July 12, 2006

• Today at work we had a “white elephant sale” (I think that’s just a
  fancy way of saying garage sale) and a silent auction (that’s a normal
  way of saying silent auction). The whole thing was for charity, which
  is always cool. Anywho, as part of the auction, they had tickets to a
  White Sox game against the Mariners. Its on Sept 21, so potentially,
  they could be clinching the division that day. I saw this and instantly
  thought
  about my Sox fan friends. The biding started at $30, so I figured I
  would have to at least double that to get the tickets. My initial
  instinct was $100. But, I came to my senses and bid $80. Shortly after
  dropping my bid into the box, I began to have auctioneers remorse. For
  starters, these were 2 upper deck seats, and to be honest, at the most,
  the face value of each ticket is probably $20. Sure, if I won I would
  get the tickets, 2 Sox hats and a pennant. But, I’m not even a Sox fan,
  so why the hell would I want to go? Now I’m essentially in a contest
  that I don’t want to win. Next, I found out that they were actually
  giving away TWO sets of tickets, so that actually improved my chances
  of winning. Great. Just what I need, better odds to win something I
  don’t want to actually win. This is classic Mike.

  My boss was one of the people that was in charge of the auction.
  Towards the end of the day, I walked up to her and asked her if I won.
  She said I had not, which made me feel better, because, how the hell am
  I going to get rid of 2 tickets that are probably double the face
  value, its not like I can legally sell them for what I paid for them,
  even if it is for charity. I walked back to my desk and had a surprise
  waiting for me: 2 Sox hats and the pennant, I get the fucking tickets
  on Friday when I pay for what I won! That’s right, my boss, being a big
  Sox fan an knowing I’m a big Cub fan, pulled a fast one on me. I
  actually won the fucking tickets! So, if anybody is interested in
  seeing the Sox play Ichiro and the Seattle Mariners on Thursday Sept 21
  at 7:05 in the PM, plunk over $80 and the tickets, 2 hats, and pennant
  are all yours. Just my fucking luck, I can’t lose tickets that I don’t
  want to have. I swear, sometimes, I would rather have no luck at all
  than good luck. Shit, this aint even luck. Its my own damn fault, after
  all, I’m the one that outbid everybody else. Fuck me!!!

  I’m sure all of you have heard, North Korea has took a missile for a
  test shot in our general direction. This is potentially cause for
  concern, until you find out that the missile only went 43 miles before
  crashing into the ocean. Now, I’m not one for war, honestly, I still
  think we have a long way to go before we get to the war stage with
  North Korea, but thanks to Bush, even if North Korea were more
  competent, we wouldn’t even have the option for war. See, this is
  reason #84578513584451247421548000157 why the Iraq war was a stupid
  fucking idea. For starters, of course North Korea has it out for us,
  Bush named them in the Axis of Evil, and we have already invaded and
  waged war on one of the other Axies, if I were North Korea, common
  sense says they might be next, so its time to prepare. Also, because we
  are stuck in a never ending war in Iraq from which we can’t just up and
  leave, we really don’t have the resources to take care of business
  should it get that serious in North Korea. Now we are faced with having
  to rely on the United Nations to help us cool down North Korea. Is it
  just me, or is there a slight chance we might just fuck ourselves into
  another war?

  • 10:58 pm
  • 3 Comments