Have a glass for your fine ass"

  9. "Soft drink? I don't think so..."

  8. "Goes down nice and easy...just like you"

  7. "Get fizzy, get bizzy"

  6. "Makes more than your tastebuds tingle"

  5. "Available in 'Classic' or 'Brokeback'"

  4. "Why not put a kitty in your pants?"

  3. "Have a coke and a smile, a smoke and a long satisfying nap"

  2. "It's like a carbonated lapdance"

  1. "Get it in the can"

  • 11:12 pm
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