March 5, 2006

• Last night I played cards at Scott's house. For the first time in the
  history of our card games, Paul was the first person there. He brought
  his dog, a 14 year old Australian Shepard. It was obvious early on that
  this dog has seen better days. Not only is his sight not very good, but
  his hearing is going too. And, I have never seen such a lethargic dog.
  He was laying on the floor next to Paul and I pulled up a chair to sit
  next to him so that we could start playing and I assumed the dog would
  move. The damn thing didn't move, even when I slightly bumped him. Paul
  said that we pretty much had to move the dog, as the dog really doesn't
  like to move. Geez, I'm thinking this dog doesn't have many years left.

  As for the game itself, we had 7 people for the first game with a $20
  buy-in. We also had a $3 buy in for a $21 pot for whoever had the
  highest called hand of the night. The 2nd hand, Sean got 4 fives, which
  everybody thought would hold up, including Sean who was convinced he
  had it. An hour later, I was dealt pocket Jacks. Here comes the flop
  and it was 2 more Jacks. I could barely contain myself. It was only me
  and this guy Pat left and all I knew is that I wasn't going to bet
  shit. Pat, thinking he had something, not only bet, but bet big. As
  soon as the betting was done, I threw my cards up and said "Now give me
  my $21, bitch!" Sean's jaw dropped, and I wound up having high hand for
  the night. I wound up taking 4th place in that game, which didn't
  amount to any money. The second game, however, was a little different.
  I held my own to start but soon started to win. A lot. Next thing I
  knew, I was chip leader, but still had a long way to go. Richard was
  very close to being done several times, but he hung in there and after
  a while, was chip leader. I was still doing ok when it finally came
  down to just me and Richard, who had a stack of white chips (whites are
  worth the most) that looked like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Clearly, I
  was way behind. Everybody kept saying Richard had me and he would win.
  I kept telling myself that I could come back. The bad part was that he
  kept doubling the blind and I kept folding. I told myself that was no
  way for me to win and that he couldn't have something every time. So, I
  finally grew a set of balls and started to go after him, calling him on
  several hands in which he had nothing. I chipped away and we were just
  about even. Then, I would lose some and be behind. This went on for a
  while, until finally, things shifted. I could see he was nervous (then
  again, I was too, but was trying not to let it show) as he has never
  won a game. I kept the pressure on him and kept staring him down when
  he was trying to make a decision. Finally, he was short stacked
  (meaning, I had more chips) and he went all in. I matched him and wound
  up beating him with a simple pair of 6's. Game over, I win!!!!

  Since we got done fairly early, about midnight, Scott, Richard and I
  went to the casino. Long, boring story short, I wound up losing about
  $60, but still had a lot left over from my winnings earlier in the
  night.

  I'm convinced Scott is a closet homo. Even though he is married, he
  shows a lot of the signs of a closet gay guy. He is extremely
  homophobic, a staunch Republican, married to a very nice lady, who, to
  be honest, is not much of a looker, and yet, can't seem to stop talking
  about cocks. His nickname for Richard is Big Dick. He keeps making
  jokes about Brokeback Mountain. In fact, the room was all quiet and out
  of the blue, he just says "so be honest, has anybody seen Brokeback
  Mountain." I suspect that he thinks I'm gay because he is always making
  strange comments to me, like last night he asked me how I could be a
  democrat, as only blacks and gays are democrats. On the way home from
  the casino he was talking about all of these porns he watches online
  and was telling us about a camera crew that goes around and gets guys
  to be blindfolded and get blow jobs from hot chicks. In the middle of
  the blow job, they replace the chick with a guy. Scott said he has not
  seen this porn, but honestly, how else would he know about it? He also
  mentioned that one day when his wife is out of town, I should come by
  and he and I should get some hookers. Ok, so I think he might have been
  kidding when he said that, but why would he say that to me and not
  Richard, who was in the car with us? One must wonder, even though I
  have NO attraction to Scott at all.

  The Bulls played the Cavs tonight, and I have to say, I now know what
  it was like for all those other teams all those years when the Bulls
  had Jordan. I love Lebron, he is fun to watch and a great player, but
  man, the media really kisses his ass. A lot. They would not stop
  praising him, constantly talking about how great he is. Constantly.
  Lebron this, Lebron that. "Oh, he is just so strong." And then, Tyson
  Chandler, who is older by the way, gets a shot blocked and they say
  "well, he is so young and just not very strong yet." Ok, does this make
  any sense? And then there was Greg Anthony's crazy statement
  "Lebron  is the best athlete to ever play the game." Enough
  already. Sure, he is a great athlete and when its all said and done,
  might be the best player ever when his career is over, but this is only
  his 3rd year! That being said, holy fuck, he is good.

  • 10:30 pm
  • 6 Comments