November 20, 2006

• I was given ANOTHER one of these surveys to do and I filled it out in my own little way. Take a look.

  Welcome to the 2006 Holiday Edition of Getting to Know Your Friends!
  Enjoy!! Everyone has time for a few moments of fun! Don't be a scrooge!!!

  1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate??  I think combining egg and nog is
  unnatural, its an abomination. I firmly believe that if an egg and nog
  can not reproduce, they should not be together. The egg should only be
  with other eggs and the nog should only be with............well, with
  whatever else a nog is with.

  2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?  Santa is
  an illegal immigrant who needs to bust his ass or he will get deported,
  so he damn well better wrap those fucking gifts.

  3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? I'm all about lots of color
  and diversity, unless those colors involve whities.

  4. Do you hang mistletoe?  the only thing thats hung at my house is
  me............I mean have you seen the bulge in my jeans?

  5. When do you put your decorations up?  As soon as I sober up from
  Thanksgiving.

  6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Not a
  satellite dish, I can tell you that much

  7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child:  Dancing to the music on the
  weather channel while my mom prepared Thankgiving dinner the night
  before 1998 Thanksgiving.

  8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?  When my mom yelled
  at him for calling during "nap time".

  9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?  Well, I usually break into the
  neighbor's house and open their shit.

  10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? With cyanide and arsenic,
  that will teach that fucker Santa not to wrap the gifts.

  11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? I like it, it reminds me of the fields of
  cocaine that we used to vacation at when we were kids.

  12. Can you ice skate?  Ice skate, shit, I can't even ice stand or walk,
  how the hell am I supposed to skate

  13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Ah yes, it was the raging case
  of herpes I got from Father Henry after Christmas Eve mass back in '79.

  14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Finding
  out which motherfuckers hate me so much to include a death threat with
  the Christmas cards they send me. Well, I'm on to you now you pricks and
  let me tell you, I wouldn't be eating any fruitcake I send you spineless
  piece of shit.

  15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Brown and yellow snow

  16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Oh, I just love the
  tradition my mom started of threatening to cancel Christmas after Mark
  or John broke something.

  17. What tops your tree?  I don't know, but my dog used to hump the shit
  out of our tree until he had pine needles hanging from his butt.

  18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Are we talking oral,
  because both totally kick ass!

  19. What is your favorite Christmas Song?  Have Yourself A Very Whorey
  Christmas

  20. Candy Canes! yuck or yummy? I won't even entertain the idea of a
  candy cane until they make one entirely of chocolate.

  21. Fave Christmas Movie? BORAT!!!

  • 10:48 pm
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