May 22, 2006

• Just a brief synopsis of my weekend. Friday……shit, what did I do
  Friday? That’s right, I went to see the DaVinci Code. Saturday
  morning/early afternoon, I went to Scooty’s to watch the Cubs get
  whipped by the Sox. We also played beanbags, which I had a much easier
  time with than the Cubs. Somehow, Mark and I wound up on the same team,
  need I say anymore? The first few games, we played Dave and Jt, and
  Dave, who has a hard time with losing sometimes, blamed Jt after losing
  one game, even though Jt did way better than Dave. I found myself
  arguing with Dave that Jt had actually done better than him. In fact,
  Jt, Mark and I all said Dave sucked ass. After Scooty’s, I went to
  Scott’s to play cards. I did pretty good, I wound up winning the
  mystery pot and also took 3rd, so my net gain was $1 at the end of the
  night. After that, I went to the Johnson’s house and did what we
  usually do there…………get drunk and bullshit in their basement.
  Ok, so I didn’t actually drink, but you get the idea. Sunday, I didn’t
  do a damn thing, except watch the Cubs actually win a game.

  Let me tell all you people the 2 greatest words in sports: Game Fucking
  Seven, 2 words that are so great, that you need to add the third word,
  fucking, just to comprehend how great it is. Watching the Mavs-Spurs.
  What a series and what a game, overtime. And, its only the first of 2
  game fucking sevens tonight.

  I need some major help and was hoping you fine readers could help me.
  Please. I beg of you. Somebody please explain to me why a fucking prime
  time karaoke contest is the hottest thing in America and has been for
  like 5 years now. Now, I have never seen an episode of America Idol to
  know that it fucking sucks. Big time. In fact, its even painful to
  watch the damn commercials for it. The frustrating thing about FOX is
  that they either have the best shows or the worst, there really is no
  in between. And since I watch several of those great shows, I’m
  subjected to the previews for the crap ass shows, such as American Idol
  and So You Think You Can Fucking Dance. Oh, f.or u.nlawful c.arnal
  k.nowledge, what gives with this shit? Can America really not get
  enough of karaoke that they have to watch it on tv 23 times a week?
  Wait. I mis-counted. Its not 23 times. Its like 27 times. What fucking
  gives? Is it Paula Abdul? Is she promising to fuck people if they watch?
  Perhaps its Ryan Seacrest, a chance to see somebody that is a bigger
  ass than themselves. Could it be Simon Cowell? Do people just love to
  see an insecure fuck being a complete dick to people? I think all of
  that plays a role, yes. But, I think its the beer companies. With
  communities rightfully cracking down on drinking and driving, the beer
  makers need to keep making money, so they come up with a prime time
  karaoke contest so that people can get drunk and and watch karaoke from
  the comfort of their own homes. This has to be the case, its the only
  way it makes sense. Karaoke is only fun if you are drunk and it sure as
  hell is only close to being tolerable to watch if you are COMPLETELY
  fucking wasted. Now, I know this show is popular among teens, but think
  about it? Its the perfect cover for kids that like to drink. Katlin:
  “Mom, Dad, I’m going over to Janie’s to watch American Idol”. Dad: “Ok,
  princess, have fun.” Parents think American Idol is a wholesome family
  show and kids would not be doing anything wrong during it. Don’t get me
  wrong, I think these kids are watching American Idol, I just think they
  are getting drunk during it. And, this is why these kids have such a
  hard time voting. They are always complaining that they “can’t get
  through” or they “voted for the wrong person” of course you couldn’t
  get through, the * button is not a fucking number, and they have drank
  so much that they can’t see straight enough to tell the difference
  between #1 and #2. This is the only way the show’s popularity makes any
  damn bit of sense.

  • 10:59 pm
  • 3 Comments