March 1, 2006

• Ok, as we all have learned sometimes, I’m just socially retarded.
  Yesterday at work I saw a lady that used to work in my department but
  transferred to another department. Anywho, I had a dream about her the
  other night and when I saw her yesterday, I instantly said “Hey, I had
  a dream about you last night.” Now, I know what you are thinking,
  because honestly, this is what everything thinks when somebody says
  they had a dream about somebody. I quickly told her it wasn’t what she
  thought, but she still asked. At the time, I was standing next to
  another co worker and said to him “This is a mistake, I shouldn’t tell
  her this, but I will tell her.” I then told her that in the dream, she
  was really large………like really fat. As soon as I told her this,
  her jaw dropped and she walked away and said that she was “going to get
  me.” See, I fucked up 2 ways. One, I shouldn’t have told her that I had
  a dream, because as soon as I said that, it was assumed that the dream
  is sexual. Next, when she confronted me about it, I should have made
  something up and said something flattering like “I had a dream you were
  president of the company.” But, no, I had to be honest, and honestly,
  nobody wants to hear that they are fat.

  You all want to see something that is positively frightening? Take a look at this picture:

  

  Yeah, I aint down with that. That’s Barry Bonds dressed as Paula Abdul
  for a “Giant Idol” contest the San Francisco Giants did yesterday. Let
  us never speak of it again.

  I talked to a girl I used to work with at AAA today for about an hour.
  Good times, good times, turns out we are going to hang out sometime.
  Should be fun. It was cool to talk about all the people we used to work
  with at AAA. Wait, that sounds bad “talk about all the people” makes it
  seem like we were talking bad about them. Ok, so we were talking bad
  about them, but its only because we couldn’t stand these people. And if
  you can’t safely make fun of old co-workers, than you really have
  nothing left.

  • 10:34 pm
  • 3 Comments