July 10, 2006

• Yesterday, I had to help Mark with some back breaking, hard labor. He
  is replacing his concrete in his backyard with brick, so this meant we
  had to remove all his concrete. Hardest 3 hours of work I ever had, I
  tells ya. On the plus side, I got to use a jackhammer for the first
  time ever, so I can mark that off the list of things I have done that I
  don’t ever need to do again. Granted, I only used it for less then 2
  minutes, but it was enough for me. Those things are heavy, loud as
  hell, and hard to control. And me being weak and wimpy, its not a good
  tool for me to be using. Anywho, concrete is pretty damn heavy and I
  had no idea there is wire mixed in there. We were removing it and
  putting it on the side of his garage for now, which was a lot of work
  but even more work once the damn wheel barrel broke. Needless to say,
  it sucked major ass.

  Mark and Amy gave me a book to read called “A Child Called It.” Have
  any of you read this thing? Holy shit, its sad and tough to read. Its
  basically an auto biography of a guy that was physically and verbally
  abused by his mother. I’ve read about 50 pages so far and its really
  tough to read. In fact, I even let a guy at work read it and about
  halfway through he gave it back to me and said that he just couldn’t
  read it anymore, it was too tough especially since he has kids. Anywho,
  I just couldn’t help but think of this kid being abused the whole day.

  Well, I don’t want to bring anybody down, so its story time. And yes,
  this one is true. It’s a classic Mike and Dave story, something only
  the 2 of us could do, such as the time we had the deep fryer upside
  down.

  About 6 or 7 years ago, back when Jt, Dave and I were roadies for my
  friends band, we were coming home late at night, probably 2 or 3 in the
  am, from a show in the northern burbs (we live in the southwest burbs).
  I was driving Kelli’s 4 door Saturn, Jt was in the passenger’s seat and
  Dave was behind me, Kelli behind Jt. All was quiet in the car because
  they were all drunk and semi passed out. Anywho, I come up to a toll booth. I don’t know if
  any of you are familiar with Saturn’s, but the buttons to lower the
  windows are in between the front and passenger seats. Anywho, I’m
  slowing down on my approach to the booth and at the same time trying to
  unroll the window. I’m not really looking at the buttons, all I know is
  that its not going down. All I could hear was this:

  Dave: “AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! “
  Me:  “What the fuck, why won’t this damn window go down?”
  I continue to press the button, but nothing happens, except Dave’s loud and painful screams.
  Me: “Dave, would you shut the fuck up, I can’t get the damn window down
  Dave: “AHHHHHHH!!!! OWWWWWWWW”
  Kelli: “Dave, what’s wrong?”
  Dave: “OWWWWWWWW!!!!”
  Me: “DAMNIT DAVE, SHUT THE FUCK UP! JT, WOULD YOU SHUT HIM THE HELL UP!!!”
  Jt: “Uh Mike…..
  Me: “WHAT? DUDE, I can’t get the window down, help me get this damn window down”
  JT: “STOP PRESSING THE BUTTON!!”
  Me: “BUT THE FUCKING WINDOW WON’T GO DOWN!!!”
  Dave: “AHHHHHHHH!!!!! OWWWWWWWW!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!
  Jt: “DAVE’S HAND IS STUCK IN THE WINDOW!!!!”

  In a Frank Drebin Naked Gun kinda moment, I had managed to get Dave’s
  hand stuck in the window. Now, you might be wondering what his hand was
  doing there in the first place. Believe me, I was wondering the same
  damn thing. But, he said he was really hot and unrolled the window
  about 1/4 of the way (Kelli gets really cold, so he didn’t want to
  unroll it anymore) and wanted to get his body cold without getting
  Kelli cold, so he hung his hand out of the window. As you might have
  imagined, I had no idea what button I was pressing, since I was driving
  and therefore watching the road and not the buttons. The funniest part
  is that I continued to press the same button and not letting up, making
  Dave’s pain that much worse. I felt so bad about it at the time, but
  now as I tell the damn story, I can’t stop laughing. Luckily, his hand
  was ok, no damage, but shit, that only makes it even more funny.

  Oh, and no, I wasn’t drunk, just clueless. In fact, I didn’t have anything to drink.

  • 11:38 pm
  • 2 Comments