October 18, 2006

• I fear the end of days may be near. Turns out, I actually agree with some evangelicals about something. Nah, the end of days aren't near, because, as an atheist, I don't believe in the appocolypse. Anywho, read the story here:

  http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061018/ap_on_re_us/sudan_evangelicals

  This week at work they are going to have blood drive and also info about being a bone marrow donor. I grabbed a brochure to look into it, as I'm always look to donating when needed. Of course, I'm not giving blood because I'm a complete Prior (that's Cub lingo for pussy) when it comes to needles. As for the bone marrow, do you realize what you have to do to donate marrow? First of all, because obtaining bone marrow is expensive, people donating actually have to pay to donate. Normally, its $85, but people at our company are getting a discount, its "only" $55. But, that's not the crazy part. To donate, you actually have to take several blood tests and other tests just to see if you are a match. Should you match for somebody (and chances are, you will), the next step is taking some sort of pill or some kind of injection for a few days. Then comes the surgery. Usually, they get the bone marrow from your pelvis. It is an outpatient thing, but you remain pretty sore for about 3 or 4 days afterwards. Isn't it much easier to just give money or blood? No, I realize, people need bone marrow. Still, this is a major deal and process just to donate. Having a fear of needles, I'm not going to donate, but even if I didn't have a fear of needles, I still don't know if I would do it. But, I will say this, much kudos and praise to the people that do, they have my admiration.

  This is a bit late, but last week at Clem's, Todd said something to me that I have been thinking about ever since. We were talking about how I like sports, can't dance or dress and he said "wow, you have just completely blown every stereotype I have of gays. Are you sure you are gay?" Obviously, I am, but here is where it made me think. I don't want to over do this, but it made me realize that for most of my friends, I am their only representation of gay. Or, I'm the closest person to them that is gay. I don't know what to make of this. My friends all accept me for who I am, regardless of what or who I am. Nevertheless, does this mean I sort of have to watch what I do because I might give gays a bad name? Or does this just open up their eyes to typical (and for the most part, true) gay stereotypes and they see gays as being just like them, except gay? I think the latter might be more true. For years, Jt was the only person that knew I was gay. Yet, for years, he never treated me any different than anybody else. Now that we are no longer friends, I don't know what he thinks of gays, maybe I have ruined his perception of gays and now he has a problem with gays. I doubt that, though. Scooty was another person that said to me once "do you realize how unusual you are, being a gay guy that knows more about sports than most straight guys?". See, I don't know if this is supposed to be a compliment or more of an insult. I wasn't offended at the time and still am not offended by it (Scooty has said far more offensive things to me), but I think I'm more happy that I'm able to breakdown the typical gay stereotypes. Still, what do I mean to those that know I'm gay? Am I just their friend? Am I their gay friend? Or am I their gay friend who, oh, by the way, happens to be gay? I'm having a harder time explaining this that how I'm thinking it in my head. I do think that I have had an impact on Dave, for years Dave seemed to always have a problem with gays. I know he used to be against gay marriage, for example. I asked him about it now and he said that he only was like that because he thought I was gay and isn't really like that. I don't believe him, I think he is too worried that he might offended me if he had the same views (I would be offended). But, still, I think that in the 2 years since he found out I'm gay, he has a more positive perception of gays. I think he now sees them as being just like straight people. And ultimately, I think if it came down to it, he would support me in a battle for gay marriage. In the end, though, I just want them to see me as a person and not a sexuality. I don't want to be treated any differently than anybody else. And for the most part, that is how my friends have all treated me. Sure, they were all surprised at first (that's not to say that they didn't suspect it) and asked many questions all of which I was happy to answer. But, with the exception of some of Scooty's rude and uncalled for comments, they don't treat me any different and they don't see me as being their "gay friend" but instead just their friend. Which, is all I could truly ask. The interesting thing about it, is that Scooty has a gay brother and although he has spent the most time around any other gays, he is the one that is the least sensitive and seems to make the most and worst comments, even if they are just jokes. Does this mean that everybody else might be worried that they will offend me or upset me? I'm a hard person to offend, although there is a time and place for those sorts of comments or jokes. Being socially retarded, Scooty doesn't seem to get this. In the end, I think that, for lack of a better term, my purpose has been to open up their eyes to gays and make them realize that gays are not any different that heterosexuals. That's not to say my friends have been homophobic or had a problem with gays, some of them I know did have problems with gays, but not all of them. Now, though, all of them are very accepting and comfortable around me.

  • 10:58 pm
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