April 12, 2006

  • Fuck me and my piss ass loyalty to my current place of employment. I
    like my job. Its a great company, they are very good to me. But, Mason
    had tickets to the game tomorrow (I don't even need to say what game,
    you should know) and I turned him down because I don't want to call in
    to work. See, I have perfect attendance for the year right now, and if
    I make it the whole year, I get a $100 bonus. Fuckity fuck fuck. I'm
    kicking myself right now. I asked John if he wanted to go and he said
    he couldn't go. Then, I called up Mark and the conversation went
    something like this:
    Me: "Hey, what's up. Mason has some, you in for tomorrow?"
    Mark: "Oh man........I can't. Too bad it wasn't this nice last week when we went."
    See, I didn't even need to say it, just had to ask him if he was in. He
    knew exactly what I meant. And its not a twin thing either. Its a Cub
    fan thing.

    So, tonight was the wake (read the post from the other day) of my
    aunt's sister. Turns out, it was the same funeral home that Uncle
    Freddie's was in.........you know, the one in which I had a run-in with
    my mother's brother. Walking into this place brought back a lot of
    goofy memories. In fact, I even reminisced about it with some of the
    relatives. I was sitting there talking to my cousin's 11 year old son
    when I felt the presence of evil enter: my mother's evil to the fucking
    core sister and her daughter and son in law. I'm not just saying this
    because we are enemies, but shit, her daughter looks like complete and
    utter hell. She has tanned WAAAAAY too much over the years. And, her
    hair is a bleach blond, which might be ok when you are 22, but looks
    kinda goofy when you are 55 and have sun blotches from 30 years of
    tanning beds. As for her husband...........he looks and reminds me of
    Tony Soprano.

    The funeral home was actually pretty cool. They had a bunch of campaign
    buttons from former presidential campaigns. Pretty cool stuff and that
    was just in the bathroom. In the other area (not where the body was,
    but you know the other room that wasn't the kitchen) had a bunch of
    pretty interesting artifacts, including a VERY TINY
    lock of George Washington's hair and of Abe Lincoln's hair. For some
    reason, they also had a lock of Jefferson Davis's hair, which didn't
    seem to make sense since not only was he the president of the evil
    confederacy but we were also a northern state.

    As for the wake itself, it was pretty uneventful. Granted, it was not a
    wake for one of my mom's relatives, so therefore things were calm and
    sane. I have to say though, it was pretty boring. Maybe we need the
    drama to spice things up and keep things interesting.