April 29, 2006

• Today we went to the Cubs game. It was me, John, and some guy from his
  work who was kind enough to drive. We were to meet Mason at the Harry
  Carey statue at 12:45 in the PM. We left our house about 10:50 and the
  drive was fairly quick, arriving in the area, oh, about 11:35ish. The
  place we normally park at is no longer there and so therefore, we found
  another place to park on Irving Park and Seminary, and it was only $10.
  We walked what was about 2 blocks to the park, where we walked along
  the outfield wall behind the bleachers. Once again, we checked out the
  hole in the right field wall which they have put a thin green screen
  over the fence, but you could still see in. As it turns out, once you
  go into the park, you can not go back out, so John and his work friend
  went in and I waited outside for Mason. This gave me some time to
  explore the surrounding neighborhood. I mostly went inside stores, one
  of which was selling an Andre Dawson jersey I should have bought,
  another had an authentic Cubs home jersey with no name on the back of
  it, just the kind I want. And at a the low price of only $69, I
  DEFINITELY should have bought it, but didn't, mainly because I didn't
  want to carry it around all day long. Fucking dumbass me!

  One of the cool things about going to Cubs games is that there are a
  ton of hot guys, and sometimes, they have a problem with wearing a lot
  of clothing. Today wasn't warm enough for many of them to be shirtless,
  but there still was a good amount that were wearing shorts to expose
  their hot legs. Ohhhhhhh baby!!!

  Finally, about 12:30, Mason called, he was already at the Harry statue.
  I headed over to the area and looked around for him, but could not find
  him. Finally, I was hit in the chest with a peanut and it was him. We
  quickly headed inside and scratched off our scratch cards for a chance
  to win a replica 1932 New York Yankees Babe Ruth jersey. I didn't win
  on the scratch off, and like a dumbass I threw my ticket away, even
  though they had several 2nd chance drawings throughout the game. Fuck
  me.

  We grabbed some of those good ass grilled hot dogs with grilled onions
  that they sell and headed to our seats. The seats were pretty far down
  the left field line and underneath the upper deck, so we were in the
  shade (although, the last couple of innings, the sun did manage to peek
  through a hole and warm us). The seats were still pretty good, but you
  know me, I don't think there is a bad seat in the house. It wasn't
  nearly as cold as it was when Mark and I went 3 weeks ago, but if it
  were about 10-15 degrees warmer, it would have been perfect. As it
  stood, I had to keep my jacket on the whole day, but I was not
  constantly shivering like I was last time. The Cubs got off to a quick
  start scoring 2 runs in the 2nd inning.

  We were seated in front of a family that had a toddler that couldn't be
  any older than 16 months. He was adorable and kept hitting me on the
  back. So, I turned around and punched him square in the face. That will
  teach him to fuck with me during a Cubs game!

  Please disregard those last couple of sentences. I didn't hit him in
  the face. It was more the stomach. Ok, fine, have it your
  way...........the truth is that I just turned around and smiled at him
  and joked around with who I presumed to be his parents.

  Things were rolling along great until the 8th inning, which is when it
  happened. The bombings. John's work buddy (Brian........why didn't I
  just say his name 3 paragraphs ago) was sitting on the aisle, followed
  by John, myself and Don. I looked over and saw him cleaning something
  from his pants. Turns out, a couple of pigeons were perched on a wire
  above us and had unloaded on this dudes pants! Now I was paranoid that
  it would happen to me, which made it tough to pay attention to the
  game. About 10 minutes later, I see Don cleaning his pants, and the guy
  in front of John was cleaning his jacket the kid directly in front of
  me was cleaning bird shit out of his fucking hair! Although I didn't
  actually see it, Don and Brian both said that one bird dropping managed
  to hit 3 fucking people, like it was some kinda magic terd. Unlike the
  Kennedy assassination, there was no Zapruter tape to catch any of this.
  At this point, clearly we were under attack. I just found it amazing
  that the shit skipped over John and myself. I wanted to try and pelt
  the damn pigeons with peanuts to get them to move, but I think they
  were too high up for me to hit them. For the last inning and a half, I
  could not pay attention to the game as much and instead spent a lot of
  time looking up at this damn pigeons that refused to move.

  Finally, the Cubs won and we headed home. The drive was not as bad as I
  thought it would be, it "only" took about 90 minutes, which seems like
  a long time, but this was Lake Shore Drive and I55 on a Friday during
  rush hour. All and all, really that long.

  Tonight I decided to rent a movie. I wanted to see Syriana, but I guess
  its not on dvd yet. John wanted to watch  King Kong. While I was
  at the video store, some intolerant prick saw the dvd for Brokeback
  Mountain and waved his hand at it and said something like "ahhhhh,
  Gayback Mountain!" He said this right in front of his kid, who couldn't
  be any older then 7. So, naturally, I picked up the dvd and looked at
  it, but I don't think he saw me do it, as he just kept walking past it.
  Look, asshole, you don't have to like the fucking movie or even approve
  of it, but there is no need to do shit like that, if you don't want to
  watch it, don't watch it. I didn't do that shit when Showgirls came out
  on dvd.

  I settled on King Kong. Scooty and Kris came over and we watched the 3
  hour movie. I have to say, I was impressed, it was pretty good, but the
  mere love fest between the chick and King Kong was a bit goofy. He is
  an animal for shit's sake, he can't develop feelings. That being said,
  we could have really used him to take care of those pigeons at the game
  today.

  • 2:52 am
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